Something in those Whispers

Submitted into Contest #64 in response to: Set your story in a Gothic manor house.... view prompt

38 comments

Horror Suspense Mystery

Satan was prayed from every single extremity of the world on this night of the full moon. It was believed that on this very night, the dark magic was utmost powerful and could destroy even the practitioner if mistaken.

The wolves howled louder, the forests were quieter, the winds produced whispers, and the fear of awakening of the devil escalated all around. Every single human in that town stayed inside their homes, lighting the lamp of hope. It was believed back then if the lamp of hope was burning, no evil could harm an innocent, only if that were true. The dark magic overcame even the very bit of the lamp’s power that night. Over the years, it grew stronger and darker.

The only way for people to not get harmed by the power of the dark magic was to practice it themself. They were forced to learn the spells and perform them on their families. The practitioners forced them to chant,

 “The devil will arise and bless us all. Wealth will find us only the sacrifice may not fall.”

The same night arrived next year. The past year changed the course of this town. Everything went dead. No flowers, no pure drinking water in the lake, no smile or laughter was heard, and most importantly, no one was capable of love anymore.

Maya was passing the town with her group of friends that night, unaware of the existence of the dark magic.

She had long black hair, and her lips were red like a rose. She wore skinny black jeans and an embroidered peach top.

There were five people in all, along with Maya. Rahul, who was Maya’s brother. He was quite shy and as tall as a coconut tree.

Aditya was her boyfriend, who was the smartest of them all, and so everyone agreed to the decisions he made.

The other two love-birds, Divya and Aayan, were her college BFFs. They were the most awkward couple anyone had ever seen.

Rahul, Maya’s brother was in love with Divya. Two years ago, just a glance at Divya who was at their home with Maya, working on a project, made Rahul fall for her. Divya had no idea of that. Only Maya knew that as Rahul asked her to keep it a secret.

There came an obstacle along the way, indicating some strange feelings to Maya. The car got punctured on the way, at midnight.

Exiting the car, Rahul told Aditya, ‘Open the car’s bonnet. Let me check what’s wrong.’

‘How can you be such an idiot? Females get attracted to you only because of your looks. The car just got punctured, dumb ass.’ Said Aditya.

Everyone laughed, but Maya. She couldn’t get over the strange jitters she was facing.

‘Let me check in the back for a jack and a spare wheel.’ Said Aditya, and went to the backside.

While he was reaching the back, a warm breeze at a chilly night whistled near his ears. He froze for a while and then moved ahead.

Maya observed that weird pause he took through the car’s mirror. She got extremely worried. Running out of the car, she tried to reach him and ask if everything was okay.

Aditya took an unanticipated spin and faced Maya. ‘The spare wheel isn’t in the car. It is in the garage near the house. I just recalled that I left it there. I guess we have to spend the night here.’ Said Aditya briskly.

That statement of his felt bizarre to Maya. ‘Are you out of your mind?’ She said and added, 'How can we spend the night in this spooky place? We don’t know anybody here. Also, the car isn’t enough for the five of us.’

Aditya ignored her statement. Moving towards the group, who was sitting in the car, he advised, ‘We will have to spend the night here. I left the spare wheel in the garage. By the morning, we will find a mechanic in the town.’

‘I can’t sleep in the car. Plus, it’s on an empty road. We have to find a safe place to spend the night first.’ Explained Divya.

Everyone agreed to her while Maya objected by saying, ‘Are you all out of your mind? Can’t you guys see how spooky this place is! Let me try and call somebody for help, or book a cab.’

Maya tried calling, but the phone showed “No Service.” She walked for quite a while, in the expectation to find a network, but she couldn’t.

While turning back, she felt somebody’s presence by her side. She screamed for help from her friends, who were not so far away, but they couldn’t hear her. She then hastily ran aiming for the car, and thankfully reached there.

Not only she was scared to death, but her nose started bleeding as well. As she entered the car, she said, ‘Look… Why is my nose bleeding?’

‘No, it isn’t.’ said Aayan.

She panicked and looked in the mirror of the car, and her nose looked perfectly fine.

‘Did you call a cab or what?’ asked Rahul, her brother.

‘I couldn’t find any service.’ Answered Maya.

‘Then let’s find a safe place to spend the night.’ Told Divya.

‘Yeah. Let’s go to the manor I saw earlier. We will be safe and comfortable there.’ Said Aditya.

Everyone agreed to him as always and started walking.

Maya still couldn’t get rid of those jitters and also, felt that something was wrong with her boyfriend, Aditya.

***

The manor was huge. The entry gate was broken, so anyone could break-in. It looked as if the manor was hundreds of years old, and no one stayed in there. The lake in front of the manor was prolonged and deep at the center. The water in it seemed drinkable, and the huge tree beside it was the house of bats.

As they opened the door, it made a cracking noise, allowing some other bats who were inside the manor to exit the hall. The bats flew right above them, over that same tree.

As they entered in, Rahul said, ‘There's no light. Find some candles.’

Aditya switched on his phone’s torch and went forward. He opened a cabinet that was situated across the hall, where he found some candles.

‘How did you know they were here?’ Asked Maya.

‘Don’t you see any horror films? The candles are always where you don’t expect them to be.’ He answered.

‘Yes, I was gonna do the same, but this smarty pants figured it right before me.’ Said Rahul.

‘No, you were not. Liar.’ Told Divya.

They light up the candles, and the manor was clearly visible now.

From the inside, the belongings looked dusty and were covered with a white cloth. The things in there were quite antique and beautiful.

‘How can somebody not live in this beautiful house?’ Asked Maya while perceiving every antique and furniture in the hall.

‘Maybe someone was killed in here.’ Said Aditya.

They got scared.

‘Do you think so?’ Asked Divya.

‘I am just kidding. You guys are so easily convinced with what I say.’ Aditya replied.

‘Something seems off with you.’ Told Maya, looking towards Aditya.

‘No, I feel perfectly fine. You stop making stories in your head.’ He said.

‘I have to pee.’ Said Divya.

‘Okay, I will come with you.’ Told Aayan.

‘I really have to pee, you idiot. I don’t want to have sex with you in this creepy place. Maya, come with me please.’ Said Divya.

Aayan was flushed, and embarrassed at the same time.

As they both leave to find a bathroom, the candle in Maya’s hand flickered out when they reached upstairs.

‘How will we find the bathroom now?’ asked Divya.

‘Don’t worry, let’s find a room. It will have a bathroom in it.’ Said Maya.

As they entered a room, a rocking chair was moving, which scared Maya.

‘Don’t worry. The window is broken, so the wind is making the chair move.’ Said Divya. ‘Oh, here it is. Be right back.’ She continued, locating a bathroom.

‘Please hurry. I don’t feel very well being along in here.’ Said Maya.

As Maya was waiting for Divya to come, she found an old newspaper which had the following headline written on it:

“The Psychiatrist living in the manor Kills Himself after killing one of his Patient!”

Maya started reading further and as Divya came out, Maya told her, ‘One of the patients was released by the psychiatrist who lived here. That patient killed his daughter. In anger, the psychiatrist killed that patient with a knife, and hanged himself in this room.’

‘What!’ exclaimed Divya alarmingly. She added, ‘Let’s tell this to the boys.’

They went downstairs along with the newspaper and informed the boys about it.

‘Woah, that is interesting. The psychiatrist must be a psycho as well.’ Said Aayan.

(Aditya punches Aayan)

‘What is wrong with you man?’ screamed Aayan.

‘I… I don’t know. I just don’t like it when you say something bad about him.’ Explained Aditya.

‘About who? The one who killed his patient?’ asked Aayan.

‘He didn’t mean to do that. That patient killed his daughter. He was left with no other choice. He killed himself because he couldn’t stand the fact that he killed one of his patients.’ Said Aditya.

‘How the fuck do you know this?’ asked Maya.

‘I just do.’ He replied.

Everyone got scared of him, and out of nowhere, a boy came into the mansion.

‘You, the one standing alone, come with me. My master has sent me to get you.’ He said.

He was 5 feet tall and was wearing a black gown. His eyes were black, even his sclera, and his voice was deep like a man.

‘Who me?’ asked Maya.

‘Yes, you.’ The boy answered.

‘I am not going anywhere with you. And what master? Are you sleepwalking or what?’ she commented and laughed.

‘Don’t make me force you.’ He said.

‘You go away from here. Right now!’ said Rahul walking towards him in anger, to beat him up.

The boy chanted something, and that pushed Rahul right across the hall.

Aayan ran towards Rahul to help him.

‘What the fuck? Do you have some supernatural powers?’ asked Divya.

‘It is the power of dark magic.’ He said and continued, ‘Now come with me, or else I will kill your brother.’

‘Wh.. how.. oh, no, please don’t do anything like that!’ cried Maya.

‘Dark Magic! I won’t let you take her or anyone.’ Said Aditya with vexation.

He went to the boy to stop him. The boy tried his best to throw him away, but his powers didn’t work on him.

‘I am the spirit of god. And I will defeat you!’ said Aditya.

Everyone else was watching the fight between them. No one uttered a word as they were blown seeing the strength of Aditya.

He defeated the boy, and when that happened, his eyes turned back to normal. The boy cried like a baby in front of them.

When Maya was about to ask the boy about all that was happening in the town, a white light emerged from upstairs, and that was the spirit of the psychiatrist.

Everyone was horrified, but the boy. He wasn’t new to any of this. He told the spirit, ‘Why did you wait so long? We all are miserable here. The practitioner forces us to perform dark magic and gains our power in bad deeds.’

The spirit said, ‘Yes, I am aware of that. But only a person who is from out of this town can break the power of dark magic. Your blood runs from the people of this town who’s dead remains are used to gain the power by the practitioners to perform dark magic. So, you cannot save this town alone. I have waited for hundreds of years to do something good for the town, so my soul finds peace.’

He said further, ‘I need your help, Aditya. When I saw you pass by, I thought to stop you guys, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to force anything on you. When the car got punctured, that felt like a sign from the god himself. So that’s when I entered into you. I brought you all here to ask for help. I know how to save this town, but I cannot do it as I am restricted to enter the forest. Any spirit unrelated to the dark magic cannot enter there. If I enter the forest, I will become their slave and will have to give my powers to them for eternity.’

‘We.. we won’t help you. We have our families back there. We cannot be involved in this deadly mission.’ Said Aditya.

‘Yes, we cannot.’ Said Maya. ‘A few hours ago, we didn’t believe in ghosts, and all of a sudden you want us to help you into this supernatural stuff?! No way. I am sorry. Please, find someone else for this job.’ She explained.

‘Dude, the people in this town are forced into bad stuff. How can you not help them? And it is a good time for us to do something good for the world. Don’t back off. I am in.’ said Divya.

Rahul and Aayan nodded.

‘Are you all out of your fucking minds? No, we are not doing this.’ Said Maya.

‘Yes, we are. You are not the one to decide always. I am with these guys. Maya and Aditya, if you are not interested then stay here. We will go to the forest and help those innocents.’ Said Rahul.

‘Yes, we will. You can have fun there.’ mocked Aditya.

‘Oh, don’t worry. We will.’ told Divya.

‘But, how are we going to stop them?’ asked Aayan to the spirit.

‘When you enter the forest, the practitioners will know that you are in their territory. They know Maya is here because when she left to find a network on her phone, her aura was felt by those people, as she was scared. They know she was not alone and when their power didn’t work to find her, they understood that you were hiding here. Their power is weak in here, as I have the hope of lamp here with the blood of an auspicious person.’

‘Oh my god! They know about me. I cannot go out there at all.’ Said Maya hugging Aditya.

‘I won’t force you to do anything against your will, Maya.’ Said the spirit.

Maya felt guilty, but her guilt wasn’t enough to overcome her fear.

The spirit informed, ‘You have to be prepared to face the devil. These people worship him and they don’t believe in the existence of God. Once you make them believe in something they don’t, the fear will overcome their dark magic. Fear will weaken their energy, and that’s when you will use my lamp of hope on the dark art they have created in the center of the forest. You will have to burn it. They will do everything in their power to stop you, but you don’t let their illusions and power weaken you.’

***

They understood all the instructions and techniques provided by the spirit to defeat dark magic. The boy helped them locate the forest and taught them how to burn down the dark art, so the dark magic will backfire on the practitioner himself. And that’s when they left, tying a tread onto their wrists. The thread was soaked in auspicious water to protect them from power of the dark magic.

Maya and Aditya stayed in. The lamp of hope was with their friends, so to protect Maya, the boy used a cloaking spell.

As the rest of them entered the forest, no power of dark magic was felt. They went deeper inside the forest, and when they were about to reach the dark art, Divya started screaming.

The practitioner was right in front of her in a black cloak that covered his whole body, but face. His eyes were bloody red, and blackness surrounded him. He said, ‘You amateurs fell so easily into my trap. I knew the boy won't stand the spirit of the psychiatrist. And that’s why I used my power to listen to you with his ears. Get ready to be defeated.’

Divya and Aayan were scared while Rahul jumped right in front of him, and tried to trap him into believing god. But he failed.

The lamp of hope was losing its power. And that is when the practitioner along with his other slaves, attacked them.

Maya came right in the middle, providing time for Divya to burn down the dark art. The dark art burned with the practitioner and so did Maya.

The rest of the people trapped by the power of dark magic in the town were freed from the devil.

‘I tried to stop her, but she didn’t listen.’ Told Aditya to the rest of his friends.

Everyone mourned Maya’s sacrifice, and that’s when the spirit came to finish his last work.

‘She said she loves you and her family. The boy protecting her has been torn apart from his family by the dark powers. She couldn’t stand the fear approaching in his eyes with the thought of losing his family. So, she came to save you all. She told me to tell you that she will be seeing you from the sky and wants you to be happy whenever you think of her.’ He said and vanished like dust in the air.

“It’s not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What’s hard, she said, is figuring out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.” – Shauna Niequist

October 23, 2020 10:59

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38 comments

Anjali Gangwani
06:07 Oct 25, 2020

Nice one!! Very Engaging 😄❤

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Prachi Kumbhare
18:17 Oct 25, 2020

Thank you so much, Sissyyy! 😘❤

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Ranjit Nair
05:01 Oct 24, 2020

Great one !👍

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Prachi Kumbhare
15:39 Oct 24, 2020

Thank you, Ranjit! ☺☺

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L.A. Nolan
06:32 Oct 30, 2020

Hello Prachi., I enjoyed your story and see you have a knack for weaving tales! Your characters were alive and leapt off the page and your scene setting was sharp and descriptive. Over all the dark tone was well portrayed. The story was interesting and kept me engaged until the end. There were a few grammatical errors though, particularly with your dialogue. ‘How can you be such an idiot? Females get attracted to you only because of your looks. The car just got punctured, dumb ass.’ Said Aditya. - comma after ass and lower case "s"...

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Prachi Kumbhare
15:08 Nov 03, 2020

Hello!! Thank you so much!! I am really glad that you enjoyed it. Yes!!! Okay... I tend to fall into passive voice and my adverb usage is a lot... I will keep that in mind and avoid it as much as possible!! Thank you so much for your review and I surely will read your piece and let you know my views over it. :)

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Simran Krishnani
15:33 Oct 28, 2020

Keep writing!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Prachi Kumbhare
16:30 Oct 28, 2020

Thank you! ☺

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Laurentz Baker
21:48 Oct 27, 2020

Well written. Good visuals

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Prachi Kumbhare
14:00 Oct 28, 2020

Thank you, Elliott! :)

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Dhruv Ramanuj
05:26 Oct 27, 2020

It went like woooshhh !!! Great work,,keep writing 👍

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Prachi Kumbhare
13:11 Oct 27, 2020

Thank you so much, Dhruv! ❤😌

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Jugal Shah
04:21 Oct 27, 2020

Good one!!🔥

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Prachi Kumbhare
13:11 Oct 27, 2020

Thank you so much, Jugal! ☺❤

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03:08 Oct 27, 2020

Noiceeeeee😍😍😍😍

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Prachi Kumbhare
03:57 Oct 27, 2020

Thank you ❤☺

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Hardee Shah
17:39 Oct 26, 2020

Great! I could imagine the charactors playing alive in front of me. Keep writing Prachi 👍

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Prachi Kumbhare
19:00 Oct 26, 2020

I'm glad you could have that experience. Thank you so much, aunty! ☺❤

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Monu Limje
04:53 Oct 25, 2020

Thay was good!!! specially the scene narration of starting when car got punctured and sequences of that... Great👌

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Prachi Kumbhare
18:16 Oct 25, 2020

Thank you so much!! 😊❤

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Dhairyaa Pandya
13:35 Oct 24, 2020

Brilliant!!!❤️❤️❤️🎉

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Prachi Kumbhare
15:40 Oct 24, 2020

Thank you so much, Dhairyaa! 😍❤

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Leena Jetawat
05:38 Oct 24, 2020

Very interesting, had me on my toes for the whole time ,enjoyed the story😊❤️

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Prachi Kumbhare
15:40 Oct 24, 2020

Thank you so much, Leena! ☺❤

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Rutika Khavadia
03:36 Oct 24, 2020

It's Very interesting . Keep writing 👍👍

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Prachi Kumbhare
15:40 Oct 24, 2020

Thank you, Rutika!! ☺☺

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Kajal Mehta
20:09 Oct 23, 2020

Awesome...❤🥰 Last quote is 100% correct❤... Keep writing more..🤩

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Prachi Kumbhare
15:41 Oct 24, 2020

Thank you so much, Kajal! ❤😍☺

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14:17 Oct 23, 2020

Very nice, keep it up ❤😊

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Prachi Kumbhare
16:27 Oct 23, 2020

Thank you very much! 😘☺

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Kruti Mehta
12:19 Oct 23, 2020

Loved it ❤ horror is better 😄 more power to maya and aditya

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Prachi Kumbhare
16:27 Oct 23, 2020

Thank you so much!! Yeah ❤😊

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Anshul Gaur
12:16 Oct 23, 2020

I really enjoyed reading this one!🤘🏻❤️ It's just like a short movie!! 🤩 Keep writing!!😍👍

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Prachi Kumbhare
14:16 Oct 23, 2020

Thank you so much!! 😍❤☺

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11:55 Oct 23, 2020

I loved it.. ❤️

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Prachi Kumbhare
14:15 Oct 23, 2020

Thank you so much! ☺☺

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Krutik Kansara
11:30 Oct 23, 2020

I dont have time right now to read it but I will read it in 5 to 6 days. Keep it up.😍

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Prachi Kumbhare
11:32 Oct 23, 2020

Sureee. No problem.. Thankyou!!!

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