Lily and Francesca

It’s exactly 5 pm when I find myself waking up in a frenzy on a floor I don’t recognize. This just feels acutely strange. My head is heavy, my chest hurts and my eyes are puffy. Have I been crying? I am in a house that I’m not used to. Colorful and vibrant, opposed to mine that is all white and beige. Everything in here is so crumpled and handmade. Although, why am I here? What am I doing at a place where I shouldn’t be? The house has been silent since I woke up. There is no one here. Did I break in? Where are the people of this house? My head is aching even more. I realize I need water, I somehow gather myself up and go to the kitchen.

‘F-R-A-N-C-E-S-C-A’ reads the wooden letters on the fridge along with a lot of drawings that the whole fridge is covered up with white sheets. However, both the wood carvings and the drawings seem as if they have been forced out of a twelve year old child. All done so unwillingly but all so wanted. Except that drawing of the solar system with the stars made so deliberately prominent. I can relate to that, I never liked art but like the woman on my t-shirt, astrophysics is my thing. I just cannot interpret a bunch of colors smeared on a white canvas and for these drawings, I would hate to misunderstand them so I go to the living room again. I shouldn’t be here. This is a small house with just two bedrooms that aren’t too distant from each other. There are photographs of a couple all around the house. The woman is a brown skinned brunette with hazel eyes and a gap tooth. She is beautiful and the man is similarly tan with deep brown eyes. I don’t think he ever bothered shaving or going to the barber. His hair is so messy but not the messy that those short cliché text stories talk about. They are the kind that exhausts you, the ones that tell that the person is tired. Devoid of energy and insatiable with life. I also notice that while the man hardly smiles, the woman has this smile in all of her photos that don’t match the expression with her eyes, as if she plastered it on her square shaped face. It’s so eerily similar but I mean they are the same person. Why didn’t she ever opt for a different expression? I am overthinking and I need to get out of this place as soon as possible. How did end up here anyway? My mom must be worried and for dad, I am sure he must be in his office unbothered promoting two of those employees that deserved the most. This provides me with a motivation to do something quickly. I search for my phone but I realize that I left it home for it to be replaced by a new one along with a cover that says my name ‘lily’ as promised by dad. I cannot think of anything and my head still hurts. I head towards the door onto the street in front of the rather plain looking brick house to find out that it’s the same street as my neighborhood’s. I find relief, soon I’ll head home. Back to my family. As I start walking, a woman in her late thirties I presume approaches me.

“If you need me or Rayna, we’re here. Never feel hesitant to ask for anything.”

“Um, thanks.” I say awkwardly. I have never seen this woman in my life.

After a walk of about ten minutes, here I am ringing my doorbell. Wait! Where is the space themed ‘Evans’ door sign that mom made. Did she remove it? Is she angry with me because I am late? But it’s just 20 minutes more! I have a pretty decent house, it has a whole driveway and a pool. I feel really lucky to have such hard working parents in my life. I am greeted by an old woman with the most apparent blush on her cheeks. She’s Rhonda, I make out from the tag on her dress. She seems like a new house staff member because I’ve never seen her before.

“Rhonda! I am Lily. I am the daughter that my parents must have told you about. Where is mom?” 

“Miss I-“ She seems surprised.

 So they haven’t told her about me?

 “It’s okay Rhonda. I was stuck in this house and my head hurts but I’ll be fine now. I have you!” I presume that she knows my curfew timings.

Why isn’t she letting me in?

“Rhonda why aren’t you saying anything?” I ask her.

 “Miss I am not sure if I am allowed to answer you.”

She’s got that thick Mexican accent I used to make fun of when dad’s friend Molo visited.

“Oh don’t worry about mom and dad, they aren’t that strict with me. Don’t you think it’s time we establish our friendship?” I assure her.

 “I am sorry miss but I’m not sure if I know you.” Rhonda says, concerned.

“Ah I see, now mom has included you too in her pranks. Alright! ” I assure myself.

 This time she puts a hand between the door and I as if to stop me from entering my own house.

“You cannot do such thing. I don’t know you.” Rhonda sounds angry.

“But I am the daughter of this home. My father is Millen and my mother is Eleanor. This is my only home.” I say, crying.

 Ah my head hurts so much.

 “You are so little. I want you to stop playing games and go home to your mama. She must be so worried. Save her the trouble and return home.”

“Listen, I bet they forgot to tell you about me but I’m their only daughter and we really love each other. This is unacceptable.” I try to convince her.

 Rhonda is increasing her tone, “Kid, I think I would know if the Evans’ had a daughter. I have been a constant family help since I was 53 and now I have entered my sixties.”

 I can’t take it.

“Go home. Return to your parents.”

 Please Rhonda talk slowly.

 “They must be so worried!”

 Stop it.

 “Come on now.”

Now I only hear a meek voice. “Oh my God!”

It feels so light.

So calm.

 It’s so black.

 I am in space mom.

 It’s so silent.

I wake up in a room I assume is of a hospital’s. I have my clothes changed to some faded blue scrubs that do not fit me well. I can smell nothing but sanitation. The door opens abruptly and I see a nurse who’s a man in his early fifties. He looks rather pale.

 “I am sorry, it’s so good that you have finally woken up. Let me call the doctor.”

 ‘Dr. Smith’ enters the room in a matter of mere minutes. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine but how did I come here?”

“I know you have a lot of questions but first I need you to tell me if you know your name.”

“Of course I will remember my own name. It’s Lily. Lily Evans.”

“Okay, Lily, what do you remember last?”

“I was talking to this new staff member Rhonda who claimed to be working for my family since a long time but I’ve never seen her before at my house.”

“Lily could you tell me where is this house of yours and who are your parents?”

“Doctor what’s going on? I am scared. Didn’t my parents brought me here? I thought they’ll know how the new member behaved me. They’ll never forgive her.”

“Lily, if you don’t want to answer right now, it’s okay. We’ll give you more time.”

“No. I live on 13 Park Bleak Street. House number 14 with my parents Millen and Eleanor Evans.”

“Okay. Now Lily, look at her. Do you remember her?”

It’s the woman from the streets!

“Yes, she was the one who offered me hers and someone named Rayna’s help.”

“Why did she offer to help?”

“I don’t know. I just got out of this random house I had no recollection of. It was so vibrant and tiny.”

“Lily, how did you end up at that house anyway?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t remember. I just feel so lost. Why aren’t my parents here?”

“You need to rest. Sleep.”

“No, if you can’t let me meet my parents, please call Helena” I say this in a blurry tone as he injects something. It hurts but blackness paints my eyes and I doze off into emptiness. Space.

“Mrs. Martina, how long have you known Francesca?” asks Dr. Smith that woman from the streets.

“Ever since she was a child. I have been her neighbor even before she was born. What has happened to her? Who is Lily?”

“Francesca has been diagnosed with retrograde amnesia. It’s a type where people lose their memories up to the point when they were diagnosed with it. Which means she remembers nothing since her childhood to this day.”

“Oh Heavens! Why is this happening to her? I knew that bad luck had struck her family but this is worse!”

“Ma’am please calm down, Francesca’s amnesia is a consequence of her sudden trauma caused by the demise of both of her parents in front of her eyes.”

“First her father died of drug overdose and then her mother couldn’t handle the abuse by her own husband. Oh this is so hard. God, what was this child’s fault? She already was forced to smile and was devoid of love. Why this? But doctor, why does she calls herself lily? And to call herself a daughter of the Evans’ is extravagant.”

“This diagnosis accompanies signs of transient amnesia as well. So she may not even remember this conversation. Although, I am not sure if this trauma has changed her ability to think in a certain way. She’s saying things that does not make sense.”

“Will she ever retrieve her memory back?”

“She may, but it might take more than twenty years.”

“Oh lord! But doctor, I do believe that this happened for a reason. As a child she was given a life without love and satisfaction. This little soul deserves so much more.”

“Indeed. As for now, she needs rest.”

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As I open my eyes, I see Ms. Proust. Apart from being my therapist, she’s a dear friend. “Lily! How are you?” she asks.

“I don’t think anything ever happened to me.” I say it honestly.

It’s like always, I come for therapy once a week and Helena accompanies me with her stories over this chocolate drink and then I doze off to sleep. Then why does she seem so concerned today?

“Oh that’s good. Well both Eleanor and Millen are here to pick you up. They are your parents Lily and you are the only child to the Evans‘ family. As for me, I am Helena Proust and I’ll be your therapist.” Helena explains as if for the first time.

“Helena, I already know that. Why are you explaining this to me as if I’ve just been born?”

“Lily, I need you to answer few of my questions.”

“Okay...”

“Do you know who brought you here?”

“Um mom? Like she always does. Well sometimes Stevie, you know our driver drops me when mom’s busy with her school and that Dad is always travelling for his company meetings. Why are you asking this?”

“No reason! Lily, do you know who Rhonda is?”

“I have never heard of her.” I say this as I see my mom enter the room. Why does she look so nervous?

“Mom! Are you okay? I missed you!”

“I am fine honey. Lily can you go check out the playground? I heard they installed new swings.” My mom says excitingly.

“Mom! You know those swings were always there and the one shaped like a duck is my favorite one? I’ll go though.” It really is one of my favorites.

“Helena. What do you think is happening? I know that she has amnesia but how did she know that her name is Lily now? She knew me so well. She knows everything so well! I’ve just seen her once when we took her to you straight out from the adoption center of the hospital. She was still asleep and the doctor seemed so shocked when he knew that I’ll be her new mother.”

“Eleanor, the doctor shrugged it off by saying that it’s mere imagination but I think he knows that it seems too strange. That’s why he suggested you to send her to a personal therapist. Okay, I know I might sound crazy but I feel like a part of her brain is already aware of this. It’s like these permanent premonitions.”

“This is unreal.”

“Although, I don’t know why but she didn’t know Rhonda. Even though I know that Rhonda has been your family’s help since a very long time. I haven’t seen her recently. How is she?”

“Oh, you don’t know? She passed away in a car accident. Millen and I, we wanted to tell people but her going was such a huge loss. She was our only family. It left us both empty. We couldn’t be alone. We wanted a child. After so many failures till infertility, we couldn’t be happier when we heard of Francesca through one of our friends who is an acquaintance with Mrs. Martina but I always wanted to name my child Lily”

“I am so happy for you both, I really am but Rhonda’s demise is really a huge loss. Although, do you think that Lily somehow remembers a certain duration of this life? That’s why she couldn’t know who Rhonda is? Like a period after her death? It intrigues me.”

“I don’t know Helena, all I know is that I want you to keep her healthy and prescribe her everything that will provide her relief and sanity. I’ll bring her once a week. I don’t care if she knows anything, or nothing. She is my daughter now. I want her just as she is.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you all happy and secure. All the best Helena. It’s a new life for you all.”

“Thank you so much. Also, what do you think of this door sign? I made this space themed for Lily as the first time I saw her, she was wearing a t-shirt with Kalpana Chawla on it. Do you think she’ll like it?”