Split Ends

A muffled groan escaped from Harry’s mouth as he rolled out of bed. His long gown of fur now tangled in knots creating a ragged and unkempt appearance. “what harm” he thought as he caught a glimpse of his face in a window pane. The sun beamed through a stained-glass window of the town house he resided in, warming his back with a rainbow of light he lapped up his breakfast out of a rusty bowl. Harry stayed in this spot for awhile soaking up the heat like a sponge, all the other windows were covered with black out blinds but this one was allowed to do its job. Eventually he shuffled his way back up the stairs and into the cool air of the rest of the house, setting himself down in front of a mirror that stood on the floor. After a few seconds Harry finally gazed into the mirror and with the discomfort of a being exhaling its last breath, he released a sigh and starred at the animal looking back at him. “When one thinks of the word “animal”” he mused “you receive a deluge of contrasting images. The giraffe looks nothing like an elephant nor does a kangaroo bare any closer resemblance to that of a fox, and yet despite knowing that animals of the world come in all shapes and sizes, when people set their eyes upon me, a visceral disgust can seep into their mind, and seep it does, because despite greatest intentions and finely reared manners the human brain struggles to digest a sight that doesn’t conform to worldly standards. A disfigured man may garner sympathy, but underneath the compassionate vale rings a note of discord in the beholder’s eyes. This offence to visual harmony isn’t voluntary and most would do without if given the choice, but it is deeply ingrained in the human brain to feel a slight revulsion when someone doesn’t resemble the common form.”

Harry stood as tall as any door frame in his town house and possessed eyes as brown as oak. His muscular frame sat upon his bones with great strength and poise. It would seem he held all the physical qualities of a desirable male counterpart, but inexplicably he was covered in a deep knotted forest of brown hair. By all medical accounts Harry was a human male but to his mothers dismay her child was born with this eternal coat. Not only did this fur hide the man underneath but due to the ridicule and torment Harry would receive at the hands of his fellow man, the fur came to hide the person as well.

“Best hurry, don’t want to miss the early viewing and be in with a crowd” he muttered to himself as he donned his longest waistcoat. The wooden floor cracked underneath the strain of his large black boots, and covered head to toe in as much clothing as possible Harry drew in a deep breath and opened his front door, allowing the outside world to see him.

Harry glanced at his watch, stooping his head and pulling his eyebrows up to see over his sun glasses. Ten minutes until the cinema opened, at which point he would be landing at the ticket office door just as the clerk was opening up the desk. Harry knew from an early age to avoid the main streets, quickly becoming adept at moving through the alley ways of the only town he’s ever known. Dressed to cover as much of his embarrassment as possible Harry allowed the darkness of the ally ways to hide the rest, quickly darting to and from passages whenever affronted by a curious group of passer byes he often felt as though his life was spent running from people.

The Lighthouse Cinema stood on the edge of town, the last remnant of a once bustling retail hub. Its stature was impressive, a semi-circle structure with a mock lighthouse light resting upon its roof illuminating at night time. “Perhaps its to scare people away like ships in the night” Harry would think to himself, knowing full well the only thing scaring people away was himself. Harry emerged from the darkness of the ally adjacent to the cinema with the most prideful step he would take all day. He allowed himself to extend his hand from the safety of his jacket and caress the fire red brick wall of his favourite building in town, in the whole world as far as he was concerned. It should be no secret why Harry loved going to the cinema, not only did the darkness allow him to forget the perils of his outcast existence but cinema provided an opportunity for escapism. Here he could be Vincent Vega dancing his way into Mia Wallace’s’ heart, or perhaps he is Will Hunting, displaying the full power of his intellect to garner the affections of the ever-adorable Skylar. Notably however, his favorite movies were Sci-fi. Fantasy allowed full absolution of reality. For 90 minutes each Monday when the Lighthouse Cinema would play sci fi re runs Harry would find his only happy place.

This morning he was delighted to find that Star Wars was the viewing, he eagerly swiped the ticket from the office clerk who by now was used to Harry's peculiar behavior.  “Bye Hairy”. Despite his matted Armour of fur he hadn’t developed thick skin and this comment rendered him motionless. “Shut up you stub chub” he whispered. “Bye Harry!” the clerk repeated, this time determined that she be heard, surprising even herself with the forcefulness of her tone. It was too late, quickly he moved through the double doors and allowed the darkness to swallow him whole.

 “If eyes are windows to the soul, then what hope have I of being seen when my curtains are forever drawn?” Harry exclaimed to himself as he brushed the hair away from his eyes. “But why would I want to be seen? I’m a freak! Perhaps these furry drapes prevent me from seeing the disgusted looks, the horrified faces and the children….the children are the worst, no remorse no sense of empathy for the harm they cause, just a sardonic giggle from the parent at their spawns social faux pas. “No amount of hair can block sound”.He replayed the incident with the ticket clerk in his head. “Perhaps I should give the people what they want and become an animal, tear the children limb from limb as their parents beg me for mercy” A few moments passed, and a wave of guilt crashed over him, his late mother’s memory comforting him for his momentary lapse into madness. The appearance of Chewbacca on the big screen immediately pulled Harry from whatever desperate place he was heading and quietly as possible he mimicked the movie, “arghhhhhhh”, never missing the opportunity to repeat his favourite movie characters lines in a manner resembling mild echolalia.

During this mix of childlike amusement and vengeful thoughts, he hardly noticed the woman sitting 4 rows in front. Or at least it appeared to be a woman, “hard to tell in this light and the sun hat doesn’t help matters” he noted. She held herself mostly upright but carrying a slight hunch so as to not draw too much attention. Harry quickly became fixated on the way she was sitting, almost as if he was looking through a time warp and could lay eyes on the back of himself. He peered through the darkness now mesmerized at this woman, a sense of familiarity came creeping in as he strained to get a better look at the back of her. “ Arrrrgh!”, Harrys attention was quickly snapped back to the movie as Chewbacca gave another near perfect deliver of his lines.

The credits rolled, and Harry placed back on his glasses and hat now entirely forgetting about the only other person in the room. “Leave before the lights come on” he said to himself as he got up. Just then the women who for a brief moment earlier held all of Harry's attention stood up and with surprising grace glided through the isle of seats and headed for the emergency exit near the screen. It had never occurred to Harry to exit through those doors, they open up into the car park behind the cinema and if you continue walking straight you will find yourself on a trail walk heading into the woods that surround this edge of town. Slightly embarrassed that this illusive method of leaving the cinema never crossed his mind before Harry felt a sense of gratitude to this woman. Suddenly the light from the outside world came crashing into the room, the women had pressed the door and just as she moved from darkness into light Harry was awestruck, a feeling he had never felt before oozed through he veins, a sense of wonderment mixed with a curiosity unknown to man prior and possibly ever again took over him. As the light illuminated the room it also did so the woman’s face, and for a brief second before she passed through the door, Harry saw the unmistakable sight of long brown hair covering her entire body and what he now felt, was the most beautiful face he had ever laid eyes upon.

The following minutes became a blur as Harry attempted to process what he had just witnessed. “Mother said I was the only one, how can there be another? And in the same town!”. It was minutes before he came to and realised he was standing in the middle of the lobby, the plush red carpet softly supporting a man whose world was changing forever. “I must find her! But how?!”. Harry had hardly noticed the ticket clerk appear in front of him, and had she not enounced herself he might have looked straight through her. “Can I help?” she said with a slightly nervous smile. Harry was dumbstruck for the second time in less than five minutes. He attempted to respond, even just a simple hello but he was to shy and instead he brushed past the clerk and headed straight for the door. “You saw her, didn’t you? The woman who….looks like you” the clerk was nervous about approaching the topic but her kind hearted tone disarmed something in Harry and he turned around. “ Who?..where is she?” the words stumbled out of his mouth and were just loud enough for the clerk to hear. “I don’t know who she is, but she comes here the odd time, I just thought you two knew each other” Harry was initially tempted to leave again but his curiosity got the better of him and he maintained eye contact with the women. “I know who you are, well not exactly, but everyone in this town knows Hairy Harry” the clerk quickly became wide eyed and blushed at her slip but she pressed on. “You should find her, I heard that she lives in the woods behind this place. Id imagine if you follow the trail you will come across the cabin. Harry stood still while the clerk said her piece. Finally, he mustered up the courage to get another word out. “why?” he exclaimed. “Why not?” the clerk responded quickly “you can’t spend your life hiding in darkrooms pretending to be Chewbacca. I see you in here every week and each time I say “Hi Harry” you ignore me. You can’t ignore life and you shouldn’t let the small-minded folk in this town keep you down. I’m not afraid of you….and neither will she be”

Harry stood still letting the words wash over him. He had just experienced more social interaction in the last 5 minutes then he had since his mother passed 5 years ago. His father left when he was born, “probably scared him off like I do everyone else” he would say to himself, “but not this women and maybe…..maybe this women will talk to me too. She must! We have some much in common” Harry allowed himself to get carried away by these unusually positive thoughts. Just as his new-found joy was reaching a crescendo the clerk dipped her head into his line of sight. “Thank you, thank you for everything he said” Harry pivoted on the spot twirling his coat behind him like a ballerina in the process. He set off towards the back door, opened it up and for once embraced the sunlight. “Just be careful” the clerk shouted, “the woods are big and it’s the height of summer!” but it was too late. He was gone.

 Harry had been trudging through the woods for what seemed like hours at this point. The hot summer sun was at its highest point in the sky and he had been feeling the heat for awhile now. “How much longer can I walk blindly in this heat!? This was a mistake I should turn around. How can you turn around! How can you be so cowardly” These thoughts played in his head as he walked for another hour until he finally decided to rest beside a large oak tree. The trunk of the tree had a gaping hole as though someone carved out the inside. It was hard to tell if he was thinking straight or perhaps the sun had gotten to him, but Harry removed his heavy boots and raincoat and placed them in the hole of the tree. “Il pick them up on the way back” he thought “but I’m so exposed, no ones around though, and its not as if she, whoever she is, will be too shocked”. It was at this point that Harry started to feel something he heard people refer to as “confidence”, his strides became longer and his shoulders taller. He pondered what he would say to this woman when he finally found her. His mind found its way back to the only other women in his life, his mother. A smile appeared on his face as he thought of her. The green foliage on either side of the trail appeared more vibrant and the tall oak trees looked magnificent. But suddenly something crossed his mind and it was as though someone dimmed the forest lights. “Don’t go into the woods Harry, promise me” These words were spoken to him by his mother when he was just a boy. Harry recalled promising but not the reason why. He stood still for a minute trying to decipher the reasoning behind the promise when suddenly a loud bang rang out through the trees. Harry felt the hair on his head turn in the wind. “but what wind?” flashed across his mind. The air has been still all day. A loud cry followed, “bear! Draw and shoot!”…Harry now knew full well why his mother warned him against entering the woods. “Hunters”.

“There he is, he’s moving through the tree line!” shouted one of the hunters as Harry attempted to use the dense forest floor as cover. His adrenaline was now pumping through his veins, each shot rang through the woods, the noise ricocheting off each tree, it soon became hard to tell how many men were chasing him. Surrounded by what felt like an army and deafened by a cacophony of noise Harry knew he wouldn’t make it far. He burst through some foliage landing in a clearing and to his astonishment there it was, right in front of him, the cabin. Harry stood still for a moment before he heard the bark of the hunter’s dogs just behind him. He ran up to the house and up the wooden steps to the front door, he reached out his hand to turn the handle, but he fell to his knees missing the door. Unsure what happened he placed his hands on his back and felt a warm liquid, it suddenly became apparent. He had been shot. Harry reached his arm up to the door and placed it on the handle and to his surprise the door opened with no effort on his part, but out came a woman. It was the women Harry had seen in the cinema, long brown hair from head to toe just like himself but she, she was beautiful. Everything about her was different, her brown eyes gleaned with life, her lips pressed together with infectious energy and her stance, she was proud. She let out an all mighty roar and brought the forest to a standstill. The hunters and their dogs stood now 10 feet away unsure of what they saw. “Bear or not, they are beasts!” one yelled. “Meat for two winters “muttered another. “well what are ye waiting for, then!” shouted another lifting the rifle up to his eye and pointing it at the women. Harry had turned over and was facing the men and for the first time in his life, despite being surrounded by 5 men touting guns, he wasn’t afraid. He bellowed from the top of his lungs and charged the hunters scattering them into the woods.

He was light headed now and returning up the steps he collapsed on the wooden porch. “oh no, please”, the woman was shaking. The confidence she had previously displayed was seemingly for show. She noted he was losing lots of blood and fast. Cradling him in her arms she stroked his handsome face. “what a fine coat of fur you have” she caringly said to him. In this moment Harry knew what it meant to feel. He felt all of life’s emotions at once joy, happiness, anger, sadness, fear. He gazed up into her eyes and with his last breath he calmly said, “I’ve never felt more alive”.