0 comments

Funny

“Get this notarized as soon as possible,” Mr. Garner barked. I scurried up to his desk and gestured for my companions to follow. Mr. Garner looked me up and down as if he couldn’t believe he actually hired a woman as his lawyer. Despite that, we went through the process of notarizing the will. Afterward, I started to read over it. 

“Sir, are you sure this is what you want to do,” I questioned, and he nodded. 

“I’m aware that my children will disapprove, . That is of no importance to me. I do what I will. Do you have a problem with that,” he responded. The man had never looked so sure. His jaw was set, and his eyes stared into mine, daring me to challenge him. I shrunk back.

“Your children—”

“Do you presume to know my children better than I? Do you presume to know my own mind better than I?”

“No, sir. I was just—”

“Know your place, Chavez.” 

“Of course, sir,” I muttered. I knew better than to question Mr. Garner. Even when cancer ripped through his body, he still ordered everyone around like servants. Far from it. He had come to me for this job. He should have been groveling at my feet. My anger soon dissipated, however, when I got that fateful call. To be honest, I had been dreading the call, since I would be the one reading the will to Mr. Garner’s family. He had a number of estates. Over the years, he amassed quite a fortune. His children would be anxious, and they wouldn’t like what I had to tell them. Luckily, Mrs. Garner had already passed away. I wouldn’t have to deal with the wrath of an old woman.  

Finally, I found myself standing in front of the great Garner mansion, all four stories of it. The yard was huge, and with the cars pulling up, it looked quite menacing. Sighing, I headed into the house. Those people didn’t know me. Before notarizing his will, Mr. Garner had employed another lawyer. However, that lawyer refused to be responsible for the will. He probably took one look at it and bolted. Smart man, I thought numbly as I made my way to the door. Where a young man stood. His blond hair stood stark in comparison to his crisp black suit. From his age, I would have assumed he was one of Mr. Garner’s kids. From his clothes, however, I knew he was probably the butler. 

“Ms. Chavez, I presume,” the butler mused. I nodded, and he smiled. “Are you ready for the show?”

“The show,” I blurted. 

“Regardless of what is written in that will, Mr. Garner’s children will be at each other’s throats by the end of the day,” he responded. I gulped. “But, don’t worry. They’ll be hurting each other, not you.” I nodded but wasn’t convinced. If the children were anything like the father, they wouldn’t need to hurt me. That icy stare was enough. Why me, I wondered. What demon had compelled me to accept a good from Mr. Garner? He was notorious for his harsh manner. Everyone at the firm knew that. It was one of the first things we learned, yet here I was. Gosh, and I was reading his dreaded will to his heirs. 

“My name is George,” the butler said, turning to me. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I muttered, though I didn’t meet his eyes. 

“You’re not thrilled to be here,” he mused. “Why is that? Most of them are thrilled to take Mr. Garner’s jobs.”

“Most of them are only concerned about money. Your employer used to pay them double for their silence,” I blurted and bit my lip. We weren’t supposed to mention that. Sure, Mr. Garner was horrendous, but he did pay well. 

“What makes you different?” I shrugged as he ushered me inside. The interior was just as extravagant as the exterior. The hardwood floors were ordained with fancy rugs, and beautiful paintings hung from the walls. A few featured a small grey cat sitting on a pillow, but everything was carefully designed to complement each other. 

“No amount of money could make up for that man’s poor manners.” 

“Hmm, you’re right. This way,” he declared and gestured me into the library. Goodness, that room was completely full of books. Every inch of the wall was covered with a bookshelf, and every shelf was full. How could such a man have such wonderful possessions, I wondered. 

“You’ll sit here,” George announced, gesturing to the main desk at the far end of the room. I gulped. There were a few chairs where the heirs would sit, and I could just picture their murderous glares when I read the will. Then, something rubbed up against my leg. 

“Oh, hey, Maximus,” I cooed and rubbed its grey fur. It purred in response. At all the meetings I had with Mr. Garner, this little kitty had always been present. Honestly, it was the only thing I ever enjoyed from those meetings. I supposed he would be the only one I enjoyed from this one too. 

“Ugh, who let the vermin in here,” a voice demanded. I turned to find a woman standing in the doorway. From the first glance, it was pretty obvious she was one of Mr. Garner’s kids. What led me to that conclusion, I wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was the way she looked down on me. Perhaps it was the furs she draped over itself even though the weather was quite warm. Or maybe it was the five-inch heels she wore. Most likely, it was her dyed blonde hair. 

“Mistress Sophia, this is Lucile Chavez,” George introduced. At that, the woman smiled and stuck out her hand as her carefully manicured nails glistened in the light.

“You’re the lawyer, right? It’s so nice to meet you,” she gushed, and I picked up the cat just to have an excuse not to take the extended hand. “So, what did daddy dearest say about me? All good things, I hope.”

“Uh, yes, of course,” I stammered, though it was all a lie. Mr. Garner had never once mentioned his kids by name. Come to think of it, he hadn’t mentioned his kids at all. The only things I knew were from the internet and his will. Still, that wasn’t much to go on. All I knew was that there were four kids total, three daughters and a son. None of their names were mentioned in the article I found. There were a few people who claimed to be Mr. Garner’s illegitimate children, but no one knew for sure. 

Without another word, I made my way to the front desk. Sophia followed. 

“So, care to give me a sneak peek of daddy’s last will and testament? What did he leave me? Oh, I’d love that mansion on the coast? Who knows how much I could make renting that place out? Or, maybe the condo in Canada? The weather is splendid there,” she rambled. I busied myself by setting up. I could see now why Mr. Garner never mentioned his kids. Butterflies swirled around in my stomach. How was I going to get through this?

“You’ll just have to be patient, Mistress Sophia. We need to wait for the others,” George explained as I set Max back down on the ground. 

“What do you know? You’re just the help,” she huffed. 

“He’s right. Your father specifically said to read his will in the presence of all his children,” I cut in. She glared at me before finding a seat. This time, I actually studied the chairs. There were indeed only four plush chairs, all identical. Honestly, they looked more like thrones than chairs. Sophia sat back in hers, crossing her legs and pulling out a cigarette. Part of me wanted to yell at her for lighting a flame in a library, but I thought better of it. 

“What’s that,” George inquired as I set up my phone with the camera facing outward. 

“Mr. Garner requested that I video the will reading,” I replied, trying not to blush. George just hummed in response. I knew exactly why that man wanted a video. His will was going to upset them, and he wanted some record of that. I just hoped they wouldn’t kill the messenger. 

Soon, we were joined by the other three heirs. Though the chairs were identical, each sibling seemed to find a new way to sit. The son sat sideways with his legs hanging over the armrest. He wore a pink boa with a crop top, and when he waltzed into the room, a strange smell followed him. It took me a moment to identify it. Drugs. One of the other daughters was more formally dressed in a pantsuit. She sat as board straight as her brown hair. Her brown eyes were kind, and she was the only one who genuinely smiled at me. Finally, the final child arrived. Her brown hair was curled in perfect waves, and she would have looked beautiful if not for the frown permanently etched on her face. Her hair was about all I could see, though, since she was looking down at her Blackberry. When she looked up, though, I was met with a frown. 

“Get on with it, would you? I have a meeting to get to,” she snapped. She was so much like her father, I almost wanted to hide behind the chair. 

“Mistress Ruby,” George started. 

“Ah, come on, Georgie,” the boy groaned. “Rubs is her own person. Nobody tells her what to do. Yeesh, she’s so uptight.”

“That’s not what you said when you asked for money,” Ruby muttered, still staring at her phone. 

“Ruby,” the kind daughter scolded. “Leave Henry alone.”

“Don’t act like you like him, Mary. We both know you hate it when he shows up at your door high as a kite,” Ruby shot back. George coughed, trying to get their attention, but they either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Me, I was too busy watching the scene unfold. 

“Speaking of high,” Henry began and turned to Sophia. “Mind lighting me a smoke, sis?” Sophia sighed and lit another cigarette. The boy took it gratefully, relishing in it. 

“Drugs and cigarettes don’t mix, Henry,” Mary chimed, but Sophia just rolled her eyes. 

“Stop all this holier than thou stuff,” she sighed. 

“Let them waste away to nothing, Mary. They’re adults now,” Ruby retorted, though I wasn’t sure if she was even paying attention to the scene. 

“Let’s get started,” I finally said. Suddenly, everyone’s eyes were on me. Even Ruby looked up from her Blackberry. I unsealed the envelope and cleared my throat. Now that I actually saw the heirs in action, I could understand why Mr. Garner wrote what he did. 

“Skip the boring stuff and just get to who inherits the properties,” Ruby ordered. 

“Oh, don’t mind her. Take as long as you want,” Henry said, taking a long drag from his cigarette. 

“You’re just saying that because you want to smoke,” Sophia noted. I gulped as the color drained from my face. George lay a comforting hand on my shoulder, and Mary smiled sadly. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” she whispered. 

“I, Fredrick Garner, leave all my possessions,” I began and took a breath, willing my anxiousness to ease.

"Go ahead. We're waiting," Sophia sang.

"I, Fredrick Garner, leave all my possession," I read, "to Maximus."

September 04, 2020 18:07

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

0 comments

RBE | We made a writing app for you (photo) | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.