When the Party's Over

  I sat in bed one morning thinking what it would have been like to be nothing. What would have happened then? As i left that odd train of thought i got out of bed it was about 6:00 am. I grab the grey hoodie that was laying on the floor, as i quickly rush out the door my sister Ellie, yells at me as i'm halfway out the door and says, 

"Have a good day weirdo" I laugh. 

"You enjoy working from home.” I put my mask on and ran to the bus stop. I watch as the bus passes by i yell, "Dammit not again!" I run as fast as possible to the next stop and get there just in time. The bus doors open i quickly find a seat next to my best friend Amy. She then asks, "Late again?” I laugh, “Yup, i was thinking and kinda lost track of the time. I probably should of been paying attention.” Then, we pass the next bus stop i sit there staring out the window of the bus and all of a sudden I see this beautiful girl at the next stop. My jaw drops then amy asks what’s with the look? What is it?” I start to ask myself “What are you doing fawning over a girl you just seen this isn’t normal.” I start to think about all the details of the girl the hightop converse, the black beanie, the skateboard, the long blonde hair down to her waist, there was so much about her i just liked. I hadn’t noticed i zoned out i then look at Amy and ask “Isn’t there gonna be a new girl in out class today like Mrs. Rose said?” She looks back at me and I ask “What?” she then says, “Yeah, her name is Lorrie Carson. Why do you ask? Nevermind.” she just sits there forgetting I even asked anything. I started asking myself wait this is a girl your fawning over your straight what is your sister gonna say about this. Hopefully it’s just a faze. I still sit there questioning myself. When we arrive at school i notice that the girl was standing over there board in her hands by herself i wanted to go talk to her but a group of annoying skater boy’s cut me off so i just gave up. As I start to walk up to class the girl comes up behind me then taps on my shoulder and asks “Do you know where class B9 is? I looked back at her and was surprised .Her eyes were a lightish grey and green color and her smile was just flat out gorgeous. I start to stutter as I speak “U-um yeah I know where that class is following me.” She follows and I just walk speechless asking myself is this real!? When we finally arrived to the class she said “Thank you by the way i'm Lorrie” holding out her hand for me to shake i look at her and grabbing it and shaking it as I speak i then said “Nice to meet you im Nick and no problem its wasn't a big deal i'm happy to help well i guess we have to go to class now talk later?” She let go of my hand and smiled, her smile gave me butterflies as we walked into class. There were two seats right next to each other and we sat there. During class Lorrie then passed me a note and whispers read it. I started to read the little slip of paper. It was an invitation. It had said “Would you like to come over to my house later today and go to a party with me? It's in a few weeks and we could plan what we would wear you down? I then started to write on the paper saying “Sure how about around 3?” and passed the note back to her. She then nodded her head and smiled. Her smile gets me every time but as i began to talk with her more i figured out she kinda has the same personality as Amy. Then, I thought “Oh dammit I forgot Amy!” I thought to myself I'm a terrible friend. I ditched her for a girl. What type of person am i? When class ended, me and Lorrie walked around till we found Amy. I soon introduced Amy to Lorrie and we all seemed to hit it off pretty well. We started hanging out after school more often Lorrie even started teaching me how to skateboard. Amy seemed to have liked her too. Amy and Lorrie hung out on days I wasn't there but the worst happened on the day of the party. I had missed the bus that day and had to walk to school. It started to rain all of a sudden and I started to run. When I got to school I saw Lorrie and Amy. Lorrie gave Amy the same invitation she gave me and she said she would go to the party. I walk up to them and ask “So Amy’s going to the party to..?'' I said, kinda disappointed. Lorrie said “Yup i gave her the initiation and she said sure she’s gonna be helping us choose what we're gonna wear to the party i was kinda thinking we should go as a group theme!” I was just standing there thinking what I was gonna do. I thought Amy liked Lorrie too. The party was tonight and she just now decides to ask Amy if she wanted to go. What terrible timing. I stared at my shoes while they talked. Soon after a few minutes Lorrie asked me “Are you ok?” i said “Mhm im perfectly fine!” even though I was torn about the whole situation. Then the class bell rings and Lorrie walks to our class and Amy leaves to hers. I went to sit in my spot in class and I just sat there until our teacher came up to my desk and dropped two heavy books on my desk and I flinched as I heard the loud bang of the books dropping down on the desk. The teacher then says “Now that you're here start reading the first paragraph and then pass it down to the next kid!'' I just stare at the teacher as she walks away mocking her. I whisper under my breath “Jesus don’t you ever shut up” giving her the death glare. Lorrie nudges my arm and whispers “You really seem to hate her don’t you?'' I look back at Lorrie and nod my head, still looking mad. After class me and Lorrie meet Amy by the water fountain in the school quad. Amy was the first to ask about the outfits we're gonna wear to the party. She asks “So what’s the theme Lorrie?” Lorrie looks back at me and say’s “I don’t really know any ideas?” I shake my head no. Amy then asked, “What about Neon?” I shrug my shoulders as if I don't seem to care and Lorrie say’s “Sure, that sounds like a cool idea!” After school we all went to Lorrie’s place and found all of her black clothes then we stopped by a store and bought some neon colors and paints. Then we got to work on our outfits. By then it was time to go to the party when we got there everyone was staring at us and saying they loved our outfits. I had left for a few seconds to get some drinks and when I came back to the girls I passed them each one. We all had about 6 or 7 by the time the party was over I walked out to find that Amy had kissed Lorrie. I stopped and just stared by the time they heard me they just stared back. I knew Lorrie didn’t like me. I ran past them crying and they tried to stop me. I pushed them as I passed by them and ran home. The next day I didn't go to school. I had blocked both Amy and Lorrie and sent a message saying “Hope your lives are happier without me.” At school both Lorrie and Amy had been wondering where I had been and they were thinking about the message I had sent them. They were scared of what I might have done or might do. A week passed and they still seemed scared so after school they decided to go over to my house and no one was there but my sister. They asked her where I had been and my sister replied with “I thought she was at school. She got up earlier and had left. What do you mean where is she?” Later that day, I didn't go home. I stayed at my cousin’s house. I knew she wouldn’t snitch on me. We have been best friends since birth. I started to think about how that night after the party changed me. What it made me feel was all of the rage and sadness chasing each other around. I didn't know how to feel. I sat down in the living room where my cousin was watching Tv. She asked, “What is it this time?” I replied with “It’s that one thought from the night of the party.” i said glumly. She looked back at me and asked “When do you think you're gonna get over this girl?” I Just sat there thinking I don’t know when I'll be over her. She was never mine in the first place. I had decided to go to school the next day but instead of taking the bus from home I'd take it to the pier. The next day I walked to the school and there I saw Amy and Lorrie kissing again. I decided I wouldn't let that get in the way of my life. They came up to me to talk to me but I ignored them and walked away. I soon quickly ran into the bathroom and sat on the floor sobbing thinking I was a terrible person. For ignoring them for leaving them for a week for being so useless. I quickly picked up all my stuff that had fallen out of my backpack when I threw it just short after running into the bathroom. I cleaned myself off to stop the crying and strutted out of the girls bathroom. Lorrie had seemed to be waiting for me outside of the class. I had remembered we had made a deal never walk into the classroom without the other unless the other wasn’t there. I quickly ran over and we walked in together. By the end of class I met up with Lorrie even though I was still mad at Amy. I still talked to her but as little as I could. Then Lorrie finally asked the question “Where have you been? Why haven't you texted us? Where were you? Are you ok?” I finally got her to slow down with the question. I then replied with “I was with my cousin.” I stopped to think of a lie for the next question. Then I finally thought of one “I was busy.” I finished the rest of the question after. “I was at my cousin’s house. And I'm perfectly fine.” I had told them. They looked at me and asked if I was sure. I just nodded at them and no other words were spoken about that. I had only one question for them. I then sat up a bit from the floor and asked, “So, are you guy’s dating..?” They nodded at me and replied with “Yup, it was on the night of the party. Why do you ask?” I Just said nothing. After they had said that my head just went silent. That memory on instant replay. As I watched that moment that night over and over and over. I ran to the girls bathroom and both Amy and Lorrie were chasing after me. I sat in the girls bathroom on the floor like I had earlier and again I just sat sobbing. No one was in here with me. I started to hear Amy and Lorrie’s voices echo in the hallways. The faint voices of them asking one another where I had run off in such a hurry. Amy had given up looking and walked over to the girls bathroom to wash her hands before she had to go back to class. As she turned the door handle she noticed the door was locked. I had locked it because i didn’t want anyone to have walked in while i was in here. She then called for Lorrie to help open the door but still couldn’t. I then shouted in anger and rage, “GO AWAY!” Both Amy and Lorrie could hear in my voice how hurt I was. An asked what was wrong. I just sat there in silence then picked myself up and dusted off my clothes. Then slowly unlocked the door and took one step out of the bathroom. Both Amy and Lorrie jumped on top of me and gave me the biggest hug and said they were sorry. I got up and walked away and stared at me in dead silence. Then looked back at one another and just sighed. I walked out of the school and ran home. I sat in the window seal in my room. Thinking how no one would miss me when i'm gone. But I was mainly thinking about how I was going to be gone. How would it affect everyone? So, I set a plan for the next day. I was done with all of the pain everyone had put me through all of the scars and all of the heart breaks I was done. The next day, I stayed home because I told my sister I was “Sick. `` Later my sister had a “date” with this new guy. I didn’t really like him that much. I kinda liked the other guy she was with but she said he was too gullible and weak. I saw a lot of good in him but she just didn’t want him as much as she thought she did. I felt bad for the poor guy. No one and I mean no one wants or likes to get their hearts broken. Anyway, leaving that train of thought. My idea for today was simple. I want my last words to be “Wish me Luck''. Simple, and out there. I got out of bed for the last time i grabbed my grey hoodie off the floor and walked out of my room down the streets and towards the city. I looked for one of the tallest buildings there and after searching for about an hour I found it. I walked to the building and walked in. I asked the lady at the front desk if there was a bathroom and she said “Yup, up the escalator and the 7th door on the left. She didn’t know what I was planning so I walked towards the escalator and rode it all the way to the last story. I found the staircase to the roof and walked up there quickly. 

I wasn’t going to do this. I loved Lorrie.