A Shattered Heart

It was her thirtieth birthday!

Rebecca sat on a red and black tartan blanket spread out on the lush green grass, her long wavy auburn hair blowing in the cool morning breeze.

There was an open picnic basket next to her with the contents spread out on one corner of the blanket.

There was one half of a chicken sandwich, a bottle of fresh orange juice now half empty, a half a bunch of grapes and her favourite, a scrumptious piece of chocolate cake on a paper plate which was on her lap still untouched.

She closed her eyes and lifted her face up towards the bright blue cloudless sky and breathed deeply letting her lungs fill up with the fresh cool air and exhaled slowly, as she opened them. She looked down at the piece of cake resting on her lap.

She stuck the fork in and took a bite of the mouth-wateringly delicious cake, savouring it with her eyes closed saying, “Mmmm....this is so delicious!” as she sat there warmed by the brilliant rays of the morning sun.

In her mind, she recalled a particular memory where her childhood had been so blissful and content.

Of course there were plenty of wonderful memories, that she could recall but this one in particular was very special.

She remembered every single detail of that day, as if it was like yesterday.

It was a glorious summer morning. Just like this one. They had brought her to the park on her eighth birthday to celebrate the big day. 

Her mother had planned a surprise party for her at the park. She had been totally unaware of what was about to happen. 

She had been told that she was going to have a very low key celebration this year, just the three of them.

She had been a little disappointed, but was glad that at least she got to celebrate with her parents. Especially her dad as he always seemed to be at work or away on a business trip somewhere. But that day she had him all to herself.

Her mother had made a delicious chocolate cake with white frosting complete with pink roses made with fondant icing, which she loved to nibble on. 

There had been an array of food items spread out all over the picnic table, from sandwiches to candy to cookies and juices, enough to feed the entire neighbourhood, she thought as she looked on in wonder.

She rememberd how she had gazed adoringly at her mother as she watched her sticking eight tiny candles carefully on the cake. 

A few moments later, she heard a noisy bunch of kids her age running towards their picnic table. 

She had looked at her mother confused who looked down at her lovingly and said, “I hope you don't mind, I invited your whole class this morning to celebrate your big eight!” 

She had yelped with glee as she hugged her mother and replied excitedly, “Of course I don't mind mommy, thank you so much, this is the best birthday ever!"

She had run towards her friends who were being escorted by their parents yelling and squealing, calling out to some of them who were her best friends.

A few moments later they had gathered around the picnic table. The tiny candles on the cake were lit as Rebecca stood before it bursting with joy.

They had started singing happy birthday as loudly as they could attracting the attention of the other picnic goers at the park. Rebecca took a deep breath as they were finishing singing and had blown out all eight of the candles at once. 

Everyone had clapped and cheered as her mother took the cake away and removed the candles and got busy cutting it while the guests helped themselves to the other goodies on the table.

Her father had organised some games for the little party guests such as “Blind Man’s Bluff,” "Follow the Leader” and “Limbo" where even the grown ups got involved.

She had been so glad that everyone had a good time and enjoyed the party. She remembered wishing that the day would never end.

Her happiness was shattered the day she lost both her parents in a car accident.

It happened just two weeks after her eighth birthday. She was home with her baby sitter Lily who was her neighbour’s daughter and had baby sat her from time to time.

Her parents had gone out to dinner that night and they planned to catch a movie at the local theatre afterwards. They had been returning home when the accident occurred.

Two police officers had come by their house to inform her of the accident. It had been a drunk driver, the officers informed them.

Aunt Jane, her mother's sister, who lived nearby had gone with her neighbour Mrs. Jenkins to identify their bodies at the morgue of the local hospital where they were taken to immediately after the accident. 

She had been working late that night when Mrs. Jenkins called her to inform her. She had rushed over to console her poor grieving neice.

She remembered how she had begged her aunt to take her with them, crying hysterically as Lily tried her utmost to soothe her.

They both had been pronounced dead at the scene as the paramedics were unable to revive them due to the injuries sustained from the impact, her aunt had informed her later that night when she returned home from the hospital.

She had gone to live with her aunt a month after the funeral. Her aunt had put the house up for sale and worked with their family lawyer to put her sister's and her brother-in-law's affairs in order.

She lived with her aunt till she finished high school and went away to college to pursue a degree in Child Psychology.

The money from the sale of the house along with her parent's many other assets and funds were bequeathed to her when she came of age.  

The sound of voices nearby brought Rebecca back from her reverie. She glanced towards the direction of the voices and saw a couple standing in front of a loved one's resting place, praying loudly.

She recalled the day when she said goodbye to her parents. She had been standing at this very spot beside her aunt who was holding her hand as they watched her parent's caskets being lowered to the ground while the choir from the local church sang “ Nearer my God to Thee.”

Her eight year old self had questioned as to why the sky was a brilliant blue, why the sun was shining, why the birds were singing and why the wind were blowing that day. It should have been a cold dark and dreary day as that’s how she had felt deep inside.

It has been a very long time since she was last here at the cemetery. The day they buried her parents. She had vowed never to come back again as it was painful, too painful in fact, she felt as though her heart would shatter into a million pieces.

It has been twenty two years since her parent's death. She had been dying inside each day ever since all these years.

Her beautiful brown eyes were welling up with tears which were threatening to roll down her rosy cheeks any moment.

She quickly wiped them away with the sleeve of her blouse and gazed at the two grave stones and said, “I miss you mom, I miss you dad, I missed you guys so much every single day! Growing up without you was the hardest thing I've ever had to bear. Not having you guys with me, during many a important events and moments in life. Not being able to hug you or hold you or talk to you. It was so hard!"

She reached into the picnic basket sobbing as she fished out a paper napkin and dabbed her eyes and wiped her now reddened nose as she continued. "I got married two years ago, to the most wonderful man. He's kind, loving, gentle and so understanding. He's an Architect. We met three years ago during my trip to Rome. Two weeks ago I found out that I was pregnant. I am going to be a mommy soon, to a little boy or a little girl, which made me miss you even more!" She said smiling through her tears.

She finally let go and cried bitterly, sitting on that blanket in the cemetery with a half eaten piece of cake on her lap, finally releasing all the grief that she had bottled up inside all these years, as the sun continued to shine, the birds continued to sing and the wind continued to blow.

THE END