Aqua Tofana

Giulia heard about the witch from a widow, an acquaintance of her mother's. The widow was rich and had three successful sons. Her husband had died of a fever, leaving behind an immense estate. Using the acumen and wealth which God had bestowed upon her, the widow shrewdly recuperated her husband's crumbling holdings, educated her sons, and married them off to rich and powerful families. The youngest of her sons was rumored to be betrothed to the daughter of the house of Valois. There was also a rumor that the widow has had illicit relationships with men as young as her sons. 

Giulia did not pay attention to those rumors. She admired the widow. Giulia's mother did not approve of their meetings, but her mother did not approve of any woman who had a tongue in her mouth. As far as her mother was concerned the widow was the spawn of the devil. She warned Giulia to stay away from her. To Giulia, the widow was a strong and independent woman who made subservient women like her mother uncomfortable. The widow’s sharp features, sharp eyes, and sharp movements attracted and terrified men and women alike. They did not like her but they were drawn to her, especially men. To Giulia, she represented a small but powerful light in a sea of darkness, where women like her were abused and mistreated.

Giulia would visit the widow almost every week. The widow would listen intently and give Giulia advice. The conversation would often veer towards children, men, and cookery. The widow would say that men's viciousness did not scare her but their stupidity. Giulia personally was more scared of their viciousness than their stupidity. Giulia's husband, Enzo, used to come home every night and beat her over the most ridiculous of things. Food was the most common incitement. The old widow would say that Enzo was a vicious creature that she had warned Giulia's mother about. Enzo had broken a tooth of the old widow's youngest son. She had taken Enzo's family to court, and Giulia's father-in-law had apologized feverishly and made Enzo apologize as well. Although Enzo had to be beaten senseless by his father before he uttered the word sorry to the widow and her son.

Giulia tried many things that the widow suggested but nothing stopped the beating. Eventually, the widow confronted Enzo. First time in her life, she saw Enzo unable to be mean to a woman. He growled and groaned but didn't utter a word of defiance. For months, he didn't touch Giulia until he came home one night with his eyes swollen shut and beat her for serving him a stale meal.

The widow sympathized with her because her own late husband was a spendthrift. He had drunk and whored away almost half his inheritance before he passed away of a terrible fever. The widow would call him her silly old darling. The widow loved him but was glad that he died for he would have made her children destitute. The widow herself had lived her childhood in poverty and disgrace under the banner of a prominent family which had lost its wealth to the mistakes of vicious, silly, and irresponsible men. However, her family name had allowed her to get married in a nouveau-arrived family of Habsburg, risen to prominence single-handedly by the old widow's father-in-law who was an orphan, who worked in the docks of Venice until with industriousness and humility he becomes one of the wealthiest merchants in the city. Although the widow’s father-in-law made her uncomfortable with his intelligent gaze, he was one of the few men the widow admired. He disapproved of her marriage with his son but had to agree after a public insistence from her late husband. 

When they first met. The widow was charmed by her bold young beau, slender and popular with no care in the world. He would spend more on perfume than her family spent on rations. They lived a life of luxury and new dignity she had never known. She dined with every prominent family, met with the pope, and ate at the house of Medici. But when her father-in-law died of a sudden heart ailment, their family estate fell into the hands of her husband. Within a few years, her husband, unbridled, had lost and spent half of the family's fortune. 

Giulia’s marriage was like the old widow’s except that Enzo was also violent. He beat her hard and often. Sometimes, she wished she was never born. It felt like there was never a time when life was worth living. The ink of the present had smudged the memories of the past. Sometimes, she questioned whether the memories from her past were ever real. The pain, the beatings, and the horrors she experienced were the only thing that felt real. 

After one particularly bad beating, Giulia went to the widow's house. It had taken her a week to gather her courage. She had become anxious and, for the first time, she feared for her life. When the old widow saw Giulia’s face, she had grown furious. She wanted to confront Enzo but Giulia pleaded with her. It was her fault, she insisted. She was not a good wife to him. She could not give him a son. Giulia cried herself to sleep in the widow's embrace. After she woke up, she was not frantic and felt secure. 

In the evening, Giulia sat in the widow’s bedroom brooding over the fact that she had to go home to him. The terror came back. The widow found Giulia sobbing and she said, 

"You cannot live like that, child." 

"I fear for myself but most of all I fear for my children and their future. He will ruin everything."

"For them, you need to be strong, Giulia. I know you can. You are one of the strongest women I know."

That made Giulia feel better. Coming from her, it meant a lot to her. Giulia looked into the widow's sharp eyes. "I want to be strong like you. I want to do what you did"

The widow began, "You have heard bad rumors about me. You still want to be like me"

Giulia nodded. The widow told her to seek Paolina the witch. 

***

When Giulia entered the witch's place, she could not believe her eyes. She found herself in a room which was much bigger than what it looked from the outside. The room was lit wonderfully with candlelight. It smelt like lavender and rosemary and myriad other smells Giulia wished she knew. The floor was covered with the loveliest of carpets, which she could feel through the soles of her shoes. The walls were lined with sofas on which sat a score of women. All were veiled like she was yet every eye was different. Some were stronger than others. Others, younger. She could tell from those who had suffered more than she had. Life worse than hers she could have never imagined yet here she was sitting among women who had seen much worse than her. Giulia sat next to a girl with olive skin. Her eyes looked exotic and she had some sort of mark between her forehead. In front of Giulia sat a girl with brown hair and brown eyes. Giulia could tell that the girl was pregnant because she wore a dress that was too loose, she was with a boy too young to be a husband and sat too intimate to be her brother. The girl did not come here for childbirth. It was too early for that. Giulia almost fainted when the realization came to her. The anxiety brought her back to her own problems. What was she doing here? Consorting with a witch? I am a terrible terrible human being, she thought. She remembered her husband, but she remembered him as young and cocky but gentle. Oh! He used to be so kind to me. Only if his father was alive.

However, this time Giulia did not blame herself. She did deserve the beatings. It was not her fault that he squandered a large portion of his inheritance. She loved him, despite the beating, despite the abuse, but she could never forgive him for ruining her children’s lives.

It was her turn. She pushed the heavy arched wooden door open. She went in and found herself in awe. This room was grander than the last one. She had never seen so many objects under the bright golden light of what she could only describe as a suspended star, a glowing orb that was not harsh but smooth and pleasing to the eye. The light shone upon everything but it shined the objects differently. She brought her hands in front of her and they were the most beautiful hands she had ever seen. In front of her was a huge table filled with hundreds of apparatus, of the most complicated assortment, filled with potions of vivid colors. Colors she had never seen. Smells she had never smelt. 

Giulia saw a small woman with dark brown skin. She had never seen a person like that before. Her hair was curly and short. Her skin was smooth and shining like a polished apple. She had heard about such people that worked at the ports but had never seen them before. The brown woman was searching for books amongst the thousands lined from end to end on shelves that reach from the ground to the distant roof. Like books, hundreds of jars lined the wall, jars of distinct shapes and sizes, stored within them were life forms she had never seen. There were also chairs and clocks and chests. As Giulia scanned the room, her eyes fell on a woman, absorbed in a book on a standing table, across the room from her. She was a slender woman in a red dress with long hair the color of deep-burnished copper, and rosy white skin. She was taller than most men Giulia had seen. Her high cheeks and sharp jaw did not suggest in the slightest that she was older than thirty. One word jumped into her mind red. 

Giulia stood engrossed in the red woman as the woman stood engrossed in her studies. 

"Giulia", the woman said, "Come here darling, would you?"

Those words brought Giulia out of her trance. She should have questioned how the woman came to know her name. But no suspicion came to her mind. It was as though all the despair was sucked out of her being. She faintly remembered feeling the opposite. Fear and anxiety had shrouded her existence. Standing in this magical place, Giulia felt immense love brewing inside her heart. She felt one with the red woman. One with all the women sitting outside. One with the little brown girl. She had never felt this happy, this awed, and this protected before. She did not feel like a lone scared animal anymore but part of a whole that nurtured and cherished her. Giulia felt part of a sisterhood. 

The woman removed Giulia's veil. And Arm in arm, the woman walked Giulia to a desk. She beckoned Giulia to sit on a chair as the woman took the chair opposite of hers. Giulia was mesmerized by the woman's hair, her slender neck, and her lips. Never in her life had she seen lips that red. The woman noticed Giulia's gaze and said, 

"I apply lip paint on my lips. When I first saw the consort of the emperor of China, I asked her about it and she gave me her lip paint. I determined its ingredients and created my own lip paint." 

"Are you the witch?", asked Giulia, but she instantly regretted it. 

The woman leaned back on her chair and replied, "When a woman is confident and powerful, they call her a witch. Besides, Paolina the potion-maker sounds better than Paolina the witch. 

"How did you know my name?", asked Giulia

"I know a lot about you. I know that you have two girls. You have a pious mother. And you have an abusive husband, whom you are here for.", said Paolina and gave Giulia a knowing look. 

On the verge of tears, Giulia looked down. Paolina leaned forward and took Giulia's hand into her hand, "You are a strong woman, Giulia. Do you know how many women waste their entire life like that? It is easier to live like a slave than to break the chains of tradition and propriety." 

"I am doing this for my children", said Giulia, "How do I pay you?"  

"An ounce of blood", replied Paolina. 

"Blood? Why?", asked Giulia.

"I need them to make potions," said Paolina as she stood up and went to her work table that had all the apparatus. 

The little brown girl hurried next to Paolina

"We have to make Aqua Tofana", said Paolina, "Bring me dragon-blood, belladonna, arsenic, and lead."

The girl scurried off as Paolina boiled some liquid in a pot. She mixed all the ingredients when the brown girl came back. Paolina poured the contents into a glass vial. The potion looked colorless. For some reason, Giulia had expected a red like that of Paolina's hair. 

Paolina walked up to Giulia in her long elegant strides and placed the vial in Giulia's hand. The potion was warm to the touch. Polina's hand was warmer when she placed her delicate hand on Giulia's face. 

Giulia hugged this strange woman who felt like an older sister to her. 

"Come back and I will give you some lip paint," said Paolina with a smile on her face. "Remember, whenever you need me, I will be here to help." 

Giulia nodded her head and asked, "Did you gave the same potion to the widow" 

Paolina nodded her head and said, "Be strong for your kids. Your husband will have a fever for three days. It will not be sudden. Everything will look natural." 

Giulia was ill for three days before she died. Everything looked natural.