Summer Loves Come and Gone

       After our first date to the beach and eating ice cream he drove as I looked out the window and noticed that the sun was setting, I made him pull over in the little ravine next to the lake. We watched the sunset as the night breeze was warm and the air was slightly chilly. We got back into the car. The sun had just set so it was still light out. He cranked the music, pulled me close and kissed me for the first time. We then drove off. In that very moment I thought “You and I were infinite for that one moment that moment you took me into the car just you and I listening to music not having a care in the world that moment you looked at me shook your head and smiled at me I actually believed we would be together for life I actually pictured a future with you and I know you did too the way you loved and looked at me. You and me against the world, and for that moment we were infinite.” The type of love that lasts a summer; short and sweet. But long enough where you thought it could last a lifetime. As the summer began so did our love story, we made it longer than the summer but not long enough for the next summer.

          It’s a bittersweet thing to look back on but in the end it’s something that I will always cherish. All the adventures, and memories we’ve made, now a year later pop up in my memories as I smile through trying to hold back the tears. Summer was always a time of the year that was my favorite. Summer is still my favorite time of year but now these memories make the summertime bittersweet. The weather seems to reflect my mood, sometimes it’s really sunny and I'm really happy but other times it’s warm but cloudy. On the cloudy and grey days of the summer I feel as though the darkness of missing those memories looms over my head and heart like a storm cloud. 

       Deep down I knew that this kind of love was going to last for a short period of time but the hopeless romantic in me always had a small sliver of hope that he would be my forever. Maybe not in this lifetime or the next, however I had always felt like he was meant to be in my life whether we both knew it or not. 

     This time around the sun setting and summer coming closer I didn’t know whether to feel happy or melancholy. Not even a full revolution around the sun happened and our love story got cut short. The people I met through him and the things I got to experience I would never want to be taken away. It’s funny how in just a short trip around the sun; everything can change. Life has a funny way of repeating history, I sit back and observe the life I used to have being lived out by another girl. I’m not angry at them, because people live and they learn and then they move on. I’m in the stage of living and moving on. It’s just crazy how people's lives are changed in the most unexpected ways yet you can watch it all happen from the sidelines like a spectator at a game. Not quite a part of the team yet not fully detached from the team either. 

      Let me take you on a quick tour of our love story. We met in the summer and spent that summer doing things normal teenagers would do except we didn’t work at jobs because we had no way of making a living due to the current situation in the world. As that summer drew to an end I had to go to college, and he stayed home and had a job. He came and visited me quite a few times and took me home as well. At the time he introduced me to people I grew to love and call my family. Some of them I still talk to others are now just a distant memory. (I’ve grown to accept that eventually.) That fall I came home and celebrated my birthday. He was there through everything I needed him for. The good and the bad he was always there for me. Together we celebrated thanksgiving, his birthday, christmas, and new years. We took many trips together to and from my college and wherever the friend group was going at the time. The spring brought different adventures, ones that were hard on all of us. Inevitably our epic story came to an end. Of course it was hard but I learned a lot about how people cope with their feelings and how much they can change and replace you. As I reflect on how much I've changed I've realized my worth and that other people shouldn’t tell you what your worth is. If they do, they aren’t in your life for the right reason. Live and learn is what people say and it couldn’t be more true in my situation. I've learned more in the past six months than I would have ever learned if I hadn't met these people. Now three months past one of the worst heartbreaks I'm full circle as I was a year ago, although now, I watch the people I thought I had a forever with wrap another innocent girl up in their whirlwind of a life. I hope that girl learns and grows from them as much as I did. For now they're just distant memories. But that's all in the universe's hands now. I have no say in anything that happens to them anymore. I'm learning to live everyday with sunrises and sunsets. Each day brings a new beautiful chapter in life and I couldn't be happier where I am now. Tonight I watched the sunset and thank my lucky stars that I got to see another beautiful day end in a beautiful way.