A Mom’s Answer to Infuriating Questions

    “But, Mom! Why can’t I have ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on my birthday?” Theresa, my soon-to-be ten year old daughter, wailed.

    “Because I said so!” I exclaimed for the hundredth time.

    “It’s MY day, so it should be MY choice!” Theresa continued. 

    “Theresa, I said no,” I repeated firmly.

    “Awww! That’s not fair, Mom!”

    “Keep complaining and see what happens.”

    “But I…” 

    I interjected by stating, “You won’t get anything special if you stay on this path, Theresa.”

    Theresa displayed her ‘pouty lip’ and ‘evil eye’ although she did not say anything more. 

    As I was about to put up my feet and take a massage, my thirteen year old son named Harry came into my room, talking.

    “Harry, what have I said about entering a room while you’re talking? It’s simply rude and disruptive! You never know if you’re interrupting someone or something!” I reprimanded.

    “Sorry, Mom,” Harry hastily apologized. I doubt he was actually being sincere.

    Nonetheless, he was my child, so I sighed and queried, “What is it, Harry?”

    “Can I watch Star Wars 24/7 over this upcoming summer break?”

    I was stunned! “Of course not, Harry!”

    “Why not?” Harry inquired, hands on his hips.

    “Because I said so,” I stated. That really never seemed to satisfy, but I always used that answer.

    “Mo-om!” Harry whined.

    I raised my eyebrow warningly.

    He was about to leave, but Harry just HAD to stay for one more thing. “Can I watch it 23/7?”

    “Harry!” I shouted. 

    “Okay, okay, I know, Mom!” Harry put his hands up as if he was protecting himself and left my room.

    Just as I relaxed my head and pressed the ‘start’ button on the remote to my massage chair, my four year old, Francis, came skipping in.

    Assuming she had nothing obviously unrealistic to ask, I smiled and asked, “What do you need, Sweetie?”

    “I wanna have a unicorn!” Francis cried.

    My mouth dropped open. Not my little baby too! Ugh! What had gotten into my kids?

    “Francis, unicorns are not real,” I said calmly.

    “No, Mama,” Francis countered, “unicorns ARE real!”

    “Francis, unicorns are NOT real,” I replied, gritting my teeth a little.

    “Why do you say that, Mama?”

    “Just because!” I stormed. 

    I didn’t mean to frighten Francis, and I didn’t anyway. Instead, she just inquired of me, “But why can’t I have a unicorn? Just because they aren’t real shouldn’t mean I can’t have one, so why?”

    “Because I said so!” I was at my wit's end. How much more could I take? That I did not know, so I just said to Francis, “I am sorry for yelling at you. I am just a little upset right now. Can we talk about this later? Tell that to your siblings as well, would you?” 

    Francis did not seem very bothered about me using my ‘big voice’ and simply nodded after she had said, “All right, Mama.”

    Finally, there were no more interruptions, but that didn’t mean I was able to relax.

    First of all, I was so in the moment, that I literally thought I heard an organ playing frustration music!

    I exclaimed aloud to myself, “Am I now hearing things?!”

    From downstairs, I could hear Harry faintly say, “No, Mom, you’re not hearing things! The girls and I are listening to some organ music while we think of what we’re going to ask you for next.”

    I nodded to myself. Oh, okay, that’s good that I’m not hearing things.

    Then suddenly, the reality of what Harry had just told me took its turn to disrupt me. They’re conspiring about what they’re going to ask me for next?! 

    I groaned, stood up out of the massager, and plopped face-down onto the bed.

~ ~ ~

    After a little while, I had an idea. Maybe if I answered these kids without saying ‘because I said so’, then maybe they’d stop asking infuriating questions.

    Yeah, that would work!

    I took a deep breath through my nose and let it out through my mouth, then I went downstairs to where the kids were.

    “What is the question you were going to ask me, Kids?” I asked, smiling to myself.

    “Oh, well, we already know the answer, so we figured we wouldn’t even ask you,” Theresa put in. Harry and Francis both nodded sadly.

    I narrowed my eyes in disbelief. Was this part of their act? “Try me.”

    Harry took over. “Well, we just wondered if we could have a snowball fight.”

    Were my kids insane? Yes, they were DEFINITELY insane. “No.”

    “Why not?” Francis questioned.

    I grinned. Here it comes… “Because.” Haha! I nailed it!

    “Because why?” Theresa asked.

    Orrrrrr not. “Just because.”

    “Because why?” Harry added.

    “Because it’s almost summertime!” It was exceedingly hard not to say the thing I resolved not to say.

    The kids were doing this on purpose for sure! 

    Smirking as if this were a test, Harry opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say ‘because why’, I screeched, “Because I said so!”

    At that, I stormed off. But not before I heard Harry, Theresa, and Francis giggling and the sound of hands slapping together for a high five.

    Okay, I know you are all thinking that I am quick-tempered, but how would YOU put it? Could you do it without saying ‘because I said so’? 

    Fine, maybe that’s a question that only I struggle with, but...you know what? Never mind!

    I just needed to take a break and prepare WELL this time for whatever my kids would ask me next.

    Taking a deep breath—the last angry one, I assure you—I rested my eyes, body, and most of all my brain. 

    Not knowing it, I had fallen asleep! Surely now I would be prepared to, um, not flare up.

    My eyes flickered open to the sound of the garage door opening. My husband, no doubt.

    Oh, well. I figured the kids would greet him and he’d come up to greet me after he’d taken off his shoes, so I just waited.

    Not to my surprise, he did just this.

    “Hey, Honey, I have a question for you,” he told me as he untied his tie. 

    “Hmm?” I asked, a little self-conscious.

    “I think we should start a routine where we have pizza for dinner every day. Wouldn’t that be great?” He chuckled.

    “No!” I blurted, eyes big.

    “Why not?” He gave me a teasing grin. He had obviously talked to—no, conspired with—the kids on his way up.

    Oh, so now he wanted to play that game?

    I whacked him with a pillow and replied, “Because I said so!”