Too far

The smell, the feeling that you are alive when you shouldn't be, the happiness and the sadness all around you. The people that want to do their best but they know that their work is useless. The feeling that you are real when you will just go too far. 

A miracle that turned into hell for the people all around you.  

`She is never focused on our conversation` No, I am not. I live in another world where I am free, where nobody tells me that I will die tomorrow, that I don’t understand and that they will love me forever. Everything starts too many years ago. My parents couldn’t have children and after so many years of trying to have one they found somebody. A doctor that made miracles for the couples who couldn’t have kids. They paid a lot of money to make me exist but they didn’t know that money can’t buy life. After almost two days after my mom gave birth to me everything, any dream, any hope, anything fell apart. They found out I had a problem with my lungs that couldn’t be solve. Nobody knew what it was until I got to the age of one. I had lung cancer. It was already too late to operate it. My parents sued the doctor who made `the miracle` but nothing could have solved my problem. They brang me to a lot of doctors but everything was useless. I am now 6 years old. Everybody thought that I won’t get to that age because my days were counted. Everybody is ready for me to die, any day. But I live my days like they are the last days, even if my childhood was ruined by my lung cancer. My parents are still hoping that they can do a transplant on my lung but the doctors know the truth. The cancer affected more than 50% of my lungs and if they even try to, it would be way too dangerous.  

Today, it is snowing. I ate my lungs and took all the pills I have to take every two hours. I look at my pretty wall full of dates. Every day I mark the date of the day when I am breathing until I will stop to do it. Luna, one of the nurses that comes to my room every two hour to give me my pills and to do other medical things that I have never understand the use because I will die anyways. My mom came this morning. She brang with her some cookies. After I ate two of them, I asked her if I can go outside. She looked at me with a sad face. She tried to explain me that it is dangerous for me but I didn’t care. After she left, I got dressed in some clothes. I wasn’t going to listen to her. I wanted to live my days as if they were the last. I can’t run, swim and when I walk, I have to walk really slow because it is `dangerous` as they say. I took my air and then left my room. After I got out of the hospital, I finally felt free. I have never known how it is to go for a walk, to go to school because the hospital was the safest place on the Planet for me. I was walking on the sidewalk, the view was amazing, the snowflakes were falling out of the sky so beautifully. I suddenly felt like I wasn’t getting air anymore. I checked my bag with air and I froze. The bag was completely out of air. A girl went in front of me and asked me if I was okay. I was breathing really hard. She yelled for her parents and they rushed me to the hospital. The last thing I remember is the girl that saved me, sitting next to my bed. When I woke up my parents were yelling at me because I didn’t listen to them but I wasn’t focused on what they were saying. I wanted to ask that girl what was her name. I quickly wrote on a piece of paper- `What is your name? `. She wrote under my question- `Lucy. What is your name? `. After that I wrote- `Daisy`. After our small talk her parents took her hand and then left the salon. My parents kept asking me why I did that but I was looking on the window. I wanted to see where was Lucy going. She was going to her house that was in front of the hospital. I wanted to talk with her. She seemed my age. She was really pretty. After my parents left the room, I went to Luna. I asked her if she knew something about Lucy. She told me that she doesn’t know anything. 

The next day, Luna told me to come in the hallway. I didn’t know why. I mark with a heart the day before and then went to the hallway. When I left the room, I saw Lucy staying there with a cut on her face. She was crying. I got next to her and we started talking. I started telling her about my life and she did the same. When her parents returned, she wrote on a piece of paper her address. At first, I didn’t understand why but then I realized that in front of the address there was a postal code. After almost 30 minutes she left the hospital. I got into my room. I sit on the chair and then started writing a letter to send to Lucy. An hour past. I told Luna to put the letter in the mail. A day past, I woke up, I mark the day before and then Luna came into my room. After she gave me the pills, she handed me a letter. After she left the room, I opened the letter. It was from Lucy.  

`Hey Daisy! How are you feeling? I am so glad, I met you! Anyways, the cut on my cheek started to heal. I hope you are okay!  

Love,  

Lucy` 

After this letter, so many other letters we sent to each other. We were so close to each other. One day she told me to meet in front of the hospital. I put some clothes on and then I got to the entry of the hospital. She was witting for me. We were talking about the transplant. That day was the day when I had to do the transplant on my lungs. I wasn’t scared but Lucy was crying. She didn’t want me to die. I told her that everything will be okay even if I would die. I dressed up in a gown but suddenly, when I looked up at the wall there were no marks and no dates. It was so weird. When the doctors came into my room everything stopped. 

I was seeing only black and nothing else. I wasn’t hearing anything instead of Lucy’s voice. She was telling me that everything will be okay. I was breathing really hard. I felt like I was drowning. I was getting out of air. I was seeing bright lights. A girl that was playing with her parents. She had long hair like mine, and the exact same eyes as mine. She was me but with some white wings. Somebody was staying next to her. There was an old man with a long beard, that is when I realized that my days were ending. The hell I was living finally ended up. I was finally living the world I was dreaming of. After all I have seen, I saw an angel. An angel that looked exactly like Lucy. She was getting closer and closer. She was in front of me when I heard: 

`You are free now, live your life` 

Lucy was the air I didn't have.....