EVANESCENT

Submitted into Contest #74 in response to: Write a story in the form of a top-ten list.... view prompt

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Fiction Romance Sad

One morning she woke up surrounded by butterflies and dazzling light. Her bed was surrounded by fragrant flowers. She was surprised and amazed at what she saw. In great panic, she could not stand. Suddenly, a big voice came and she was surprised. " Alexis ,welcome "

"Where am I, what place is this??" she asked with a mixture of nervousness.

"You are dead Alexis you are in heaven", the angel said.

" How ?and why?" she stammered.

"You run over by a car the night you were on your way home. They tried to take you to the hospital but you were later killed ." The angel said. Alexis suddenly woke up from lying down.

" I can't do much or I haven't even received my college degree which is one of my 10 lists before I die. My family still needs me." she begged. She wants to go back to the time she was still alive.

"I will grant your request but it will only fade away like a bubble on time." replied the man with a big voice.

Alexis was very happy and ask, "How long?"

" I will give you a life that will last for two months and then you will be deprived of life." Alexis was surprised because she only have two months. "What can I do for two months? I have not finished what is written on my list." "Do not worry, I will give you 10 gems that you will use in your 10 request whatever you wish you can achieve."

For that to happen, she will go back to the time of her accident. And everything that happened that day will happen again . Alexis goes back to the time when she was dying. Her mother was very anxious about that incident .

"Doc, please save my daughter." her mother said with pity.

At the same time the doctor who brought the bloody Alexis to the emergency room entered. The wailing of her mother and the people who love her aroused Alexis.

"This is a big miracle your child is alive !" the doctor stammered.

Her mother , father and friends were happy with the events they did not expect . Alexis woke up from her bed and burst into tears.

"Ma , Pa here I'm back , thank you and I came back ." she said with a smile. She couldn't believe it in those days even though she knew it was only for a moment . She still had a chance to make the 10 lists she wanted before she died . The ten gems given to her were equivalent to 10 requests it could stop the day , slow down or speed up the course of time but each gems fades and disappears suddenly. When it happens , it will expire . She have the gems and took one at the same time closed her eyes and asked to be taken to the day she will receive a college diploma as a bachelor of science in business administration and her wish came true .

Everyone was happy that day . Alexis was amazed her dress change , she had a diploma on her hand and her mother , father and youngest sister greeted her

"Sister, congratulations ! you've made it ."

"Alexis we are happy with you , we are proud of you " her mother and father said . "Thank you" Alexis replied.

At that moment, Alexis suddenly remembered that day was just a fake. She regretted because if she had not died,that incident would have been realistic. She would only take advantage of the opportunity given to her .The 2nd list she wanted,came to her mind, that is to have her own business the "Chocolate Business".

" Alexis,come with me on the disco bar. Let's have fun today!! " her friend invited. "OK, Diona game!! " Alexis went with her friends.

They had fun that night . Exchange jokes, toast, dance and they sang even when they are out of tune. The fun ended and they went home . Alexis fell several times due to drunkenness until she hit something hard but not steel . She opened her eyes again , she collided with a man's chest.

" Miss, you seem to have overdose on the drink !?! "said the man.

"Hey,what do you care? You are the one at fault you are not looking whenever you go!!" she shouted at the man and pushed him at the same time.

She got into the taxi ignoring the man. In an unexpected incident while the taxi driver was driving, Alexis disappeared. The driver was shocked by what he saw and run while shouting outside.

"A ghost !! , Ghost ! , help!! " The people in the road ignored the driver because there was no one in the taxi . The next morning , Alexis woke up and reached for the taxi door but she couldn't handle it , her hand just slipped through . In her shocked , she shouted and soon remembered that the gems she used was expired . This is what will happen to her every time her gems expired . She becomes a soul , she loses her life . She returns to the real time where she is just a memory of the past . She left the taxi and saw Diona talking to someone .

"Tristan let's visit aunt Amalia, today is Alexis' funeral. "

"Yes , it's a pity , Alexis just didn't get a college degree just before she died . She still has that dream ."

Those words stopped Alexis .

"Now is my funeral " she whispered to herself .

To avoid that , she took the second gem and ask to take her to time when she was able to build a chocolate business .....

She was in front of the building , her dream chocolate business was huge . Alexis loves chocolates so this is the business she thought. She entered the building people were busy making chocolates others were laughing . These were the events in her life that were denied to her . So this time , she made the most of it . While there was still time because time is her opponent. So she should get ahead of it . She didn't flinch anymore , she at the same time ask to have an unforgettable family vacation and their arrangement . Like other families , Alexis' family also has a misunderstanding . She doesn't know what the source is . However , she wanted to carry it out . What she wanted, happened . She was taken at that time ...

It's her grandmother's birthday . Alexis went to their vacation house . It's finally a long break for Shiela and the thought of 10 straight days of fun and freedom are all Alexis can think about . So , Alexis make this a perfect time to her family to be reunited . Then , they were in their rest house owned by her uncle. "Get a grip ! "Alexis give her uncle a hug and ask

" Is the beach house ready ? " "It's sure is , Alexis " he replied "Granny , happy birthday !! Shiela greeted as her grandmother standing at the back of Alexis. Alexis turned back and greeted her grandmother .

And unexpectedly , she saw again the man she met before.


The man is one of the business partners and colleagues of her uncle and Alexis' uncle introduced the man.

"Aren't you the one who bumped into me at the disco bar ? " the man asked Alexis Alexis did not answered instead , she ran and left . She ignored the man because she had to pay more attention to her mother , her siblings and her grandmother getting along . Alexis made a way . She conspired with her father and to Shiela so that they could talk deeply . It was not long before her small request for the family was fulfilled. A month later , Alexis' days are coming to an end for her to disappear. She was able to stop the flow of time but the two months agreement she could not revoke . So the remaining six gems are for her six dreams : to be a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding , to fall in love with the right person , to engage , visit an out of the ordinary country , go on a cruise , and one of the most anticipated everyone hopes...to get married . All of that is playing to her mind , good life and she feels that she is the luckiest person in the world. At the same time she used the rest of her gems and ask to go to the time when she was holding her life , life which she does without interfering . Then a light came and it took her to her friend's wedding day . She did not prepare for that day , she was wearing ordinary clothes and a man noticed what she was wearing and laughed at it. Alexis turned around and when she saw , she shouted at the man . "Hey ! You're too much to laughed at me !! do you think you are handsome ??! "

"We seem to be destined for each other . I always see you wherever I go... or else you follow me ?... " the man's fluttering answer

"Whatever !! " Alexis replied "Just a moment ... I'm Ice and you ?,... "

" Alexis " Alexis did not know why she gave her name and she let it go . Alexis noticed that what she was wearing was not appropriate that day , she decided to buy a wedding dress and fortunately she managed to catch up on time of Diona's wedding . The dress she was wearing was pink to suit her complexion and the guitar- like shape of her body could be seen and there were also flowers on her head and Diona praised Alexis' beauty in wearing it . While walking on the isle , she stumbled and almost felt when Ice suddenly caught her immediately . She stared at Ice for a long time , she couldn't explain why but Diona suddenly shouted that the wedding was about to start , waking her dumbfounded . A few days later, Ice and Alexis met again, in the parking area next to the disco bar . Alexis was supposed to make it but Ice was ahead of her , the outcome was a quarrel.

"Mrs. Alexis , I was the first one there , just find another parking area , Ice said.

"I was the first and you don't have a name here to say you are the first , " Alexis said . They were both hot-headed... So when Ice collided with Alexis' car , Alexis took a baseball bat on the back of her car and slapped it on the window of Ice's car , and there was a commotion because of that .

Soon after their frequent meeting , they became friends. Ice was kind and that's all sometimes he has mischief and Alexis laughs at it too. And the day came when Alexis fell in love with Ice. The two of them became lovers . They were happy together , they went to different places as Alexis wanted . Their parents did not object to their romance. Until Ice proposed to Alexis and Alexis quickly accepted it. All of this would not be impossible to Alexis because of the gems she had that she makes time move faster before her time to be end.

Five days remaining in her life... They were on a cruise that night planning their wedding when Ice suddenly mentioned something in his past. He told Alexis that he killed someone a month ago after he broke up with his ex-girlfriend and this when he regretted it , Alexis did not ask Ice the whole incident instead , she comforted him. "Ice , if ever I fades , I want you to know that I love you and you make my life colorful...thank you for that. If one day , You can't find me , don't search for me find someone to watch over you. " "Where will you go ??, don't say that we will live longer and happy.. I can't wait for our wedding day . " Alexis didn't tell to Ice about her real situation .

She cried the whole night because she knows that the day has come for her to say goodbye to the people who showed great impact in achieving her life long dream before she died. Ice is one of the reason why she wants to stay longer or if possible , forever. Alexis has many questions about why her life goes miserable if she only didn't died that night , all of this is meaningful . She is angry to the one who put her into this. She wanted to know who was the person who collided with her that night . So the gems she would have used for the time she and Ice were getting married she did not ask. Instead , she asked that she go to the time of the accident so that she could see if who ruthlessly ran over her causing her death .

She was standing at the source of the accident.. She saw her poor body lying on the road when suddenly someone got out of the car , a drunk man approached Alexis' bloody body . The man was anxious and trembling at what he was going to do...

Alexis could not see his face so she stepped closer to it. She was surprised by what she saw and stared at the man at what he was going to do. Instead of asking for help or at least the man took Alexis' body to the nearest hospital , he did not do it... The man got in the car again and left Alexis' unconscious body. Alexis was very disappointed in what she found out. She felt something hit her heart. The person who caused the shortening of her life and the person who caused her life to live for a long time was just one person... Ice was the reason for her unfortunate... The time of Alexis is over she will return to the real event..her 10 lists have been completed except for one - To get married.

So that Alexis can alleviate the pain, she just remembers the happy days that she and Ice were together and because she love it, her dream to get married was not fulfilled and she replaced it with another request : forgive someone who has wronged you. By the time Alexis gradually disappeared, she was taken by the light and that was the end of the life she suffered. Alexis' life mixed with joy, sadness and anger but forgiveness still prevailed.


Two months later....

From his deep sleep , he woke up and got up from his bed...

Ice noticed that his face was wet because of his crying that he did not know why.

"That woman... I always dream of her, and I wake up crying. Do I feel guilty? Whoever she is, may she forgive me for what I did." Ice said to himself as he wiped away his tears.

January 01, 2021 06:57

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4 comments

Jess Jet
01:51 Jan 07, 2021

Impressive, but I didn't get to heaven, and there is no time or gems in that place you get a new opportunity anyway I love your story.

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Jeni Conrad
13:40 Jan 06, 2021

I LOVE the concept of this story. Someone who can use gems to live the bits of their life they always wanted, but they expire. Also, meeting the man in different places, it's smart and heartbreaking. I like how you played with the prompt and made it your own in the story. Good job! I can see that English might not be your first language. It's admirable to write stories in English. Keep working on it, try to learn more about verbs. The whole story should be in the same tense: past or present. Keep writing!

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Radhika Diksha
17:08 Jan 05, 2021

The story was good and the idea was unique. I would suggest a few things. Change your writing style and do work on your grammar. If you write in paragraphs it will be more convenient. Keep writing. I would love your feedback on my stories.

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Aaina Aleszezyk
12:06 Jan 05, 2021

I enjoyed reading your story. 1 suggestion - write your story in paragraphs, it will make reading easier and your writing more attractive. :)

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