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bright yellow shirt, I was working in the University of South Florida bookstore cafe, serving up Caramel Macchiatos and Vanilla Bean Frappuccinos to book-toting college kids.
Phil was one of those kids.
He ordered a grande Java Chip Frappuccino from me that day, forever insisting I didn't blend the drink well enough. He also insists I flashed him a smile, like I knew this was the start of something big.
It was.
We'd bond over burritos and quarter beers at Tijuana Flats the next few months, him staring longingly and me trying to deny we were meant to be. Soon enough, I was staring back
Marilena Perilli | Special to the Time
When I asked him what sort of romantic food story I should share about us for this issue, we couldn't think of anything spectacular. There was the time early in our relationship when he made me salmon for dinner because he knew I didn't like the fish and wanted to convince me it was delicious. He cooked the pink fillet in the oven of his college apartment, slaved over a bright fruit salsa. The meal deepened my love for him more than for the salmon. Over the years, we've both been passionate about finding good food wherever we go. We've noshed on everything bagels in New York City, sought out tremendous Italian food in Washington, D.C. And for our wedding in October, what's on the plate is a priorit
We've gone from two poor college students who had their first-date dinner at Chili's (I was too nervous to eat my taquitos) to adults who celebrated his 30th birthday at the indulgent Bern's dessert room in Tampa, but no one memory stands out. Then I realized, that's because all of them d
Phil crystallized my epiphany when he texted this back a few hours after my initial query: "Well, that might make a nice point about how anything can be romantic when you're in love."o.y.s
Even burritos.
We asked Times staffers to share their stories of food and romance, and of how the two often intertwine. Sometimes, good intentions gave way to disastrous results. But mostly, these 10 vignettes show how food often brings people together.
Marilena Perilli | Special to the Times
A foot-and-a-half-long San Francisco Columbus Italian Dry Salami or two dozen roses?
I didn't know that Wendy's mother would be judging my ability to take care of her daughter by the gift I sent on Valentine's Day. This was in 1971. I loved dry salami and so did Wendy, so I didn't think twice about what to get her. The problem was, she had another boyfriend and he was from one of the wealthiest families in Lodi, Calif. His name was Dave. He had a couple dozen roses delivered to Wendy's front door, making sure her mom would be there to witness all the love. All I had was the salami and the two years we had gone together from ninth to 11th grade.
In the end, it was the salami that decided it for Wendy. We've been married 40 years in September.
Even burritos.
We asked Times staffers to share their stories of food and romance, and of how the two often intertwine. Sometimes, good intentions gave way to disastrous results. But mostly, these 10 vignettes show how food often brings people together.
Marilena Perilli | Special to the Times
A foot-and-a-half-long San Francisco Columbus Italian Dry Salami or two dozen roses?
I didn't know that Wendy's mother would be judging my ability to take care of her daughter by the gift I sent on Valentine's Day. This was in 1971. I loved dry salami and so did Wendy, so I didn't think twice about what to get her. The problem was, she had another boyfriend and he was from one of the wealthiest families in Lodi, Calif. His name was Dave. He had a couple dozen roses delivered to Wendy's front door, making sure her mom would be there to witness all the love. All I had was the salami and the two years we had gone together from ninth to 11th grade.
In the end, it was the salami that decided it for Wendy. We've been married 40 years in September.
Marilena Perilli | Special to the Times
When I asked him what sort of romantic food story I should share about us for this issue, we couldn't think of anything spectacular. There was the time early in our relationship when he made me salmon for dinner because he knew I didn't like the fish and wanted to convince me it was delicious. He cooked the pink fillet in the oven of his college apartment, slaved over a bright fruit salsa. The meal deepened my love for him more than for the salmon. Over the years, we've both been passionate about finding good food wherever we go. We've noshed on everything bagels in New York City, sought out tremendous Italian food in Washington, D.C. And for our wedding in October, what's on the plate is a priority.
We've gone from two poor college students who had their first-date dinner at Chili's (I was too nervous to eat my taquitos) to adults who celebrated his 30th birthday at the indulgent Bern's dessert room in Tampa, but no one memory stands out. Then I realized, that's because all of them do.
Phil crystallized my epiphany when he texted this back a few hours after my initial query: "Well, that might make a nice point about how anything can be romantic when you're in love."
was pleasantly surprised by the women sharing a devil-may-care attitude when talking about how they came out of the closet. The film then reveals a bit of these ladies’ past, and suddenly, the reasons for their seeming daredevilry become evident.
Terry, as we later learn, was one of the pioneers of Canadian women’s baseball, considered a man’s sport back in the day. “I broke all the rules all my life and that’s why I am happy,” says Terry, who talks of how men flocked to the stadiums to watch women playing in skirts.
However, after watching women battling against each other and playing with bruises, the same spectators returned—but this time, for the sport. Pat interjects to explain how their love story was something straight out of a musical. “Our first kiss was in the middle of a street during a sandstorm, so nobody could see us,” says Pat, who also shares a laugh about how they never cared about checking into hotels with no luggage.
If all seems merry and gay, we realise it’s not. Newspaper clippings show us that two out of three Americans viewed homosexuality with disgust, discomfort or fear. Pat and Terry, along with a pair of gay men who they have been friends with for decades, talk about their memories of gay bars getting raided.
Despite such ordeals, or maybe because of them, they narrate these stories with a straight face. Even something as simple as a love letter had to be stored with the bottom half ripped off, just so the sender’s name isn’t clear to anyone who chances upon it. Diana, one of Terry’s nieces, reveals how how her father used to say that Terry needed to be f***ed by a big, black guy to set her straight. Terry herself adds that had her mother been alive to see her coming out, she would have disowned her.
But it is not all gloomy and dramatic, with A Secret Love having some lighter moments too. Take, for instance, Pat sharing her story of how she was into three men at different stages of her life and how all of them dying one after the other, was enough of a message that men just wouldn’t make the cut.
The sweet banter among the two are some of the best parts of A Secret Love. Even when their health deteriorates over the years (the docu covers more than half a decade of their lives), or when family dynamics go for a toss, their attitude stays the same.
Their love too has seemingly stood the test of time. Scenes like Terry asking Pat if she’s got a headache after a heated argument, and Pat, with a broken voice, saying, ‘She means everything to me’, are sure to pull at your heartstrings. After all these years, Terry and Pat don’t ‘live a lie anymore’. If I had to summarise this film with a song, I’d chose Doris Day’s Secret Love: Now I shout it from the highest hills; Even told the golden daffodils; At last, my heart’s an open door; And my secret love is no secret anymore.
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