The Longhorn Racher and The Wannabe Anti-Hero... and her Girlfriend

      “That’s the thing about this city, always some big superhero fight happening at SEVEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING!” Raquel shouted as a giant bird creature collided with the building across the street.

           People were screaming, running, trying to get away. Cars either stopped, crashed into one another, or somehow got onto another street. But Raquel and Eriko were not fazed by the wave of people trying to get away from the creature. “No need to be so loud,” Eriko sighed, rubbing her temples.

           “So close. So damn close without another fucking supervillain decided to destroy half the city today,” Raquel complained. The two teenagers simply walked forwards, against the stream of people trying to push past them. “Six blocks,” Raquel continued, “just six blocks…”

           Eriko glanced at Raquel. “Did you do the homework?”

           “We had homework?”

           “Yeah? For Mr- hold on. Debris,” she warned.

           The two girls stopped as a piece of building fell into the concrete in front of them. Eriko dusted off her polo and skirt while Raquel shook the dust off her brown hair like a dog. They simply stepped around the debris and continued on their way to school.

           Raquel gripped Eriko’s hand and slowed their pace a little. “Maybe they’ll destroy the school by the time we get there!”

           “Knowing this city that’s not going to happen,” Eriko said bluntly, “they never close for anything.”

           The pale girl sighed but kept walking, Eriko not letting go of Raquel’s hand as they continued their journey to school. The two of them tried to stay out of the way of the fight going on in the street. And then they see him. A man in navy chaps and a similar colored long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His shirt had a big lone white star on it, but the star also kinda looked like it had horns coming out of it. A white cowboy hat covered his eyes and there was a lasso in his hands. They could hear his spurs jingle as they saw him jump on top of a car.

            “Am I supposed to act surprised?” Raquel asked.

“We see him almost every day. It’s nothing new, frankly,” Eriko agreed.

That man was called The Longhorn Rancher. Some say he came from a line of longhorn ranchers in Texas, freed slaves who became cowboys and were skilled beyond what many thought was possible. Raquel kinda believed it. Eriko did not, except the Texas bit.

The superhero threw his lasso around the car beneath him, and the girls watched as it came to life. The red Toyota reared back like a horse and zoomed off into the street, controlled only by The Longhorn Rancher. But the girls were not impressed. “It would be funny if it was a Mustang,” Raquel mused.

The two kept going, hand in hand, and for a few minutes’ things seemed to be looking up, to Raquel’s chagrin. The fight was going away from their school, moving towards the downtown area. They wondered if the fight would make it that far. It might have, there was a faint boom behind them.

           “Oh, it’s you!”

           Eriko stopped, forcing Raquel to stop with her. The girl looked around until she spotted a boy in a blue t-shirt and jeans sitting on the hood of a car. “Good morning Michael,” Eriko said as they approached, “Where’s your mom?”

           “Ran off with my sister when the fight broke out. Gonna wait here ‘til she comes back,” he stated as if it were a fact.

           There was another faint boom in the distance and Eriko squeezed Raquel’s hand. Raquel sighed through her nose and squeezed back. “You can come with us,” she offered, “You can call your mom there and I can give you a piggyback ride.”

           “I’m not seven,” Michael spat. He paused for a second and looked behind him. “But sure.”

           He slid off the roof of the car and walked on Eriko’s left side. “Who’s she?” He gestured to Raquel.

           “Her knight in shining-”

           “My girlfriend,” Eriko corrected.

           Raquel, with a smirk on her face, gestured to Michael. “Who’s he? Your sidekick?”

           “We live in the same building. Why? Is that a problem?”

           “No. Just never met any kids from your building is all,” Raquel answered.

           “I’m not a kid, I’m twelve,” Michael argued.

           The older girl rolled her eyes and led the way. “Yeah yeah, sure you- watch out kid!”

           Raquel flung Eriko against the side of a building and picked up Michael before he was squashed by a flailing… football player?

           “Put me down!”

           “Raquel what the hell?”

           Raquel ignored their angry snarls and was transfixed by the football player before her. He was wearing a red and white football uniform, though his number was blocked by a piece of paper taped onto said uniform. The helmet had no logo or anything, just a plain red helmet with two white stripes running along the top.

           Michael managed to wiggle out of Raquel’s grip and looked at the football player. “Oh great, now everyone’s gonna be wearing football helmets! Remember the time with the hoodies?”

           Yeah, Raquel remembered. This poor shmo was The Longhorn Ranger’s sidekick, she guessed he didn’t have an outfit yet because he showed up in normal everyday clothes. He wore a hoodie once and for a while everyone was too... in the middle of summer.

           Eriko punched her girlfriend in the shoulder. “Did you hear me? Raquel what the fu- is that guy from our school?”

           The three youths looked at the football player, laying limp in the now dented asphalt. Raquel slapped her palms together and had a smirk on her face. “I’m taking off his helmet.”

           “No, wait,” the football player croaked, his voice was low. Baritone. The girls only knew one person who had that kind of low melodic voice. The football player got up and leaped back into the air, the piece of paper falling off his uniform. The number ‘17’ in white sticking out against the red.

           “Oh crap.” Raquel’s eyes went wide. “That’s Matthew Derringer.”

           Michael looked confused. “Who?”

           “Hold on, it might not be-” Eriko started, the heard a shout in the distance. A deep sound that, even she had to admit, made her flush. “Okay that’s Matthew Derringer,” she concurred.

           “Who’s Matthew Derringer?”

           “None of your business,” Raquel spat.

           Eriko forcefully gripped her girlfriend’s hand. “Leave him alone,” she growled, “come on.”

           The three of them kept walking, Eriko talking to Michael while Raquel remained silent. She slipped out of Eriko’s grip and dragged a few paces behind. There were more crashes, the distant sounds of people, a screeched that sounded like it belonged to a dinosaur.

           CAW!

           BOOM!

           The bird creature was slammed into the pavement with such force that the teens slipped back a few feet. Eriko nudged Michael forwards. “Run!” But as she reached for Raquel, she couldn’t feel the familiar warmth of her hand.

The Longhorn Rancher came rushing up to the creature, getting a punch in before wrapping the creature in his lasso. There was more cawing from the creature as he began to spin the around, becoming nothing but a blur.

Snapping around, Eriko saw Raquel standing there with her left arm outstretched to her side. She balled one of her hands into a fist and gripped Raquel’s forearm with the other. “What do you think you’re doing!”

“Ow! Babe not so hard-”

“Good! Maybe I’ll pull it out myself! You want to get it off so badly, right? Here!”

“OW! Damnit, stop!”

With a forceful tug, Eriko got the slightly taller girl out of the way before the bird creature was flung into the glass behind them. “You’re seventeen! You need that arm!”

           “How am I supposed to become an anti-hero with two arms? I need a tragic backstory as to why I lost my arm! Eriko you know this-”

           Raquel was pushed against the side of the store, her back against the cold glass. Eriko looking directly into her grey eyes sent a shiver down her spine. “You’re not losing your arm. Not today. Not ever,” she scolded, her voice steady and determined, “I’m not going to let you do this to yourself just for some fantasy you made up in your head!

           “And you know what else?” she continued, “The Longhorn Ranger would probably move you out of the way before anything could get the chance to rip off your arm. It’s a stupid idea to go wherever he is in hopes that if you stand around long enough, you’ll lose your arm! Besides you don’t get to choose your own backstory.”

           The city seemed to still. A faint breeze nudged Eriko’s black hair, but her eyes stayed focused on Raquel. For a moment it was just the two of them, and Raquel felt like shit.

“Y’all shouldn’t be out- oh. It’s you again.” They looked to their left to see the superhero himself coming out of the newly destroyed store and Matthew Derringer from earlier go inside with handcuffs. The Longhorn Rancher approached the girls, or Raquel specifically, and he took off his hat only for them to see a mask in the shape of a cattle skull underneath. “You’re still tryin’ to get your arm ripped off?” He asked Raquel.       

She nodded and Eriko shot her a look that screamed What did I just say? “Well then,” said the southern superhero, “You want to build yourself an arm so bad? Why not become an engineer, or somthin’? Put those tech savvy hands to good use.”

“I’ll think about it,” Raquel said, but her words were hollow.

The man put a hand to his mask and shook his head. “Just sayin’. You could do some good, instead of being so stupid.”

“My girlfriend is right there-” Raquel began before getting jabbed in the ribs by Eriko.

“No, scold her more. Let her know how stupid she is.”

The hero froze and looked at Eriko who looked back at him. He mumbled something, looked between the two of them, and blurted out, “Don’t get pregnant.”

Matthew Derringer, still in his football uniform, was dragging the bird creature away from the wreckage. He saw them and half waved before The Longhorn Ranger came over and lifted the creature with ease, grey feathers falling onto the ground.

As they walked away Michael came running from around a corner. “I think that’s a different bird guy.”

Raquel stared at the kid like he had a third eye. “There’s two bird guys?”

“We don’t have time for this, I have to be in AP in ten minutes,” Eriko groaned.

Michael went on ahead, talking about how the last bird guy had red and purple feathers while this one was just grey. Eriko and Raquel weren’t really listening, they walked behind him as the people started coming out of their hiding spots to check the damage. They moved side by side, not touching and staying silent.

“You’re right,” Raquel admitted, “it’s a dumb fantasy. I’ll stop.”

“Good,” Eriko answered a little too quickly, “I mean, I’m glad you decided to stop. I don’t want a wife with only one arm. You need at least two for spooning.”

“Yeah I- wait a minute who said anything about marriage!”

Eriko slipped her hand into Raquel’s just like it always had. The people around them went back onto the sidewalks and into their cars. Life began just as quickly as it had stopped. That’s the thing about this city, sure there’s a southern superhero with his high school football player sidekick. But there’s also Raquel, who might be a dumbass with no sense of danger. But Eriko was fine with all that, the superhero, the sidekick, the property damaging fights happening at seven a.m., and her dumbass girlfriend.