Smoke

TW: racial discrimination

He sat there staring at the wall intensely as though his life or someone else’s depended on his reply. I decided it would be best if I stayed quiet so that I wouldn’t affect his decision. He looked down at me in an analyzing way. “Alright.” Excitement shot up my spine and I rushed to hug him. 

“Thank you, Dad! You won’t regret it!” I dashed over into my brother's room to share the shocking news. He was sitting at his desk engrossed in a book. “Jimmy, guess what? Dad said that I am allowed to go to Camp Sitting Duck next month!”

 Without lifting his eyes from the book, he moaned, “How thrilling.” I rolled my eyes as I headed to the kitchen. The strong smell of spicy beef filled the air. My mother noticed me and immediately halted what she was doing. 

“Thank you, Mom, for speaking to Dad for me!” Her smile was genuine as she spoke. 

“You’re most welcome, Freddy! Now go wash up, dinner’s almost finished.” I did as was told and washed my hands. When I came back, I helped Dad set the table then we all sat down to eat. Afterwards, I kissed my family goodnight and hopped into bed. However, sleep never came. I was too excited for camp and for the rest of the month, that was all I talked about. 

When the day finally came, I was already packed and motivated to go. My family went with me to the bus stop, despite it only being a block away. 

“Did you pack your toothbrush?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“How about your sunscreen?”My head tensed up, and I took a deep breath before speaking.

“Mom, I’ll be fine! I’m eleven now.” She took a step towards me and massaged her fingers through my scalp. 

“I know, I’m just worried that--” She started to tear up as her words faded off. The bus pulled up and it was time to say goodbye. I gave my mom a big hug and let her know not to worry. Jimmy was still carrying the book. I didn’t expect much from him, as he had already made it clear that the house would be much quieter.

My dad had been quiet the whole time. I gave him a hug, then grabbed my suitcase to go on the bus when he stopped me. His hand was on my shoulder with his eyes staring straight into mine, “Don’t forget who you are and who they are. This family has had a good reputation for years in the community, don’t you go off changing that.” I nodded. I waved a last goodbye to my family then headed up in the bus. 

I took a seat in the back next to the window. I placed my suitcase and belongings on the rack above me then sat down. There were kids of all ages on the bus, who were just like me. Excited voices filled the air as everyone seemed to be talking. It was a long trip but towards the later part, the excitement seemed to die down as kids were getting books out for quiet entertainment. I decided to take a small nap and when I woke up, the bus’s atmosphere returned to the giddy mood it had been when we first started. We were not far from the camp and kids had begun to put their stuff away.

As we pulled up into the entry, everyone’s faces were pressed against the windows in awe.Trees scattered the land. I saw a lake in the distance and smiled. When the bus came to a halt, everyone clumsily took their stuff and piled out. As I stepped off the bus, I was ushered over to a building. I walked with a group of kids and we went inside. A tall man with a long beard read off what kids would be staying at each cabin. I was assigned Cabin C. We were all given a pamphlet that had the map, rules, and the schedule on it. I found Cabin C on the map and followed a group of kids going in that direction. The log cabin was small with a few windows. I went inside and was greeted by a man about thirty. 

“I’m Joshua, I’ll be your counselor for this week.” 

I shook his hand then replied, “I’m Freddy! Good to meet you.” 

“You’ll be assigned over here. Make sure to follow the rules and be nice to everyone! And of course, have fun!” He winked at me then walked over to another kid in the cabin. 

I decided to take the top bunk and tossed my sleeping bag on. I placed my suitcase underneath the bunk and began to unpack some of my other belongings. 

A kid with brown hair and freckles walked over to me and introduced himself. “Hey, I’m Walter! I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before?” 

I finished putting the last of my things in a drawer then turned to speak, “I’m Fred, I’ve never been to a camp before. How about you?” 

He laughed as though I just insulted his entire existence. “I’ve been coming to this camp ever since I was five! This will be my sixth year in a row!” His face glowed as he spoke. “Come on, I’ll show you around!” We walked down through the cabins into the main center of camp. Walter and I walked down a path towards the lake. The smell of fresh fish lingered in the air. We walked over onto the dock and looked out across the lake. The cool, refreshing water looked so inviting that even the sun took notice as it shimmered. 

“We get to go swimming here all week! Won’t that be fun?! Last year, I caught the biggest fish out of everyone!” He linked arms then ran over back to the central spot of camp. He showed me the mess hall, the game room, the playing field, and even the showers. As the sun went down we decided to return to the cabin. On the way, we passed a group of kids. I looked closely then noticed one of the kids. So they are here. I glared then ran back to where Walter was. He looked at me strangely. “What were you looking at?”

“Nothing, I just didn’t realize that this was that kind of a camp.” Walter looked down at where the kids were, but they had gone inside by then. He shrugged, then raced me to the cabin. 

Inside, we were told to wash our hands then meet as a group in the living space. We washed up then took a seat on the ground with everyone else. There were a lot more kids here now and each one was the same. When everyone was present, Joshua told us to go around telling our names and one thing about ourselves. A kid with glasses went first then a kid after him until it was finally our turn. Walter went first, explaining that he had come to this camp for a while now.

When it was my turn I began to speak, “I’m Freddy. This is my first time at a camp and I’m very glad that I’m bunking with all of you people!” I sat back down and then listened to what the others had to say until we were all finished. The counselor gave us a quick speech on manners then led us off to the mess hall for dinner. 

One of the kids from my group walked over to me,“I have strict parents too, so I know what you're going through.” 

My eyebrows pinched and I asked, “What makes you think I have strict parents?”

“Why haven’t your parents let you come to camp before?” 

I laughed as I finally understood what was going on. “Oh no, my parents aren’t strict, they were just protecting me.”

“From what?”

“People. Some people out there aren’t as intelligent as us and can be dangerous, so they wanted me to stay in a place with good people.” The kid looked at me strangely, shrugged, then said goodbye and left. I watched as the boy left and became super worried. Poor kid wasn't educated as I was. My dad said that was common.I looked around but couldn’t see the kid from earlier. The line finally moved up and Walter and I both dished up our plates. I followed Walter over to a table and sat down. The room was loud now with raised voices from each table. We were talking about what we were looking forward to in the following days when I saw the kid from the other cabin come over. He sat on the far side of the table with a few others. Naturally, I stood up to leave. I nudged Walter to follow, but he just sat there stubbornly and continued talking. 

“Walter, come on, we need to go!” He shook his head confused. I rolled my eyes in frustration then walked over to a new table. A few moments later, Walter joined me. The table was in the corner and was vacant. 

“What’s going on, Fred? Come back to the table, you’re missing some good conversations!” He grabbed my arm and started to go over, but I didn’t budge. 

“Are you crazy? I can’t sit there with him at the table!” I gestured towards the kid, and Walter looked over at him then back at me.

“I don’t see the problem.” His voice was full of confusion that it made me mad. 

“Why don’t you get it? Just go!” His face became flustered then he stormed off to the table. He’s a fool. All of them are, I thought. I looked over at the one kid and glared. 

After dinner, we all went to the cabin and got ready for bed. Walter kept looking over at me, but never said anything. I certainly wasn’t going to talk with him after what happened. That night, I couldn’t sleep. I was full of anger at the kids. Why had they not left? 

In the morning, we all went to breakfast then had two hours of free time. I didn't talk to Walter or any of the others for the full rest of the day. The next day, however, Walter came over to me after breakfast. I was sitting on the dock alone.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” I felt weird talking to him.

“Sorry for Monday.” 

“Me too.” I wasn’t really sorry. There was a long silence, then he spoke again.

“Do you wanna go hang out with me and the others? We’re going to play tag in the trees.” I glared. 

“Will he be there?” Walter looked at me confused. 

“Who?”

“The kid from dinner the other night. You know!” My voice got higher as I spoke. “What is wrong with all of you? It’s like he's got you under their spell.” 

“Stop saying they! He’s got a name you know!” 

“So does every other creature on Earth, but that doesn’t make them human!” My last comment made Walters' knuckles tighten. 

“Have you even met the kid?” 

“I’m told not to communicate with them.” Walter stomped his foot. 

“What the heck! Listen I don’t know what you think you know, but you better check your sources. Because you’re wrong. He won’t be with us, he’s hanging out with his cabin right now. So come on, let’s stop arguing and play.”

I reluctantly stood up. “Fine.” I followed Walter to the group where we started to play until we became wiped out from running. We decided to go to the gaming room. As we went inside, a group of kids were already at the tables. They agreed then let us sit with them. As we were playing, the same kid walked out from the bathroom and came to sit by us. I immediately stood up and went for the door. Everyone behind me became super quiet and then Walter sprang up after me. 

“Dude, what’s wrong with you? Why won’t you play with him?” I rolled my eyes, 

“As I’ve told you before, I don’t associate with them.” Then I stormed out. 

I went and sat on a bench outside. How are they all okay with this? Is my family the only one who is sensible enough to know that they are bad? I studied him from a distance for the next couple of days. He was behaving normally. He can’t be normal, it doesn’t make sense. They’re different, not one of us. I began to regret coming at all. Walter eventually came to me before breakfast one morning. 

“Could you just talk to the kid?”

“No! I don’t want to talk to it! That’s stupid!” I scoffed. Walter walked off sorrowfully. I went to dinner that day and sat by the other kids I had been sitting with for the past couple of days when he came. He signaled me to go outside and I reluctantly followed him. 

“I’m not going to waste my time talking to you.” I said, then started to walk off when he stopped me. It was the first time I had heard him speak, but I continued to face the building.

  “Listen, I’ve met people like you before. It’s nothing new. I’m only here to talk to you because Walter wanted me to. I don’t care about what you think of me, I’m just sorry you don’t know any better. You can go now if you want.” 

My head hurt and I became angry. “No! You’re lying! I’m not confused! You're the wrong one!” Tears began to well in my eyes and I turned to look at him face to face for the first time.He had soft eyes and a thin face. He ran off back into the mess hall. I shook my head and yelled. “No, no, no! This doesn’t make sense!” I ran off to the cabin and collapsed to the floor. My fist slammed to the ground and I began to sob. I lay there for what seemed like hours when Joshua came up behind me. He helped me off the ground and walked me to the couch. 

“I don’t understand.” The words barely came out of my mouth.

“It’s not your fault.” His voice was a soft whisper. “You’re only eleven and you were taught differently. They’re adults who believe that they are right and become horrible creatures.” I thought about it long and hard. 

“But aren’t they different? They’re stupid and are below us like dogs, but they try to fit in and trick us! So why was he different? He looked like me--but he’s not like me at all! He’s...” My voice began to shake and I hung my head low. “I didn’t mean to--I’m sorry--I thought...they were bad but I guess...cause when I spoke with him, he was normal. He plays normal. He speaks normal.” I didn’t realize what I was saying anymore,I just spoke trying to figure it all out. Joshua rubbed my shoulder as I sat there staring at the wall.

 I went to bed early that night. Apparently Joshua told them that I was feeling ill and he later talked with the other kid. The next morning, the bus came and I said goodbye to Walter. I never ended up knowing the kids name. I just packed up my stuff and went back on the bus. The trip seemed faster than usual and when I was home, I took a nap right away. 

I woke up and told my family about my trip. I told them about Walter and the games we played. I told them of the fun lake and the delicious food we had. I even told them about the bus ride there and back. My mom eagerly listened to every detail. 

“I’m so glad you had fun!” The smell of the chicken mom was cooking on the stove made my stomach growl. My dad was listening from the other side of the table as mom continued to cook. 

“Did you encounter any of them there?” I hesitated, then nodded. His face tightened as he continued, “Well, you better not have spoken with any.” 

“I talked with one boy, it wasn’t actually too bad.” My mother froze in the kitchen and looked at my father. He gave me a grave look that made my spine shiver. My mother walked in and sat down. Her face tightened too. 

“Son, you failed.” His voice was shallow. “They tricked you, and you weren’t strong enough to stop them.” Jimmy came in from the living room and left his book on the table. 

“I knew we shouldn’t have let him go.”  Jimmy hissed, and he looked at me with such disappointment. “The community will never let him stay.” My dad looked at Jimmy and shook his head. My mom then smiled and looked over at Dad. I felt invisible as they spoke.

“I know, what if he goes to work with you? Then the community has to accept him, and he’ll learn just like Jimmy did.” Dad smiled too, and then turned towards me. 

“How about that? Would you like to go to work with me?” I smiled brightly. I always wanted to go with dad to his job. The neighbor kid said that they get to have s'mores afterwards. 

“Yes, Dad! Can I wear the robe and hats too!?” 

Mom laughed, “Yes Freddy, you can wear the hat, but not until we get there.” They all looked at each other as though they were about to become the proudest family ever. I got excited and ran to my room to grab my outfit. I put the white mask on and giggled as I felt like a gnome. As I put on my shoes, my nose wrinkled and I started to cough as the chicken on the stove began to burn and the black smoke drifted into the room.