Am I A Pyscho?

It is the type of coldness that reaches into my bones, as if my heart were a door left wide open to the icy wind, slamming only to open again. The only thing to do is keep moving, keep heading toward home if I only remembered. The sky is a rolling blanket of cloud, the color of wet ash, and the ground its dank reflection. Each step becomes a prayer for someplace safe as I walk, seeing the light from a faraway doorway in my flickering daydreams, letting it become more real than the stormy night.

My vision clouded and dull, as if a gray film had been dropped over my eyes. As I stared at the weathered asphalt under my feet, large, smooth rocks replaced the tiny stones. Something dark and oily seeped over the rocks, slipping through the crack. Blood all around. Tree. Forest. Death. 

Sucking in a sharp gasp, I blinked and the image was gone.

Hands trembling, I raised them. They were covered with dirt and scratches. My nails were broken, bloodied. A silver ring, encased in soil, wrapped around my thumb. Air froze in my chest as my gaze crawled over my arms. The sleeves of my sweater were torn, revealing pale flesh covered in bruises and gashes. My legs started to shake as I swayed forward. I tried to remember how this had happened, but my head was empty—a black void where nothing existed.

Death had to be better than this.

I had to find someplace safe and report the murder. I had to figure something out.

I was just a soul in the body of another person. I didn't remember who, what, where I was. I didn't remember my old life. I didn't know this person. 'She', I called her, wouldn't want this and so I made a promise to her.

I had to protect her. At all costs. It was the least I could do.

Marching through the night air was wicking my heat away faster than my body could replace it. The sound of thumping footsteps could be heard. I had to getaway. The blocks passed in a blur, no-one but I was out tonight. Just when I thought that all hope was lost, I bumped into something, or rather, someone.

He had the kind of face that stopped you in your tracks. I guess he must get used to that, the sudden pause in a person's natural expression when they looked his way followed by overcompensating with a nonchalant gaze and a weak smile. He had tousled dark brown hair, which was thick and lustrous. Eyes were a mesmerizing deep ocean blue, flecks of silvery light performed ballets throughout. His face was strong and defined, features molded from granite. He had dark eyebrows, which sloped downwards in a serious expression.

Wearing a pair of black jeans and a blue t-shirt which said ' Texas Pd '. He looked young for an officer, Being barely out of high school and able to carry a gun seemed wrong somehow. Was I in high school? I didn’t know. “Miss,” he said gently. “Are you okay?”

I tried to respond, but only a hoarse squeak came out. Clearing my throat, I winced as the motion scratched and pulled. “I … I don’t know.”

"Okay.” The cop held up his hands as he approached me as if I were a skittish deer about to bolt. “My name is Officer Dax. I will help you. Do you know what you’re doing out here?”

“No. Yes. There was a- I don't know.” Knots formed in my belly. I didn’t even know where here was.

His smile strained. “What’s your name?”

My name? Everyone knew their name, but as I stared at the deputy, I couldn’t answer his question. The knots started twisting more. “I don’t … I don’t know what my name is.”

He blinked, and the smile was completely gone. “You don’t remember anything?”

I tried again, concentrating on the space between my ears. That was how it felt. And I knew that wasn’t good. My eyes started to tear up.

“Miss, it’s okay. We’ll get you taken care of.” He reached out, lightly taking hold of my arm. “We’ll get this sorted.”

"Murder. There was a murder in the state forest. I don't remember. I-", I started going on, my heart palpitating.

"Miss, breathe in. State forest, you said. I just came from that area. I didn't see any evidence of a murder."

"You have to help me. You-"

"We will head over to the state and maybe you can guide me to the place if you remember that is. Do you?"

I looked at him. 

I shook my head and followed him to his car. The ride was spent in silence and tension. As soon as we reached the forest, I guided him to the place I remembered in my hazy vision, trying to recollect as much as I could.

There was only one thing going on in my mind. Murder. I didn't know who, why, or when. All I remembered was that someone died and I was with that person.

"Here!", I yelled, as soon as I spotted the cliff and trees.

But, there was no evidence of murder there. No body. No blood. No broken branches. No smell.

"But...but I am fairly certain that somebody died here and was planning to kill me too...I- you have to believe me. Please!"

"Miss, there is nothing here. Just bugs and trees. This forest isn't much large either. I doubt somebody could have died here. Plus, there are resorts on the other side too.", the officer said, moving forward towards me.

"No! It was here! I know. Somebody came here. I-", I started rubbing my palms against my hair and face.

"Miss, you just lost your memory. You are in a state of shock. There are bruises all over your body and you need to be in a hospital."

"I was not seeing things!! I know it happened. I don't know who died. I-", I stopped as soon I saw him calling for backup.

The words suspiciously sounded like, 'serious mental issues'.

There was a sick, twisted glint in my eyes. "I AM NOT CRAZY!! You have to believe me. Please!"

A surge of panic passed through me. Emotions. Anger. Pan. Sadness. Guilt. My mind was a mess, grabbing hold of all my darkest memories. It was getting too much to bear.

Few memories flooded back to me, but all I could hear was, 

"Crazy. She is a crazy girl."

"Her family must be so ashamed of her."

"What a disgrace."

Taunts, taunts, and even more taunts.

Stop!! The world around me turned gray as I punched the officer on his face and grabbed his gun which had fallen out of his belt, adrenaline rushing within me.

"Miss. I am going to have to ask you to drop the gun."

"I AM NOT CRAZY! I KNOW SOMEBODY WAS MURDERED HERE!! BELIEVE ME! Please.", I yelled.

Officer Dax gulped and said, "Miss, you are in a state of shock and are suffering from trauma, mental and physical. Drop the gun and we can take you somewhere safe. You are a threat to civilians in this situation."

One minute he was right near me, more alive than he had ever been, and the next he was meat on the floor. I had brought the gun in under her shirt, tucked into the back of my jeans.

His body lay like a ghoulish mannequin but that smell... That smell could only come from recently slaughtered animals. In this case, the animal was the officer and his corpse was still warm, the blood thickening but not yet dried on his waxy skin. This was murder all the way.

What had I done?!

I gasped as I heard police sirens. I was a murderer. I killed someone. I was a murderer. I...killed...someone...

I fell onto my knees as my eyes drooped, my body falling limp on the ground.

Once upon the shade in totality, I found it to be inclined to warmth now more than its outer coldness. Surprised but appreciative. My screams had reached its crescendo now. The viscous blood that must have been flowing beneath me, providing the strange warmth. Perhaps my own blood escaping my grazed knees may intermingle with it.

The last thing I remembered was looking at a pair of deep ocean blue with flecks of silver.

"I am sorry."