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Funny Crime Fiction

Neal Rowden hoisted himself over the bleached fifteen foot wall, dropped into a shrubbery, and rolled across the manicured lawn. He grunted, stood up, and dusted off his tuxedo. And then he pulled out his phone and turned off the mansion’s alarm system with the app. Of course it required a password, but of course – TK had provided it for him, as they were the very best of friends.

If he was honest, he found this way of getting into the mansion a little annoying, but he knew there was no other way. Paparazzi camped at the front entrance 24/7, and they’d be particularly keen for any dirt at this late hour. The leeches would turn even something as mundane as a midnight pizza delivery into a lurid love affair. Some people were just disgusting.

So Neal resigned himself to what he affectionately called “the servant’s entrance.”

He made his way to the private garden, where TK frequently chilled after a hard day of recording. Neal typically didn’t attend these siestas because he knew TK enjoyed his privacy occasionally, and if there was one thing Neal respected more than anything else, it was privacy.

The back door of the house was locked, naturally, but TK trusted Neal with the key. He put on a specially made latex glove and pressed his fingers down on the scanner. A moment later it validated his identity as TK – what were a couple fingerprints between friends, right? And the door unlocked with a thunk.

It was dark inside, but as a frequent and welcome visitor, Neal knew his way around the place. When he entered the vaulted ballroom with its polished marble floor, he flicked the lights on – and that’s when he heard the dogs.

A low buzz saw growl and a furious bark announced three Dobermanns, who bolted at Neal. He squatted with his arms open and their growls turned to high pitched whines, and they barrelled into him, propelled by their wagging rumps.

“Hello good boys!” Neal said, receiving sloppy kisses from the hounds he basically helped raise. He often helped TK like that. “I’ve missed you guys!” Thorough pettings ensued, and of course he was reminded of TK’s hit single, Goodest Dogs. Unforgettable! Not only did it stay number one on the charts for six weeks, but it was also TK’s first solo release since he left Nine Hearts. And back then, the critics blasted him for trying to go his own way.

“But the critics are dumbasses, aren’t they?” Neal said, giving Lucifer a spine-shivering ear-scratch. “Yes they are!” Then he got to his feet. “Right, that’s all, lads. Afraid I’m working tonight.” They whined. “I know, I know, but TK’s fan club won’t president itself. Speaking of, if you gents will excuse me, I must see the man of the hour about something.” The dogs were moderately disappointed, but they slunk off.

Neal made his way to TK’s bedroom, but when he ever-so-gently opened the door, he found the room was empty and the bed was made.

“The hell?” TK didn’t say anything about not being home tonight – it wasn’t like him to just vanish.

Neal logged into the fan club forums on his cell – took a moment to smile at his awesome login, TKholic, with no trailing numbers or underscores or whatever else, which was proof he was here since the beginning, a real fan – and checked the VIP lounge to see if he had missed any important news updates. Some rumours about the next album, some whispers about who TK might or might not be dating, but nothing about plans tonight.

Then Neal almost dropped his phone when he heard a whunk at the bedroom window. It slid up, and a giant, frilly ball of white taffeta billowed into the chamber, the world’s suavest tumbleweed. And then of all things it began rising and took the form of a… bride?

“I do, TK!” she said breathlessly, while gripping a bouquet of ruffled roses. “Oh, I do! I–” She stopped abruptly and lifted her veil. “What the shit? You’re not TK!”

“No, and just who the hell are you!?” But that face, Neal knew he’d seen it somewhere before. “Oh, Jesus. swansong919.” One of those over-excitable superfans from the forums. Admittedly, Swansong had been a fantastic song, and a fitting farewell to Nine Hearts, so he did grant that she had good taste. She had a real name too. What was it? Ah! “Eun-Jeong. What are you doing here?”

“Wait, I know you,” she said. “Unbelievable. Neal friggin’ Rowden.” She pulled an e-cigarette out of her bouquet and started vaping something cherry. “Don’t ask me what I’m doing here, jackass. What are you doing here? We had a vote, damn it.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“The executive fan committee. We had a vote to see who would spend time with TK tonight. I won.”

“What vote?”

“You have no right to be here tonight, Neal.”

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“On the forums, dummy! In the VIP rooms. We had a vote. It’s my turn.”

He checked on his phone, and indeed found the vote in a thread that was rather unfairly critical of himself. But he’d never heard of this executive committee, and given it appeared to be largely made up of swansong919 and her sad clique of tryhards, it looked dubious.

“You keep hogging him, and we all know he’s getting tired of your sorry old face,” she said. “So, kindly piss off and stop ruining my night.”

“I didn’t authorize this vote.”

“Doesn’t matter. We voted. Democracy rules.”

“President’s veto.”

swansong919 scowled and raised a fist.

“Besides,” said Neal, “TK’s not here.”

She lowered her fist and took a good long look at the bedroom. She ran her hand over the made-up bed and inhaled, long and loud, well past propriety. “Where is he?”

They both checked the rumour forums again, but still nothing.

“I don’t know,” Neal said. “I’m worried. I hope he didn’t get ambushed by those paparazzi.” He sniffed. “We could check downstairs?”

“For his safety,” she said.

“Of course!”

They tromped downstairs and it really did seem like the mansion was empty. The living room was wide open and sparsely populated by couches. There was a bar, a colossal TV, a sound system – obviously – and a bespoke full-body virtual reality setup. It of course brought to mind the catchy We Are VR promotional track, which largely paid for this very home.

“How did you get past the dogs anyway?” Neal asked.

She smirked and puffed on her e-cigarette again. “I’m the one that sold them to him.”

“For real?”

“Oh yeah! When I heard he was looking for Dobermanns, I dropped out of dental school and spent my scholarship on importing the things. I set up a whole operation to make it seem like it was legit. And it worked! He bought three of my lovely little darlings, and they remember me.”

“Damn, I’m actually kind of jealous.”

“Thank you. I think it was worth it, even though my parents disowned me. Turns out I got a knack for peddling grey-market dogs, and there’s quite a bit of demand.”

Then they both froze, when they heard a door open and footsteps approaching. And then their jaws dropped, when TK came around the corner and sauntered into the living room.

“TK!” they both joyscreamed. He was resplendent – as always – in a custom-tailored suit and baseball cap, his hands tastefully adorned with rings and his neck draped with stylish chains. His perfectly maintained mustache, imitated all around the world now, sparkled in the lamp light, and the playful mole on the left side of his neck proved that imperfections too could be perfect. And when he smiled the smile that made a nation swoon, swansong919 shrieked and launched herself at him. She dropped to her knees and slid the rest of the way towards him, on the perfectly polished floor, and came to rest at his feet.

Then she grabbed his hand reverently, kissed it with teary eyes, and whispered, “I love you, TK!” Her words tripped over emotions. “Marry me!?”

Neal sputtered. How dare she! Not only was this most inappropriate – swansong919 ought to know better than to waste TK’s time with such ridiculous pranks – but also, she was upstaging Neal. He felt his fury rising and he had half a mind to boot her from the fan club, and–

–wait. A mole on the left side of his neck?

Neal’s eyes narrowed, and he stalked up to TK and swansong919.

“Hello, superfan!” TK said.

“Mm-hmm,” Neal said. Then he plucked the mole from the left side of the neck – and it came off without any trouble or reaction – and re-adhered it to the right side. “There.”

“Oh, uh,” said TK, “thanks!”

Neal grabbed his mustache and snapped it right off TK’s face, revealing none other than the smooth-shaven akpopalypse_now8, also known as Mun-sik – a greasy little weasel that had nevertheless been making a name for himself for both his wild theories and his juicy rumours.

“Aha!” Neal said.

akpopalypse_now8 grinned sheepishly.

swansong919 stood, hiked her wedding dress up, and slapped him. “Twat.”

He rubbed his face but kept grinning. “You gotta admit, it’s a pretty good sell though. Like, I basically am TK, right?”

“You are not,” said Neal. “Can you even sing?”

“Well, kinda.” akpopalypse_now8 scratched his chin. “Not really. I’m working on it.”

swansong919 leaned into him again and sniffed. “Jeez, you do have his scent though.”

“Thanks!”

Neal shook his head and sighed. “Well, you wasted your time. TK’s not here tonight.”

“He’s not?” akpopalypse_now8’s face fell. “Oh. You know where he is?”

“Nah.” Then he spotted TK’s laptop sitting on a coffee table. “But hey, maybe we can find out.” They all grinned, and huddled around the laptop. Neal got the password on the second try – because he knew TK better than TK knew himself – and soon they were knee deep in his emails.

“Manila!?” said akpopalypse_now8.

“Are the rumours true then?” swansong919 asked. “He’s doing a movie?”

“Don’t know,” Neal said. Then each of them grabbed their cellphones racing to be the first to break the news to the fan club. Their cameras lightning-stormed the room as they snapped mediocre photos of anything that could be construed as evidence.

“Well,” said Neal, “at least the night isn’t a total bust.”

“I’m just glad I got out,” said akpopalypse_now8. “Normally you just beat us all to the punch, Neal. You’re a legend. An irritating legend.”

“We had a vote about that,” said swansong919. “Showboat over here keeps trying to hog TK.”

Neal just rolled his eyes. “Whatever. What do you guys want to do? Watch a movie, and then maybe look for stray hairs or nail clippings?”

“Sounds good to me,” said swansong919, and akpopalypse_now8 nodded.

But then a ventilation cover high above them suddenly came loose and clattered to the floor, and next thing they knew, a person slid out of the vent, shimmied down the wall, and landed on her feet. She was dressed like a Hallowe’en store ninja, just without a mask, and with a beaming, flustered grin.

“Ta-da!” she said.

“Sorry, you wasted your time,” said swansong919.

“TK’s not here tonight,” said akpopalypse_now8.

“Oh,” said the newcomer.

“Who are you?” Neal asked. “I don’t think I recognize you.”

She looked at him with wide, eager eyes, and she sidled towards him. “I’m Sang-mi, sir. My username is rowdybaby1997.”

As she approached Neal, the three looked at each other, but the name didn’t ring any bells for anyone.

“A noob?” Neal asked. “I don’t recognize rowdybaby1997.”

“rowdy,” she said, stretching the syllables, “baby. 1997.” And then, with a flutter of her eyelashes, she added, “Mr. Rowden.

Neal blinked back his confusion, and then he startled when rowdybaby1997 suddenly wrapped herself around his arm.

“I’m you’re biggest fan!” she screamed.

“What!?”

“You’re such an awesome burglar! You always find a way into TK’s house! I love you!”

“Oh my god!” Neal shouted, pulling his arm free and pushing her away. “How did you find me?”

“I bugged your phone!”

“Wait – you’re that psycho that’s been harassing my parents.”

“I like to think of them as my parents too.”

“Jesus, you’re crazy!”

“Crazy for you! Let’s make babies!”

Neal made a vague noise of panic and ran, hoping to escape the way he came. Unhelpfully, swansong919 and apokpopalypse_now8 just stood there laughing. So much for comrades-in-arms! The state of fandoms had seriously deteriorated, especially if it gave rise to such unhinged people as this ludicrous Sang-mi. He sped past the ballroom and through the garden, bee lining for the fifteen foot wall, and her crazy eyes followed hot on his heels.

He clambered up a tree and leapt from it to the top of the wall, just as her fingers grabbed his shoelace. The shoe, he lost, but it was a small price to pay for freedom.

“I love you!” she screamed again.

“Go away!”

He dropped on the other side of the wall, and ran off into the night to a haunting cry of “I’ll meet you in your apartment!”

June 07, 2023 00:18

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43 comments

Susan Catucci
21:22 Jun 10, 2023

You probably can't see the grin I'm grinning from where you are, Michal, but - come on, this is great stuff. You employed a classic turn of the tables and see how you like it scenario and pulled it off beautifully. You have my total admiration. Wonderfully form-fitted into the prompt, very current - so outlandish, yet it doesn't come off that way. I loved how you executed the whole story. A tale like this one shouldn't be possible but, somewhere within the Michal cabinet of mysterious talents, you found a way. I was all in and the ...

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Michał Przywara
21:56 Jun 12, 2023

Thanks, Susan! Turning the tables was the name of the game :) There's something very appealing about the bungled caper. I'm glad you liked it! I was grinning while writing it :)

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Susan Catucci
01:23 Jun 13, 2023

yeah, well, somehow I knew that, too. :)

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07:01 Jun 07, 2023

A fun and unique story for a challenging prompt that had me guessing what was going to come next at every twist and turn. It felt like perfect karma at the end that Neal has to run away from his own obsessive sasaeng!

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Michał Przywara
21:02 Jun 07, 2023

Thanks, Chris! Karma's the right word, I think. I am not at all familiar with this week's theme and so it required quite a bit of research. Actually, this prompt specifically was least appealing initially, since from the sound of it, sasaeng worthy of stories are probably the terrible kinds of things you read about in papers - fans going too far, kidnapping, murder, etc. But then an idea occurred to me on how to subvert it, and here we are :) Thanks for reading!

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Tommy Goround
08:59 Jun 10, 2023

I like this name. Smooches @ chris

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Mike Panasitti
23:12 Jun 12, 2023

You chose the most difficult prompt this week and took it to a level of plot and characterological intricacy I haven't seen in this cycle of submissions (four obsessive fans, instead of one - each with a unique profile and flurry of quirks). Best of luck with the contest this week - it would be another well-deserved win.

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Michał Przywara
01:35 Jun 13, 2023

Thanks, Mike! It was indeed the prompt I thought was least likely to get a story, but then a story idea happened and here we are :) Best of luck to you too!

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Chris Miller
00:57 Jun 11, 2023

The sasaeng's sasaeng. Fun story Michal! "The world's suavest tumbleweed" is great. Thanks for sharing.

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Michał Przywara
21:54 Jun 12, 2023

Thanks, Chris! I do enjoy meta things, and a fan's fan seemed fitting :) Glad you enjoyed it!

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Lily Finch
21:27 Jun 10, 2023

Great thriller of twists and turns that nobody could know what would be next. Karma is karma. Love that it is so prevalent here. Like a profile almost that you put down to paper and get a composite of somehow. LF6

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Michał Przywara
21:58 Jun 12, 2023

Thanks, Lily! Karma is karma Indeed :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Delbert Griffith
12:41 Jun 10, 2023

This. Is. Hilarious. An obsessed fan being stalked by his own obsessive fan is just too delicious for words. But I'm gonna throw some out here anyway. The rationalizations for Neal's obsessive behavior speaks volumes about obsessed fans. I imagine serial killers and con artists have the same types of rationalizations for what they do. The whole thing sparkled with wit and charm. You did a masterful job of taking a creepy undertaking and making it humorous. That's some skill there, my friend. Everything was telling and poignant, down to the...

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Michał Przywara
22:00 Jun 12, 2023

Thanks Del! Turning creepy into humorous was exactly what I hoped for, so I'm glad that worked out :) I think you're right about there being similarities in rationalizations for serial killers and con artists, and that's why I actually initially shied away from this prompt - it seemed to naturally lead to a dark story, and I suspected most submissions would go that route. Then the idea of inverting it occurred to me, and here we are. I appreciate the feedback!

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Tommy Goround
08:58 Jun 10, 2023

Was listening to in on audio while digging something. Even the White noise of the mourners didn't interrupt. Had a smooth flow. I kept wondering why the dogs didn't eat the third person and then the fourth. Good story. Clapping..

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Michał Przywara
01:34 Jun 12, 2023

Thanks, Tommy! The dogs - good catch. Formally, I suppose that's a plot hole. Though given how things have been going, perhaps everyone was already familiar with them for one reason or another - or they're just bad at their jobs. Some dogs never learn to not trust strangers :) "Even the White noise of the mourners didn't interrupt" - jeez, get this line into a story! It's too good for just a comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the story :)

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Kevin Logue
09:10 Jun 09, 2023

That was fun. Started somewhat sycophantic expecting him to get caught or such, but when more and more fans kept I just kept thinking this is a sketch. And a very good one. Well done Michael on a challenging prompt.

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Michał Przywara
20:45 Jun 09, 2023

Ah, you have a good point about it being like a sketch! I think I was picturing it like that subconsciously as I wrote. It's certainly on the farcical side. Thanks for the feedback, Kevin! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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14:09 Jun 08, 2023

This is mad. I bet you had fun writing this one.

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Michał Przywara
20:51 Jun 08, 2023

Thanks Anne! I did have fun, yes :) I found this theme and prompt quite challenging, which might have influenced the madness. I appreciate the feedback!

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Wally Schmidt
17:29 Jun 07, 2023

Some of the ways you describe things in the story are so imaginative. I especially loved: "She pulled an e-cigarette out of her bouquet and started vaping something cherry." "... a giant, frilly ball of white taffeta billowed into the chamber, the world’s suavest tumbleweed" "“...joyscreamed." While we often think that all these obsessive fans nowadays are aided and abetted by technology, I recently met an older woman who had been at two of the original Beatles concerts when they came to the United States. So while we may think of the super...

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Michał Przywara
20:56 Jun 07, 2023

Thanks, Wally! And I'm sure you're right! Technology and a connected world probably makes it more visible, or enables a bigger scale (kind of like a group of people radicalizing each other on forums) but the idea of fans, die-hard or otherwise, is probably much older than that. Celebrities seem to operate at a much bigger scale nowadays too, with international stars and relatively easy international travel for fans, with easily reproducible recordings, and so on. But it hardly seems like a new idea, and I'm sure artists all throughout ...

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Mary Bendickson
17:20 Jun 07, 2023

Perfect funny crime. Creatively killed the prompt.😁

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Michał Przywara
20:57 Jun 07, 2023

Thanks, Mary! Glad it worked out! Well, the story anyway - the caper kind of fell apart :)

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Philip Ebuluofor
17:15 Jun 07, 2023

Fine work. Crime and love stories s not my friend. I found it difficult to frame them.

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Michał Przywara
20:59 Jun 07, 2023

Thanks, Philip! Yes, I find crime and love difficult as well, which is why this one took a silly turn. Reading about cunning criminal capers is fun, but stories where everything goes wrong can be funny too. Thanks for reading!

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Philip Ebuluofor
12:36 Jun 09, 2023

Yeah, I got you there.

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Michelle Oliver
09:37 Jun 07, 2023

This was great. I love the way Neal starts by justifying his obsession as quite reasonable and things just exponentially get more chaotic. As each fan was added to the picture we get more crazy added until you mix in Neal’s own fan. It seems like perfect karma. A great social commentary in the digital social media crazy world we are in. Each fan seems more and more obsessed about their own position and how they are viewed by their followers and fellow fans, that the don’t really care about the star at all, just what his fame can do for them....

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Michał Przywara
21:01 Jun 07, 2023

Thanks, Michelle! I wanted to see just how bungled this operation could become, and what better way than to have multiple competing fans get the same idea and trip each other up? :) "Each fan seems more and more obsessed about their own position and how they are viewed by their followers and fellow fans, that the don’t really care about the star at all, just what his fame can do for them." That's an insightful way of putting it, and I think you're right on. If you are forcing your way into someone's life, regardless of what they want or ...

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Graham Kinross
15:39 Dec 13, 2023

The super stalker got a stalker. Very apt. Interesting that they recognise each other from their usernames. I wonder if it’s that tight knit in the big pop fandoms. If they’re all trying to one up each other. Reminds me of this. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MxrWuE5qC5c

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Michał Przywara
21:48 Dec 14, 2023

Ha! I'd never seen that before - their delivery is killer :) I suspect the familiarity is probably true of any established enough community. I still remember forums where member A was “the guy who knows everything about B”, or admin C was powertripping, etc. Micro-celebrities in their own right. I think you might be onto something with the one upping, since being “the biggest fan”, having the most devotion, carries some kind of clout.

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Graham Kinross
23:51 Dec 14, 2023

They all probably think they’re the biggest fan. I imagine there’s a degree of codependency between the extreme hardcore fans of anything where they feed off each other’s obsession and normalise behaviour which isn’t necessarily healthy. Lots to think about in this Michał.

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Amanda Lieser
15:02 Jun 24, 2023

Hey Michal, This piece was well tagged and I found myself grinning stupidly for most of it. It was clever in the best way! I like that you chose to name the characters by their usernames since so many of us simply know each other by that. This story felt like a crazy trip and I loved how uncomfortable you made that final fan interaction. It truly helped the protagonist fully empathize with what their idol experienced. This was a great take on para social relationships!!

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Michał Przywara
23:44 Jun 25, 2023

Thanks, Amanda! Glad you enjoyed it :) It was definitely meant to be a bit of a crazy trip, and that kind of sudden-enforced-empathy was one of the seeds. I appreciate the feedback!

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Ken Cartisano
18:50 Jun 17, 2023

Hi Michal?, I cared not for this prompt, couldn't see how anyone could turn it into an entertaining story, (for me). You proved me wrong, in spades. Very quick start, that precedes a fast-moving, funny, zany story. I don't consider the dogs a flaw, their behavior is obscured by the quick pace of the story. Many years ago, I shared a duplex with a guy who had two vicious Doberman's that scared the bejesus out of everyone, including me. And the neighbor believed in their ferocity, frequently bragging about what they would do to an unwanted ...

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Michał Przywara
22:33 Jun 18, 2023

Heh :) I totally know what you mean. I had a dog once that looked quite dangerous, but he was extremely kind and playful - and wasn't much of a guard dog. Looks can be deceiving :) This specific prompt was actually the one I least considered, but then a story idea hit and I decided to go for it. A but of a challenge, but then again, a challenge is good. I'm glad it was enjoyable!

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Riel Rosehill
16:09 Jun 14, 2023

The plot twists! By the time I expect the new entrant to be another TK fan it's instead a fan of a fan x"D You did a great job coming up with the band and song names here. And swansong919 is as unhinged as it gets - the lengths she'd gone to, dropping out of school to sell dogs so she can break into someone's house..! I mean, there is something to admire in that dedication, and planning and execution, right?! Loved how Neal got a taste of his own medicine too...the irony haha

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Michał Przywara
20:45 Jun 14, 2023

Ha, thanks Riel :D "something to admire in that dedication, and planning and execution" Definitely! There's millions of dentists in the world, but only a handful of grey-market celebrity dog moguls :) Thanks for dropping by! Glad it was funny :)

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Ellen Neuborne
02:26 Jun 14, 2023

Great portrayal of super fans. The characters were lovable and laughable at the same time.

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Michał Przywara
20:49 Jun 14, 2023

Thanks, Ellen! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Russell Mickler
14:17 Jun 13, 2023

Hi Michal - I look forward to your stories. They have a cadence and pacing that slows me down from other authors on Reedsy, like taking a long drive on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Your obsessive fan story reads more like a spy suspense :) The cascading series of events ratchets up the tension, and then we're reminded that we're _not_ in a spy thriller with Neal's juvenile sarcasm with the dogs. Ugh, ruins it :) I didn't participate in this week's prompt because I don't grok fandom, and I don't listen to KPop nor do I enjoy it, and, to me, ...

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Michał Przywara
20:35 Jun 13, 2023

Thanks, Russell! Actually, "akin to a web comic" isn't bad in this case, as it was a bit of a farcical take :) You're right, this prompt - with its obsessive fans - could easily have gone very dark. And breaking and entering is one of the lesser potential crimes it could lead to. But, I wasn't feeling a dark story this week, so it was a more humorous take. A bungled caper, the absurdity of multiple burglars having the same idea and all hitting the same place at the same time, and a bit of what's-good-for-the-goose where the crazed fan ha...

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