Herbal Tea

The sound of the kettle rose to a crescendo blocking out every other sound for several seconds. Then with a click it switched itself off and calm returned to the immaculate kitchen. Melodie popped a teabag into her favourite “World’s Greatest Mom” mug and watched the steaming stream of water with mounting excitement as she poured it in. She smiled at the name on the box, “Wonder Woman - Find your inner strength!” It was part of a set of novelty teas she had received as a present from her great aunt. She had become quite addicted to the citrusy flavour and today had particular need of it.

She sipped slowly at the pink coloured liquid, letting the tea infuse her body, waiting for it to take effect. Gradually she could feel her legs getting sturdier, her shoulders and arms felt powerful, her hair was suddenly a bouncing froth of curls. Energy surged through her body. She jumped up and with no effort started to spin, around and around, her arms held out to the sides. The kitchen became a blur but she felt no dizziness. The spinning stopped, as it always did, leaving her feeling six feet tall and fizzing with energy. She checked herself in the mirror; a goddess in a what looked like a stars and stripes bathing costume, long red boots and golden tiara. “Hmm,” she thought, “does what it says on the tin!”

There was no time to lose. As usual, to avoid drawing too much attention to herself, she headed out to the back garden. Staring skywards, with her left arm straight up, she cracked her lasso and launched herself into the air.  

The first time this had happened had been quite a shock of course. She did not usually go for herbal tea and did not really know what to expect. Luckily no-one else had been in the house at the time so she had had the chance to try a few things out and was astounded to find that she could get all the housework and gardening done in ten minutes and even managed to prepare a delicious evening meal from some leftovers in the fridge – simply with a nod of the head. That had been a couple of weeks ago.

She had decided to tell her husband Derek about it but he had just laughed uproariously and asked her if she had been on the magic mushrooms which had annoyed her. She decided not to mention it again. Her two teenage children had not laughed but had rolled their eyes and told her how embarrassing she was.

The first time Melodie flew to the supermarket had been quite an adventure and a bit nerve wracking. How were the other shoppers going to react to this strange vision landing in the carpark? Would she even be allowed into the shop? In the end, it had been rather disappointing . Getting to the shop in less than a couple of minutes and missing out the long traffic tailback at the roadworks had been marvellous, but no-one seemed to notice when she came into land, although admittedly it did happen very quickly and was easy to miss. In the shop itself, no-one blinked an eye. Apart from some very hard stares of a few toddlers, most people seemed to be pretending not to have seen her, or just looked straight through her, which she thought rather rude. One or two did shake their heads, probably in disapproval of her apparel, but no-one said anything or asked what she was up to, not even the cashier.

On another trip to the supermarket she spotted her friend Rita weighing some bananas. She was about to go over and tap her on the shoulder, ask her what she thought of the new-look Melodie when it suddenly occurred to her that Rita would not recognise her and would no doubt be a bit taken aback by some stranger dressed as Wonder Woman accosting her in Fruit and Veg. Sure enough, Rita finished weighing up her bananas and after glancing surreptitiously in Melodie’s direction quickly looked away and marched off towards Baked Goods.

After a week or so of being Wonder Woman, Melodie started to ask herself whether she shouldn’t be using her powers for something more important than getting to the supermarket and doing the household chores, especially since her family did not seem to appreciate the immaculate house and delicious meals. She pictured herself rescuing people from burning buildings, pulling people out of car wrecks, fighting crime. Although going by the supermarket experience, it was hard to imagine that she would be taken seriously. She decided she would not go looking for trouble but if an opportunity presented itself, she would not look in the other direction.

It had occurred to her that she could at least go travelling and one place she longed to see was the Lake District. Derek had never been interested, he wasn’t keen on long journeys, but now she could whizz up there herself and be back in time for tea. She should have felt nervous; there were so many unknowns. What if she got lost and couldn’t find her way back? Then her powers might run out before she made it back home. But her new-found abilities had given her extra confidence. She knew the powers usually lasted about an hour, which she decided was probably about the time it took her body to digest a cup of tea. It was 250 miles to the Lake District which she worked out would be around 20 minutes flying time. It would be a doddle.

And today was the day. The weather was sunny and warm and her family would be out until late afternoon. She took her tea early and before she knew it she was flying North, higher and faster than ever before. The matchbox world below went about its business in miniature, planes flew high above, no-one noticed a woman hurtling through the sky. She made good time and was soon swooping low over hills and lakes. After a turn around Lake Windermere she finally landed on Scafell Pike to gaze out at the panorama. With her x-ray vision  she could see every detail of the craggy slopes, and the walkers slowly making their way up the steep rocky track to the summit, some with walking poles and hiking boots, others in what looked like flipflops. There was a stiff breeze blowing and despite the sun Melodie noticed that she was feeling slightly chilly, which was strange because Wonder Woman never felt the cold. Looking down, she was horrified to see that she had already changed back into her own self – she must have lost track of the time. Not only that but she had no means of getting back home, no train ticket and no money to buy one. How could she have been so stupid? Panic started to rise when from overhead she heard a whooshing sound and a man dropped out of the sky to land on one knee in front of her. Not any old man but a tall, broad-shouldered fellow with rippling muscles, in a tight blue suit and red underpants on the outside. It looked like Superman but Melodie knew it wasn’t. “Derek! You drank the Superman tea. I don’t believe it! After all those sarky comments about Wonder Woman.”

Derek looked sheepish. “Sorry about that love. I couldn’t resist trying it. But let’s get back home to a real cuppa. No more of this herbal stuff.”

Melodie was relieved to be getting a lift home but wasn’t sure she was ready to give up up Wonder Woman just yet.