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Fiction Funny

Everyone at work called him ‘Junior’, but not to his face, as they knew he didn’t like it, and he did have power in the company. Still he knew what they were saying when they used his name ‘in vain’. He had overheard such talk too many times for his ego to stand it much longer. It got so bad that he actually thought of removing the listening devices he had planted in quite a few of the offices, one Sunday afternoon, when the 14 storey office building was closed.

Sure he was the boss’s son and the founder’s grandson of the biggest company in town: Bosworth Inc. Certainly, he had the same first name, Daniel, as his father had. And yes he got the job because of his father’s position. He definitely hadn’t done anything to earn the executive position that he held so comfortably. His only prior job experience was working part-time for the company while still in high school. And if you watched him even casually you could tell that he did little to earn his well-paying salary.

However, Daniel was still angered by how he was spoken of by those many employees that he heard refer to him, quite negatively, as ‘Junior’. April Fool’s day was coming up. He had spent considerable company time thinking up what he considered a great trick to pull on his detractors.

He would have copies of his prank message sent out to over 200 employees On the first file sent out would be the ‘joke’ message. On the second file would be the statement, in 14 print, “Ha, ha, this is a just a prank. Gotcha.” This was to be sent out ten minutes after the first file. That would give the employees some time to think that the joke was for real, time for them to suffer a bit. Daniel saw it as payback.

On March 31, he gave a copy of the two files on a flash drive to his secretary. He then told her to send the message out to all the staff excepting her. Daniel did not want her to read it before the others. She might just warn people that it was just a prank, not a valid message. This was an unusually large order for her to receive from Junior, who generally did not give her much to do, as he did so very little himself. She often did work for busier, more productive executives. 

Now Junior had a special computer, a laptop that he had the secretary use when he wanted to send out messages to people that he didn’t want to know who the sender was. He told her to use that laptop, which he placed on her desk.

The Mistake

Daniel’s secretary made a mistake. She had just sent the first file, when her phone rang. It was Daniel Bosworth Sr. He had work for her to do, important work for the company. She got right on it, not aware of the fact that she had not yet sent the second file.

So the prank would be taken seriously, with sad and tragic results. You see, the first file contained a very deadly message. It informed the people receiving it that they were to be let go, that is fired from the company because their work was not ‘up to snuff’, a favourite expression of Daniel’s father. He had used it many times when speaking to Junior. At the bottom of the file, it was signed Daniel Bosworth. No Sr. or Jr. was written after the name. Junior wanted the recipients to think that his father had sent the termination notice, not him. They would have to laugh after they found out that it was a prank pulled on them had come from the head man.

Disastrous Results

When the employees of Bosworth Inc started up their computers and checked their e-mails on the morning of April 1, they were hit with shock and surprise by their out of the blue dismissal. Without receiving the second file, the employees receiving the termination notice had no reason to believe that the boss was being anything but serious. 

 Some cried, some yelled in anger and pounded their desks. Then one by one they came to realize that they were not alone in receiving a termination notice. Soon people were getting up, discussing the matter, and checking with their office mates on all floors of the Bosworth Building. ‘What the hell is going on?’ was a common question. Was the company closing down? And why had there been no warning beforehand? Nobody entertained the idea that it might be an April Fool’s Day prank. The people from the sales department told people who asked and some who didn’t that sales were up and not down. There was not reason they could see for a massive group firing.

On the Top Floor

On the top floor, where all the executives, including Daniel Bosworth Senior and Junior, had their plush offices, phones were ringing. Upper management could give no good answers to the questions that were being fired at them. They had no idea that such termination notices had been sent out. Except for Junior, they did not have a clue concerning what was going on.

When Daniel Bosworth Sr. rushed out of his office, looking uncharacteristically dazed and confused, they came to realize that he too had no idea either concerning what was happening. He shouted to everyone on the top floor to tell everyone that called them that there was going to be a company-wide meeting, on the third floor, where the large meeting hall was situated. Soon all four elevators were busy, and the stairways were packed. Everyone had to find out what was going on, and to hear it from the big boss.

The Company Meeting

           As people scurried like frightened mice into the meeting hall, there was a loud buzz of questions, with very few answers. Then the curtain of the stage at the north end of the meeting floor was drawn. The boss appeared, standing in front of a microphone. There was sudden silence that fell on the room like a fog.

           “I want to tell you here and now that no one is being fired. These messages are false. I just realized what day it is. This would appear to be some kind of very cruel April Fool’s Day joke. I have no idea who sent them out, but I can tell you that it was not I.

           It was like everyone in the room let out a huge sigh of relief. Then a hand went up. It was Junior’s secretary. He nodded to her, and she stood up. She cried out, “I know what happened here.” Then she told the boss and the crowd what she had been asked to do the day before by Junior. She then apologized for not sending the second message, which she had discovered announced that this was a joke, a prank, a trick. 

           Daniel Sr. told her that she need not apologize. Then he told her that she should send out one more copy of the first file, and that would be to her immediate boss. Then he said slowly and distinctly, “Junior is fired. If you see him, tell him. He will no longer be working for this company.”

           This announcement was greeted by loud applause and cheers.

           Unseen by anyone, Junior had arrived on the elevator in time to hear what his father had just said. He went back into the elevator as fast as he could, and headed straight for the carpark, and his over-priced vehicle. He had to escape the building and the people who would be only too glad to tell him that he had been fired. What he would do after that was a mystery to him. The joke was on him.

March 28, 2021 15:04

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