Nectar of the Gods

Gideon stood before the back door of the restored Victorian home, then entered the kitchen where steam rose from several pots on the stove, and a youthful stranger stirred the cranberries. He'd never been here before.

"Gideon," he said as he smiled for the introduction, extending his hand for the shake.

"Naomi," smiled the young woman, but she bypassed the hand and embraced him instead. "Uncle Gideon, you mean. Don has told me all about you." She sounded tipsy. There was a little slur in her words. "I think he said you drank mead."

"Well, truthfully, while I do love a glass of mead, I'm not supposed to have any. I'm surprised he didn't warn you."

"Must have slipped his mind," she giggled while reaching for a black bottle sporting a Viking Mead label and filling a glass to the top. "Shsh!" she said, touching her fingers to her lips. "Our first secret."

"Uncle Gideon! Welcome!" Gideon's nephew Don shouted on entering the room. He seemed tipsy as well. "I see you've met Naomi, my bride." Here, the couple gave each other a passionate kiss. Tipsy newlyweds. "Come on into the dining room. The others are already here."

Gideon sat down, greeting his brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews. Himself he never married, but he usually brought a date. Not today. Today, he came alone.

The relatives caught each other up with the latest details of their lives while women drifted in and out of the kitchen.

"Just waiting on the turkey," someone said.

Bursts of laughter and gleeful voices resonated about the busy household. No one looked twice at Gideon's glass, but he knew he shouldn't, and for a while, he didn't, but when his sister Hilda pulled into the drive, he was very tempted.

Of all his family, she was the one who galled him. She was the one that made him feel the need to defend himself at every turn. She was the one who kept him up late into the night thinking up comebacks and things he should have said, and it turned out today would be no different. It began as soon as she stepped into the room.

"Where is your date, Gideon? Did she stand you up?"

"No, of course not, she's on her way. We decided to meet here," Gideon lied. Why had he done that?

"Jasmine?"

She said the name Jasmine with a sneer. What had she heard?

"No. Her name is Aurora!" he snapped.

Hilda nodded with that look he'd like to slap off her face someday.

"I can't wait to meet her," she grinned before drifting into the kitchen.

"Still waiting on the turkey," someone iterated in passing.

Gideon scowled. Why had he lied? He didn't know anyone named Aurora and probably never would. Within thirty minutes, Hilda would ask where Aurora was and if he'd heard from her. Hilda was forcing his hand. He drummed his fingers on the table and looked at the glass of mead. He wasn't supposed to touch it.

There was something about mead that took him away from wherever he was and set him off on some glorious adventure. He didn't know why. The adventures usually took place at the Shire, but not always. Once, he'd whitewashed a fence for Tom Sawyer, and another time, he ended up as a scarecrow at a yellow-bricked crossroads under a blistering sun, waiting for someone to get him down.

Wherever he went, whatever adventure the mead took him on—he always woke up in the hospital afterward because friends and family would panic and call an ambulance. The doctor finally said, "No more mead," but that was more to appease his worried family. There was nothing wrong with him.

Whenever he arrived at the Shire, Bilbo, Frodo, and the others welcomed him as a cherished friend. They'd lay out a meal much like this one. Someone would tell a story. Then they'd bring out the musical instruments and clear the table for dancing. After that, they'd set off for an adventure. No one would ask about Jasmine and how she had broken his heart. It had been a while since he'd danced on tables with the Hobbits. He longed to be there.

When Hilda approached with a question on her lips, Gideon came to a decision and raised his glass of mead.

"To the Shire!" he said.

Once he'd swallowed the entire glass, the Nectar of the Gods channeled him into another world.

~*~

There were a few seconds of disorientation, but he quickly became aware he was standing on the deck of a ship.

The ship pitched and reeled in a boiling body of water, and Gideon fought to keep his balance. Was he in the Shire? He looked around, trying to see through a fog as thick as wool. A black flag marked with the standard skull and crossbones alluded to it being a pirate ship. He didn't think the Shire had pirates. No. He was on an adventure somewhere else, but where?

"Cap'n James? Wha shou' we do?"

Captain James? The speaker had just stepped from the fog—a beastly, ferocious type.

"Who goes there?" Gideon asked, not having any idea what to do.

"It's Smee!"

Neverland! Gideon looked down at his hands. He still had two. That meant this adventure happened before…

"Pe'er anda boys are gettin' away. Shou' we pursue? In nis storm?"

Several more feral types stepped out from the fog to await his answer. Their eyes were ready to fight, ready to annihilate anyone who got in their way.

"Are you scared?" Gideon asked. His own voice sounded threatening. Yes, I am, he thought. I'm terrified. Oh, why did I drink the mead? I know better.

"A'course not. All 'ands on deck," Smee shouted, and everyone got busy.

Gideon held on to his pirate hat as the ship lurched ahead. He pulled the sword from his scabbard and took a few practice swings. Then, he went below deck in search of an alarm clock. When the time came, he'd need it.

Smee found him later, still winding the clock. It took a lot of winding. He knew what would happen if the clock wound down too soon.

"They gah away," said Smee.

Gideon kept winding. "Do we have any mead on board?"

"Jus rum. Thas all, Cap'n."

"Bring the bottle."

It took nearly all night to finish winding the clock to his satisfaction.

When the sun rose, so did the fog. The storm disappeared.

The Jolly Roger docked before Skull Rock, and everyone got out to stretch their legs.

A rooster crowed. A rooster?

"That was him," Gideon stated. "I'd recognize that crowing anywhere. C'mon. It's time for an adventure."

~*~

The ship named Jolly Roger stealthed along the black lagoon while the pirates searched the shores of Neverland with spyglasses for signs of the lost boys. When they found them playing games with the mermaids in the lagoon near Marooners' Rock, Gideon focused his telescope to bring them closer. One of the mermaids looked startlingly like what Jasmine must have looked like years earlier, long before she'd met Gideon. The real Jasmine was fifty and engaged to be married to someone she'd only dated for two months. To be fair, she had asked him first. They'd lived together these past ten years, and Gideon had never been happier. He didn't want to ruin it with the big fuss of weddings, schedules, and advice. He'd won the argument, and Jasmine, the loser of said argument, conceded by moving out and into the arms of some 'Leonardo,' whom Gideon hated on sight.

Infuriatingly, Peter resembled a much younger Leonardo and had an arm draped around the youthful mermaid version of Jasmine. Gideon scowled. This was not the adventure he'd hoped for at all. He was meant for frothy glasses of ale and lively music with dancing on the tables in the Shire among his friends. A sigh escaped.

"Be ready," he said to his pirates.

They rowed the dinghy across the lagoon toward Peter. When they came close enough for the mermaid resembling Jasmine to take notice, Gideon smiled and honored her with an over-exaggerated wink. In retaliation, she flashed her tail, so a wave of water slapped his face. Peter chuckled. The lost boys chuckled, too. The mermaids giggled.  

"Oh, Peter," Gideon called out. "Let's you and I have an adventure."

The crew of pirates laughed. So did the lost boys. So did the mermaids. Peter glared the boys and mermaids into silence, though a few smirks remained. He didn't like being laughed at. Gideon knew all about Peter Pan's ways.

"What kind of adventure?" Peter asked.

"I can out dance you on a table," Gideon answered, surprising himself at the ingenuity. Maybe this could be the adventure he wanted after all. "I'm the best there's ever been," he boasted.  

"Challenge accepted," Peter answered.

"Build me a table at once," Gideon ordered the pirates. Because they feared him so, no one asked how, and none complained. They dismantled the dinghy and built a platform using rocks and oars for tools. They used waist-high boulders for support and lifted the platform on top.

Meanwhile, Peter and the lost boys built a make-believe table. It looked surprisingly sturdy. Peter stood on top and crowed.

Gideon stepped onto his platform and showed off sword skills he didn't know he had. First, he twirled it like a baton and tossed it into the air, spinning like a wheel, then caught it with his bare hands. He pulled the alarm clock from a pocket and juggled his hat, the clock, and sword faster and faster, glancing only once at the mermaid Jasmine, who was examining her long fingernails. An auburn-haired mermaid smiled, however. She had a gold tooth that caught a ray of sun.

"I'm bored," Peter shouted. "Let's get on with it then."

"Let there be music!" Gideon commanded. "I'll set the clock for five minutes. The crowd will vote for their favorite afterward with a show of hands."

The mermaids began to hum while the boys and pirates clapped out a rhythm.

Gideon began with some fancy steps that got faster and faster. Then he twirled and leaped from side to side. The pirates started to sing.

Yo ho, yo hong, the Neversong

A-pirating, we will go

Pan can't dance, won't have a chance

All of Neverland will know!

Peter didn't really dance. He hopped like a frog and walked on his hands in time to the music. He did a few handsprings. Still, the boys and mermaids appeared delighted, and the lost boys also began to sing.

Fiddle dee dune the Nevertune

Adventuring we will be

James won't win, he'll lose again

All of Neverland will see!

"Ales for everyone!" shouted Gideon.

The pirates looked confused, as did the lost boys, but Peter laughed. Suddenly, an ale appeared in Gideon's hand. In fact, a glass of ale appeared in everyone's hand. Even the mermaids raised glasses. Gideon took a long drink. This was what he'd wanted. It tasted like nothing. Peter laughed at the expression on his face, and the clock's alarm went off.

"Now we vote with a show of hands. Hands for Peter," shouted Gideon. There were eight pirates, eight lost boys, and an even number of mermaids. Half the mermaids voted for Peter and half for Captain James. A tie. The gold-toothed mermaid smiled at Gideon.

"We go until there's a winner," said Peter.

It was the tenth tied vote, and everyone was disgusted and sick of it all. Peter pulled out his sword.

"A fight to the finish," he cried.

Without warning, he leaped to Captain James's dance platform and sliced through Gideon's wrist just as he picked up the clock. Peter then snatched the severed hand with the sword point.

"Bad form!" shouted Gideon, shocked at the pain and the blood. "You cheated!" he screamed.

Peter smiled and held out the sword to something in the shadows. Perhaps only he had noticed the crocodile sneaking up on the ruckus as the sun set over Neverland. Peter fed the hand still holding the clock to the crocodile as Gideon faded from consciousness.

When he woke, he was back on the Jolly Roger surrounded by his pirates, who pointed fingers at each other and talked at the same time.

First, they'd used the tabletop as a raft to get him back to the ship. Next, the pirate, Starkey, pulled a heavy hook from the ship and stuck it through Gideon's arm bone, so he now had a hook where his hand should be. They sterilized the wound with rum and wrapped it with bandages they kept in great supply below deck.

"Are you a'right Cap'n James?"

"I’m Captain Hook!" Gideon growled and faded again.

~*~

The next time he woke up, he was in the hospital. Relatives filled the tiny space in the emergency room.

"He's coming around."

"Oh, thank goodness."

"I'm so sorry, Uncle Gideon. I didn't know," cried Naomi.  

Everyone talked at once.

Once the doctor reviewed his history with drinking mead, he released him.

Gideon was alone for the moment, buttoning his shirt. Don and Naomi were bringing the car around. 

The nurse came in with a pill for a headache and a release form. She had a auburn hair and a gentle touch about her as she helped him take the pill. A gold tooth flashed in her smile. She was just past her prime, close to his age, and wore no ring. Her name tag said Aurora. 

"Thank you for taking such good care of me," Gideon told her.

"It was no trouble at all," she smiled with her gold tooth. "I feel like I know you from somewhere."

"Perhaps," he answered.

 "Do you like to dance?" she asked.

"I love to dance," he told her.

Perhaps this would turn into a new adventure. But no more mead, he thought to himself. Never again.