On the subject of fear.

Can I take a day off on Monday? - asked Sara to the housekeeper, Lucy, for whom she had been working as a housekeeper for about 4 years. The days off were floating, and they discussed this issue on Sunday for the coming week.

Ooooh! - Lucy answered in confusion, confused, not expecting this question. Oh, how inappropriate it was for her now. This is that awkward moment when she is forced to tell about her plans, because of her secrecy she did not like it. Lucy preferred to keep everything to herself, she was secretive, distrustful, hyper-controlling, cautious, jealous and cunning! And also grateful, wise, kind and generous!

Luсу with her husband and three daughters recently moved from the Netherlands to sunny Spain, and were looking for a housekeeper for their two-story house, who would keep it clean and cook for the whole family.

Sara is an orphan, a simple, calm, patient, freedom-loving, serious girl, but with character. Her patience was immeasurable. She chose her words carefully, because she knew the value of words. Words - how weighty they are in a person's life! How a word can caress and, at the same time, belittle. And sometimes, words are simply not needed! Silence, sometimes, as support. But if her cup of patience was full, then in a fit of emotion she could allow herself to say a sharp word. She had absolutely no experience as a housekeeper, did not like to cook, but urgently needed work. She decided to try herself here, and at the same time will look for a vacancy suitable for her profession. By profession, she was a marketer. She went to study there not out of great love, but because she needed to get a higher education. Without experience, they do not particularly hire, the competition is high, and money is needed now. She had no support, she relied on herself in life.

That's how they began to work together, on a note of "not quite right", "temporary". And as often happens, "temporary" becomes "permanent"!

And so, Lucy sighed tensely and, with regret in her eyes, was forced to tell Sara that they had found a replacement for her! Sara had 3 more days to work and they no longer needed her as a housekeeper! There was no need for her! 3 days! That's it! For Sara, it was like a "bolt from the blue"! She understood everything in her head and knew that sooner or later they would go their separate ways in life, like ships at sea. And still, it was spontaneous and unexpected for her, which caused a storm of emotions inside. Anger, rejection, anxiety, fear, embarrassment, excitement, sympathy, and, oddly enough, confidence, calm, pride in her resilience in the face of shocking news for her. Shocking because it was spontaneous, that there were so few days left to work, and now it was gone. It was still unpleasant. And all these emotions launched their internal processes. The anger inside Sara made her want to tell Lucy "her truth" as they said goodbye! Sympathy calms passions and says "Don't tell anyone!". Rejection screams to tell! And not just from caring for Lucy and the desire to help her, but from pain, anger, wanting to "bite back" and "hurt harder". Anxiety and fear worry about possible negative consequences, for example, bad recommendations, and, again, an internal command is heard: "Don't tell anyone!".

What does Sara want to tell Lucy out of anger or compassion??? It may sound trite, but about her husband's betrayal while Lucy was away with the children at a resort during the summer holidays! Lucy's hyper control was not intrusive. It was expressed in controlling questions, as if by chance. Lucy also needed a housekeeper as "her eyes" during her absence from the house. And, also, she watched distrustfully, carefully and cunningly so that betrayal would not happen with young Sara and her breadwinner husband. And it was not for nothing that Lucy was afraid of betrayal! It happened! Her husband cheated! And so Sara felt the burden of unjustified expectations, tacitly placed on her shoulders by Lucy. She did not live up to her expectations and needs - to be devoted, faithful, submissive. She not only did not live up to the trust, but became an accomplice in her husband's betrayal! How did this happen? All the questions and realizations surfaced in her head after what happened. Sara made the guest bed at her husband's request, and a few days later she was tidying up the house: washing and ironing the same bed linen. Sara didn't see a single person, she just knew! She knew by the little details in the house, by Lucy's husband's behavior. And a couple of days after the betrayal, their house was robbed. Lucy asks Sara: "Did she see anyone suspicious, unfamiliar near the house?". But she really didn't see anyone! Here, Sara didn't even have to lie! After all, she really didn't see anyone, but she knew that there was a stranger in the house! Fear told Sara: "Don't tell anyone! There is no evidence! They might think it was you and accuse you of slandering your husband! Keep quiet until they ask." Lucy, cunningly, like a fox, casually began to talk to Sara about the robbery as soon as her husband went for a walk. She asked her questions with interest, excitement, disappointment and curiosity and observed Sara's reactions. Sara became excited, realizing that Lucy wanted to find out what had happened in the house during her absence. And paranoia and fear whispered to Sara that she also wanted to make sure that she was not involved in the robbery. Sara didn't have to lie, she just answered the questions clearly, without her "assumptions"! At some point, Sara realized from Lucy's sliding questions that she guessed about a possible unfamiliar guest, but did not want to hear it! She did not want to face this truth! And, accordingly, she asked such questions and did not ask unnecessary ones, those that would raise this topic!

The husband paid for his betrayal - his mistress robbed him. The fear of exposure in betrayal did not give the opportunity to punish the criminal. Lucy, fearing to lose the status of a wealthy wife for her husband the breadwinner - did not want to see the truth - "closed her eyes and ears". Sara, out of fear, kept silent - "shut her mouth" in order to keep her job. Everyone paid their price for their choice!!!

(#ReedsySecrets #422)