Mirrors of ages past

Trigger warning : Mention of self harm and death.

I averted my gaze fast enough to miss the reflection that almost struck my line of view. So close. Putting my sunglasses I had been cleaning back on, I continued for class, refusing to look back at the source of the reflection.

I was running late. First day of college, and I would be late for class. Great. It wasn't enough that students were already staring at me because of my sunglasses. Now, I'll receive another round of stares in class.

Doesn't matter. There are things more important. I replayed my course for the day.

Avoid all mirrors. Act normal. Don't be more of a freak than you already look.

Easy enough. Has to be easier than having to relive my insanely life-like visions for the umpteenth time in my life.

The blazing flames, horses hooves, waving waters… No! Clear your head.

My sat-phone rang just then. It was mom. I ended it. Oh, and she left five missed calls behind. Awesome.

That would probably have been in my last class. I'll speak to her when I get home and fill her in on the details - my compulsory routine. So impatient.

I still had to make it early to class. Picking my pace, I hurried off. Need to walk faster -

A force hit. There it was. Once again, with that insanely rapid speed -

Blazing fire… horses hooves… water waves… Pair of horrified hazel eyes staring back at me…

I snapped into consciousness. Gasping for breath, I scanned the area for mirrors - so I could get as far away from it as possible - as my sight slowly became clearer.

The visions only appeared when I see a fairly clear reflection of my eyes in a mirror. I touched my sunglasses. Intact. Then how…?

I looked down to find my books scattered over the floor. My goodness, I bumped into someone.

"Hello? Miss?" A male voice called. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah… I mean, yes." I glanced up "Sorry for the - " My breath left me. Those eyes. I scurried back. "You! You, from… from the…" Loosing my mind.

His eyes widened for the a fraction of a second, then turned scrutinizing. "Uh, from?"

"Nevermind." I grabbed my books as fast as I could manage and hastened off. From a vision? I've officially lost it.

Gone are the scads of therapists. My next stop, courtesy of mom and dad, would be the asylum.

I stopped to peak through the class door. Not late. That's a relief.

I took off my glasses, and hurried in, taking a seat at the back.

The guy from a few minutes ago walked in. He had dark hair falling to the side of his, really attractive face. He was tall, brawny, and had those deep hazel eyes. So familiar. It looked straight out of my visions.

I rubbed temples. I can't be this crazy. Really.

He walked over. "Hey. What a strange coincidence. Are feeling okay now?" He inched closer, standing beside the seat next to me. "Mind if I…"

I tossed my books on it and snapped, "Yes, I mind."

"Oh. Okay, sure." He left, taking a seat across from me.

So, now I'm rude to strangers. Fantastic.

"Okay everyone, have your seats." The lecturer came in, and everyone settled for the class.

"We will be starting up with... " He started talking. I tried to listen, but I had an urge to gaze at the sky. I can't.

Why does my life always have to be complicated? Can't I just be normal? Like everyone else?

I couldn't even look at out the window without sunglasses, for the fear of my own reflection reverting off of it. I felt a lump in my throat.

Don't humiliate yourself in front of all these people. You've had enough of that to last a lifetime. I took deep breaths. In… Out… In… Out...

That's right, I'm not a kid anymore. Not a kid... Not a kid… Let that stick.

A siren had me covering my ears. Too loud. It sounded again. It was the fire alarm!

Students began struggling out. I grabbed my bag, trying to push through.

But smoke started to fill the room. No, no, no, no. I yanked my bag open, trying to find my inhaler.

My eyes started to water. I tried rubbing them clear. Can't see!

Smoke began to fill my lungs, fogging my sight. Can't breathe.

Under the tussle, my hair tie snapped, sending my black hair spilling over my face. I still tried to shove through, when I felt hands scoop me up.

With heavy breaths, I looked upwards. My sight was blurred. But I didn't miss those pair of hazel eyes, before the heaviest pang of the vision hit.

***

I cracked my eyelids open. In a room? It was painted blue. It seemed large, and a pair of table with two chairs - one on each side - rested on a corner of the room. It had just a door, and no windows? A vase of sweet-smelling flowers lay by the bedside table.

This isn't my room. Then whose is it?

Didn't I almost die? And in class!

Hazel-eyes from college walked in, he was dressed in black, and sure looks comfy.

What in the hell is going on? With building terror, I checked my clothes. Same as before. I released a relieved breath.

Wait, did my hands not move just now? I tried again. Nothing. I couldn't feel my limbs! Fear coursed through my body.

Hazel-eyes merely stood there, scrutinizing me.

"What's this? Where am I? And why can't I move?"

"I drugged you." he said simply.

The sentence boomed in my head "You… you what?"

"I don't want to hurt you." He paced. "I knew if I didn't drug you, you wouldn't listen to me."

"Where am I?"

"You'll know soon enough."

"I'll know soon enough?" This is insane. "You know you'll get arrested by the police, right?"

"I doubt they can do much."

What he saying - ? I remembered something more important. "Are there any mirrors?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Just answer the question!"

"No, not in this room. But perhaps other parts of the house may - " He sighed. "Just listen to me. You'd try to leave and not let me finish if I hadn't drugged you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I… I need you" Need me?

At my raised eye brow, he walked over and sat on the bedside close to me.

I gasped. The visions! They came in a greater force before I blacked out. There were no mirrors then. - I couldn't even see - Or the first time either. But they'd come when he touched me!

"Are you fine?" Excuse me?

Fear slowly began giving way to rage. "Am I fine?" I gave a humorless laugh. "I was already living the 'nut-job' life, which recently proved to be worse. Because I started seeing things I'm not supposed to. In real life, and maybe because of you. Then the psycho kidnaps me, and asks if I'm fine?!"

He let out a breath. "It's not what you think. I..."

"What do you want? Money? Or are you some serial killer that wants to murder me?" I snapped. "Then have at it! Life's too weary anyway." My eyes started to water. Don't cry. Don't cry. I took deep breaths, glancing away.

"Let me explain." He reached out his hand.

"Don't!" I glared at him. "Do not touch me."

Taking it back, he said, "Fine. I won't touch you. Just let me talk."

I simply glanced away again, fuming.

"Okay, I'll go on. Since I was eight, I've been having memories. Memories of you. In different eras and time. And in every age, you always - " I looked back to see his expression had turned grave. "Died."

"What?"

Acting like I said nothing, he continued, "In the first era, we just got married, and when an accident with horses killed you, I couldn't bear it. I met a conjurer. He was known to possess great power. And when I asked if he could save you, he said he could, but it's a very tricky one and may come at a fatal price. I was willing to do anything. When I agreed, I watched him take a mirror, summoning your reflection from within. You revived, and you were normal. He'd told me what I'd see would more than meets the eye, that fate doesn't always play nice, and that we'd have a connection. But I hadn't comprehended how long. I also hadn't paid much attention to anything he said after you revived. I had paid the conjurer with almost everything we had. But it didn't matter. I was brimming with happiness. And yet, only to watch you die in two days."

Mirrors, horses... I paled. Not real, not real.

His brows were drawn, as if in pain, his expression growing vacant. "I'd met the conjurer again, begging to bring you back. But he'd simply repeated, 'It comes at a price'. I went berserk, and tried to kill myself, but didn't die. I ran and jumped over things, but still, I was alive. I just grew older and older, till nature took away my miserable existence"

He stood, pacing the room again. "When he'd told me, it came at a price, I'd simply thought then that if I died, it'd all end. But it didn't. I came back again, a few ages more. Reborn with every memory of the past. Slowing building from my childhood. My heart aching with every passing minute for you. I met you again. But you remembered nothing from our past life, and died a few weeks after meeting me. And every other age from that. All from unnatural causes. I… I once watched you get burned to death." He flinched. "Even then, I couldn't end my life. Again, and again, the circle continued. Torturing, with every passing era. I guess the worse punishment fate could give to me is watching you suffer, and not being able to follow."

He looked at me, everything in his expression screaming POSSESSIVE. "But this time, I refuse to let you die. You almost died today. And now, you stay with me. I'll protect you."

Sounding hopeful, he said. "I think we have a chance this time. When we first met, you acted like you remembered me. Can you - ?" He stopped. "Why were you asking me about mirrors then? Do you remember anything about them? In the past, you used to adore them. You still do? Was that why you were asking me about them?"

Adore them? They're the bane of my existence! Why would I had ever adored them? Wait, what am I thinking? This is simply insane.

Horses hooves… blazing fire… Hazel eyes staring back at me… Mirrors...

Not real. It couldn't be real.

I met his eyes. "You're more of a freak than even I am. You're crazy." I tried to move. Nothing. "Let me go!"

"I can't." He started for the door.

"Wait. If you presume you're the cause of my death in every age, why do you think keeping me here with you would be safe?"

He turned for me. I cast him a warning glance. But then, he just took the flowers and walked back to the door. "Because that's the only option left undone."

"Just hold on! When would I be able to move again?"

"By morning tomorrow. I'm taking back my gift. Everything you need is here."

"What are in those flowers - ?" He stepped out.

"Just take me back home!" I yelled.

The door shut behind him. "That son of a… argh!"

***

Everything I needed really was here. Clothes, shoes, slippers, a bathroom, even my bag was intact. He hadn't touched it. Perfect. Too bad for him though.

I opened my bag, looking for my sat-phone. Apparently, this would be the first time having to use a 'weird' phone, as it was called - to avoid my reflection off plane phone surfaces - would be useful. Satellite phones produced less clear surfaces, so they surficed for emergency 'forgot my sunglasses' situations. Now, it's going to get me out of here.

Luckily, my kidnapper was not the serial killer type. He was just crazy. Or not. No, he was crazy.

Here's my inhaler. I rolled my eyes. Oh, now you show up.

Great. My sat-phone. I opened the door, peeking outside. No one was here.

I put on my sunglasses, and stepped out to the hallway. Wow, it really was a big house. It was painted glossy white, and hell, I could get lost here.

I walked faster down the stairs, wary of mirrors, trying to get out. Shit. Here comes the kidnapper.

"Where do you want to go? I can take you." He would let me go anywhere?

A suspicion arouse. "Where are we?"

"In an island. It's very isolated. So no one can find us."

Anxious breaths left me. "A wh… what?"

He looked alert. Eyes filled with what might be care? He said, "Why? What's wrong"

He inched closer. Then stopped, taking a step back. "You don't like it here?"

"I'm afraid of large masses of water. I can be in an island!" I started to rethink my decision of going out. "Not to mention the loads of reflections that goes off of it."

"I don't understand. What reflections?"

"Nothing. I... I just can't be here."

He sighed. "Fine. I'll have us move in a few hours. Just stay in."

He left.

I bit my fingers. This was my chance. Water - reflections. More water - more chances of reflections.

This is important. Stay here, and be with the psycho for who knows how long. Forever?

I held my breath, stepping outside. The breath left me. Woah.

I haven't seen anything like it. The house seemed close to the water, making way for a fantastic view. But I couldn't get near it.

I would probably have a better chance at the back. I went round the house, and saw more of vegetation. A flat-top peak stood not far from where I stood. It's not too high. That would do.

I started for it, dragging myself up the height.

Once I reached the top, I bent over, struggling with breaths. Taking a look down, I retreated. A large mass of ocean water, - or sea? - lay beneath.

I took my sat-phone and called mom. Hopefully, I'd get a better connection here.

Footsteps sounded from beneath. Not now. I prayed he doesn't get here before I'm done.

When the footsteps sounded nearer, I stepped back.

Mom picked. "Hello?"

"Mom!" I started rapid-talking. "I'm held somewhere by some psycho who somehow -"

"Jaden, my goodness, where are you?! We've been looking all over for you! Tell me your location. Your phone is being tracked now but still - "

"Mom, stop! I'm not sure where, but I'm in a remote… " A yank at the phone, sent it slipping from my hands.

Hazel-eyes cut the call, looking back up to glare at me. "What are you doing?"

"Isn't is obvious? Give it back!" I reached forward trying to snatch it, but his grip was firm.

"I said, give it!" A jut of my elbow at his torso had him tumbling over the the edge.

I didn't miss his horrified gaze before he fell. I heard an impact with something, and then thud as his body hit the waves.

I gasped, sending my hands over my lips. I thought of following. Can't swim.

Not possible. Cannot be happening. This cannot be happening.

Lord save me, was he dead? My hands shook. Moisture trickling down my cheeks.

He shouldn't die right? He said he didn't - Am I insane?

Waves of the visions hit. I fell to the floor. With the fastest speed I've ever known -

I was sent flying by horses hooves... Died from the impact... Revived... Died again... Born again with no memories of the past... Mesmerized by mirrors... He tried to save me... I pushed him to his death... Watched his horrified eyes gaze up at me as he was consumed by flames... I lost every grip of sanity I had... He was born again to think I died... Living part of my memories as his... I regained those memories but couldn't bear it... I pushed him to his death and watched him die... Again... And again... And again...

It was all so clear. Like a living dream.

I finally comprehended what was more than meets the eye. His death, not mine.

No! I refuse to accept this! No. No. Nooo!

I grabbed my temples, clasping until it hurts.

He was wrong. I killed him. Insanity threatened.

But not long before a shriek rang through the through landscape... It was mine.