Funny Fiction Happy


Martin and Frank were two old friends who morphed into the geezers they are today. Since they now wear their lifetime achievement badges, they’re never ones to stop what they’ve always lived to do and that is to tell people what they don’t want to hear, because they know everything about anything and everyone. Both of their middle names are busy body. However, today was to be a different day.

Each time they met at the Dog and Pony Bar & Grill, which would be every Thursday on the dot at high noon, the talk would be the same. When they greeted each other, it was as if they hadn’t seen each other in years. They got their usual table and the talk went on and on as they tucked into the luncheon house special.

Today’s highlight of conversation began about a recent newspaper article that they both had read. Martin was the first to pipe up with, “Get a load of that high-brow thinking in that story on the front page. Right?” he snickered and added, “How to Make Things Work Better My Way.” Just because he’s got that piece of paper from that hoity toity school, you might think he knows more than us learned folk?”

Frank laughed loudly and agreed with his friend. “I think,” he added, “we need to get in on his idea. How about we come up with, Make Things Work Better OUR Way.” The two badgered each other about the endless possibilities until they came to an agreement.

The one thing two old geezers felt they needed to change in this modern world of so much technology up the wazoo running everybody’s life, is how every house has a sideline pet that went by the name of, ALEXA.

Martin was adamant in coming up with a game changer, in his new way of thinking. He thought back to a time when his mother was a totally different type of Alexa. She brought him up with a no nonsense attitude. You did what was expected in and around the household. No questions. You wanted something, let’s see how much effort it took to get you a dollar to buy that toy or that snack. Frank agreed, nodding vigorously. He liked the idea but had another way to make the whole idea sink in to make an impression for the good of all and not just the next generation.

The two knew that their time was up, since lunchtime was long over. So they made a plan to find the dweebs they needed to concoct the plan. Where were they hanging out? Easy answer. At the bookstore coffeeshop for sure. Gotta have your fancy double shot espresso latte skim milk mochaccino. They agreed to meet there early the next day to find the one they were looking for, whoever that might be.

Before they split, Martin said, “What are we doing? Aren’t we just supposed to relax, meet up for lunch, and do a whole lot of nothing? We’ve earned this time.”

Frank nodded but added, “So, if we could be something other than that, why not? We have to break out of our hum drum every now and then. Can’t forget to throw in a little fun. We can be the new geezers on the block. OK?”

The next day was here and the two were at the street corner where the bookstore was in plain view. They noticed the ones coming and going were exactly the right dweebs. Now to solicit the right one for their hairbrained but needy ideas.

It didn’t take long before the right person who happened to have the right book, caught their attention. It was, in a strange way, the right theme. Shakespeare. “To be, or not to be: that is the question.” “Nothing will come of nothing.” “Lord, what fools these mortals be!” Before long, they engaged in a conversation with Nate, and their plan was laid out. The young dude was totally wrapped up in their thinking and had a friend who knew a friend who could, without a doubt, create their ideal model.

While Martin’s plan was hatching, Frank’s idea was taken into consideration as the next best blend of the same two thoughts. They agreed that these would spark an interest like no other, make a point, and put the message out there to one and all. Would it be funny? YES! and It would be a good way to add a mix of old and new thinking to make a point that should not be forgotten. Martin got ahold of folks he knew from the senior center who were so like him and Frank with the same attitude, in the lackadaisical way society has turned, especially with the young people. Now the time was here to address that for the good.

Before long, the three met up again and with the process worked out, and simplified, it was time to make a statement. Now Martin and Frank had to stoop low and use some technology and with Nate’s help, created an online presence and soon found a film crew who agreed to get on board with their unique idea.

Before long, they had created a way to adjust the style of the famous, ALEXA. Martin had one way, Frank had another.

“Are we ready for this?” Frank wanted to be clear about this new investment of their lives that was about to change. His senior friends had already did their part and were as giddy as kids about their role. They were told to keep a lid on the project until it was a go.

“We need to stay in the game. You’re dead a long time and so we got to do this now! Since we got Nate, we’re good with all the techy stuff he’ll need to keep us up on.” Martin knew it was time to unfold this plan and their new business venture.

One by one throughout the day the film crew, Martin, Frank and Nate went house to house in various neighborhoods where they already got the okay to stop by. The first house became their claim to fame with their new invention, MOTHER KNOWS BEST. Nate was brought to see their ALEXA and attached the computer chip. The activation was priceless as he spoke, “Hey! Can you get me a take-out order of pizza?”

The voice was one of the senior ladies who answered, “Excuse me young man. But you need to be polite when addressing me. If you need to eat, save your money and eat what’s in the refrigerator. And please clean up when you’re finished.


January 08, 2021 14:20

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