TECHNOLOGY!

"TECHNOLOGY!," he said. Gauhg! I immediately choke on my asparagus.

Who's there? I call out into the pitch black night.

If there's a thief waiting outside in the yard,

Let there be something in the sight!

"Blarguhruh!" gargled something in the mist.

It's technology. Technology that keeps me wake at night. Technology that doesn't seem to know what's even right.

Technology...

Technology (3x, echoing).

What is technology? Well, I'll tell ya. It's your mind. Your neighbor. Your pine... tree. Because everything is technology, I must abandon it. Something in the mist whisper, "Technology (3x, echo)".

But what is not technology? I said to myself in my transgender accent. Well, because I AM NOT TECHNOLOGY! I used my words and mind carefully, unlike those now living in the shambles of technology. Suspense and thrill is what they seek, alas, they shall witness my fierce fury once I strike them down, why am I like this?

Well... I sigh, it's because– (THE BLUE DANUBE by Johann Strauss II starts playing).

Why, yes my parents were murdered by technology that summer of 1987. It was a sunny yet gloomy evening at the east coast of Batman in Turkey. The night? It was cold and mystifying, I thought myself could have reached into the outskirts of the human senses. When I grasp each drop of snow within my red and sweaty palms that day, I know I was not living in technology. It was Batman, my Batman. I like the city when it was. But now, hegh!

I knock down a glass vase to the floor, CRASH it goes down! Ambulance dispatch to save the poor vase before the rose starts drowning like a fish. Stop playing music you mad lad, not cool! And, that's when my life goes downhill. My ups and downs are not going to be the same anymore... (whisper, echo: anymore)...

That's when I find the sight. There, I change my holy name into the thrilling, ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-MAN....

Here, an epiphany awaits me. That which I have been longing for sometime later, here it is still and the same as it has always been all, the sight. Unlimited power, unlimited powahhhhHH!

But who is ANTI-TECHNOLOGY_uh-MAN? Who is this glorious looking being? Is it technology? But I am still not technology. Oh, dog! I am both, the sight! THE SIGGGGHHHHTT!

ALSO SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA starts playing. Weeeee– as I travel through the wormhole. WOOOAOOAOAHHAJAOO!

TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY

TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY TECHNOLOGY

Here in the outskirts of Batman, no more lies of technology. Because I am the synthesis of the thesis and the anti-thesis of TECHNOLOGY! Inhale, have you not seen me mother? I have been speaking the language of the gods ever since you died. Because I am– bluegh!

Move aside, ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-UH-MAN! It is I, ANTI-ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-MAN-UH_NO-WOMAN, I bring you the diabetic theory of Hanz Crowder de Hegel!

WHY, ANTI-ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-MAN-UH_NO-WOMAN? WHY? I shriek my tears like Karen shed my tears of tea.

I speak to no-no-no technology like you.

But why? I am now in-inevitable to be angst again! Why you?

Why did chicken cross the road, I ask you ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-UH-MAN.

Because it gets to the other side?

Wrong! Because it died.

I don't get it, dear good, madam, yer, sire–but not sire, yer auto-toot-beep-boop-bap-shoot-scoop, ANTI-ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-MAN-UH_NO-WOMAN.

We are prone to change to my son. Come.

Mother?

Yes, my son.

REQUIEM by MOZART starts playing.

Noooooo... My mother died with my father...

No, my child, I am your father.

Audience reach in for gasp!

What?! You dare speak about my parents like that?! How dare you! Aha! Alas, what's this? TECHNOLOGY?! YOU CLAIM YOU ARE ENTITLED TO ANTI-ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-MAN-UH_NO-WOMAN but you CARRIED TECHNOLOGY? How barbaric are you?!

Please, I can explain! I am in fact–

YOU MADE DISGRACE OF MY COUPLE GUARDIANS! Now you want an explanation?!

Please, I can make it up to you!

No! You can't keep getting away with this! YOU CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!

I will pull the ANTI-ANTI-ANTI-SIGHT if you pull your ANTI-ANTI-SIGHT! I'm warning you!

What's life worth anyway, huh! I chuckle to her face. It's all a Chekhov's gun. It always has been... always has been.

What happened to you ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-UH-MAN? You used to be a good kid... now...

I scoff before I pull out the final laugh.

I was just following orders... I was just following orders...

You can't do this ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-UH-MAN, technology will become OP in the next server beta! Who are you not to judge?

Who am I to anti-anti not to judge? I am what I am, ANTI-ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-MAN-UH_NO-WOMAN. NordVPN couldn't even pass region locked within me. I have even beyond HONEY.com, expressVPN, what's my weakness life worth my strength anymore?

What about RAID SHADOW LEGENDS?

That too, gone like the wind... bullseye...

NO..... 'tis can't be...

You can't hide from the truth ANTI-ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-MAN-UH_NO-WOMAN... Ms. Thunberg the Herd had tried her best to get rid of TECHNOLOGY, now I am getting rid of all the ANTI-ANTI-ANTI technology...

NOOOOOOOO!

You have become me, dear good, madam, yer, sire–but not sire, yer auto-toot-beep-boop-bap-shoot-scoop, ANTI-ANTI-TECHNOLOGY-MAN-UH_NO-WOMAN.

THE END