SCREENPLAY: The Prime Suspect of the Chicken Nugget Incident (My first story on this website)

Author's Note: Let’s pretend that all of the typos are intentional and that I actually know what a screenplay is.

Trigger Warning: Bad grammar. 

Scene 1: In front of the donut shop

Rune: You have to believe me! I didn't do it! I didn't-

Security Guy: Sir it's pretty clear that it was you who stole fourteen boxes of donuts using nothing but a rake and plastic straw to threaten the employees this morning.

Rune: B-but I hate donuts!

Store Owner: *looks offended* Don’t be ridiculous! How could someone hate donuts?

Rune: I don’t even own a rake!

Security Guy: Then how do you explain that! *points at a car that has a rake stabbed

through the windshield*

Rune: THAT ISN’T EVEN MY CAR!!!

Security Guy: Well OBVIOUSLY. You probably stole it!

Rune: That's NOT what I meant!!

Security Guy: I’m something of a detective myself, so don’t go around thinking you can fool me!

Scene 2: Across the street

Dill: *crouching behind a mailbox and frantically wiping donut frosting from his face*

I gotta hide from those guys!!!

Mr. Baxter: *happens to be walking past* *sees Dill* Why hello there, Dilly! Fancy seeing you here at this hour.

Dill: *jumps in surprise* oh uh- *wipes donut crumbs from his face* hi Baxter.

Mr. Baxter: You usually aren’t up this early! Especially on a saturday!

Dill: uh yes… i just felt-

Mr. Baxter: a calling? an urge to do something productive? a sudden jolt of motivation?

Dill: I guess you could call it that.

*people yelling from the donut shop*

Mr. Baxter: Anyways dilly, have you heard what rune did this morning?

Dill: What rune did this morning? *looks confused*

Mr. Baxter: yes yes apparently he stole an entire bus! I heard them talking about it on my way here. 

Dill: Steal a bus? But I didn-

Mr. Baxter: Yes and apparently he tried to attack the driver with a shovel!

Dill: But wasn’t it a rake?

Mr. Baxter: Oh right!! It was a fork! Thanks for reminding me, dilly *pats dilly on the head* and apparently he robbed a bakery too! Kids these days… *continues rambling*

Dill: He robbed a bakery?

Mr. Baxter: Pardon me, I meant to say “bank”. *continues rambling*

Dill: *looks perplexed* Don’t you have somewhere to be, Baxter?

Mr. Baxter: Oh right! I have to go to my crochet club! Just wait till they hear what I saw this morning!

Scene 3: In front of the donut shop

Store Owner: I’m calling the police!

Rune: Please! No! I have a wife and kids!

Security Guy: NOT AFTER THEY HEAR WHAT YOU DID!

Store Owner: *calls police*

Rune: THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

Newsreporter: *comes out of nowhere* This is channel 62568762456 news and today

we’re here with the prime suspect of the chicken nugget incident! Ringle, what do you have to say for yourself? *shoves the mic into Rune’s face*

Rune: I didn’t do it!

Newsreporter: And there you have it folks, Rongle admits that he’s actually a turkey! 

Store Owner: WHAT IS GOING ON!?!

Random People in Biker outfits: *points at Rune* IT'S REBECCA!! GET HER!! *they jump off their bikes and run at him with garlic cloves* BEGONE VAMPIRE!!!

Rune: SOMEONE HELP ME!! *someone puts an entire clove of garlic in his mouth* *muffled screaming*

Newsreporter: Looks like thanksgiving is going to be early this year.

Police: *finally arrives* everybody stay back!!! 

*everybody steps away from rune*

Police: Don’t worry Rune, I know the truth…

Rune: *muffled* oh thank goodness

Police: THAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE A CHICKEN!

Rune: *muffled* WHAT

Police: Be free little bird!! *shoves people away*

Rune: *spits out garlic* WHAT!

Police: I said: BE FREE LITTLE BIRD!!!

Rune: um… okay i guess. *runs away*

Police: *wipes a tear* they grow up so fast

Biker Guys: SHE’S GETTING AWAY!!!

Newsreporter: STOP!! THAT’S NOT REBECCA THAT’S RUNGLO!!

Biker Guys: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?!?

Newsreporter: BECAUSE *rips off sunglasses* I'M REBECCA *hisses and eyes glow red*

Cameraman: B-Bethany? *faints*

Biker Guys: *run away screaming*

Newsreporter(Rebecca/Bethany?): *transforms into a bat and flies around screeching menacingly*

Store Owner: Oh my god! THAT’S MY LONG LOST PET BILBO!

Newsreporter(Rebecca/Bethany/Bilbo?): *lands on donut store owner’s shoulder* I missed you, but alas I was forced to hide as a human in this treacherous world in fear of the biker lads. I shall never leave your side again, my sweet darling.

Security Guard: This is exactly how I thought things were going to play out! Wow, I'm a great detective!

Scene 4: Across the street

Rune: *running* *trips on something*

Dill: OW! *was taking a nap* Watch where you’re going!

Rune: Why are you taking a nap in the middle of the sidewalk!?!? And why do you have a cardboard cutout of my face!!!??!?!

Dill: Um… it’s halloween?

Rune: IT'S THE MIDDLE OF JULY

Dill: Close enough. 

Rune: *looks at him for a few seconds* *realizes* HEY!!! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO

ROBBED THE DONUT SHOP!

Dill: *nervous* what makes you think that *frantically brushes sprinkles off of his pants*

Rune: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?

Dill: I was hungry.

Rune: Did you try BUYING a donut?

Dill: I didn't think of that.

Rune: Well what did you do with all of the donuts?

Dill: I gave them to people in need.

Rune: *shocked* really? That’s actually really nice of y-

Dill: The people in need being me. I was in desperate need of donuts. 

Rune: YOU ATE 14 BOXES OF DONUTS?!?!

Dill: 15 if you count the straw.

Rune: THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

Dill: Your face makes no sense.

Rune: You are SO lucky that we’re surrounded by police right now.

Dill: Are you threatening me?

Rune: No of course not. 

Dill: Good because if you so much as try to touch me, I’ll scream and call the police.

Rune: That’s not fair!

Dill: OW OW OW!! I'M BEING ATTACKED!

Rune: Oh goodness not again *runs away*

Dill: Ugh finally, I thought he’d never leave *pulls out donuts from under the mailbox and continues eating*

THE END!!!