Silent Night

Submitted into Contest #74 in response to: Write a story that takes place across ten seconds.... view prompt

11 comments

Thriller Horror Suspense

Warning (18+)!!!!!! This story involves dark imagery and the symbolism of depression. Content may be sensitive to some readers and should be read on their own accord.




When I was little, my mother would tell me stories of this place called Silent Night Mountain. She had said it was cursed by a woman who the townspeople banished from our small town of Bethlehem. It's told that in the night, she would steal the youth of the children of Bethlehem to keep herself young, forever! 


The townspeople talked of her and how she got transformed into a creature unworthy of love. They spoke of her wandering soul, trapped on the earth forever. Out in the cold, it’s said she died alone, frozen to death. It’s also told that those who travel to the mountain never return. It was a wise tale, though—a story to scare the children into behaving.


As I got older, I realized I was too old for scary stories and decided to bring my friends on a weekend trip. I told nobody where we were going as I wanted it to be a surprise. I had always wanted to visit Silent Night Mountain, and today was the day. Who would know it would be my last day.


Do you want to know how it happened? Why don't I give you the ten second run down? No, I'm not kidding... It felt like forever to us, but the snow witch works quickly.


One, the snow starts to nip at my skin and burning as the winds start howling through the mountains. The air was thin like razor blades. Every breath was a knife cutting hard and deep in my lungs. We all were tired, needing food, shelter, and water. We couldn’t stop, though. Just give up when we were so close?


Two, an earth-shattering scream erupts in our ears as the snow tightens its grasp on us. It was Elli; I knew it in my soul. The sound being ripped from her as a crackling sound followed. I was scared to turn around, frightened by what could have made her make such a hideous sound. Liam pulled my arm, making me watch in horror.


Three, Elli’s face turned a crystal blue as her body iced over. She froze in place, a perfect statue of her final moments. Her face streaked with terror. Her eyes hollow, an image of Liam and I bored into the irises.


Four, I watched as Liam clawed at his arms, ripping layers of ice and skin to try and stop the same fate. He howled in pain, tears streaming down his face. I tried to move towards him, but the wind gained more speed, making my efforts pointless.


A gust of snow swirled around him. It was as if the cold was consuming him cell by cell until he was a figurine like Elli. Crystal clear, the marks of torn skin frozen in perfect pieces. Though frozen, it seemed as if I could still hear their cries of terror.


Five, I turned to try and run. Fear filled me from my head to my toes. It took a grip on my soul, squeezing my core. My brain raced, distracting me.


Six, my feet slowly became heavy as scorching pain shot up my legs, halting me in place. Frozen in a running position, I tried to move to my legs to pull them free. Ice traveled at what felt like a car going five miles an hour. It leaked into my bloodstream, moving at the speed of light—pain traveling further through my body.


Seven, a scream ejects from my lungs as the cold starts to pierce my heart. I tried to reach for it. I tried to claw my way to the pain. It was useless, though as my arms were frozen, curled in anguish—every inch of me in agony.


Eight, a deep cackle sounds, echoing off the mountains. I tried to cover my ears to no avail, the pain growing worse. Suddenly a hideous woman stood before me. Her eyes dark as night, her hair falling in chunks, and her face sunk in like the dead.


She was breathing heavy, her breath icing in the wind. I watched as she studied me. She seemed utterly unphased by the cold while I stood shivering. With no other choice, I stood in horror as I watched her mouth stretch into a terrible grin, moving her lips with no sound coming forth. Out of nowhere, the ice took grasp of my throat, stealing my oxygen from me. 


She cackled before turning away. I watched as her figure moved away from me and disappeared into the snow. Finally, the ice reached my head, cutting my brain off at the stem. Though I was dying, my life flashed before my eyes.


Nine, images of my childhood memories flashed through my mind going so fast I didn’t have time to depict them. Oddly I saw every memory, though. I saw myself running to my mother, her arms wide open. I saw the good and the bad times of my life.


Ten, the night my father passed, the night of graduation, the night my friends and I started college. I focused on the memory of my dad handing me an American Girl Doll. Her hair was dark brown, matching mine. Our eyes glimmering a hazel color in the sun. The memory struck deep before flashing away.


It all passed through me in a second before the image of the hag froze into my brain. I screamed internally as the ice halted, frozen solid as my last breath ghosted into the wind.


That was ten years ago, on this day. I warn you that if you dare go behind your parent's backs, don't. To this day, I wish I would have listened to my Momma. The story lured me in, but the story sealed my doom. Nothing is worth the pain of ice tearing you apart. To watch your best friends slowly die in front of you. 


Now just like I, you understand why Momma told me to never go to Silent Night Mountain. Head my warning, or you two may end up like my friends and me, frozen forever upon the top of Silent Night Mountain.



December 26, 2020 04:36

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11 comments

Abood Balbisi
19:25 Jan 10, 2021

Can I post your story on YouTube with your name listed?

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Rose Pearson
20:42 Jan 10, 2021

Omg! That would be awesome!! Of course you can!! Thank you so much!

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Rose Pearson
03:00 Jan 15, 2021

What’s your YouTube so I can find it?

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Abood Balbisi
11:56 Jan 23, 2021

Wait, soon. I'm preparing some things for the channel

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Abood Balbisi
15:22 Jun 03, 2021

https://youtu.be/3wjgHZWiXwo My friend, you can bring the video here, I hope you like it

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06:26 Jan 03, 2021

Great story, you were very descriptive in your narrating which took hold of my attention. Your descriptive writing style helped me visualize the horror and anguish you endured on that fateful journey.

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Rose Pearson
18:45 Jan 03, 2021

Thank you so so much! I was scared it was a little to descriptive! Thank you for taking the time to read my story!

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Lucía M
02:49 Jan 03, 2021

Great story! I love to use first person point of view in my stories as well, I think it definitely gives the reader a bigger opportunity of connecting with the characters in a more "intimate" way. Overall, amazing narration and storytelling skills! Also, it would mean so much to me if you could check out my latest story. Its on this same prompt and I would love to hear what you have to say about it :)

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Rose Pearson
18:45 Jan 03, 2021

Thank you so much for your comment! I definitely will! I’m so glad you enjoyed the story!

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Gracie G.
20:22 Jan 02, 2021

at first, i was a little surprised with your way of storytelling but then i got so drawn in and was amazed by the imagery and language! great job! :)

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Rose Pearson
18:45 Jan 03, 2021

Thank you so much love! Thank you for taking the time to read and I’m so glad you enjoyed!

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