15 comments

Adventure Fantasy Romance

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

A serpent slithers through the desert. It drags its colossal body over the crunching bones of ancient victims, swishing torrents of sand in its wake.


The earth trembles. Above, a dark cloud appears in the blue sky.


The serpent pauses, swivels its head. It fixes a yellow eye on the cloud, watches it darken, broiling with fury, as if dragging in a long-winded breath, readying to strike.


The snake doesn’t hesitate, moves fast through the desert, positions itself at the edge of the cloud’s lightning rage. There is nothing but dry, hungry sand stretching wide, and the sharp electric burn of a charged current, the taste of cataclysmic magic hovering overhead.


The snake has hunted most of its life for a hidden world in the desert, a way in – looking for some sign, some anomaly. And here, beneath the first cloud to form in one hundred years, it stops.


It flicks a forked tongue into the electric air one last time, coils its body.


Waits.


---


Leven doesn’t notice the dark swell of the cloud forming above. His eyes are on the girl – the one he’s just stabbed.


A killing meant for a snake.


The knife’s ornate handle protrudes from her gut, the twining vines of two filigreed snakes with inlaid ruby eyes, twin mouths, open and wide, feasting on her flesh.


Leven’s hands shake as he wipes a cold sweat from his brow, smearing blood there, the truth twisting in his gut like a hot blade, a tumultuous unearthing of his own.


He remembers the queen, who smiled with all her teeth as she handed him the knife. This knife has been made for a snake, the queen had said, the lie taking root, coiling the invisible threads of poison up his limbs. She made him believe the knife was made to kill a snake – but hears the words again in his mind, This knife has been made for a snake. Not to kill a snake. But to do a snake’s bidding.


He wants to vomit as the truth washes over him.


He replays it all in his mind – the way the magicked knife made itself quiet while he hunted for a snake, leading him here, distracting him with the heroic honor of slain monsters along the way, made him believe he was a god. It pushed its ideas in shallow waves in between its whispered admiration and praise, never letting him discover the prison it was quietly building around him, brick by brick.


Until it was too late.


The knife had him by the throat, squeezed until the air between the blade and the girl was gone and all that filled the space was a pulsing bloodlust.


Leven lets out a shuddering breath. He leans forward, gently lifts the girl into his arms, cradles her. She shifts into him, her breathing shallow.


The knife wanted her dead – but its fervor is nothing compared to the beat of his wild heart that wants her alive now, wants everything to run in reverse, wants her skin breathing into his. The knife had him walking in a haze, but now he has returned to himself, and feels the cool thrum of his own voice in his veins.


He tucks a tendril of loose hair behind her ear, comes close enough to brush his agonized sorry against her temple. A single tear slides from her eye, catches his lip.


The sky cracks. Lightning illuminates them like fallen stars, before they are plunged into the near-dark.


At last Leven tears his eyes from the girl, looks up to the vengeful sky. The cloud above is unearthly, seething, cracking lightning fingers.


A single drop of water falls directly between them, onto the knife’s handle, still embedded in the girl’s stomach. Leven watches, transfixed, as the water slides like a tear from the jeweled eye of the filigreed snake, hissing against the metal. He holds her firmly as the handle disintegrates, as if the water has become fire, the knife its bone-cracking kindling. Within moments the knife becomes ashes, grabbed callously upward by a vindictive wind.


Leven only has a moment to gape at the girl’s wound, now free of the knife, the bleeding miraculously stopped, before the water drops from the sky.


---


Death suits her.


The sky splits open and reaches down with glossy hands of water skimming up her arms. The water rises, infinite and thunderous around her, but the midnight waves lift her gently, holding her close like a mother shushing into the starlit folds of her newborn baby’s neck, brushing a silken hand to the peach-fuzz hairline, pausing at the temple.


She swallows a whole-body shiver, drifts beneath the heady scent of white jasmine stars, petals raining down on her body.


She wonders why she waited so long to die, to find this place, like brushing up against a veil of gossamer wings, the whisper of eyelashes blinked against the delicate skin beneath her closed eyelids, a tendril of hair tucked behind the shell of her ear. The blooming night sky is a lid of midnight aloe, pricked with breezy stars to let in the air.


She could spend eternity here, in the arms of death.


The burning ache in her gut has subsided – no longer white hot with rage. The water presses weightless hands to the knife wound, washes the ache away with careful hands.


There is a question beneath the water’s surface, a welcoming. The waves gather her to its watery chest, slides a hand down her face as the priests do for final rites.


Are you ready? it asks between thunderous breaths, gentle somehow, then, without waiting for her answer, heaves her into the heart of its muted eternity.


She is falling into the abyss. There is water all around her, pressing her in, behind and before, safe, cocooned.


Down here it is quiet. She is not chosen, or other, simply a forgotten guest of the infinite seas – a home too vast to remember where all the creatures lie folded into the seams. Those creatures, old as time, brush past her, leaving the shuddering swell of changed currents in their wake, the waters shifting colder, warmer, colder again. She is too small for their notice, an infinitesimal mote risen up from the riverbed’s slurry.


Above her, there is a wild crash, frantic arms loop around her waist, a heartbeat presses in the space between her closed eyes.


The water pulls, beckoning her, the question still there tingling in its depths – one she can taste like a grain of sea salt pressed to her tongue – but the arms around her are urgent, unrelenting, a plea.


And then she is heaved up, out, and the arms are now a mouth, pressing wildly to hers.


Her mind reels back, shifts together, focuses on the shape above that is willing life back between the saturated woods of her.


She opens her eyes. To him, raven black hair dripping water into his squinted eyes, down his chin, onto her mouth.


The man who murdered her.


And above him, looming even higher, arched like an arrow, a snake.

October 16, 2023 05:22

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15 comments

Keelan LaForge
10:13 Oct 27, 2023

Poetically written without losing any of the pacing 😊

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Kay Reed
18:55 Oct 28, 2023

Thanks so much for the kind words, Keelan! Appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

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PM McClory
16:06 Oct 26, 2023

Fantastic. A fantastic piece of fiction. The prose is poetic and powerful. Even the structure alone--from snake to deceived man to dead woman, and the way the tension builds--is so well done. This feels like a prologue to a book I would read and enjoy. Great job, Kay.

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Kay Reed
20:42 Oct 26, 2023

Wow, thanks so much - this is the nicest compliment I could hope to receive! Appreciate you taking the time to read and respond - it truly means a lot. :)

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23:55 Oct 23, 2023

Wow, just, wow! You are painterly with your words, and this story is a work of fine art!

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Kay Reed
20:37 Oct 24, 2023

Thanks for the kind words, Vicki - truly appreciate you taking the time to read and respond!

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TJ Rowland
21:21 Oct 22, 2023

Loved it, but main feeling was: you had to end it right there!? Need to know what’s going to happen with that snake!!

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Kevin Logue
07:31 Oct 22, 2023

Very ethereal and intriguing. I want to know more about this snake, the knife, the queen that gave it to him, and where the story goes from here. So all in all great work cause I want more! Your writing is very pretty, I'd say you are more a painter of words than a writer - that's compliment, I think, yeah definitely is. I just asked my wife and she agrees. 😊

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Kay Reed
01:02 Oct 23, 2023

Wow, thanks Kevin- such kind words (from both you and your wife)! So appreciate you taking the time to read and respond- truly appreciate the encouragement!

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M.A. Grace
21:43 Oct 21, 2023

Beautiful prose.

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Kay Reed
01:03 Oct 23, 2023

Thank you so much for reading and responding- so appreciate it!

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Mary Bendickson
04:46 Oct 17, 2023

A beautiful piece of art.

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Kay Reed
06:03 Oct 17, 2023

Wow- thanks Mary! Such a kind compliment. So appreciate the read and response!

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18:40 Oct 16, 2023

Wow Kay this is really beautiful writing. Every sentence is expertly crafted and it's such a dream like experience. This is what I love to get lost in! Thank you! This whole paragraph is stunning: The sky splits open and reaches down with glossy hands of water skimming up her arms. The water rises, infinite and thunderous around her, but the midnight waves lift her gently, holding her close like a mother shushing into the starlit folds of her newborn baby’s neck, brushing a silken hand to the peach-fuzz hairline, pausing at the temple.

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Kay Reed
21:20 Oct 16, 2023

Thanks so much Derrick - such kind words! Truly appreciate you reading and responding - that dream-like experience that is less rooted in the concrete is definitely what I was going for, and so glad that came across for you. That paragraph you mentioned I actually wrote for the set of prompts on the importance of the senses a couple weeks ago, but then failed to finish that piece in time - so it got recycled into this piece. So glad you liked it!

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