The Unicorn

A leaflet falls through my letterbox, "Class of Alto High 2009 - you are cordially invited to our ten-year reunion". My heart was racing, it's been a full decade since I left a young, shy, average boy and grown into the man I am now. Everything I had done since, was leading up to this legendary party. I had fantasised about how I would walk in, acne gone, muscles gained, and a whole bulk of charisma. I checked my socials, “she” was going. As were her friends unfortunately. She liked me in school, I'm sure of it - I know it's just because her friends thought I was a dork she would never go out with me. Protecting her reputation and status. She was cheer captain and I was on the chess team.  

I was pretty depressed since graduating, I’ll be honest. I felt I had lost a purpose in life, those same people you spend years with, in that bubble, with the routine. Everything you do in some way is linked to school – friends, relationships and the reason why we get up in the morning. I graduated and felt like I lost that, I went to college but it was never the same. It was like I was trying to recreate school. The weirdest thing though, while I was in school, I hated it. I only kept in touch with one friend, but I haven't seen him for a while since he got a new girlfriend.  

I fantasised about the reunion, walking in people whispering “wow is that JJ?”, I'd walk over to her in her group, and I’d ask her for a dance. She was my unicorn, a mythical creature. I had been chasing her since I first lay eyes on her. She was walking in with fishnets, black high heels and a white t-shirt. She had black hair but eyes as blue as the ocean. She was looking for her English class, as was I and we found it together. I felt it was going to be the start of a great friendship. We talked all morning for the first day, until Lunch - I used to skip that meal (wasn’t a fan of the canteen). I went off to the library and she went herself with a friend from her street. By the time we met after lunch she had a whole new friend group around her and I was left in the dust.  

After a while of being in the background I plucked up the courage to ask her out, I texted her and invited her to a pizza place. She told me “maybe”. The next day I enquired as to whether she was up for it, she said she wasn’t sure. I panicked and said cool let me know. I still remember the glint in her eyes, the smile on her face but also the awkwardness of that. We didn’t talk much, I helped her with some homework now and then though. She got invited to the parties, that I would miss and hear about the next day. 

Now though, that is the past, regrets I can forget. I had changed, I'd had a string of girls left in my trail, I'd been in the gym every day since, and I'm a firefighter. Surely, there’s no way she would turn me down now. I’d became the man every lady wants. Well the man that every lady who wants men wants. I donned my tuxedo and examined myself in the mirror. My heart was beating and I could feel the sweat literally dripping down my arm. Tonight, was the night. Last time I had seen her in person was the prom, I was stag and she went with Chad from the hockey team. Since then I had only seen her post on her socials now and then, Chad never lasted much longer than the prom.  

The reunion was in the gym hall, to get to the hall we had to walk through the halls of the school. It was nostalgic, I got chills thinking about it. How huge apart of my life school was and how I felt when it was over. I often felt regretful, I wish it was more like the movies of going to parties and getting drunk. I wish I played sports. I wish I had her. So much I wish was different. Now was my time. 

They had a bar set up at the right side of the room, I made my entrance as teenage dirtbag by Wheatus played. I walked to the bar, bought a beer and turned around to see if I noticed anyone. Everyone looked different, she hadn’t arrived yet. I checked my Rolex, I was early – she was probably fashionably late. I saw one of my chess buddies so went to say hi. He was still as awkward and nerdy as ten years ago. I found out he was now the CEO of a Silicon Valley tech company. He complimented me, told me I looked good. I told him he’s not my type. He said he knew exactly who my type was with a wink. I laughed him off, pretended I wasn’t still infatuated with my high school crush.  

I had never felt it was just a high school crush though, I felt it was so much more. Like we were two souls destined to be together and the fact we weren't was a mess up in the space time continuum. Maybe if we don’t get together some random unpredictable occurrence like a killer virus might destroy the world. It was imperative that our souls collided in the way nature intended.  

She hadn’t arrived yet. I checked her snapchat, but she had her ghost turned off. I was starting to get nervous; I hadn’t prepared for the fact maybe she moved on from high school and is just letting bygones be bygones. When all hope was fading though my princess's carriage arrived. Her and her group of girls walked in laughing and giggling. She wore a red velvet dress that made my mouth drool. The nerd slapped me and told me I was staring. I waited for thirty minutes working up the courage to go over and talk to her. The clock was ticking though, I pulled out my hip flask took a swig of vodka and walked over to my future wife. 

“Hey, hi, you look good, I was wondering, if you maybe wanted to, possibly, if its ok with you, have maybe a like dance with you or something?” 

I’d blown it. 

“Yeah sure” 

My heart was over the rainbow, I'd done it, the cat was in the bag, the apollo had landed. 

“Let me just check if it’s okay with my girlfriend” 

“Your girlfriend?” 

“Well, fiancé” 

“Your … gay?” 

“um yes JJ?” 

“oh” 

I walked out, left the dance. I’d blown it. Time to move on.