The final one wins it all

Submitted into Contest #73 in response to: Write about someone who gets proposed to five times on Christmas Eve.... view prompt

1 comment

Christmas Romance Teens & Young Adult

As Rain is walking to her car after work she looks up and sees her skinny boyfriend with shoulder length black hair and too many ear piercings to count riding into the parking lot on an elephant. 

“What on earth?!” she screams, but he can't hear her over the mariachi band and the circus performance. She stares in awe as he swings off the elephant using a firemans pole, that she has no idea where he acquired, and lands right at her feet. She just shakes her head, raises her eyebrow, and waits for an explanation. He reaches down to his belt where a speakerphone is latched on and raises it to his mouth. 

“America! I’m in love!” At this point Rain is considering walking away when after a long pause she hears, “Rain Marshall, will you do me the honor of being my wife?” 

She sighs and says “AJ Sallow, I love you, but how in your right mind would you think I wanted a proposal this big?” AJ sinks to the floor sitting on his knees and just stops and thinks “Damn it. I messed up so bad, what was I thinking?” Rain walks away. As she’s walking to her car she's stepping over confetti and glitter that she has no idea how he’ll clean up. The tears welling up in her hazel eyes make the glitter glisten even more in them. She unlocks her black prius and slides in. She turns the rearview mirror towards her and sees a petite blue haired girl looking back. She has a thin face with a nose a little too big for her small proportions. 

She starts the car and then realizes she has no idea where she’s headed. She doesn’t want to go back to her and AJ’s tiny one bedroom apartment downtown. She starts driving without any idea where she’s going. Meanwhile, AJ is still back at Rain’s job cleaning up the parking lot and wondering what he’s gonna do next. After driving for 30 minutes and sobbing, Rain finally arrives at her best friend Mariana’s house. Mariana opens the door to see a disheveled, red face girl standing there. 

“Rain! Are you okay?! Did that stupid boy do something?? Aight I’m ready to kill him let's go.” Mariana puts her fists up before hugging Rain and bringing her inside. Rain laughs as she sits down on the couch. 

“Mariana you’re ridiculous.” Rain proceeds to tell her all the details of the way too extravagant proposal. Mariana holds up her finger as if to say hold on and walks to the bedroom. 

A second later she comes out with a ring and gets down on one knee. “Alright I think we should be done with stupid boys and get into a lesbian relationship.” Mariana is a raging lesbian and Rain is bi, so for a second Rain seriously considered Mariana’s offer, but remembering her boyfriend cleaning up the proposal mess all by himself snapped her back into reality. 

Rain replies, “Mariana, you know I love you more than anything in the world, but we’re platonic and I have a boyfriend. Remember last time?” 

Mariana laughs, sighs, and says, “Yeah yeah whatever, go help your boyfriend,” in a much more condescending tone than she meant it. Rain walks to her car and drives back to the parking lot where she was proposed to only to find it spotless and AJ-less. She dreads seeing him but misses her boyfriend, so she procrastinates again and drives to AJ’s best friend Hudson’s house hoping to avoid AJ again. Hudson and Rain have had what some would call a tumultuous history. AJ and Rain met when she and Hudson were dating. She and AJ fell in love and she left Hudson for him.

 As she drove down the long, winding road, she thought about all her relationships, Mariana, Hudson, and now AJ. Was he who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? She began to doubt her decisions as she arrived at Hudson’s house. Hudson and AJ were very similar but there was one major difference; Hudson was an asshole. He always treated Rain badly, but she still stayed though she knew she shouldn’t. She gets to his house and is suddenly unable to catch her breath.

 As she’s breathing heavily and starting to shake, Hudson walks out with a concerned look on his face. “Rain? What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you in awhile. What’s, uh, what’s poppin?” Hudson is a very awkward guy who rambles when he’s anxious and has a hard time with conversation. Rain says nothing, just falls into his arms and starts to cry. Hudson scoops her up and brings her inside. He starts to brew her some tea while she sits on the floor crying. He takes a seat next to her and awkwardly pats her back. 

She sniffles and looks at him “He proposed. And I got scared and ran.” Hudson’s hand freezes above her back. 

“He… proposed?” Rain nods her head before resting it on Hudson’s shoulder. “That fucking asshole,” he mutters and stands up. Rain watches him take his phone out of his pocket. “What?” she wipes the tears off her cheek. He holds the phone to his ear and taps his foot impatiently. “I can’t believe you!” Hudson exclaims into the phone. “You know how I feel about her, and you tried to steal her away from me forever? Of course she told me, she came to me for comfort.” Rain stands slowly, not believing what she’s hearing. He still loves her? She can’t fathom it. He hurt her so badly how could he love her? She looks at him eyes wide in wait “Hudson?” she whispers. 

Hudson gets on one knee and says “Rain I know I hurt you and I was a shitty boyfriend but please will you give me another chance and be my wife? I promise I’ll be better and give you the life you deserve.” Just at that moment AJ bursts in and sees Hudson down on one knee and Rain with puffy eyes and a tear stained face.

“Hudson what the fuck?!” AJ screams “She’s mine, what is wrong with you?!” AJ grabs Rain’s wrist and tries to pull her out of there, but Rain resists.

She says “Both of you stop it right now or else!” Hudson and AJ stop in their tracks, they know what Rain is capable of. 

“Hudson how will you be a better husband than AJ?” Rain asks

“I won’t hurt you and I’ll buy you stuff and fight for you. Rain I’ll protect you from people like him” Hudson points to AJ “Please girl will you marry me?” 

Rain nods her head in acknowledgement of Hudson's sentiment and moves on to AJ. 

“AJ tell me why you can be a better husband than Hudson” Rain insists. 

AJ stammers “What what um uh I will love you forever and I’ll be sweet and caring and a good provider and um well I just I love you so much and I’m sorry for that over the top proposal please marry me Marshmallow I love you.” Rain stops in her tracks. Marshmallow is his pet name for her that makes her heart melt. Rain realized at this moment that she was being foolish and AJ was the one.

“Yes baby I’ll marry you.” Rain says with a smile and a hushed voice. They say their goodbyes to a torn apart Hudson and make their way to their little black prius with their hands interlocked and their hearts the same. 

December 26, 2020 04:41

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

1 comment

Saizen 🦜
23:11 Dec 31, 2020

Hey, I'm paired with you for the critique circle. Before I start, I'd like to ask if you're okay with more in depth and potentially harsh critique or you'd like to have a simple one? Moreover, I'd like to know your thoughts behind creating this story!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.