Drama Fantasy Fiction

             James knew he was getting close to finishing his job. A job he figured will be his last one for he is getting too old to do such a task for much longer. Too many times, his life almost ended because of his reactions slowing down. More times have come where he has been wounded or inches away from death. If he continues this path, death will welcome him. Part of him welcomed it, for his life was not a pleasant one but a necessity to rid this land of the evil.

             “Will life be better once I am done with this job?” he asked himself many times.

             He has his doubts, but at least he is willing to try the unknown. If it does not work, he can go back to doing this job until the final blow strikes to bring his bliss.

             James enters the building that is ten stories tall. For most humans, it would take many hours to search out the hunted. For James, he can sense the approximate location of his target.

             “Sixth floor,” he thought. “Rooms six-ten to six-twenty.”

             He went to the stairs and started his ascent to the sixth floor. As he neared the floor, he stepped lightly and calmed his breathing. It does not take much to alarm the one he nears. Many escaped in his beginning days as he displayed less control. That was a long time ago. Now a simple step for him to put in effect.

             James steps into the hallway of the sixth floor. His target is nearby. His arms tingle and warm up as he can sense the presence getting closer and closer.

             “It has kept me financially stable,” he mutters as thoughts of if this was worth it constantly pops into his mind. “But how dead I feel inside.”

             He nears the door where behind is his target. A target that has not moved. Good. The target does not know their end is at hand.

             “End this vile race.”

             James steps in front of the door, preparing for anything that might come his way. With the wave of his hand, the door opens. He immediately sees his target as she sits in a chair by the window, looking at him.

             “She knew I was coming?” he thought.

             He enters the room with the door closing behind him.

             “Welcome,” she says as the tendrils sprouting from her head casually wave around.

             James looks at her hands to see if there is anything that can cause him harm. Nothing. as she rests her arms on the armrests.

             “You know I was coming?”

             “I knew the day would come.”

             James quickly scans the room, for this seems to be too easy. Nothing out of the ordinary he can see or sense.

             “Bring your mission to an end,” she says. “Just know that I forgive you, for you have been deceived so you do not know what you do.”

             “Huh? What do you mean?”

             “It will soon be revealed to you.”

             “I don’t know what you are talking about, but this ends,” he says and with a flick of his hand, a blade takes his target in the chest. The force of the strike tips the chair back, and she crashes through the window to the ground below.

             “My last job is done,” he says.

             How easy it was after she spoke such nonsense. Forgiveness? This corrupt race is forgiving him. They are the ones who need to ask for forgiveness.

             James turns around and is about to flick the door open when he hears the cry of a young one behind him. He spins around, looking for the source, but sees no one. Then the cry again, which comes from the other side of the bed, on the floor. No sensing of this one. Too young, which happens of ones in innocence.

             He walks over to the side of the bed and sees a young one of the vile race, lying there. She is so young that she still looks remarkably like a human. Is she the child of the one he just took care of?

             James was about to turn around and leave, but he stopped himself.

             “Maybe I should at least put her on the bed and notify someone.”

             But why do so when one day someone will hunt this young one down? Let her die now. He opened the door and stepped out but stopped again.

             “I can’t abandon no matter the race.”

             He went back into the room and over to the young one.

             “Not sure why I am saving you,” he said, and reached down to pick her up.

             As he picked her up to put on the bed, the young one reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck. A flash and it felt like the scales fell from his eyes. He fell back onto the bed as his head is filled with knowledge of the race he has been eradicating. Darkness takes him.

             James opens his eyes. He sits up and looks around. The small child is nowhere in sight. He looks over at the shattered window, then to the closed door.

             “Was this a set-up?” he thought. “Are these thoughts of the race I have been hunting for years true?”

             He knew the answer was yes and hung his head in shame to believe in the propaganda put forth about this race. A race that he was taught to hate and eradicate.

             “I have been made a fool and ended many innocent lives.”

             James’ time to retire will have to wait. It is his job now to teach others like him they have been in the wrong.

             James leaves the room and begins his crusade. He finds out with the touch of his hands he can help others realize they had been fooled. The numbers grow as days go by. But they do not know there is a dark force that started the slaughter that has plans to take James and his followers out. But the race once killed off one by one by James and his followers know of the force. War is in the air.

Posted Oct 07, 2022
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21 likes 5 comments

Martin Ross
14:18 Feb 08, 2023

I loved the straightforward telling, which emphasized the philosophical/social issues. I admire authors who can carry off the present tense, and you did a terrific job of it!

Reply

Martin Ross
14:18 Feb 08, 2023

I loved the straightforward telling, which emphasized the philosophical/social issues. I admire authors who can carry off the present tense, and you did a terrific job of it!

Reply

Corey Melin
02:49 Feb 09, 2023

Greatly appreciate the comments!

Reply

Tommy Goround
21:29 Jan 19, 2023

I don't know if Moby Dick would work anymore. Not because of whale oil replaced by electricity but because it is a book of conscious.

Angel of Death?

While reading this I was wondering how the angel of death felt and then realized that you were probably writing about the angel of death. "Angel of the Lord" is more intricate. (Yashua before the flesh?)

The human mother is flat. As a character. Nearly static. I don't know if there's a fix.

1) if you set this further back from when he was first deceived.... It's just going to come off as some Cult stuff and lose its thematic value.
2) any metaphor you would give this would be the same problem as when Christ says, "if you don't understand the things I say of this world how will you understand the things of the world to come."

In this regard you have a real challenge showing the first chapter of Hebrews where it discusses the pecking order of God to angels to humans. What are humans that God is mindful of them.

Super kudos and please let me stop to say that you are immensely successful in giving Christian themes in the last three stories I have read without preaching. Since the audience is secular or mixed you have to put themes in a way that is digestible.

You're going to have to sell the world that there are angels. That it's a serious topic and not just something for fiction. Netflix has Satan as the protagonist and he holds a party every week and people think that's really possible. The deceiver.

Another guy got to win on this platform by saying that scientists got rid of God. It was a good story and a disgusting message. I asked one of the judges who was so happy to give that guy the win: why don't I show all of the readers how to create a nuclear bomb. If we have 1 billion bombs in the world is the world more safe and smart and justified and beautiful?

So there's a race of sorts to be as disgusting and secular and artistically thematic as possible. A race to the bottom... That would not exist unless there's a top.

(I am personally guilty of this as well).

It has to be layer 2 in a story otherwise you lose the audience. Maybe Braveheart, the movie, does the best at layer 1 to convey sacrifice for the common good. (one man should suffer so that a nation won't fall). Braveheart literally had a form of crucification at the end. Layer 1.

:)

Idk. I don't know. Having to spell out the truth almost ruins the story. If you don't spell out the truth then people take it completely opposite to your intention. Bruce Springsteen wrote Born in the USA to be anti-war. When Ronald Reagan used it as his presidential song, Bruce Springsteen said nothing. When the song became a rallying cry for nationalism (and the successive concepts of being proud or needing a military).... Bruce Springsteen said nothing.

So you would probably feel terrible if people took your stories and your works of art to become exactly opposite of your intention. I guess we still have to speak in parables.

(I took one story down because some responder on readsy thought I was talking about a perversion towards my own daughter). People bring their own crappy interpretations when they see a story. Forgive me if I'm in left field.

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Corey Melin
23:30 Jan 19, 2023

I am totally with you. People tend to take so many things the wrong way. Happens all the time with the Bible. People like to rearrange so it makes them feel better and/or in their safe room.
When it comes to winning it’s the roll of the dice. It’s not so much about the best story out of all for that particular contest. It’s hoping your story is read by others at the perfect timing.

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