Into the Unknown with Wally Wylde

"This world is full of creatures both strange and mysterious. Some have existed millennia, some as little as a few centuries. With each passing day, mankind discovers more and more of these fascinating creatures. I’m Wally Wylde, come with me today as we venture Into the Unknown.”

The camera swept the field from end to end. Beautiful sprigs of wildflowers dotted the tall grass with flashes of reds, yellows, and purples. It was flat enough to see the mountains and forests in the distance. A clear stream curved gracefully through the land. The crew placed themselves strategically to get the perfect angle. Wally crouched down low, spreading his legs far enough to give him support for however long he would need to speak.

“In this beautiful field, you wouldn’t expect to find anything unusual. A deer, a flock of birds, even a moose perhaps, but about eight kilometers from Mount McKinley in Alaska th-”

“Wally, that’s not the name,” one of the producers interrupted.

“What do you mean it’s not the name, Mark?”

“They renamed the mountain, it’s called Denali now,” he said simply.

“Christ, really? When the hell did that happen?”Wally asked, surprised.

“2015, I think.”

Wally shook his head. He cleared his throat and got ready for another try.

“In this beautiful field, you wouldn’t expect to find anything unusual. A deer, a flock of birds, even a moose perhaps, but about eight kilometers from the Denali mountain in Alaska lives an extraordinary creature. 

Today, we follow the elusive Lepus Hematoma one of-”

“Wally!”

“What now Mark?”

“Lepus He-ma-to-pha-gi-a,” he said, sounding it out slowly.

Wally let out a huff. He understood they had to get the information correct, being a nature show and all, but did Mark always need to act like a prick about it? Did he even know they were looking at rabbits today? Wally bounced on his heels a minute before starting again.

“Today we follow the elusive Lepus Hematophagia, one of the oddest creatures we’ve ever encountered. Though talked about in many indigenous legends, this fascinating creature was only confirmed to exist in 2017. A recent and exciting discovery to say the least. Scientists still don’t know too much about these creatures, but here is what we do know.

They have yet to be found anywhere else except certain regions of Alaska. However, fossilized remains discovered near Nuuk, Greenland in 1957 have been proven to be consistent with the Lepus Hematophagia. This has led scientists to believe this species prefers colder climates, and, specifically, areas near mountainous regions.  Why don’t we go and get a better look at its home?”

The crew picked up the equipment and began moving toward some disturbed ground near the river. Wally picked up a long, stray reed and twirled it between his fingers as they walked. Mark looked over and shook his head. Perhaps Wally would remember his lines if he paid attention more. They set up near a lightly covered hole in the ground. Wally backed up, making sure he was about a foot away.

“Alright everyone, look closely. The Lepus Hematophagia, like most rabbits, prefers the comfort of a burrow. They dig about half a meter into the ground to rest and hide their young safely, then cover the opening with bits of grass or reeds. Though the Lepus Hematophagia does not have many known predators, it is cautious by nature. This may be one of the reasons this creature has adopted a nocturnal lifestyle. Let’s see if we can have a safe peek.”

Wally carefully prodded the loose grass aside with his long reed. The last thing he wanted to do was wake the rabbits. He looked over and saw Mark tapping his wrist impatiently, urging him to hurry. Screw Mark. He could wait.

Wally finally created a small opening in the ground. Three small, black rabbits were huddled together near the front. They looked like fluffy, black cotton balls with whiskers. The tiny pink noses twitched a bit as Wally moved the grass, but other than that the rabbits didn’t move. Wally decided to keep his voice low.

“Here we can see a nest of-”

“Wally, speak up,” Mark said, giving a frustrated sigh.

“Wouldn’t be a problem if I had a sound mic, Mark,” Wally whisper-shouted.

“We need the budget for it, which means we need money, which means you need to make this episode so we can earn it. Now, speak up!”

Mark was really starting to piss him off now. Wally glared his way but took a deep breath. The sun would set soon and he wanted to be out of here before night.

“Here we can see a nest of three rabbits. The largest of which is the mother. It might be hard to see, but the female of the species has more pronounced teeth than the males and a redder tint to their gums. Though I wouldn’t recommend getting too close. These things can have a nasty bite. 

In fact, this creature gets its nickname from its bite. The indigenous people of the area-”

“Wally, we don’t have time for this,” Mark groaned.

“You saw the same damn script I did, Mark! In fact, you had to sign off on it.”

“We are losing light while you babble on like this! Just cut this part.”

“Cut it?!” Wally cried indignantly. “It’s practically the most essential part of the script. Christ, Mark! Did you even read the damn thing?”

Mark sighed, he was getting annoyed with all this arguing. “Look, the sun’s going down, we obviously can’t finish today. Let’s just get a shot of you holding one of them and then call it a day.”

Wally jumped up and stepped away from the burrow. Mark glared.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m not touching one of those things! Jesus, you really didn’t read the script at all,” Wally said, shaking his head.

How did Mark become a producer? He was so lazy. Wally couldn’t believe how irresponsible he was. Didn’t Mark know what would happen? Apparently not, because he stormed over.

“It’s a rabbit, Wally. You’ll get a little nip on the hand or a scratch, boohoo. Just pick it up.”

“You can’t pay me enough,” Wally said, laughing.

Mark gave a frustrated sigh and got down on his hands and knees. Why did he always have to do everything himself? Why was Wally always acting like such a child?

Wally grew wide-eyed. “Mark, what are you doing?”

“Getting a rabbit! We’ll get the shot with or without you.”

“Mark, that’s a bad idea.”

“It’s a rabbit, Wally!” He repeated angrily.

“No, Mark! Wait!” Wally cried

As the sun set, Mark reached into the burrow to grab one of the babies. The mother’s eyes suddenly popped open. They were bright red. She opened her mouth and a set of sharp, fang-like teeth shone in the fading light. Red-tinged saliva dripped off of them, and a horrible hiss exited her mouth.

In a moment she lunged right at Mark. The rabbit buried its fangs deep into his exposed neck. Mark screamed out in pain and fear. He reached out for help, but Wally and the crew all backed away. Wally just looked down at him with pity.

“Well, you wanted the shot, I guess we’ll get it,” Wally said simply.

All Mark could do was gurgle as blood squirted from his neck. Wally motioned for the cameras to be on him. He had to do this right. The light was fading, they only had one chance. Wally cleared his throat and started again.

“In fact, this creature gets its nickname from its bite. The indigenous people of the area have dubbed this creature the ‘Vampire Rabbit.’ It is called so because of its fang-like teeth and its taste for blood.

The only known predatory rabbit, it hunts raccoons, deer, moose, and, as you can see, even people. Our poor producer got a little too close to the burrow and has now become a victim to our mother rabbit. She will use her hollowed-out canine fangs to drink the blood from him, like a straw in a juice box. Once he has passed out, she will nudge her babies over to drink from the wound she tore. She will do this until they are old enough to puncture flesh on their own.

Well, as you can see, nature can be mysterious, wonderful, and, in this case, deadly. Careful going out at night, it seems vampires are making a comeback! Trust me, you'll need a lot more than garlic to keep this one away. Once again, I’m Wally Wylde. See you next time for another surprising journey Into the Unknown.”