A Long Ride

Philadelphia’s downtown area always came alive the most in the summertime. On top of the daily business of the city’s regular denizens, tourists flooded in from every part of the country into Center City, desperate to get pictures in the Museum of Art or of Independence Hall. Thankfully, that was mostly during the day, and when the night came around, the city was a lot quieter. At least, if you ignored the gunshots.

There was something about the dark that always made people feel like they could get away with anything. My father certainly thought so. During the day, he was the perfect family man, but as soon as the sun set, he was cruising the streets for hookers while Mom drank herself into a 12-hour coma. The darkness feels like a mask, as if when people couldn’t see you, they could not hold you accountable. So, why not indulge?

I had that thought a few hours ago. That’s probably why I’m running for my life through Penn’s Landing. Who’s chasing me? I’m not too sure. Maybe Lennie finally sent his “shark muscle” to disincentivize my chronic gambling losses. Could be some friends of Donna, thirsty for blood after hearing one too many of her colorful and one-sided retellings of our breakup. Or was it just a bunch of world-class assassins blowing off steam by hunting down the nearest loser?

All are intriguing possibilities, I admit, but at the moment, the lion's share of my cognition is invested in dodging the bullets being fired at me. What the hell are these guys thinking? Two sets of sunglasses and generic black suits are all that conceal their identities. Did these idiots think they were the Men in Black?

At least they had more brain cells than the other nightcrawlers of Penn’s Landing. I’ve been shot at six times and I can barely get a disinterested glare from these hovering halfwits. 

Actually, I’m the dumbest because I run right into the Marina. Rows of boats on either side, the dock ahead of me leads straight into the Delaware River. I know how to swim but also that testing those skills against the river’s current would be my worst gamble yet. 

I’m about thirty seconds away from being completely screwed when I turn my head to sight my pursuers. Only I can’t because they're gone. What? Where did-

A sudden crash ends that train of thought. It's followed by a brief scream and then the splash of water. Deep water. Oh God, I’m about to drown. I want to live. Please, God. And with the beginning of an impromptu and insincere prayer, the world cuts to black.

*

The black gradually fades back to the world. The first thing I notice is that my clothes are soaked. I was lying down in a bed that was too cozy. A brightness peaked from the left side of my vision. The sun? The dock. It all came back to me. I was running for my life and then… and then?

That crashing feeling. Someone was in front of me. I was going too fast to stop, knocking us both into the river. I must have blacked out afterward. Is this a hospital?

When my vision had fully returned, I sat up in bed. In the left corner of the room was a tall, pale woman. The very person I had crashed into during my incredibly stupid escape.

 “Where am I?” I asked politely.

The woman had a small, sinister smile on her face, which gave way to a cynical chuckle. I did not share her amusement.

“What’s so funny?” I asked in a decidedly less polite tone. 

Before I could escalate my interrogation, my train of thought halted sharply. An uncertainty had become palpable in the room. There was an unwelcome movement that was not my own. So subtle yet undeniable. Like the ground beneath my feet was loose and fragile, except I could see it was solid. Then I look out the window.

Oh my God.

I jump from the bed and rush past the woman, bumping into her as I do so. I couldn't care less, and her body language betrays the same sentiment. As soon as I'm through the door, my legs turn to jelly. The reality surrounding me constricts my lungs and evaporates my muscles.

We’re on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Hours ago, I was home in Philly. I was running for my life, but I was home. For anything I had trouble with, there was also time to find a solution. Now I don’t know where I am. I have no experience, no stable plan or template for this. 

“Relax, dude,” she said from behind me, resting a cold hand on my shoulder. “No more worries from here on.”

I get to my feet as I violently turn around. She’s now holding a steaming cup of coffee in her left hand. She holds her right hand up in a mock surrender. “Who the hell are you? Why am I on a Goddamned boat?”

That same unsettling smile reappeared. “He really does not like being taken in vain. Been 10,000 years and Luci still hasn’t heard the end of it. Still got off easier than Lilith.”

“Your name?!”

“Oh, just call me Kari.” She extended her left hand, offering the coffee. Making a tactical decision, I accepted the bitter beverage and took a sip.

“Ok, Kari. Thank you for the joke. Can we please return to land?”

Now the smile drops into a resigned frown. “It’ll be a long time before we reach ‘land’, and it won’t be the one you're thinking of.”

“What does that mean?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”

My right palm impacted my head and I paced around the boat. Suddenly, I got in a panic trying to remember the last time I went to the bathroom. I looked over the side of the deck and briefly decided to jump overboard if I smelled any urine in my pants. But I was able to compose myself because in remembering the circumstances that led me to this moment, I came to a realization.

I turned around to see that Kari had followed me. “Tell Lennie he really got me.”

Her eyebrows were raised. “Who?”

“He put the fear of God in me, I promise. I’ll pay him back with 75% interest. He’ll never get another late payment.”

Kari blankly stared at me before she squinted and pinched the space between her eyes. “This is gonna be a long ride.”