Bora Bora....

Today is the big day. After eleven dreadful years of working for a company who thinks of me as a number, not as a human with a beating heart, I'm finally out of this hideous place. No more corporate America. No more absurd weekly meetings. No more bonehead bosses who pit their employees against each other. No more backstabbing from my coworkers. No more being coerced into lying with a big, fat smile on my face. No more jokes I'm suppose to laugh at that aren't funny. No more contracts. No more bull malarkey. I'm FREE to be ME after today! Maybe I'll be me today and tell certain people what I think. I'll start with Mr. Gurdy, the know it all who knows nothing. "Mr. Gurdy, just because you're my boss doesn't give you the right to be a slimy skank. I'm your top salesperson and you treat me like manure. Oh, and by the way, you need to start wearing deodorant." Okay Heidi, you've only got one more day to play this shameful game. Now put on your fake smile and get to your last day of working with all these sinners.

Heidi enters the parking lot of "Walls of America." It should be called "Nitwits of America" laughing out loud before walking into her last day of work. Upon entering, she is immediately greeted by her skank of a boss holding a cake in her honor. "A cake just for me, how thoughtful." The cake looks like something that was leftover from the bakery in the grocery store he had his assistant go pick up. Why did he even bother? After eleven years of being his top salesperson, making him an obscene amount of money and he hands me a cake. An envelope full of Benjamin Franklin bills would have been more appropriate. "Just for you Ms. Sunshine. I'm not even going to dock your pay for being 15 minutes late." What does he mean dock my pay? I work on commission. Now he's a stupid, slimy skank. Okay Heidi, stay cool "Ms. Sunshine." You'll be on your way to paradise in less than 24 hours.

I'm so proud of myself. I've sweated bullets for this company eleven years now. I've saved enough money to start a company that will never have to lie, cheat and steal with a big fat smile. I will treat my employees like gems. A ping pong table for them to play to let off steam. If they ocassionally come in late, they can make up the time at the end of the day. If their child is sick, they can stay home without feeling like they're going to be fired. This will create loyal employees and WE ALL WIN! We'll be selling green products safe for pets, people and the environment. We'll be responsible for making the world a better place. "Ashley's Back to Nature" has a nice ring. Can't think of anything better than naming my new venture after my precious daughter, Ashley. Okay Heidi, stop overthinking. It's "showtime." Only one more day of fake smiles and laughter.

Home at last. Now time for a good meal, couple glasses of wine and Bora Bora, here I come. Two weeks of vacation on a tropical paradise, a small island on the South Pacific island northwest of Tahiti in French Polynesia. I'll be surrounded by white sand and a turquoise lagoon protected by a coral reef. I can't wait to dive into the technicolor waters on this ravishing lagoon. While snorkeling, I'll see an array of fish, turtles, jellyfish, sharks and creatures I've never witnessed in my entire life. So looking forward to hiking on the trails that weave through the forests filled with palm trees. Excited about visiting a volcano for the first time in my life, Mt. Otemanu. After a full day of snorkeling and hiking, I'm going to feast on the finest cuisine while sipping the best of wines. I'll gaze at the clear blue sea for hours.

Heidi is starting to have a little remorse about the vacation on paradise. Maybe I shouldn't have splurged on a luxurious bungalow perched over the water on stilts. They did give me a $99 dollar per day discount if I prepaid six months in advance. That's saving me a total of $1386. Stop worrying, this is the first vacation I've had in over seventeen years. Can't wait to fall asleep to the gentle sound of the sea. Now let's get some much needed sleep. Your vacation in paradise is about to start in a few hours.

Heidi wakes up before the alarm goes off. The long awaited day has arrived. Let's get the chocolate raspberry torte coffee brewing. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go.

Heidi boards the plane. She is directed to sit in a row of three seats, her being seated in the middle. "What happened to the seat by the window to cloud watch and fantasize" she wondered. I should have splurged for a first class ticket, but I spent so much for the bungalow perched over the sea. I had to cut financial corners somewhere. I did save $99 per night for the bungalow, so no need to keep beating myself up with negative thoughts. She sits down in her cramped seat and tries to rest her arms, but the arm rest are stolen by the man on the left smacking on chips, while the lady on the right is snoring. "Are you serious, this is how my tropical vacation is going to start? Okay Heidi, get a grip here. You're headed to tropical paradise, be grateful and stop complaining. How many people get this opportunity?"

Yay hoo, the plane is getting ready to land. Look how beautiful the calm, serene land looks below. Palm trees everywhere. The sea has so many shades of blue. I love flying in a mirage of clouds but now I'm ready to dive into the great blue sea and visit the little turtles and fishes. The sharks better keep their distance. Can't wait to see what my bungalow looks like. Time to hail a cab. Not sure if they have Uber here?

Heidi hails a cab and finally makes it to her destination "Blue Heaven Bungalows." She rushes out of the cab elated to check out where she'll be living for the next two weeks. The smell of the sea is intoxicating and the gentle breeze on her face

makes her feel like she's walking on air.

Upon walking to the front desk, Heidi hears a loud commotion. “What do you mean I have to share a room with a total stranger? I specifically asked for a quiet room, and when I say quiet, that's exactly what I meant, QUIET! Why would you put me in a room with a total stranger the angry man screams? What kind of place is this? I need to speak with a manager right this very moment.” Two staff members escort this disgruntled person into another room so as to not disturb the surrounding people staring at this chaos. "Can't blame the poor man for being livid about having to share a bungalow with a total stranger" Heidi thought. Could be a serial killer or who knows what kind of baggage the stranger may carry?

Heidi glides up to the front counter, “Hello, my name is Heidi Hollander and I'm here to check into to my bungalow. So estatic to be here.” The stressed desk clerk informs her she will be in bungalow 202 as he hands her the flat, plastic door key. "Hope you have a lovely stay here at Blue Heaven Bungalows. Would you like some help with your luggage?" Heidi takes the key, "No thank you, I travel light." She walks with a bounce in her steps, so elated to finally have arrived to her tropical paradise.

As she's about to open the door the to her bungalow on vacation paradise, Heidi hears the sound of a loud bass. Extremely annoying and the hairs on the back of her neck rise. She opens the door. Standing before her is a female with spiked purple and orange hair, strumming the guitar. She looks as if she hasn't slept in days. The smell of stench was nauseating. “Excuse me, I must have been given the wrong room.” Heidi leaves abruptly and marches down to the front desk. "Sir, there is a horrible mistake, someone strange person with spiked purple and orange hair is in my bungalow of 202. I don't care what color hair is but I booked a room for one person. My name is Heidi Hollander. I prepaid for a single room six months ago so I could receive a $99 dollar per day discount." Heidi suddenly remembers the loud commotion with the angry man when she first walked into the Blue Heaven Bungalows. The desk clerk looks down at his computer typing in her name. "Ms. Hollander, it says here you booked a room to share with someone to receive the $99 per night discount." He moves the screen for Heidi to view herself. "I would never book a room to share the first vacation I've had in over seventeen years with a total stranger. What kind of place is this? I need to speak with a manager PLEASE! I will gladly pay the extra $99 per night for a single room."

"I'm so sorry Ms. Hollander, we are booked solid for the next four days with the Bubblegum Dancer convention here in Bora Bora. If you can willingly share the bungalow for the next four nights, we will give you a single room when the convention is over, but you will have to pay the extra $99 per nigh thereafter. Just as we did with you Ms. Hollander, we ran a thorough background check on your roommate so you can feel safe and secure."

Heidi gives the clerk a long, angry glare without saying a word and drags her body back to room 202. She opens the door to see the the spiked purple and orange haired lady sitting on the sofa watching T. "Oh, you're back" the woman yells." Heidi calmly puts down her luggage. "My name is Heidi, if we're going to share a room for the next four days, I hope we can make the best of the situation. Just so you know, I will not be able to tolerate your bass guitar. I came here for peace and quiet."

"Heidi, my name is Gilda. No one is going to order me to stop playing my bass but I may have a possible solution to this uncomfortable situation. I've got an uncle who is staying in the bungalow next door. He recently lost his devoted wife to cancer. If you will agree to going out on a Bora Bora spree with Uncle Dan, I might be able to coerce him into letting me stay with him in his bungalow. You are a fairly nice looking woman and look a lot like his dead wife. All you have to do is just spend some quality time with Uncle Dan and act like you adore him."

Gilda grabs her cell phone. "Let me just take a few pictures of you to show Uncle Dan." Heidi grabs her purse. "I need to put on some lipstick, fix my hair and then you may take photos to show to your Uncle Dan." Heidi prances to the bathroom and makes the necessary upgrade. She puts on a nice shade of burgundy lipstick, sprays some "Soft as Silk" hair fixer upper, changes into a black, lacy dress and glides back into the living room. "I'm ready for the photo shoot." Gilda takes a few pictures from her cell phone while directing Heidi how to look and stand "These photos look even more amazing, considering." What does she mean"considering what" Heidi thinks? "I'll be back in a few minutes with a yes or no Gilda yells. Don't go anywhere Heidi."

“I'm not going anywhere. Just hurry back and make sure you come back with a YES!" Gilda rushes out the bungalow. A few minutes go by and Heidi hears a knock on the door. She looks out the peep hole and sees a man standing shyly. Heidi opens the door and standing before her must be Uncle Dan. He's dressed casually in all white slacks and a shirt showing off his tanned skin. His eyes are a cloud blue. His confidence is waving to her "I'm your prince charming to save the vacation on tropical paradise."

"Hello Mademoiselle, my niece tells me you're looking for someone to show you the town. This is my fifth trip to Bora Bora. I would be more than honored to take your lovely hand and show you the sights of this enchanting paradise. How about I pick you up in an hour, give you some time to freshen up. For starters, I'll take you to the best cuisine you've ever had while we discuss all the lovely sights to see which include scuba diving with the little fishes and turtles. I'll be more than happy to let Gilda stay in my bungalow. How does that sound?"

Well Heidi thinks to herself, "let's get this vacation on tropical paradise started now!"