A Bunny "Tale", To Make You Be "Hoppy"

  A Bunny, “Tale” To Make You Be, “Hoppy”

     Once upon a time up in Danville, Va., there lived a little, brown bunny who had 9 siblings. Its parents couldn’t tell if it was a boy or girl when it was just fresh-hatched, (it’s really hard to tell on a rabbit).  Therefore, “it’s” parents decided if it was a girl, they’d name her Misty, or if it was a boy, they’d name him Mister. The same for the others. It wouldn’t matter until the little thing was older anyway, so they weren’t worried about it.  Their main concern was thinking of names for those children that were each born at the same time.  The daddy told mommy, “You choose, dear, I’m late! I’m late for a very important date,' and I’ve got to tell my Playboy friends they’ve finally come.  They’re trashy friends so they want to see your, ‘litter.’  It's been over a month since you had some so it’s time for more."

     Ironically, several years later all the baby bunnies grew up, the way most babies have a way of doing, to the mom's shegrin, because most of them would love for their young- ’uns to remain babies forever, but it never happens, and so consequently, all the babies in that litter each managed to somehow or other grow up anyway, in spite of how much the momma wants them to remain little.  At any rate, their mommy wanted their daddy to put some big rocks on their heads to keep them from growing up so quickly, but the only thing that came from that was sore muscles for the daddy who had to bring all of them in so that they could put them where they had to go.  Yet in spite of all they tried, each one of those little kits grew up quickly, especially since it only takes 5 weeks for the mommy to have another colony.  Sometimes if one of the parents lost all those babies at the same time they would call it “The Lost Colony.”  That’s how it is for those tiny fur-balls who loved garbage, but none of the animals had the nerve to call them, “trashy.”

     As those rabbits began to grow up, which didn’t take very long because the momma saw to that, right when they were old enough to wiggle their little noses and look cute, that was the sign for them to be, “boot”ed out of their happy-home, since sometimes it took the daddy to actually, “kick” those sweet, little fur,-”balls” with legs and long ears out of his and mommy's home. When that occurred, quite often the 2 remaining parents go hole-hunting to, “down”-size their new home, even though it would often take a duck to do it. Still, that’s what they all do when children throw things at them, they would, “duck.”  (I’m doing great with those puns so you can call me butter ‘cause I’m on a, "role)." That’s a pretty good indication if a dachshund was to read this they’d be in a, “role,” or rather a bun, and, “buy” the, “weigh,” that’s also what I need to add on to the kerds for Little Miss Muphit, although she should really try to look into getting a chair instead of having to, “tough-it” out.  I need to cook a Bunt cake so it will be ready for baseball season just in case they have to make some, “bunts,” that remind me of the kind of pan to use in order to bake it, or advance my runner to scoring position). Sorry, I am hungry.  That is the reason for all these food-jokes.  If I had some eggs, preferably the kind that don’t, “lay” around each time I, “white” something down I always get that, “knead” to be remembered like how to earn some, “bread,” even though it seems like I’m always, “kneading” some, “dough,” but when I earn enough of it then I will take it easy and can, “loaf” a lot more.  (Puns are cool so I, “play” with words more than, “play” my own guitar). I'm a wordsmith, not like Joseph Smith who needed, "More-men" to join his denomination of Christianity because if we mess up, I would say, "Jease us!"

    Getting back to the original story line, to keep on making multiple trips to the bank to go, “burrow” some money, since that’s more than likely what I would end up living in anyway, it was rather difficult to save any cash when the momma bunny kept buying things for the family or else for all those babies who had come to live with them until they got old enough for a, " 'hare'-cut." They're not much for division, although they sure are good at, "multiplying."

    As each little kit grew up and turned into an adult, they’d start planning their own families and where they should live to raise them the best way.  Still, as the bunnies each grew up and moved away from their parent’s protection, they had the same problems all bunnies have when they first move out.  Some of them were learning the best ways to survive without mommy and daddy being around them.  One occupation their oldest male kit wanted was to become a, 

“ ‘hare’ stylist.”  That came natural to him because it was his goal to make all the customers be as, "hoppy" as possible without, “splitting, ‘hares.’ ”  Another one was bound and determined to be a guard at a cassle because each animal who came by that place which shouldn’t be there, he’d reach in and put a g in front of his words, “rab-it,” before it got away from him.  Others went into different, “fields” of work, even though it was quite difficult to help those young- ‘uns grow up, their parents were excellent at trying to give it their best shot at everything they attempted to do throughout their lifetimes.  Several of those youngsters did eventually grow up, even though none of the other family members had any faith in them that they could do anything worthwhile.  With each of those kits, Mamma and Daddy had to teach them everything they would need to know in life by the time it was time to, as they say, “break the umbilical cord” and just let them take whichever path they chose to go in life.  One thing that would mean was if they ever ran out of food, they would have to go down to Mr. Mc Greager's farm and with each vegetable he had growing there, grab it, so he could truly be what is known among all other bunnies, it's a, “grabbit-rabbits.”  That would make sure all of the best members of their family would turn out making positive contributions to society somehow.  On the other paw, some of those less-intelligent members of their family could possibly end up getting involved with insect-killing as a vocation, so in other words, each of those rabbits would wind up being a, “ ‘Bug’s’ Bunny.”  The only other job that would be good for a rabbit to have would be a, “foot-seller” which should only be done as a last resort because some people would pay mega-bucks so they could have a rabbit’s foot for a good-luck charm, but personally, I don’t think that is accurate because it certainly didn't bring the poor rabbit any luck, at least none of the right kind anyway. Please write me back when you have time. Sincerely, your soon-to-be favorite, oddest, multi talented, self-loathing, blood-bought Christian, red-haired, blue-eyed, poet-author-comedian you'll ever be affiliated with in this lifetime, Cuz Roye. Roye comes from the French word for King, it's where Royal derived from. In Celtic it means, (get this), red-hair. Now, is that a coincidence? I think not! God knew what He was doing when He hatched me from that woodpecker's egg. That's why I'm so, "Cheep!" with my money and why I'm such a, "bird-brain." I don't know, "feather" you like my work or not. Hopefully, "my-great" sense of humor's, "egg"-zactly what you needed to make you use those resorious muscles, also those zigomatticuss major and minor muscles since they're the ones that are used for laughing. Still, one thing that would really make me happier is to have you dial my phone number, and that is, ....1-434-XXX-XXXX. Please call me sometime, or call me, Cuz. Now, give me a ring when you have the time. but I am not proposing. Rather cause my phone to play that beautiful one-note melody which would be pure music-to-my-ears so call me sometime, or call me, "Cuz." That would turn my mouth from an n shape into a u shape. In other words, the corners would point north instead of south. S

Then one day while Misty, or Mister as the case may be, was hopping through the woods, she-he wasn't watching where it was going and stepped into a rope trap. It sprung her way up in the air and just left her hanging there, upside down just a hanging and swinging twixt the Heavens and Earth. While trying to think of a way to get lose, the sound of footsteps tromping through the leaves started getting cloceer and closer to where he-she hung by the trap. Then she heard some laughing. It was from the person who' was responsible for all those fresh vegitables he'd been eating, Mr. McGregger.