(Content Warning: violence, and a lot of insanity)
I can’t believe I’m finally ready to tell Doctor Regal my deepest darkest secret. I tap my toes impatiently inside my brown Kingston shoes and twiddle my fingers. Maybe I should have gone with the black ones instead. I think they would have matched my brown skirt a lot better. My belt is black, so black shoes would have been the better choice.
Why did I choose the brown shoes? Damn this indecisiveness!
I’ll just have to accept the fact that I look tacky today. At least my shirt is perfect. It’s a wrinkle-resistant white dress shirt, that just goes with everything I wear. That choice was easy. It only took me thirty minutes this morning to pick it out. I’m so proud of myself. I know Doctor Regal will be proud of my progress too. I can’t wait to tell him all about it.
My eyes dart from object to object in his office, and I notice that everything is in perfect order. The pictures on the walls are perfectly straight and level. The carpet looks like it was just vacuumed, and the books on his bookshelf have a nice flow to them. Heck, even this couch feels perfect. Not as good as my ergonomic couch at home, but let’s face it, no one’s perfect. What really captures my attention is that everything on his desk has its place, and I like that. Oh yes, I like that very much.
Without order there is chaos, and chaos is never a good thing!
I reach up to adjust my glasses, and I simply can’t help myself not to check my dark brown hair. It must be perfect. I didn’t spend an hour shampooing this hair for nothing. I glance at my phone to check the time, and then I look at the old grandfather clock in the corner to make sure my clock is right. He’s late, and I don’t like that. Oh, I don’t like that at all.
Punctuality is very important and without it, there is chaos.
Without warning I hear the door open behind me and I pinch my lips together - no - I smile warmly. Yes, yes that’s better.
“Hello Cassandra, how are you doing this fine morning?”
I should say that I’m fine, that’s always a good reply. “I'm doing really well, Doctor Regal!”
He walks over to me with a soft warm smile. “That’s good to hear.”
I watch as he sits behind his perfect desk, his eyes never leaving mine. He pulls out a yellow notepad and a fancy black pen. This is his normal routine. I didn’t like it at first, but I’ve gotten used to it.
Doctor Regal pulls his thick oval shaped glasses down to the bridge of his nose and looks at me with big blue bug eyes. With his white hair and wrinkly face, I sometimes wonder if he is trying to make me laugh.
I sit up like a board and I feel my eyes sparkle. “I have good news,” I say, searching for the right words. “I think… I’m certain… I know, I just made a big breakthrough!”
“That’s good, Cassandra!” he says, while writing some notes. “Would you like to talk about that breakthrough and how it made you feel?”
I shake my head no, and utter, “Yes, yes, yes, I want to tell you everything!”
Doctor Regal chuckles. “Ok, that’s wonderful. Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
My eyes snap open with excitement like a wild beast tearing apart a criminal limb from limb. I sit up straight on the couch and clear my throat with a loud gargle. Thick phlegm shoots up into my mouth and I start to dry heave like a hellhound choking on a bone. I reach down for a glass of water that is always ready for me every time I visit. The cool crisp water soothes my throat and I feel refreshed, like a soul sucking demon who just swallowed a soul.
“My goodness! Are you alright?”
“I’m fine Doctor Regal,” I say, getting it right this time. “I’ll start now…”
Here goes, I'm sure Doctor Roberts is going to be impressed!
"Just yesterday, the mailman came to my front door to deliver a package. I was expecting a new set of knives. Anyway, I told him before - no, no - I asked him before if he could put my packages in a plastic bag, so I wouldn’t have to worry about getting that damn 19-covid thing that's going around."
I stop to clear my throat again.
"So, there he stood with my package NOT in a plastic bag. I couldn’t believe it. No, I could believe it. He is stupid, or smart, I’m not sure which. Anyway, he asked me if he could use my bathroom. I thought about it for a few minutes, and I told him he could as long as he lifted the toilet seat. My toilet seat is very, very squeaky, and I did not hear him lift it. I heard him peeing and the toilet flush, but not the seat."
I wrinkle my face.
"I could feel anger boiling deep inside of me, kind of like when a person gets mad just before turning into a werewolf. Yeah, like that!"
I open my eyes wide.
"That’s when the breakthrough happened. I didn’t even have to think about what I was going to do. No... what I wanted to do! I tore open the package and pulled out the biggest knife in the set. As soon as he opened the bathroom door, I slashed his throat which caught him by surprise. I could tell it did because of the way his eyes rolled back into his head."
I scrunch my face.
"I wasn’t expecting his blood to squirt on me like that. When I felt the warm thick liquid spray my face, I screamed."
I open my eyes wide again.
"Ewwwweeeewwwee, it’s on my skin!!!"
I give a half smile.
"I ran over to the kitchen sink and splashed water on my face to wash off that red goo. I washed and washed, even as the mailman fell to the floor with a loud thud. I can tell you one thing, blood doesn’t wash off very easily."
I ruffle my forehead.
"After several minutes, I managed to wrap his body in plastic wrap and rolled him up in my area rug. I asked Travis, my next-door neighbor, if he could toss it in the dumpster for me, and he did. He said it was the heaviest rug he had ever lifted, which made me smile."
I look at Doctor Regal and smile ear to ear.
"That breakthrough felt amazing! I mean, I didn’t have any trouble making my mind up. I was precise and deliberate in my thinking."
I feel so good, for getting that off my chest!
“So, what do you think, Doctor Regal?” I ask, looking at him with a big smile. “That’s really good progress, right?”
I watch him crease his forehead and I swear he looks confused.
After a moment of silence, he babbles, “Cassandra, if what you say is true… then you just committed murder. You suffer from Aboulomania, which is a mental disorder in which patient’s display pathological indecisiveness. To put this in simpler terms, the patients have a hard time making up their minds.”
He stares at me through steely eyes to make sure I’m paying attention, which I am…
Then he continues, “This disorder can be severe. In fact, it is typically associated with anxiety, stress, depression, and mental torment. Sometimes it can affect the patient's ability to function properly in society.”
My hands start shaking and I can feel butterflies in my stomach. I can’t believe what he is saying to me. Why would he say this to me? I had a breakthrough. He should be jumping up and down in excitement. After years of coming here, he should know how important this is to me.
“Are you still with me, Cassandra?”
I hear him, but his voice is foggy in my mind. My head starts trembling to match my hands. The room is spinning like a twister sweeping Dorothy away to the Wizard of Oz. I can’t think about this too hard, because I might lose the breakthrough I worked so hard to achieve.
I must act…
“I’m still with you, Doctor Regal,” I say standing up.
I walk over to his desk and snatch his fancy looking black pen. He looks at me with a puzzled look almost like when someone takes a toy away from a child. You know that look I’m talking about!
“Oh, I’m still here!” I shout. “Too bad you won’t be here anymore!!”
I jump across his desk like an Olympic athlete and stab the pen right through his glasses which then pierces his eyeball. Blood squirts on my face making me shove the pen deeper into his cranium.
More blood sprays my face like a water fountain...no… a sprinkler, yes, a sprinkler. I shove the pen down harder, but Doctor Regal is still squirming. I had enough of this!
While straddling him, I reach up with one hand and grab one of his thick psychology books from the nearby bookshelf. I hold the pen with my other hand and drive the book down like a hammer hitting a nail. That did the job! His body starts twitching like he had just been electrocuted.
I rise from his lifeless corpse and you know what? The blood doesn’t bother me anymore. This is another breakthrough!!
I no longer fear chaos.
I welcome chaos.
I am chaos!!!
Daniel R. Hayes
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I really enjoyed the story. Your descriptions are amazing and I really liked the first-person perspective.
Thank you, I'm so glad you liked this story. :)
ooh- quite gory! I loved the roller coaster this story took me on. Well done.
I'm glad you liked this one. It was crazy for sure, but I had a fun time writing it :) Thank you!!!
Daniel, I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry about that. With that said, I'm stunned. Like, wow. WOW. I could literally feel the insanity from the repetition you used in between lines. The "Oh, yes" es and the smiling... Woah, this was creepy. The most intriguing thing is how you were able to portray so much imagery in her dialogue. You're a genius! I guess it's safe to say that the doctor lived a good life(not too sure about that mailman though). Despite me being SHOOK and shocked, you did an exemplary job! Sincerely, Ruthy_May
Hi Ruthy, No need to apologize, my stories will always be here when you have time to read them :) I really appreciate you taking the time to do so. It really means a lot. Yeah, this story was crazy and I have no idea where it came from, but I do like how it turned out. It's probably the most vivid horror story that I've written. Thank you so much for reading, and those amazing comments!! :)
It's an absolute pleasure!
Hooked from the first sentence. I particularly love Cassandra’s glee at each ‘breakthrough’. And the fact that even though she’s just committed murder, her overriding concern is that her shoes don’t match her dress. What a great character! (Although probably not one I’d like to meet in real life).
Hi, I'm so glad you liked this story. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it, and for those wonderful comments. I agree I wouldn't want to run into her in real life... lol :)
I liked this a lot though i was expecting some resistance or like the police chasing him or something it kinda left me on a cliff hanger on what happened to him but i enjoyed it a lot
Thanks a lot for those comments!! A lot of my endings are open ended, but I get what you mean ;) Thank you!!
Np although dang i need a part 2
That could happen, I've written some sequels before... lol :) With this story there are a lot of things that could happen moving forward...
Wow, so this is the second story I've read and it is was just as intense as the first (the Gravekeeper) only in a psychologically twisted manner!! I really loved the POV, hearing the nuance of every detail Cassandra was noticing. I almost felt bad for her, but soon realized we have a big problem brewing here lol! Another great read!
Hi Cole, Thank you so much!! Those comments really made my day!! I'm so glad you liked the story, because I don't even know where the idea came from. I wrote this in one sitting, and I'm glad that you thought it was good :) I'll be reading some of your stories later tonight, I'll comment once I do, THANK YOU! :)
I like the first person perspective and the present tense, it gives the story a great energy. That first 'breakthrough' took me by surprise, I thought she was going to talk about her clothes! Be careful with your quotation marks - if a character talks for a long time over paragraphs, you should start each paragraph with a quotation mark, to remind the reader that she's still talking. Great story!
Thank you. I'm so glad you liked the story. I wrote this one so fast, I didn't really do any editing, so I went back and made a few changes. ;) I wasn't going to write another story, but I ended up doing another one anyway :)
Did you just add in those little sentences like "I scrunch my face" to break up the monologue? I like that :-)
Yeah, I thought that would work. This was a short story, so I could add a lot more, but I'm not sure I have the time right now... lol. Thanks again!!
This is amazing and so vivid!! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time!! Great job!!
Thank you so much Mia, I'm glad you liked this one. It's a crazy story for sure :)
You just made a scary and thrilling fiction amazing! Definitely worth the insanity part. I didn't expect the end to be like this. I'd say though that the doctor didn't play his part well. He acted way too calm, even if you might say that that'd be ruining her happy mood (and that it's going to unhealthy for her mentally). Maybe that's how psychologists are, but he's a human, and there should have been signs of jittering. Even I'd be freaked out, lol. Also, there were some simile-like descriptions you made that didn't quite go well. I thi...
Hi there, thank you for all of those suggestions. I really appreciate them. I know my stories may not be for everyone, but I like to write them :) I always put "The End" and my name at the end of every story. It's like my calling card :) :)
You're super welcome!!! So very true. But this one was definitely for me! I enjoyed reading it. Oh, lol. That's very nice. I never knew 'the end' had different meanings.
Yeah, IDK I just like putting that at the end of every story. No one else does it... lol :)
Lol, I guess that's your signature as you've said! I put a copyright in mine. You're not alone, lol.
Lol... I know I noticed that. I know we don't have to do that, but hey, that makes us unique right? :)
OKAY, I GUESS YOU TOOK A DARKER ROUTE XD The gore made me cringe. Buuuut in a good way. It was so vividly described... *shivers* I loved how you incorporated the indecisiveness for this prompt. Super original, very interesting. I didn't LOVE how that whole monologue about how Cassandra killed the mailman was in italics, though. And I feel like the Doctor would've reacted more strongly to a confession of murder? Those are all my critiques, though. A very well paced, interesting story. Good job!
Hi Monica, thank you so much for the great comments. I'm so glad you liked it. Yeah, this was a little more graphic than some of my other stories. Thanks again. :)
This was great! You made a story of serial murder so much fun to read. I was thinking at the end you were going to have the narrator ruminate on their clothing choices one more time to bring it full circle, but you're ending worked great with the accepting of chaos angle. Quite a breakthrough indeed. I enjoyed this!
Hi Reese, thank you so much for those wonderful comments! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. That was a good idea about the clothes, I didn't even think about that. Thanks again!! :)
So basically, I still don't know what to say. I especially like stories written in the present tense, something that shows readers certain things about the protagonist. This one hit the mark. I like the thrill of the wait; of holding my breath as she talked about her breakthrough. I admit that at first, I thought the move from the indecisive character to the swift one was too soon. But reading it a second time just makes it feel right. This is quite different from your usual stories and I'm wondering why you took the turn. But, in any case,...
Thank you so much, I really don't know where the idea for this one came from. I just started writing and to my surprise I was finished in no time. It is shorter than some of my other ones, but I think it's good. I'm glad you thought this one was different, and I'm really happy that you liked it! Thank you so much for the kind words! :)
Hi Daniel, Love this angle! What an interesting (and horrific) way to weave in themes of mental health. I didn’t even know aboulomania was a thing until I looked it up after reading your title! I loved how Cassandra seemed so sweet and excited all the while she was waiting to tell her doctor about the murder as her breakthrough...there’s something especially chilling when you're in the main character's POV and they don't quite comprehend their evil deeds... Honestly? I like this one, a lot! Her inner dialogue is so perfectly jumbled...
WOW, thank you so much Kelly!! I'm so glad you liked this story. I knew there was a disorder about this, but honestly I had to look it up too because I couldn't remember the name of it :) I have no idea where this one came from, but I'm glad I wrote it when it was fresh in my mind! I wrote it in one sitting ;) Thanks again for those wonderful comments, I really appreciate them, and they made my day :) :)
Holy flipping goodness. speechless THAT WAS REALLY UNEXPECTED. I kinda liked that she was jittery, but murderer?! Wow. Talk about plot twist. XD Crazy. You have some interesting ideas in the mind if yours, Daniel. One thing though. "Without warning I hear the door open behind me and I pinch my lips together - no - I smile warmly. Yes, yes that’s better." "Yes, yes that’s better. " Seems like it should be italicized. But other than that nothing immediately(grammar wise) jumped out at me. I tend to get absorbed in a really good story a...
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked this one, and I'll go and fix that ;) This one was a crazy one and I really don't know where the ideas come from. Thanks for reading it, and for the great comments! :)