Oblivion

Darci hated walking home alone. There was always a heavy weight of loneliness mixed with the feeling of someone else’s presence. She knew she was alone, but she could never fully convince herself that was the case. It was dark, and she was tired. She didn’t have her license yet nor nearly enough money saved for a car. She had been working late into the night, always managing to clock out just a few minutes too late to catch the last bus. Her feet dragged on the concrete, her shoelace nearly coming undone but still hanging on. She had her apron bunched up in a ball and tucked tightly underneath her arm. There were no stars, only black. The only light remaining was the dim glow of her phone as she checked the time again. She knew she was close to home; she had been taking this route for nearly three months now. But every night, it seemed longer. Her body ached. She could feel the soreness in the soles of her feet and her ankles, the slow creep of pain spreading up her legs and through her chest.

        Living was pain, at least in the life she had now. Dad would yell at her for being late again. He always waits up for her after work, but she knew it was an excuse to crack open a few more Millers. She used to be happy. Things hadn’t always been so bleak. She remembered the smell of cut grass underneath her feet and the soft push on her back as she lunged forward on the swing set. How her face used to hurt from smiling so widely and the deep laughs creeping up from the pit of her stomach. The fire-pits and melting marshmallows, sandwiched between the perfect amount of chocolate and graham cracker. Her favorite thing was learning about the constellations, her mom pointing out the different stars. She learned how the little dipper’s handle pointed down, while the big dipper’s pointed up. Her mom’s favorite was Orion, but she preferred to look at the stars as individuals rather than a collective. Darci loved Polaris. It was the one she could always find, and it was always there, shining brightly and beautifully. But as time passed and the memories started to fade, reality set in.

Her mom had left. She had never understood why, but she couldn’t help but place the blame on herself. One morning she woke up and there wasn’t a trace of her left. It was like she’d never existed. There wasn’t a note. She’d never written any letters. All of her things were gone, even the photos of her. Darci used to think that was the day her dad broke, but she realized that he had been broken long before then.

        She could see her breath fade away into the cold night, mixing with the blackness of the sky. There was something unsettling about the whole thing, like pieces of her were slowly dwindling away with each breath. She felt like she lost more of herself as the days passed. A crunch of leaves alerted her as she snapped her head to the side to check her surroundings. It was difficult to see clearly. Her vision felt fuzzy as she tried to peer through the thick ink of the night. Walking a few more steps, she nearly tripped. Her shoelace had finally come undone. She bent over to tie it, staring at the worn fabric of her cheap canvas shoes. Her toes were cold, as was the rest of her, so she quickly tied it and picked herself back up. She felt someone was watching her, as she always did, but this time was different. This time she knew. Her breathing accelerated as she scanned the dark road ahead and the blackness behind her. It’s nothing. It’s fine. She attempted to reassure herself, but somehow, she knew it wasn’t.

        “I’ll take it all away.” The deep voice of a man echoed in her mind. It was completely unfamiliar, and so clear she couldn’t have mistaken it. By this time, she was panting. Her pace quickened and then turned into a full-blown run. The cold air was whipping across her face, her hair dancing wildly behind her.

         “Running won’t change this.” Again. This voice wasn’t malicious, what scared her was the calmness. This voice was not hers. Tears were streaming down her face. She knew.

        And just like that, a sharp snap resonated through the blackness. She felt pain for a brief moment, then collapsed onto the cold ground, her eyes shutting slowly as the rest of her faded into the night.

_______

        It was cold. Out of the few things Nolan remembered about that night, the weather always stood out first. He slowly lifted up the window screen, attempting to be as quiet as possible. It was late, he remembered that too. His parents were finally asleep, meaning he could sneak out and smoke the little bit of weed he had left. He didn’t really like drugs. He didn’t know why he did them, but he did. There was a half empty carton of cigarettes in his breast pocket. He didn’t like those either. Softly shutting the screen behind him, he could feel the weight of his small Bic lighter dangling in his pocket. It was dark blue, a color he felt pretty indifferent about. But he felt indifferent about most things. Sliding carefully down the tiles of the roof, he shimmied to the edge and down the trellis. His mom had fallen asleep on the couch, and he didn’t want to test the unpredictable creaks of the floorboards and heaviness of the front door.

        They had a nice house. It was big, and full of rooms they didn’t need. People always told him how lucky he was, but to him it all felt too empty. He liked how cold the air felt against his cheeks, it made him feel awake after trudging sleepily through most of the day. He hit the ground softy, landing on all fours perfectly like a cat. He was precise with his movements, swift and cautious. The grass folded beneath his weight as he pushed himself back onto his feet, dusting the dirt from his palms. Grabbing his bike from their unusually tidy garage, he pedaled off into the darkness.

        He liked smoking near the bridge on route 8 because he could see the stars clearly as they reflected off the river. Tonight, however, there were no stars. A shame, he thought. He didn’t smoke very often, contrary to what the kids at school thought, maybe once or twice a month. He’d been labeled the school’s pothead, largely due to the way he carried himself. He didn’t care about much, especially his image, and didn’t put much effort into school. He had been scolded by his parents for this multiple times. With his dad in the running for mayor, and his mom being the head of nearly every town organization, his family name was well known. He knew he was a disappointment; he just couldn’t bring himself to care.

        It’s not like he didn’t want to try, more so he was scared to. Why bother trying to live up to high expectations when he knew he would fail? He was good at disappointing people, so he stuck with that. He leaned his back against the cold concrete of the bridge, facing out towards the river. Reaching in his left pocket, he felt the thin plastic of a Ziploc bag and the familiar shape of his lighter. He breathed in slowly, sparking the lighter and watching it come to life. He felt the calmness spread over him as he looked at the night sky. It was all so black. He kept thinking about much he missed the stars.

        After smoking the rest of what he had, he finished it off with a cigarette. Nolan especially hated cigarettes. But for some reason he felt like his ritual wasn’t complete without smoking one. He was glad that he could take his mind off of things, even if it was only for a short while. He liked escaping from his reality. Watching the ash fall onto the ground, he chucked the half-smoked cigarette into the river. He never finished them. It made him feel like he had some control. Dusting his hands against his pants, he looked at the sky once more before standing, but something caught his eye.

        He saw movement a little ways past the bridge. A girl, walking slowly towards him. He peered over the side of the support beam. It was dark, she probably couldn’t see him. He smelled like weed and cigarettes and it was late. He stayed hidden, like a stranger in the night. He recognized her. Darci Myers, a girl from his high school. She was in his class, actually, although they had never spoken. Why was she out so late? She was walking on a completely deserted road in the dark. He wondered how she was so calm in the complete blackness of the night. She seemed comfortable with being alone, a blank stare on her face as she trudged along. She kept checking her phone then letting her arm fall back down to her side. As she got closer, he shuffled to move back behind the beam to stay hidden. The leaves crunched underneath him, but he wasn’t sure if she had heard it.

        She was right underneath the bridge now, walking quickly and quietly. He could tell her pace had quickened a bit; she must’ve heard. He felt like a complete creep, but he wasn’t there to cause her any harm. He merely wanted to be alone and enjoy the night. She stopped for a moment after passing through the bridge, looking around, tying her shoe, and then continuing on. He could sense the panic radiating off her, and felt bad for startling her. He repositioned himself to look back at the river, but redirected his attention when he heard heavy footsteps, quicker than before. She was running now. Full on sprinting. Now he felt really bad, he must’ve scared her. Apparently, the body can sense when its being looked at, even if it’s not directly.

        He watched her fade into the distance as he let his guilt fade, knowing she would get home safely. He nearly turned his attention back to the still water, before catching the sharp turn of her neck out of the corner of his eye. He could hear the crack of her bones as she tumbled to the ground. There was no one with her. It was so quick, it almost seemed like the force of the wind snapped her neck. And then a deep voice made him jolt.

        “You.” It spoke, and then faded just as quickly.

        His heart was racing now. What had he just witnessed? He rubbed his eyes and slapped his face a few times before jumping up from the ground and sprinting over to her. But he couldn’t see a body. He couldn’t see anything besides the darkness of the night. He was sure he saw her here, was he going insane? It could be the weed, but he had smoked several times before this, and nothing even close to this had happened. It wasn’t a hallucinatory drug; he had never seen things that weren’t there. And the voice, the sound of the bones and the thump of her body. He had heard it all. He had seen it.

        Blood was coursing through him, thumping in his ears. He looked around, maybe someone was hiding. But there was no sign of anyone being there. It was all so open, there was nowhere to hide. There was no sign of Darci. Not even in the distance. He couldn’t call the police. He had been smoking, and what would he tell them? That something invisible snapped her neck? What would he show them? There was nothing here. He looked down, and locked his eyes on something sparkly. A barrette. It must have fallen loose from her hair after she started running. He remembered it all clearly. She was walking, she stopped under the bridge, then she was running, and crack.

        He was breathing heavy now. After pocketing the barrette, he jumped on his bike and pedaled home quickly. Fuck the window, he thought, throwing his bike in the yard and stumbling up the front stairs. He pressed down on the handle of the door, it was unlocked. Trampling inside, he shut it behind him. His cheeks were red, so were his eyes. His heart was still racing. His mom was still sleeping soundly on the couch. How long had it been, an hour? Two? He couldn’t think clearly, the night’s events playing over and over in his head. He rushed upstairs, shutting the window and blocking out the breeze. His room felt like a fridge. Throwing on an old hoodie he jumped down on his bed, stuffing his face in a pillow. His heart wouldn’t stop thumping. That voice. What was that voice?

_______

        He must’ve fallen asleep eventually, because the loud ringing of his alarm nearly sent him into panic. He jolted up from bed, forgetting the previous night’s events for a split second before staring at the barrette on his nightstand. It hadn’t been a dream. Ruffling his hair a bit and throwing on some baggy clothing, he rushed downstairs. Regardless of what happened the night before, life was still going to continue.

        Stumbling into the kitchen, he could hear the TV blaring a weather report.

        “. . . And a high of 60 makes for another cool fall day. Make sure to grab a jacket on your way out the door. . .”

        His mom was sitting at the table, munching on a piece of toast with a glass of orange juice. She never ate much. She looked up from her phone as soon as she noticed him enter the room.

        “Oh, lord. . . honey. Were you up late again? You look awful,” she said in between a small bite of toast, followed by a sip of juice.

        Nolan grunted.

“Uh, yeah. Kinda,” he left it at that. She didn’t bother trying to get anything else from him, she never did. He wasn’t one for words and neither was she.

“Any bad news?” He inquired. With this, she set her phone on the table.

“Bad news? Besides the fact that winter is on the way, I’m not sure what you mean,” she looked confused. He shook his head.

“Never mind then,” he brushed it off with a wave of his hand, and with that he headed off to school.

He couldn’t focus on anything, not that he normally did anyways. Today was different though. He was trying hard not to forget a single detail of what he had witnessed. He assumed she hadn’t been reported missing yet. Otherwise, his mom would’ve made a huge deal about it. She led a search party for the neighbor’s dog. Nolan wondered how her family was feeling at the moment, probably terrified by the fact that she didn’t come home last night. He had a strong feeling of guilt, sitting in the pit of his stomach, hard and cold like a stone. And then, third period rolled around, the class he had with Darci.

He listened closely during roll call.

“Becca Manyet.”

“Here.”

Here it was, her name. He listened closely, preparing himself for the silence that would surely follow.

“Thomas Olsen.”

“Here.”

Shock rippled through him as he sprung up from his chair. Her name. They had skipped her name. How was this possible?

“Nolan, can I help you with something?” the teacher queried with a tone of dissatisfaction. He stuttered, attempting to form words, but nothing would come out. Instead, he sat down slowly and shut his eyes, fiddling with the barrette in his pocket. He could feel the stares on him. The teacher continued with roll. He felt a nudge in his side. It was Ethan, his only friend since grade school.

“You good man?” He whispered, “You look like shit.”

Nolan lifted his head off the desk, his eyes drooping from the lack of sleep but wide with fear and disbelief.

“Where’s Darci?” He asked frantically.

“Who the hell is Darci?” Ethan looked confused.

He felt sick. This wasn’t possible. He knew she was in this class. Ethan did a project with her just a few months prior and complained about how much of a try hard she was. The room was spinning, his heart was thumping.

Once again, he jumped up from his seat, but this time he walked out of the room, not looking behind him.

“Nolan!” He could hear the teacher yelling his name, but her voice was muffled by the pulse in his ears.

He ran, and ran, and ran. He didn’t stop until he reached route 8. Something was wrong. This was completely fucked up. He knew what he saw. He knew Darci was real. He heard the voice. The voice. He reached the bridge. Where it had all happened that night. He replayed the memories in his mind, collapsing on the concrete, huffing. He was clutching the barrette tightly. Then he heard it.

“You.” This time it was unmistakable. The voice rang in his head, rattling around in his skull, it was painfully loud. His hands shot up to his ears as he groaned in pain.

“You saw.” The voice continued, “but you don’t understand what I am.” His heart was racing faster than it ever had before, he was sure it would

burst in the moment.

        “I am the blackness of the night. I am the starless sky. I am oblivion.”

        Nolan shook with fear.

        “And I will take it all away.”

        He only felt the pain for a moment. Then it was calm.