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Fantasy Kids

The sun shone brightly on a fine Sunday morning.

A large meteor had impacted Earth. It had been years since a meteor had attacked Earth. It caused a lot of damage. Scientists had come to examine the meteor.

There was a man inside the meteor. He was dying. The police took him out of it and admitted him to the hospital. 

Miles, the thin sub inspector of police, came into the hospital room and looked at his patient- a muscular man with black hair and tattoos on his hands and feet. He checked the eyes- brown. He read the file on his mystery patient and called a nurse.

"It says here he was found inside the meteor which fell this morning. We need to keep him for observation and we need to have police in case he's hostile when he wakes up." The whole police force was called.

Miles was very cautious. Not that he was afraid, just he wanted to be safe. His brow furrowed as he wondered what to do next.

*****

The strange man who had been in the meteor woke up suddenly and was very confused. 

“Where am I? Who are you all?” he asked.

“Don’t panic. You are in good hands. We are the police force. Here to help you,” the handsome senior officer, George told the confused stranger.

“Okay. But I want to get out of this weird place and go to my planet."

“You get cured and we will talk about it,” George said.

After a few days, the stranger started to live in the police station. 

“Tomorrow is my birthday,” the stranger said.

“Okay,” George said.

“But, where am I?” the stranger asked. He was still a stranger and the police didn't care to know about him.

“You are on earth. Would you mind saying your name?” George asked.

“I am from Dragon planet. My name is Flame. I am known as the dragon warrior on my planet,” he said sadly. 

“We have never seen anyone from a different planet. Welcome to Earth. Why are you sad?” George asked.

“I can’t celebrate my birthday with my family and friends,” Flame said. 

“Okay. Don’t worry. I am George, the senior here,” the policeman said and went out of the police station leaving Flame alone.

George went out and started talking to Miles.

“We should throw a surprise party for Flame. He doesn’t seem like a bad guy, Miles,” George said. 

“Okay, Sir,” the sub inspector, Miles said.

That night Flame saw the stars with a sad expression. It brought back the memories of his family.

The next day when he woke up, he was surprised. The police station was full of balloons and ribbons.

The police had executed their plan. This made Flame happy.

When the cake was going to be cut, the knife was nowhere to be found. 

Flame took out a small keychain and said,”I summon you, dragon.”

The key chain became a big, shining white sword. The police were terrified.

“Let’s cut the cake, George,” Flame said. 

“Can you please make that sword into that key chain and give it to us?” George said. 

“No way. It does harm only if I attack. It is my favourite sword and I am not going to give this sword to you,” Flame said. 

“Okay. We can cut the cake with a small knife, Flame,” Miles said.

“Okay. I will keep it inside. It is the sword that gives me the name Dragon warrior,” Flame said and made it back into a keychain. 

“Thank you, policemen. I will never forget you, George. But, there will be a day when I have to leave you,” Flame said, sadly.

“Don’t feel sad, Flame. Enjoy the moment,” George said, patting Flame. He gifted a phone to Flame.

The policemen and Flame enjoyed the party. They became exhausted after tidying up the police station. Everyone went to their houses and Flame stayed in the police station.

 He knew that day would come. He started practising with his sword. He knew that his enemy would be powerful.

It rained that night. But, it was not water; it was fire. Everyone was scared.

Next morning, the space scientists decided to identify where the fire rain had come from.

The scientists used telescopes to see into space. But, what they saw had shocked them.

The police were called. Flame had come too. 

Many spaceships were approaching Earth. They had many weapons. 

The scientists zoomed into the spaceship. Flame was very impatient. He was terrified too. He decided to talk to George and the scientists.

“I know them, ”Flame said.

“What are you saying, Flame?” George asked.

“They’re the worst aliens in the universe, the Kaals,” Flame said.

“What do you know about them, Flame?” George asked.

“It was a peaceful morning on my planet, the Dragon planet. My family was living in the outskirts of Phoenix City. The Kaals were always waiting for a chance to attack our planet. We had powerful warriors, and I was one of them, The dragon warrior,” Flame said, wiping away his tears. 

“Don’t cry, Flame. But, with so many powerful warriors, how did your planet lose to them?” George said. 

“The Kaals said that the warriors from my planet were betraying our planet. When the warriors fought they caused a lot of damage. The Kaals told me that they were going to destroy the planet. I believed them and killed all the warriors. I was a fool,” Flame said. 

“Don’t worry, Flame. We are with you. Then what happened to your planet?” Miles said.

“Then they used nuclear bombs to destroy our planet. Not even a single soul remained. The Kaals killed them all. They released me into zero gravity space,” Flame said.

“Then how did you escape, Flame?” George asked. 

“Luckily, I fell onto an asteroid which saved me by bringing me into the Earth,” Flame said.

“Now, what are we going to do?” the scientist asked.

“I have a plan,” Flame said, donning his Dragon warrior suit. It was bright red with a fire symbol on the shoulder. He took out his key chain and made it into his sword. 

*****

After some time, Flame said, “I am going to fight them and save this planet.”

“We will help you,” George said.

“Your weapons will be no match for theirs,” The Dragon Warrior said and walked out confidently. 

As the spaceships entered the Earth, many people locked their houses. 

Even the police force was afraid. There were too many spaceships and the sky blackened out. 

But, the dragon warrior stood there fearlessly.

“See the warrior who killed his planet’s warriors,” the Kaals laughed.

“I have been betrayed once. But, not again,” Dragon warrior said, getting ready to fight.

”What are you going to do alone, Dragon warrior?” the Kaals roared in laughter.

“He is not alone,” George said, taking out his pistol.

“Whatever it takes!” the police force shouted.

It was the start of a war. The Kaals looked furious and ugly. They took their weapons and formed the army. They had a huge army. But, the dragon warrior was not afraid. 

He was ready to fight. But, suddenly something struck him.

The dragon warrior started laughing. 

“Hi Kaals, thank you for coming to help me. I am also going to destroy this planet, Kaals,” the dragon warrior said. He slashed his sword on some buildings and made them collapse.

“Yea,” shouted the excited Kaals who had no work to do now.

Then the dragon warrior said, ”it is a waste of time destroying this planet. There are no warriors here.”

“Yes, you are right. There are no warriors here,” the Kaal leader said.

The dragon warrior got into one of the spaceships of the Kaals. 

He gave a large grin to police officer George. George was surprised and sad.

“We will come again to destroy this planet,” The Dragon Warrior said to George.

“You are a cheater, Flame!” George shouted.

The dragon warrior texted to George,“Don't worry, my friend. This is my idea to save your planet and destroy Kaals at the same time. I am not a cheater. I will come back here whenever I get time. I am also sad for the Kaals.” 

The dragon warrior got a reply from George, ”you have done the greatest help to the planet. We are awaiting your return. Destroy the Kaals.”

The Kaal leader had a plan to kill Flame. But, the dragon warrior had a different plan.

The dragon warrior took out his large sword and grinned, ”Sorry, Kaals. I am going to have a feast now.” 

*****



August 24, 2020 17:41

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239 comments

Very awesome story! You use ¨said¨ quite a bit, you may want to change that up and use different words like asked, exclaimed, and more. It was a very creative spin on the prompt, awesome job!!

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The Cold Ice
16:39 Sep 08, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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Of course!!!

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The Cold Ice
04:14 Sep 16, 2020

Why you deleted your story.

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Check my bio. :)

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The Cold Ice
03:03 Sep 17, 2020

Ok !I will check yours.

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The Cold Ice
06:12 Sep 17, 2020

Oh!!it got deleted.

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Hriday Saboo
06:26 Aug 31, 2020

👋 hey Sahitthian read my new story pls

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The Cold Ice
04:06 Sep 09, 2020

Would you mind to read my new story The dragon warrior part 2

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Hriday Saboo
04:18 Sep 09, 2020

Sure

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The Cold Ice
05:32 Oct 09, 2020

Sure.

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D. Shikha
12:24 Aug 28, 2020

Wow, Amazing fantasy. The idea of a person coming in meteor was so creative. Good job👍 Stay safe & keep writing:) P.S. Would you mind reading my first story?

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The Cold Ice
15:26 Aug 28, 2020

Sure I will read.Thank you for reading.

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Clara D Berry
04:53 Aug 27, 2020

Hi Sahitthian! This is a great first story. I love the idea of a meteor falling to Earth with a person inside. The person would have to have a pretty strong body to survive that, but he's an alien, so anything goes. It would be interesting to see more of his backstory. Maybe you can return to it in a later story. It seems a bit fantastic for the Kaals to trick him into killing his own army, but that could be explained if his backstory was explored more. The keychain was interesting - if he has magic it could explain how he survived the fall....

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The Cold Ice
05:18 Aug 27, 2020

I am glad you enjoyed the story. That’s a lot of homework. I was afraid when I saw such a long comment. I have finished it. Thank you for typing Such a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong comment.(the o’s are not enough I think) Thank you for reading. I want your help in my future stories.

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12:07 Aug 26, 2020

The story was imaginative and creative. I appreciate your interest in such a young age. Keep writing like your brother. Waiting for your stories!!

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The Cold Ice
13:04 Aug 26, 2020

Thank you for reading, Shobie.

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10:50 Oct 08, 2020

As requested, I am here to read your story! You definitely have a pure love for writing and storytelling, so I would love to help you hone your craft. I have a few critiques other than cleaning up dialogue tags and grammar in general more related to the story structure itself. The narration seems to shift between a broad summary of events to the small interactions between characters, which can be jarring for readers. I recommend narrating first and then diving into dialogue so it's not muddled in the middle. The dialogue itself seems a b...

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The Cold Ice
06:27 Oct 09, 2020

Thanks. I will work on it. Ok ,I will work on it.Thanks. Thank you for reading. Keep writing. (Would you mind liking my second part)?Thanks?

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Kendall Defoe
14:59 Sep 21, 2020

You may need an editor, but you have put a movie in my head... Off to read part II.

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The Cold Ice
15:47 Sep 21, 2020

Yeah, I definitely need one. Glad I put a movie in your head. Thank you for reading.

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Cal Carson
17:05 Sep 19, 2020

Hey, Sahitthian. Great read. I always love to see fellow sci-fi writers on the site. I just had a few tips. (Of course, they're completely optional, it's your story.) Your sentences sometimes have a tendency to be basic. Maybe include more figurative language, such as metaphors, hyperboles, and similies? I think your writing could improve a lot if you tried to show, not tell. Making the reader have to make inferences and discover the hidden meaning behind your words might make for a more enjoyable read. Don't always directly say...

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The Cold Ice
17:10 Sep 19, 2020

Thank you for reading.Please read my story the dragon warrior part 2?”

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Cal Carson
17:15 Sep 19, 2020

Sure! While I'm at it, I can read your most recent one too. I'm happy to help people grow. However, I can't do it at this moment. It might be a while, sorry. BTW, great to see someone so young already passionate about writing! Keep it up! :)

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The Cold Ice
17:26 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks.

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X Y
17:37 Sep 16, 2020

Wow! This is such an ingenious concept. On top of that, your grammar is impeccable and the plot and characters are fascinating. Well done!

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The Cold Ice
06:04 Sep 17, 2020

Thank you so much.I am glad you like the characters.Thank you for reading.

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Maybe Jupiter
22:55 Sep 12, 2020

Such a creative concept, wonderful for your age! One tip is to add more description, but overall great idea.

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The Cold Ice
04:49 Sep 13, 2020

Thank you for reading.(Would you mind reading my second part)

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Javith Hussain87
06:51 Sep 09, 2020

Very good story i liked this story amazing

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The Cold Ice
06:58 Sep 09, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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Javith Hussain
06:40 Sep 09, 2020

This story very very good

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The Cold Ice
06:41 Sep 09, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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22:10 Sep 08, 2020

Flame and his wish for a birthday party made me smile! Even alien-slaying dragon warriors need birthdays

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The Cold Ice
01:26 Sep 09, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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Lyn M
15:54 Sep 08, 2020

Hey, this is really cool! I absolutely love the Dragon Warrior character and how even though all this conflict is going on, what he's really sad about is missing his birthday; he's just so sweet. I also really like how even to the very end it's difficult to say exactly what his intentions are, which keeps it interesting. Great story!

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The Cold Ice
04:26 Sep 09, 2020

I am glad you liked Dragon warrior. Thank you for reading.

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Daryl Gravesande
05:38 Sep 08, 2020

Great story! Keep on writinggg!

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The Cold Ice
05:40 Sep 08, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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Daryl Gravesande
01:17 Sep 11, 2020

ofcccc

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Sarah Dell
17:50 Sep 06, 2020

Nice story!

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The Cold Ice
01:58 Sep 07, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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Tim Law
00:18 Sep 06, 2020

Thanks for asking me to read your story Sahitthian 👍 The first part reminded me a little of Superman. An interesting twist with the Dragon Warrior pretending to betray Earth but then double crossing the Kaals 🤔 Well done! Well done on establishing such a strong following already too 😮 You seem to have the marketing side of writing sorted!

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The Cold Ice
03:47 Sep 06, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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09:44 Sep 17, 2020

Nice story. Keep writing 👌👌👏👏👍👍👍

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The Cold Ice
09:56 Sep 17, 2020

Thank you.

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Vikraman Arut
14:12 Sep 11, 2020

That was a good read!

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The Cold Ice
14:12 Sep 11, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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James Offenha
21:50 Sep 05, 2020

Good work. All the sentences in this story are short. It would be nice if a few longer sentences were put in this story. Also, I want to hear more of the back story of the warrior. You give some, but why does he care about Earthlings or even know he’s no longer on his planet? With Sci-Fi a lot of details are needed. Try reading Douglas Adams. Good start

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The Cold Ice
03:51 Sep 06, 2020

Thank you for reading.(would you mind liking my story)

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