April Fools, Frank!

 My alarm clock went off indicating it was the absolute worst day of the year. I rolled my eyes and shut it off before groaning in agony. Work was going to be hell today, everyone will be running around playing absurd pranks on each other. Last year, Linda from financing switched the sugar in the break room to salt, resulting in everyone spitting out their coffee, and using all the water in the water cooler. I made a mental note to fill up a water bottle from my fridge, and probably take coffee from my house so I could avoid being a victim of another ruthless joke. I pulled on my jeans and my work T-shirt from yesterday. The smell of unsalted coffee drifted through the air and I smiled slightly. Everyone will be so disappointed that they didn't think ahead as I did. My waterbottle overflowed a bit so I pulled it away from the dispenser and groaned as I left my tiny apartment into the world of pranks. 

On the drive to work, I kept going over everything that had been done the year before. Susan from HR had taped an Airhorn to 3 different people's chairs, so when you sat down it would scream. Larry who was also in financing with Linda had offered everyone caramel apples which were actually onions, I was smart enough to catch that one. Obviously, I would have to plan my day around not having to use or touch anything that anyone else had access to. Brian from sales had put spiders and other various bugs in people drawers with tape, so when you pulled them open it would jump at you. There were very few jokes that I would slightly chuckle at, however, the one Brendal pulled, I remembered got someone hurt. Brendal had put saran wrap on a toilet in the men's room as a prank, Alexander used the toilet after that and slipped in his own urine causing him to get a concussion from hitting his head so hard on the stall door. I wish bathrooms were a thing I could just bring from home in this case. 

I pulled into the parking lot slowly and parked in my normal spot near the back. I took a deep breath and shook my head preparing myself for what was in store for the day. The pranks aren't too bad, it's just that they always assign very large projects due shortly after the 1st. With all the pranks, and yelling, it made it hard to meet said deadlines - or even get anything done for that matter. I shoved my water bottle into my bag and clenched my thermos in my left hand as I stepped out of my car. I made sure to watch every step I took to make sure I wasn't walking into a tripwire or some weird quicksand trap. The hallway looked clear, as did the door so I carefully opened it up and cautiously walked in. 

"Goodmorning Frank!" I flinched as the receptionist greeted me.

"Mornin' Gloria," I called back.

She smiled and looked back down at her computer. I walked guarded through the hallway to my team as I waited for her to drop a spider down in my face, or tell me my shoe was untied. Finally, and without interruption, I found my cubical and placed my bags on my desk. Dylan my Cubical neighbor wasn't here yet so I looked around to make sure no one was watching me and took a quick peek under my chair for any air horns or whoopie cushions hanging out, but all was clear. Next, I checked all my drawers for bugs, and my computer tabs for creepy pop-ups just in case someone got creative this year oddly enough nothing stood out. With a sigh of relief after searching my area for pranks, I sat down in my chair and started working on this week's project. I had been working on this project for a bit, perfecting every detail of it. I was excited to get it almost completely done today and turn it in by Friday's deadline, I just needed to have no one trick or prank me today so I could focus on it. 

I kept thinking of the silly things people do on this day to their parents, sisters, partners, bosses, and co-workers, who even invented this day, and what purpose does it serve? As curiosity got the best of me, I pulled up google and searched "How was April fools created?" and found that there were no serious answers on the subject, ha, I'm not surprised. I closed out the search and continued slowly on the project in hand, at least I still had tomorrow to finalize and edit everything for it. I leaned back and looked back over at Dylan's empty chair. Hmm, usually he isn't late and would have shown up giving me some weird dad greeting. Suddenly I got a tingly, twisty feeling in my stomach... Dylan is planning a prank, I know he is! Once again my guard was up and I was looking around for any chuckles or peering eyes, however, the surrounding area was empty as well. I debated on calling him and telling him his cover was blown and I know about the plans, but I decided to slightly turn my computer instead so I had eyes on all of the entrances. 

I tapped my pencil on the desk trying to concentrate on my work, but still distracted and panicked about Dylan not being here. It was now an hour and a half past clock-in time with still no sign of him. Every creak would cause me to turn and check every door, and every desk around me. Greg kept glancing over at me and I couldn't tell if it was because he knew something, or if it was because I was being so fidgety, so I would just repeatedly smile and nod at him. 

As we got into the middle of the day Dylan finally came walking Through the door empty-handed. 

"Hey man, sorry I'm late! I got here as soon as I wanted to" He laughed and took a seat in his chair. While his computer was booting up he turned back towards me "how has today been? Pretty slow?"

I glared at him for a moment confused, and interested. "Uh, it's been decent" I kept facing him because I was not turning my back on him today. 

He sat there facing me as well, with a look that told me he was waiting for me to say more. I was sure he was confused about why I was still looking at him, but I wasn't sure I could trust him. 

"so that's it?" I asked, "You just come here, and start working?" 

He scrunched his face in confusion and looked away before responding. "Yes? That's usually what you do at work... wow, you're really strung out today Frank." 

He shook his head and turned back to his computer to start working silently. 

I squinted my eyes and slowly turned to my computer to continue working on the project, but never letting my guard down. 

The day went on just as normal as any other day, and I was starting to grow suspicious. How had nothing happened? There were no spiders, no salt, no tripwires, no super glue on my cup, nothing. We had 5 minutes of work left, had I really avoided every catastrophic event that would cause humiliation today? I was feeling pretty smug as I watched the clock tick down to only two minutes left of work. I had done it, I had won April fools day. I checked my email one more time before clocking out and read a google reminder "Submit project by end of the day" I rubbed my eyes and looked at it again. what? No way, that's due tomorrow!

"Alright everyone, have a great weekend, and stay safe!" Joe, our boss yelled before leaving the room.

Frantically I checked my phone's calendar which read April 2nd. After thinking about it for a moment I remembered the email I had only skimmed through, the email last week read;

"Due to last year's events, and Alexander's concussion April fools jokes will not be tolerated in the workspace. Anyone who is caught pranking will be sent home for the day on unpaid suspension" 

I shook my head and slammed my hands onto my face. The only person who had played a prank today was me... on me.