Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff Gets A One Star Rating

Hello, my name is Barbara and I am a waitress at Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff. We have the distinct honor of getting a one star rating! How wonderful! I am keeping track of our daily reviews from our wonderful customers. Keep them coming! We at Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff love our one star rating!

1. BURNT OFFERINGS . I give the scrambled eggs a rating of 1 or even -1 for the following reasons. The eggs were not fresh, they smelled rotten, the milk was sour, the butter was rancid and the cook was angry.
2. TOO MUCH SALSA. I give the taco made for me by Barbara a rating of -1 because she opened the jar of salsa over the taco. The taco was literally swimming in salsa and after about 10 minutes of staring at this mess, I walked out of the diner. Appropriately called, "Sloppy Joes Tacos and Stuff".
3. SOGGY BACON. I give the bacon a -100 because of several factors. The bacon was limp as a noodle, it looked like it was celebrating St. Patrick's Day, the bacon was so green. it smelled like old socks and it tasted like dirt. I was so mad that I threw the bacon at the wall and of course, it stuck.
4. DIRTY SILVERWARE. I give the diner "Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff" a rating of 0 or maybe 1 at the most because I swear I saw the waitress blowing her nose in a napkin and rubbing the napkin on my silverware! I called her out on this and she said that she was angry at me for forgetting her birthday and she was organically having her revenge. Do not, I repeat, do not eat here. Its vile!
5. FLATULENCE. I again give the diner "Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff" a rating of 1 because the whole staff cannot hold in the farts they have saved for their customers. It smells to high heaven in this diner. I swear the wait staff and cashiers marinate their bodies in beans and franks.
6. BAD LANGUAGE. The staff at "Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff" practices bad language. I give the diner a rating of 1 for their lack of creativity in choosing their words. Serving a taco with a curse word in UNACCEPTABLE. I hope future patrons bring along some soap for the potty mouths of the staff at Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff.
7. HEALTH VIOLATIONS. I am the health officer for this fictional county and city and I give "Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff" a rating of 1 and that is pushing it. This diner is filthy and the floors are dirty, the tables are not cleaned, the staff does not wear masks and they sneeze over everyone. Do not, I repeat, do not eat here!
8. THE DAILY SPECIAL. The Daily Special at Sloppy Joe's Taco's and Stuff is given a rating of 1. The meat used in the tacos is rotten, the taco shells are broken, the salsa is rancid and the staff is foaming at the mouth. Run, don't walk, out of Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff!
9. BIRTHDAY PARTIES. Do not, I repeat do not book a birthday party at Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff. The Birthday Cake is green, the frosting has bugs on it and the juke box doesn't have any birthday songs! Stay home and make your own cake. The staff at Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff is No place to have a birthday party. You will end up in the Emergency Room! Therefore, I give Sloppy Joe's Taco's and Stuff a rating of 1.
10. FIRES. Several grease fires have been caused by the cook staff at Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff. I give this diner a rating of 1. This diner is so bad that its a dumpster fire. Don 't eat here, Don't even breathe the air!
11. BARBARA IS RUDE. I have been a long time customer at Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff and I have to say that Barbara should get a medal for being the rudest waitress in town! She spits in our food and wipes her hands over our plates. She gossips alot so don't tell her anything you want to keep quiet. I give Barbara a rating of 1.
12. THE MANAGEMENT. I give the management of Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff a rating of 1. They scowl at the customers and blow cigar smoke in our faces. They never say "Have a nice day!" The management wears dirty shirts and have greasy hair and bad manners. Do not eat here. It's foul!!
13. CRYING BABIES. I give Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff a rating of 1 for the constant crying and screaming of the staffs babies in the kitchen. These poor darlings are allowed to walk around the flaming stoves and crawl on the dirty floor while crying and screaming. There is no consoling these babies. They are all sick. Do not eat here! Do not bring your babies here. Call a social worker.
14. SHUT DOWN SLOPPY JOES TACOS AND STUFF! This diner is so bad that it demands a rating of 1 and if the town was kind they would burn it to the ground. The food is bad, the staff is crude and the place is a filthy mess. The tacos are beyond rotten. Do not eat here. Do not breathe in the air at Sloppy Joe's Taco's and Stuff.
15. THE CUSTOMERS. I give the customers of Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff a rating of 1 because they are all strange and they smell bad. They speak in a strange language from eating all the bad tacos for years. I would not speak to these people because they are poisoned by the tacos and they seem to be brainwashed as well.

Sloppy Joe's Taco's and Stuff reserves the right to wash dishes and wash the floors the day before the Health Officer arrives for an inspection. Is it a good idea to partake of the lunch special at Sloppy Joe's Tacos and Stuff? I would give this diner a rating of 1 because it is a really, really bad place to eat. There are not positives. The customers that frequent the place also are regulars in the local emergency room. They have had their stomachs pumped so many times that they nurses know them all by name. It's a bad, bad place to eat and I would never recommend even walking by the place because the dumpster smells to high heaven. The diner is a disgrace to our community and we petition the town to take a torch to the place for the good of our small town.