“How are you?”
Sitting at the grass, enjoying the blue sky slowly turning orange, I turn my head at the familiar sound. In front of me, a man stands with a white short-sleeve shirt and khaki pants. Black rectangular-framed glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, covering his dark brown eyes.
I blink my eyes twice, making sure he is the same man that I know. “Kevin?”
The man flashes a wide smile. “You still remember me?”
“Of course!” I answer, still feeling surprised. I did wish to meet him, yet it never occurred to me that we could ever meet again.
“Here, flowers for you,” Kevin stretches his hand, putting a red-coloured bouquet in front of me, along with a white plastic bag.
“Oh, thank you! Rose? It doesn't match the vibe here, though,” I peek at the bouquet while gesturing him to sit in front of me.
“Whatever with vibes. I just know for sure that you'll like it,” Kevin answers as he crosses his legs to sit down beside me.
Beaming with joy, I nod at his statement. This behaviour of him never stops to make my heart flutter.
“You look the same as I last saw you,” Kevin states.
“Still pretty?” I jokingly ask as I put my palms under my chin, moving my fingers playfully to resemble the flower petals.
Kevin lets out a chuckle at my action. “Yeah, yeah.”
“You look different,” stopping my fingers from moving, I reply.
“Different like, how?” Kevin gets his face closer to mine.
“Like, these lines at the corner of your eyes weren't there last time,” I stretch my hands, trying to reach his facial features.
Kevin lets out a faint smile, moving his head backwards to avoid the touch of my hands. “Well, ten years have passed by.”
Understanding the uncomfortableness that the guy in front of me is feeling, I pull back my hand, suppressing the wish to caress his face.
Avoiding the awkward situation, Kevin grabs the plastic bag that he brought and takes out the two white-coloured cans. “Your favourite drink.”
My eyes widen at the familiar-looking logo pasted on the can. “You still remember.”
Kevin pops the can, letting the fizz out, “How can I forget when you always bought the same drink over and over again?”
“You'll drink it?” I ask while observing the man beside me.
“I have bought it, so might as well,” Kevin gulps the soft drink, letting my jaw drops in surprise by the action.
“I thought you hated this drink? Remember back then in high school?"
“That was then. At this time, I have grown quite a liking to this beverage,” Kevin excuses himself, then turns around and lets gas out from his mouth.
I mouth 'WOW' in silence as I watch Kevin pour the liquid and swallows the beverage once again. “Since when, though?”
“Since you were gone, I guess?” Kevin replies in a playful tone.
“Oh come on, I know you have already moved on,” I throw another question to corner him.
“No?” I could see Kevin avoids looking at me when he states his replies. The habit that he always does when he is lying.
I cross my arms, about to ask him to spill out his life story for the past ten years, when he pulls out a white envelope from the back pocket of his pants. “Anyway, I've got a letter for you,” Kevin stretches out, “From your parents.”
I nod my head a couple of times as I observe Kevin opening up the envelope, putting the piece of paper in front of me, ready to be read. “How are they?” I ask as I skim through the writing on the paper.
“Healthy and well. From time to time, I drop by your house and have a chat with them,” Kevin puts his left hand under his chin, waiting for me to finish reading the letter.
“Oh, that's good to hear. I feel better knowing that someone is caring for them in my stead,” I lift my head from the letter, looking at the guy in front of me once again.
“That's the least that I can do,” Kevin forces a smile.
“Is this the only letter for me?” I ask abruptly.
The guy in front of me is taken aback by my question. He opens his mouth, but he chooses to close it again. Instead, his hand reaches out to the white plastic bag, pulling out another envelope. This time, a golden-coloured one with his name embedded on the front.
Along with a girl’s name beside his.
“This is what you come here for, isn’t it?” I observe the decoration on the corner, as well as the heart ornament in between the two names.
“I’m sorry,” Kevin says in a soft voice. He averts his eyes from mine, and I could see that smile no longer exists in his face.
“Don’t be,” I shake my head, trying hard to push back the tears from falling. All the memories when I spent the time with him comes flooding back.
And silence falls between the two of us for a good few minutes. I am drowning in my thoughts, and so is Kevin.
Until a ringtone from Kevin’s phone breaks it.
Kevin answers the video call, displaying a girl in a red dotted dress on the screen. “Babe, I am here. Where are you?”
“Oh, I’m still inside,” Kevin replies. He glances at me, with a pained expression.
“Are you done? I am at the gate. Come on out please, this place is rather creepy,” the girl ends the call.
Kevin bits his lip as his phone screen turns black. “I feel bad about leaving you.”
“Go, Kevin. Be happy.”
---
“Babe!” the girl in the red dress waves her hands to Kevin.
Kevin turns around to look back at me. “Can I ever meet you again?”
“I don’t think you can. I am leaving. My wish has been fulfilled, after all.”
Kevin nods his head. “Move on, Bella. You deserve to be happy too.” Kevin gives me another smile before walking closer to the girl who is standing near the reddish brick gate.
From afar, I could see the girl wraps her fingers around Kevin’s arms.
From afar, I could see the diamond ring on her finger that shines brightly under the sun’s reflection.
From afar, I could see the two walk side by side, chatting at each other happily.
---
“Who did you meet, Babe?”
“My ex.”
The girl in the red dress frowns. “Here? What a weird place to talk with your ex.”
Kevin lets out a chuckle as the girl turns her head, looking around between the countless tombstones, trying to take a glance at his so-called ex.
“Don’t be jealous. She already died a long time ago.”
---
It was one Sunday evening when Kevin drove his father's car. We were eighteen, did not even have a driving licence, yet we courageously took off for our date.
The beautiful views on the way to the observatory on the mountaintop distracted our eyes from the road. But during one of the sharp turns, without quick reflex behind the wheel, our car skidded and fell off the cliff.
And I could remember the sunset that I watched with pain all over my body, up until the last moment I closed my eyes.
And today, under the same orange-coloured sky, after meeting the love of my life for the last time, my soul can finally rest.
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195 comments
Oh! That was a nice twist. I really enjoyed the story. Good job Deborah!
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Glad that you enjoyed it, Roshna! :D
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I loved the twist Deborah!really enjoyed your story
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Thank you for reading it, Vicky! Really appreciate it :)
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Wow! This is so good. I'm glad you invited me to read this. You've described everything so well. You story progresses in a very good pace, unfolding slowly and slowly like petals of a flower. And, then suddenly....BOOM. The beautiful end. Wow!
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Thank you for the review, Batool! Glad that you liked it! :D
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I wasn’t expecting that twist! A sad but sweet story. Loved it!
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Glad that you enjoyed the story! :)
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Wowwww, plot twist was effortless. :) great job!
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Glad that I can surprise people with the twist! Thank you for reading it :)
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I like a well done ghost story. This one, from the ghost's POV, works nicely. You have a number of small oddities in the grammar. I'm placing changes in all CAPS "I turn my head AT the familiar sound. In front of me, A MAN STANDS, WEARING a white short-sleeve shirt and khaki pants. BLACK rectangular-framed glasses sit on THE BRIDGE OF HIS NOSE, covering his dark brown eyes." That was the most troublesome passage because it has so many issues clumped together. Kevin sits on the grass, not grasses. A few other places that are eluding m...
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OMG, I am very happy to receive your feedback! Will not notice them by myself :O (I tried resting the piece for a day, but seems it is not enough!)
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Hello! You asked me to give feedback, so here I am! Great story! I really liked the twist, although it was pretty sad. I hate to say it, but the dialogue was a little stiff. Something I'd say to watch out for is to always use contraptions instead of two words. You do this a lot with don't but forget it in other areas. For example, when you write “That is the least that I can do,” I would write That's instead of that is. Write dialogue like you're imagining characters speaking. Read it aloud and see if it sounds like someone's actually talki...
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I got a background in writing journal articles (where you are not allowed to write in contraptions and it just becomes my habit now). But thank you for the feedback; will rewrite those parts :D
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Fantastic story.
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This is story is amazing, different that anything I've read. I really enjoyed it!!! I'll check out more if your stories when I have the time!
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Great story!
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I am in love with this piece! It stuns me even after I finished reading it. It felt like a punch in the gut to know that she was dead - a twist I didn't see coming. This story was just so vivid - and some authors struggle with that - so congratulations! Keep writing.
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I'm a little late to the table, but this story is amazing. I did not expect the ending at all, and the whole thing flowed smoothly. Very well done:)
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Thank you for reading it, Mackenzie! :D
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Interesting ending. The dialogue flows well.
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Thank you, Felicity! :D
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Your imagination and depth of understanding astounds and delights a reader like me.
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Is this the same story of (Pink)y Promise? It has Bella and Kevin. Except it’s AFTER they die? Please explain. Generally, you’r your writing is awesome as always! Loved it. Keep writing!!!
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Yes, Sarah. All of my submissions from "Orange-Coloured Sky" to "(Pink)y Promise" are connected :)
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Cool!
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Oh how I wish I had read this before the one you asked me to look at. Well done!
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Greatttt job!! Really love it :)
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This story was so good! I love how most of it was told from the perspective of his ex, it really cemented the twist at the end. You really don’t expect that she is dead. Great job! Will you read my new story and let me know what you think?
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Hi there, thank you for reading and liking the story! Sure, will read yours :)
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I read your newer piece first, "Red, Blue, White", and came searching for this one after reading through some of the comments on the other. I really love how the story expands in directions most wouldn't expect, and the personalities you've created within this universe.
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Glad that you enjoyed it, Janelle! :D
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Amazing. Loved the story!
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Thank you for reading!
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