How did we end up in this mess?

Submitted into Contest #41 in response to: Write about an animal who causes a huge problem.... view prompt

20 comments

Funny Kids

I wiped the accusing froth of spilt, chocolate brown deep shade of coffee leaked drastically off the marble tiled floor. Mum sighed and glared at me. "Savannah, you're not going to Grandma's house until you're done." she lectured me, her slender, knobbly hands planted over the ends of her hip.


I rolled my eyes dramatically. "Remind me again. Why are we going there?"


Mum clicked her tongue, sighing in total exasperation and frustration. "Oh god Savannah. When Aunt Kenzie says it's a secret, its a secret. She wants you to find out when you get there."


I grinned. "I'm going over there then. Let's get rolling." I smiled, rubbing my hands together gleefully.


"Beats me Savannah, you're not getting anywhere until you clean this mess." Mum smiled and went over to get the car engine started. She brought my youngest sister, Stacy into the car.


I swiped the froth off in a cleanse of cloth and ran over up to my room to get changed. I just couldn't wait for the secret.


~~~

My youngest sister Stacy, me and mum hopped off the car and into Grandma's ancient-looking house. The front porch looked uncleaned and ghastly bird droppings filled the windows. Stacy gasped and clutched my hand like she was holding onto a cliff for dear life. "Look! Isn't - isn't that a cage?" she cried excitedly. I spun around excitedly to find a small black, crisscrossed cage with a small mat hanging amiably over it. A large pink pawprint was planted on the entrance of the cage and a few squeaky toys were lying untouched, chewed or either bitten.


"Oh my god." Mum muttered, "We're not having a puppy in this worsened state of Grandma's house."


Aunt Kenzie appeared at the gate almost as soon as we clung the nearly deafening doorbell. And Stacy and Mum were totally right


Aunt Kenzie clutched a large neon orange rope which led to a furry black and white dog with large strawberry pink ears and deep black, gleaming eyes. The dog was only half the size of Stacy.


Mum screamed. "Kenzie! There's no way you have a dog!" she cried.

Aunt Kenzie sighed. "No, Sarah, it's different. I saved it from dying. I need to keep this cutie. Look, she won't do any harm. I'll take care of her. I clean her mess and everything." she sighed.


Mum slowly calmed down after about forty minutes. She squealed in a high-pitched tone if the dog went even close to nine inches from her. Grandma and Grandpa were still at work, and somehow they knew about the dog.


"Do you have a name in mind?" I asked Aunt Kenzie eagerly.


Aunt Kenzie smiled. "I'm planning to call her Panda."

I was taken aback. "Um, did I hear Panda?"


Aunt Kenzie nodded and cuddled her new pet. "Yeah, she reminds me of one with her black and white fur."


"Hey Panda." Stacie soothed, stroking Panda's fur tenderly.


Mum sitting a mile away asked nervously. "Kenzie, what brand did you get?"


I giggled. "It's a breed Mum." I corrected.


Aunt Kenzie sighed. "It's best not to tell you, Sarah. You'd freak out if I did. And besides, I'm already attached to this puppy. I can't leave her."


Mum sighed and glared waspishly at her sister. "I need to know."


Aunt Kenzie picked up Panda and nuzzled against her fur. "She's a Pitbull breed."


Mum screamed and locked herself into the house. "Kenzie! Her type is the dangerous breed. Did you know that a Pitbull dog killed a baby in South Africa?" she yelled, shoving us away from Panda.


Aunt Kenzie inhaled deeply. "I know, I know. But, I couldn't leave her to die alone in the streets. I don't do that Sarah. I have to keep her."


Mum shook her head firmly.



~~~

After hours of persuading, I guess Mum finally gave in. And yes, Aunt Kenzie did take Panda for walks. Sometimes she would bring Panda over to our house, but Mum wouldn't be around (of course).


"Aunt Kenzie's coming around today, so clean the house a little before she comes."


"Panda too?" Stacie asked brightly.


Mum sighed. "Yes. The dog's coming too."


Panda sure was a wild dog. If you run, she would chase you and if you gave her treats, she would snatch them and gobble them in a millisecond. She was pretty exciting, yes. But nobody else wasn't allowed to see her. If the truth of her breed came out, Panda would be shot and we would have to pay a heavy fine. You see, Panda's breed type was illegal in our country.


Panda came around in her bright red leash and her usual collar. We fussed around her, but we always kept the door closed. The one thing that nobody knew about Panda was that she was very very quick and fast.


The big problem was that we couldn't let Panda out, because our neighbour right next door to us was a veterinarian and he would recognize Panda at once. We shaded the curtains and locked the windows and doors.


But there came a point, where everyone was busy munching waffles for breakfast and nobody noticed Panda slip through the gap through our window.


Aunt Kenzie gasped. "Oh my god! Oh my god! WHERE is Panda?"


We hurried out hastily and pulled on shoes and sneakers. Aunt Kenzie grabbed Panda's leash.


"Goodness me! Is this a Pitbull I see?"


We spun around to find our neighbours glaring at Panda with the utmost anger written all over their face.


Aunt Kenzie bit her lip. "Oh, I'm so sorry Arnold. It's my dog."


Mr Malory, the neighbour glared at all of us. "I'm going to have to report her in court."


Mum gasped. "Oh no, please Mr Malory, she didn't do any harm!"


Aunt Kenzie stepped nervously in front. "My bad. It was my fault for adopting this pup over here. But tell me, Mr Malory, would you leave a puppy to die on the road?"


Mr Malory snorted. "I don't believe in this sort of nonsense. If you think that saying this will spark me to change my mind, it won't. Goodday, and I will see you in court, perhaps."


Oh, great. How did we end up in this mess?



May 10, 2020 08:33

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20 comments

Praveen Jagwani
03:42 Jun 20, 2020

Niveeidha, It is evident that you a talented writer :) This is a good story. You capture the details well and carry the reader along. At some places, I thought you are trying too hard, to describe, which rattles the flow of the story. The best stories create impact, using simple words. So don't be afraid to keep it simple. In that spirit, I found the words Soothed, Clung a bit heavy. Also, the opening sentence probably needs to be simplified. Good luck and keep on writing :)

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Niveeidha Palani
11:55 Jun 20, 2020

Thank you very much Praveen, feedback is very much appreciated and welcome and I will take in all your feedback, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story!

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Kathleen March
23:37 May 27, 2020

And of course pitbulls are not naturally mean.

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Niveeidha Palani
02:07 May 28, 2020

Of course. 😉

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A. Y. R
20:41 May 17, 2020

I really love your descriptive style of writing! Makes your scenes so vivid!

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Niveeidha Palani
22:34 May 17, 2020

Thank you so much :)

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Roshna Rusiniya
15:23 May 15, 2020

This was a cute read Niveeidha!

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Niveeidha Palani
02:23 May 16, 2020

Thank you Roshna! Means a lot to me :)

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Anu Malar
16:17 May 10, 2020

I really would love to read the continuation of this story!😉

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Niveeidha Palani
02:23 May 16, 2020

Haha,😉, The next time I'll write a story with a proper ending :)

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Pragya Rathore
17:32 Aug 27, 2020

Wonderfully written, as usual, Niveeidha! You seem to be an animal lover. This story gave me Ruskin Bond vibes. And yes, I just noticed, so thank you very much for including me in your bio! :) :)

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Niveeidha Palani
21:55 Aug 27, 2020

Thank you so much Pragya, no problem! :) :)

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Murali Narkunam
13:44 Jun 20, 2020

Interesting write up! Keep it up!

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Niveeidha Palani
02:03 Jun 21, 2020

Thank you!

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Red Herring
19:47 Jul 22, 2020

Oh no! I have a little pocket Pitt and I love her dearly. She's black and white too, so I very much want to see what happens. Is this true about South Africa? I love how much attention you're paying to using demonstrative vocabulary. A few are a little off the mark, but I get the sense of what you're going for. Something that helped me when I was using a word I might not typically say is reading in the thesaurus/dictionary not just the definition but also the example sentence because it gives context/connotation. I love the first sentenc...

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Niveeidha Palani
07:02 Jul 23, 2020

Hi Nadiya, thank you so much for taking the time to leave in such lengthy feedback! It's much appreciated! Haha, this story doesn't exactly take place in South Africa as it happens worldwide. :)

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Red Herring
19:47 Jul 22, 2020

Also, I love the title!

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Hallie A.
17:54 Jul 10, 2020

This is a great book but did panda die?

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Niveeidha Palani
22:43 Jul 10, 2020

Nope, I ended it with a cliffhanger, I didn't really want a sequel for this story...thought it was best if I ended it slowly...thanks for taking the time to read this story, Hallie!

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Sadia Faisal
10:59 May 27, 2020

i have followed you please follow me too

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