The Crazy Courier

The hover bike jumped a hill as the courier giggled in joy. She shot far into the air before settling back just over the dusty lands, plumes of dust plummeting around her. 

The dust was heavy in the air, the lands scorched by the weapons of a long-forgotten war. Survival in the wasteland was a harsh and difficult existence for most.

She looked behind her at the rest of the expedition struggling to catch up: A water tanker, and a squad of the Baron’s house troops stumbled forward armed with blaster rifles.

“Hurry up guys! The digsite needs that water!” She called back at the group, her long dark cat’s tail flicked as she watched the group draw closer.

“Why is she in charge, Lenzar?” One of the full human house troopers grumbled. 

“She’s ‘in charge’ in name only, Yato,” the other trooper replied, his foxtail swishing behind him, his helmet covering his fox ears. “Even if she is the Baron’s best courier. Just deal with her antics for now.”

“She had to be knocked out for the flight down to the surface,” Yato countered. “Now she’s flying around the dunes.”

Lenzar shrugged. “I suspect she has a phobia regarding aircraft.” 

“She’s crazier than a bitte bird, she is.” 

A new voice joined the conversation, this time from the driver of the water tank. The driver had horse ears and a tail, and dark skin. 

“She was lucky to be unconscious during that flight. I thought we were going to die with those rogue drones.” 

“Pshh, that was nothing,” Yato countered. 

“Then why were you screaming?” Lenzar asked.

Yato scowled. “I wasn’t screaming, I was making my warface.” 

“You guys are so slow!” the courier - who was known as Kashikoi - called back.

Kashikoi made quite the contrast to the bleak wasteland. Her hair was dyed purple, fading to turquoise: even the fur of the neko’s feline ears were dyed above the black scarf tied around her forehead. She wore a leather jacket and a red tee shirt with a dark heart design, wearing skinny jeans and boots, barely showing her gray skin. Despite her carefree antics and goofy expression, the courier had a blaster strapped to her leg.  

After a few moments, the group was finally all together. 

“Miss Kashikoi,” Lenzar grunted, “I must insist you stay with the rest of us.” 

Kashikoi made a pouty face. “Aww, I was just scouting ahead. Don’t want to get ambushed by raiders.”

“That looked like joyriding to me,” Yato growled.

Kashikoi winked and smiled a fang-y smile. “It was both. What are you scared of the baron finding out?”

“What doesn’t he find out?” Lenzar grumbled.

“Get out of the city more often - he’s not omnipresent. Just a plump man with a lot of power,” Kashi replied. 

High above the expedition, the bridges of light shimmered and the twinkle of the distant city states on the artificial islands. 

It was a simple mission: bringing mail, water, and supplies to the dig team on the surface. The Baron of Aeros - the citystate the party hailed from - was like most rulers: interested in artifacts left from the ancients to further increase his power and influence. 

Kashikoi blinked her feline eyes at the distant bridges, it was hard to believe she lived up there now. 

She turned back to the expedition and beamed. 

“Alright, I’ll stay close by. I don’t want any mail falling out of my saddlebags anyway,” Kashikoi giggled as she checked her pocketwatch that was always frozen at 12. “We better get moving though, time is precious!”

The group pressed on. The sand was less deep on the ridge, letting the group exert less energy. 

“Wonder if the digsite has found anything interesting?” One of the other housetroopers grumbled.

“I hope not. Last time they found something it was a mechanical squid thing that attacked me…. With tentacles!” Kashi replied. “I hate tentacles. Even if they’re metal.”    

The trooper sighed as he had to listen to her more. She hadn’t dismounted her hover bike once the whole trip, and the troopers were eyeing her and the water tank driver enviously. 

As they crested a dune Kashi suddenly pulled up short and dismounted. 

“What?” One of the troopers asked as she lay prone. 

“I thought I saw something.” 

Just then a bolt of plasma flew past the trooper and hit the ground, leaving a scorch mark. 

“Raiders!” Lenzar called out. 

The driver leapt from his vehicle and promptly hid underneath it. More plasma bolts were landing among the party as well as shards of crystals from the raider’s shard guns. Not particularly accurate weapons, but deadly. 

The troopers returned fire with their rifles as Kashi drew her pistol, a touch on the side and it morphed into a carbine. 

“Those meanies!” Kashi shouted. 

“They want the water!” Yato proclaimed.

“Oh, that’s a relief. I thought they wanted my chocolate bar in my pocket!” Kashi yelled back.

There were wild whoops and shouts and the roar of engines, peering over the party could see  the raiders moving towards them in their cobbled together vehicles. 

Kashikoi and the troopers opened fire, soon being rewarded with seeing two vehicles drift out of control, along with a few figures riding atop some of the others drop to the sand below - But the raiders returned fire with shard guns and blasters. 

“If those idiots hit the water tank, we’re in trouble,” Lenzar grunted. 

“I have an idea!” Kashikoi exclaimed. 

“Oh, great,” Yato grumbled. 

One of the soldiers went down from a lucky shot, he fell against the charred ground in a heap.

“Blast!” Lenzar grunted. “You’d better have a good idea!” 

“Oh it’s the bestest plan ever!” Kashikoi replied. 

Yato and Lenzar shared a look. 

“It’s been an honor serving with you, Lenzar,” Yato sighed as Kashikoi had grabbed the spherical shaped grenades from the dead trooper. 

“I need all the grenades!” Kashi instructed as she dug a hole.

“This is nuts!” Yato whined as he nevertheless handed over his little explosive devices. 

Kashi continued with her little trap. “Hey, driver! You still alive?”

“Yeah!” The man called.    

“Good. Play dead and don’t come out. You guys too, stop shooting and play dead.” 

Suddenly it clicked. The troopers stopped firing and threw themselves on the ground away from Kashi’s trap.  

Kashi saved the last grenade as she finished burying the explosives, the roar of the vehicles was almost upon them, the raider’s still firing wildly. Kashi laid prone on her stomach and waited as the raiders’ huge vehicles pulled up nearby. 

The raiders paused and dismounted their vehicles, looking around in confusion. 

“I think we got em all!” A wolf-eared man called out to his comrades. 

There were shouts of victory as the wastelanders moved in, eager to loot whatever they could find. 

Kashi blinked, they really weren’t very smart. 

Counting down the seconds, the neko primed her device as the raiders drew closer to her trap. When they were right upon the pile of grenades Kashikoi made her throw. 

“Nyah!” She grunted as she threw the grenade. 

The sphere hit the ground. The raiders only had time to look down in shock before it blew and in turn set off the explosives beneath it. The ground shook and dust filled the air at the detonation. 

Kashi and the troopers began to fire into the dust at anything that moved. A few shard guns returned fire but after a few seconds, all was quiet. Kashi moved in closer as the dust settled. 

The raiders were strewn across the ground, their limbs all akimbo. There were a few weak groans, but it was a scene of dust and blood. All seemed to be dead, but one seemed to have taken a leaf from their book. As Kashi drew closer, a large man with bear ears stood up and lunged for her with a large knife. 

“Yikes!” Kashi exclaimed as she caught the larger man’s wrist and stepped in with a foot stomp to his foot. 

The man howled in pain as his tendons popped and the blade fell. He slugged Kashi with his free hand and sent the neko sprawling. 

The raider went to pick his knife up when Lenzar blasted him. 

“You okay courier?” Lenzar asked, his uniform spattered with blood and mud - his fox ears folded against his head. 

Kashi was crying. “No.” 

Fearing she was wounded the trooper drew closer. “What’s wrong?”

“My chocolate bar melted!” 

Lenzar pinched the bridge of his nose. “You really are crazy!” 

Kashi picked herself up and dusted herself off. “Do you know how much of a commodity chocolate is?” 

Lenzar shook his head. “Let’s just move out already.” 

The group resumed their journey passing by the crude huts of the wastelanders. Kashi flicked her tail and sighed as she looked upon one dwelling. Once she had lived in such a place, just her and her father. 

Those were simple days, till her home was destroyed by a falling aircraft. She’d lost everything but had gained a new life, high in the sky. She didn’t like dwelling on the past so Kashi forced herself to smile again, doing what she always did: hiding her pain behind a facade of carefreeness. 

Finally the party reached its destination. A very cross woman with rabbit ears and graying brown hair greeted them. 

“About time you arrived!”

“Mail!” Kashi said, shoving a ton of parcels into the scientist's arms.

“We brought food, water, and mail,” Lenzar stated. 

“So I see. But no technicians! Again! How am I supposed to extract ancient tech? I need more than diggers and people that shoot things.”

“Not my problem,” Lenzar replied. “Take it up with the baron.”

The trooper already didn’t like the scientist and was looking forward to getting back, just as another group of house troopers moved over. 

“Ah, good, our relief is here.” 

“What?’ Lenzar questioned. 

The scientist held up one of the letters marked with the baron’s seal. Official orders. 

“You’re stuck with me for a few months.” 

Lenzar cursed up a storm. 

Kashi flicked her tail at the situation, as she prepared to leave, Yato approached her hesitantly. 

“Hey, Kashi… I now know why you’re the best courier. Even if you are nuts.”

Kashikoi smiled. “Aww, it’s because I’m so awesome. Don’t get shot down here!”

“I’ll do my best,” Yato replied.

“No: ‘Bestest.’” Kashi corrected.