Fire and Ice
By: Amelia K
Lily McArthur awoke to a bright yellow sun shining through her curtains. Lily was an orphan and lived in an orphanage. She never really knew what had happened to her parents except for the fact that they had abandoned her at birth. All she had left of them was a tattered photo of her mom and dad on their wedding day.
11 years earlier
“Donald guess what,” exclaimed Hillary. “We are going to have a baby girl.”
Once Hillary McArthur knew she was going to have a baby she couldn’t wait. The weeks passed and then the months, pretty soon the day had come.
It was a nice autumn morning, leaves were falling gracefully on the ground and the wind felt like a relaxing breeze. After a painful birth, Mrs McArtur saw a beautiful baby girl with bright red hair and icy blue eyes.
“Oh my gosh she is a bundle of joy,” exclaimed Mrs McArthur.
All of a sudden a nurse with a bright blue outfit entered the room. She had blond hair and bright blue eyes. “Hi Mrs would you hand your baby to me.” “She needs to stay at the hospital for 2 weeks before she can leave.” While the nurse was saying this she placed her hand on the parents foreheads and left. No one ever knew who she was and where she went.
Present Day
Lily lived with a woman named Martha. She had blond hair and bright blue eyes and was very mean and bad tempered. There were also 4 other girls who lived with Lily. Avery, Maya, Emily, and Miley. Everyday, the girls would have tons of chores and work to do. Martha made them clean her house twice a day and fetch her groceries or things she needed. Lily wanted to get adopted just as much as her friends. Except for some reason Martha never would want Lily to get adopted. It was like she liked Lily even though she treated her horribly. One night, Lily was cleaning the kitchen when Martha came to inspect her. She made her clean the whole thing again because she missed one spot. Lily was sick of her life. She couldn’t wait til the day she was 18 and could move out of this dump. Except, that wasn’t until 7 years.
One day at school Lily and her friend Maya were walking home. “Oh look who it is the loser orphans walking home together,” shouted Billy the bully. Lily couldn’t take this anymore. Billy had bullied them since the start of the year.
“Will you shut up,” shouted Lily. “I’m sick of you picking on us.” “I will beat you up.” Billy smirked and picked up Lily by the collar of her shirt. All of a sudden Lily’s hair grew bright red like fire and burst into flames. Scared Billy backed away. Then, blasts of ice shot out of Lily’s eyes. Panicked, Billy ran away and so did Maya.
Lily burst into tears and ran as fast as she could straight into a woman who happened to be Martha. “Well well well Lily you have finally found out about your powers.” Martha picked Lily up and dragged her to a dark underground train station, which looked abandoned.
“You see I knew about your powers,” exclaimed Martha. “Eleven years ago I took you away from your parents.” “I used my powers to make them forget about you.” “I need you to be my evil apprentice and destroy the world.”
“I never liked you and I will never be evil,” yelled Lily. “You destroyed my life and now I will destroy yours.”
“Ok I’d like to see you,” said Martha as she locked Lily in a giant cage. “You see I control your powers and I can take them away in a blink of an eye.”
Lily was angry. This woman did something to her parents and she wasn’t going to let her get away with it. With great anger Lily’s hair grew bright red and she melted the cage away.
Martha tried to snap her fingers, so she could stop Lily, but she was too strong now. So it was no use. Martha lunged at Lily.
Lily had ice shoot out of her eyes right at Martha, freezing her into a running pose.
12 hours earlier
Martha walked into a tiny brownstone house. It was the house that Mr and Mrs McArthur lived in. It was dark and no one could see anything. Martha knocked on the door and Mr McArthur opened it.
“Did you trap her?” asked Mr McArthur. “Yes I will put her in a cage,” replied Martha. “All these years and my wife doesn’t remember a thing,” said Mr McArthur. “I mean my powers can kill her in an instant.” “Why don’t I fight Lily.”
“Well I think she remembers what you look like from your wedding picture,” replied Martha. “Did you give it to her?”
“Of course I didn’t!” shouted Mr McArthur.
Mrs McArthur was tossing and turning in bed. She wondered who was shouting and making a ruckus at this hour. She walked out of bed and down the stairs.
“Why did you wait this long to kill her!” yelled Mr McArthur.
“Kill who?” Questioned Mrs McArthur in a stern voice.
“Just go back to bed Hillary,” shouted Mr McArthur.
“Donald I will take care of it,” said Martha. Martha placed her hand on Mrs McArthur's forehead and said, “forget what you heard and go to bed.” Mrs McArthur listed immediately and went back upstairs to bed.
Present Time
Lily knew Martha would unfreeze and minute, so she got ready to strike her. What Lily didn’t know was that Lily was born with her powers and. Martha couldn’t control her powers. The only power Martha had was reading people’s minds and making them forget things. All of a sudden there was a flash of blinding light and then, the room went dark, and Martha disappeared into thin air.
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9 comments
Hey, Amelia would you be kind to watch the first video it's on Harry potter. https://youtu.be/KxfnREWgN14 Sorry for asking your time, I would ready your story
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Hi I watched it and subscribed would you be kind and please subscribe to my channel IT'S CARTIES WORLD
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Yes sure subscribing it now
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Wowowowowowowow! A+ writing! 🤩🤩🤩 -Aerin! (Oh, and would you mind checking out my story ‘Rebel Prince’? Thanks...!)
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This is so unique! I haven't read such a powerful piece of this prompt. Not until...now;) Mind checking out my new story and sharing your views on it? Thanks.
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You have a good ability to describe a scene, but your dialogue needs clarification. You got very ambitious with flashback scenes, but you have little quirks in your writing that make that technique confusing. It is more difficult because you shift scenes back and forth four times in only a thousand words. You could fix it if you moved the eleven years ago flashback into dialogue during the scene at the brownstone. Then you have three scenes and only one "flashback." It's a minor change, but if you try it, I think you will find it works.
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Thanks for the feedback
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Overall, it was a great story. I do wish for better formatting to make it easier to read (e.g. some dash marks to indicate the change of sections)... Would you mind checking my recent story out too? Thank you! :)
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Thanks for the feedback
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