Tucker and the Blonde Puppy

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."

Violet found that principle rather hard to understand. All the quotes from all the dusty books in all the cobweb-laced libraries seemed to look over people like her: people who could stop time.

If Violet had to divide her identity into two parts, she would put her strange ability on one side and her coping mechanisms on the other side. That was ironic because Violet didn't have coping mechanisms. She lied and pretended and twisted her way away from moving on in only the slyest of ways. It was what she was good at. Not one of the books she had read told her how to let the grief slide over her in giant waves that would surely topple her heart to its knees and make her painfully vulnerable.

But Violet wasn't sure there was no other way. Weakness was simply that- weakness and she didn't like it one bit. She learned from a young age that people were scared of the unknown. She was frightfully unknown with her big curious eyes and her mysterious powers. So people were scared of her, then they hated her, and finally, they left her all alone.

Perhaps that was why this particular memory was the one Violet instinctually went back to.

To the outside eye, Violet had little reason to continue reliving this memory. Her situation was as bad as it had ever been.

She was 15 and already homeless. Her family was scared, the neighbors were scared, the government was scared. The latter wanted to confine her in a government-funded laboratory for testing and her family had willingly agreed. The saying goes that blood is thicker than water, but Violet had learned that nothing was thicker than fear.

Uncle Nicolas had smuggled her onto a train headed east and pressed a thin card and a burner phone into her hand. He'd mumbled something about how the world was unfair and the best people were not long for it. She hadn't understood, but she hadn't asked either.

Violet discovered that she wasn't the only thing that people pushed away and ran from. Humans were fickle and they grew tired of things easily. There were buildings that sagged and creaked and howled when the wind blew through them. They looked a little different from the other buildings, but Violet didn't understand why they had been abandoned. Although she was always on the move, she tried to clean them up a little when she stayed the night. It felt like the right thing to do. It reminded her of Uncle Nicolas and how he always did the right thing even if it was hard and terrifying.

But it wasn't just Violet and the buildings. Humans threw away animals too. Sure the puppy was a little skinny and he cried at first, but Violet couldn't figure out why he'd been abandoned. Maybe he was like her somehow.

It didn't really matter though. Violet quickly discovered that animals had a far greater capacity for love than humans did. That was a great part of the reason she relived this specific memory so often.

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She sat on the bare floor crying. Nobody wanted her. She was a nail pounded crookedly into the wall, horribly out of place and with no real purpose.

Her head ached and her chest was compressed so tightly that breathing felt wrong.

If she'd had any good memories she would play them now- regardless of whether she imagined she deserved them or not. Part of the awful sadness and crushing fear felt deserved and right, but mostly Violet just wanted to feel nothing.

Suddenly Tucker bounded up to her and shoved his snuffling nose into her face.

The border collie had been staring intensely at her for a few long minutes before he decided that the obvious course of action was to comfort his odd little puppy.

"Tucker, not now, I'm sad and I don't want you to be sad," said the blonde puppy.

Tucker tilted his head in confusion for a moment. He understood what the puppy was saying, but he didn't believe she fully understood. He must not be trying hard enough to make her feel better.

With a huff, he put his front paws on her knee and peered into her face.

Hm, still crying.

He rested his head against her cheek and stood there silently until the puppy put her hands on his furry chest.

Good. He breathed in and out in deep breaths and soon his puppy did the same, feeling his chest go up and down and doing the same with hers.

Tucker moved his head and stared at her face. Then he licked her cheek proudly. She was a whiny puppy and the outside world bullied her too much for Tucker's liking, but she was a good friend and Tucker loved her with his whole heart.

"I love you, Tuck," she said, laughing as he covered her face with kisses.

Tucker woofed. He knew she'd understand.

"Tucker you know you're the only person who loves me in this whole world?"

Tucker woofed again indignantly.

As if! He was no more person than Violet was. Persons were NOT nice Tucker had decided. He and his puppy had been outcast from the person world and quite frankly Tucker wanted nothing more to do with it.

Violet laughed again and Tucker panted happily. His puppy had a nice laugh, it always made his tail wag excitedly. At any rate, her laugh was much better than her whining.

He flopped down beside her and rested his shaggy head on her leg.

"Tuck, let's go find some food, yeah?"

Tucker stared up at her with adoring eyes. He wasn't going to move any time soon. Oh, how fortunate it was that Violet thought he didn't understand what she said.

For the next hour, he stared dumbly at her while she tried to coax him to move.

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With a slight rush of wind that ruffled through her hair, Violet restarted time.

The little grave was neat and tidy as always. The faded dog collar was beginning to mildew and the grass was tall over the barely perceptible raise in the dirt.

Violet crouched beside it and put her bunch of wildflowers against the grave.

"Rest easy Tucker," she whispered, "I'm so alone without you, but I know you're ok so I really don't mind it."

Tucker would have known she was lying. He would have put his paws on her knee and stared into her face worriedly.

Nothing moved. Somehow Violet always hoped the little grave would come alive and Tucker would come bounding out, barking joyously and licking her face as if it had all been a bad dream. But he couldn't. He was long gone and Violet was alone again.

The sun sank below the earth and the only thing that moved was Violet's hair in the breeze as she knelt beside Tucker's resting place.