Breaking free

“Why are you here? Couldn’t you send her with your mother instead? This is a women affair. How are you going to handle screams and that labor ward with nude women?” asked one hefty nurse.

I had gone to the nurse station looking for someone who could assist my wife of ten months deeply trapped in labor, screaming, and scaring me stiff. 

“No. I can handle it. Not everybody has a mother. Don’t you have male nurses here?” I asked with a voice that was tucked between sadness and rage. All of them turned to look at me including those who were eating, sitting conversationally at a corner away from the rest. Another small-bodied nurse who looked like an ageless parrot screamed from behind.

“Success is yours, my brother! You are brave but unlike you, the male nurses are trained for such an environment while you aren’t. Your type succumbs to everlasting traumas after such an experience. I am just warning you…,” a roar of laughter ensured before another group of five arrived probably sent here by the guffaw.

“Did she attend her prenatal clinic with us”, the hefty one whom I had addressed first asked.

“I must go and ask her then”, I said and left but before I could turn, the Parrot screamed.

“I am not sure she will comprehend what you are going to ask her. Women in that state do not answer questions.”

My mother must have foreseen this during our last visit to her, a month before the birth of our firstborn.

“I should come to help Margaret in the city because she is on her last trimester. You never know. Anything can happen. Such young inexperienced mothers get babies unexpectedly.”

“I will handle it myself mother. The old days when women relied on midwives are long gone. That’s why clinics dot every corner of the city”, I said mother looking at me forlornly while I stuck to my guns. I wanted the two women in my life to live in harmony and the only way to do it was to limit their interaction. Mother in law was and is always a household name associated with cruelty, sadism, and hatred. I wanted to not be in trouble like the grass and the elephants.

“Unless you have money to a private hospital, she will have trouble elsewhere. Do those nurses in public hospitals care? They leave mothers to give birth unattended as they gossip over a cup of tea in the nurse stations. There is no order there. You might be lucky to find one or two professionals but all the other desperados are cruel.” 

“Mother, those days are gone. People are civilized. Margaret will be ok”, I said as my mother’s lips curled and tightened as she gave a loud mournful sigh. 

 I left the nurses at their station laughing at me, my mother’s words echoing and regrets hitting me as I disparately took a turn to the labor ward hoping that the ageless Parrot was wrong.

Upon entering, women were screaming; some rolling on their beds in agony while others talked to themselves, pulling their hairs as if uprooting it from their scalps would bring a respite. It was a madhouse.

 I approached Margaret to enquire about her prenatal clinic history but she met me with horror. She screamed and jumped out of her bed, charging towards me with bloodshot eyes.

“You dog! You monster! You don’t deserve this. You pulled me out of my dreams; from school to be your slave and now see what you are doing to me”, she said, pointing at her protruding tummy that moved downwards as she picked a medical instrument from a nearby table. I froze with fear and my tongue felt dry instantly. Facing me like a killer swinging her hand violently, she threw it forcefully at me. I dodged it, missing my eye by an inch before settling on a wall which it violently struck forming a dent before breaking into two pieces.

Amazed and still chilled by the damage the wall had suffered, I touched my eye to be sure that it was intact. Satisfied, I turned towards her but she was on the floor with her gown piled on her chest leaving her bare all the way down with her legs far apart. This brought my childhood memories when I used to watch cows giving birth to calves while all the village men turned midwives at ago. It was fun watching those cows writhing and mooing in pain. A hazy thought about a cow that died giving birth as we watched made me dizzy.

“Call a nurse you silly old bastard. You slow thinker!” she made a horrifying scream. Like a drunkard, I leaned on a table near the woman who was talking to herself. Blurry figures enveloped me. I must have passed out for some time for when I came to my head was lying on a cold wet floor. I thought somebody must have poured some water trying to resuscitate me. The woman, who had been talking to herself earlier on, had now taken her turn screaming her lungs out and breathing hard like a yoga master.

“I wonder where her husband is”, I thought loudly, never intending to be heard but she did.

“You Jughead thinks that everybody is supposed to be subordinated by a mean narcissist soul of a cold chauvinist? I am not one of them! I would rather be on my own!” she shouted forcing me to vacate the room in a huff, her haulage following, sending me to speed away down the corridor.

“Gosh! If she hates men that much, how did she conceive?” I wondered. Knowing how lucky the man who had fathered her baby had been, my face brightened as if he was a close friend. I quickly moved with long strides from one ward to another looking for Margaret and the baby. I had already passed when I saw her through the window sitting on a bed holding the baby. I quickly retraced my steps and entered the ward, her smile excitedly welcoming me.

 “Maiko, pick our son. He has your nose and forehead but the lips are mine”, she said this sweetly but still, I was skeptical. I could still pick a trace of lunacy in her talk. I held the baby and sat on a chair that was close by, but at a safe distance, enough to give me a chance to disappear just in case.

“Careful! Watch out! The baby will land on the floor!” said the ageless Parrot leaving a patient unattended opposite Margaret’s bed as she jumped to rescue my newborn whose thin legs were dangerously daggling, slipping from the bundle of flannels and shawls that I held.  I tried to strengthen the grip but it went through them like a trapped snake.

The Parrot jumped before the baby could fall and grabbed it almost a foot from the floor Rambo style. Margaret was already by her side. When she realized that the baby had been rescued, she started crying and the baby joined her.

“Oh! My dear Lord! What a ….?” hissed the Parrot as she took and wrapped the baby that was crying with furry for being mishandled by its father.

I was ready to be called anything now. I was shaken to the core and never paid much attention to any negative words and feelings these two women had towards me. I was like a remorseful child who had put a house on fire and now facing firemen at work. The baby continued to cry while women, some with their babies in their hands held them tightly as if I had provoked bad memories. Others murmured to each other wondering why a father like me with huge responsibilities over the baby had nearly caused its death.

“Do you have a female relative near you?” the aged Parrot asked Margaret, totally ignoring my existence as she cooed the baby who by now was calming down with dwindling outbursts.

“No. Why?” asked Margaret.

“Just curious”, she said looking at me condescendingly and got the satisfaction when I shifted my eyes from her. She gave the baby back to Margaret, who struggled to put the nipple of her breast into the baby’s mouth but soon it got the trick and started sucking it with a smack.

“Your wife has no complications. Take her home. Her type never spends a night here. We free such spaces for others. Did you bring your baby’s clothes”, asked the Parrot looking at me triumphantly upon realizing that we had none.

“No. We thought that she was going to spend the night here”, I said while she sneered.

“We are not a Samaritan purse and in any case, she is not supposed to spend the night here. All these women you see lying around had theirs through C-section.” I did not want to hear more of her nonsense. I left my wife begging to be allowed an overnight stay. By the time I returned, she was alright with it but my mind was already made for I did not want to experience her attitude and more stress.

I had already ordered a tuk-tuk taxi (a three-wheeled scooter). Soon we left with my baby wrapped in its mother’s sarong and a sweater. Upon arrival, I realized there was no food for Margaret. She needed to eat in order to feed the baby. Many things needed to be done at one go. The child needed to be clothed. It had none even at home.  It was only the week before when I had bought and lost them on the same day. As I alighted at the bus stop near my house, some outlaws approached me and before my two could land on the ground, they seized me up, taking everything, leaving me unconscious by the roadside. I woke up sleeping under the moon and the stars, wet with my own urine with people circling around, wearing sad faces.

“He has been mugged by those street robbers who strangle and take everything”, I heard one man say as I tried to understand where I was. I lifted myself, relieving the onlookers as I dusted my clothes, and walked home. Looking at me, Margaret guessed what had transpired and started crying, struck by sadness over the baby’s missing clothes and my near-death by a whisk when she saw my wet pants. She had been waiting for this moment but instead, it had turned out to be a tormenting experience.

It was getting dark. I had to start with the most important things. I went to buy food from a nearby kiosk where they prepare stew, rice, and chapatti. Luckily, I got two heaped plates and a stack of chapattis when the owner learned that Margaret had had a child.

“First give her this warm bone soup. It will warm her body”, she said passing a huge thermal to me with a seriousness of a pharmacist prescribing an important dosage.

“Then give her the food to eat. This porridge is for tomorrow morning. Congratulations and pass my best wishes to her as well.” I felt lucky at last for the day had ended well. I walked briskly to my house and fed Margaret before heading out to buy clothes.

“Where are you going?” asked Margaret smiling.

“To buy clothes for the baby”, I said.

“No shop is open and if you manage to get some, they will rob them again leaving you to die on the streets.

“What shall we do now? The baby will be cold”, I told Margaret but she just smiled widely eating, chomping, and tearing her chapattis greedily. Her hunger pangs after giving birth must have been very sharp.

“Check the baby first Maiko and see how he is doing.” I tiptoed to the baby’s cot and caught the newborn smiling. He looked calm in his sleep wearing brand new baby clothes and was also wrapped in some nice crispy warm cloth and a beautiful raced sky blue shawl. I got tempted to pick it up but remembered the near-fatal fall at the hospital and retreated.

“Where did you get these nice clothes from? You are never short of surprises Margaret.”

“When they robbed you, I knew that you had to wait for a month in order to buy others. So I have to confess that I took something valuable from this home and sold in order to buy other clothes”, she said. My father always told me that a wife possesses wealth or poverty on the day she marries.

“This is our car and we are heading to our house now”, he would say of a newlywed on her way to her husband’s house even though she has no idea how it had been acquired. I thought he was a chauvinist wondering what a woman was supposed to say.

“What did you sell Margaret and why did you not tell me?” I asked looking at her boldly but deep down filled with fear for I had witnessed the amount of energy and the damage that her tiny young body was likely to course.

“What is the need of having a camera like the one we had when we have no clothes for a newborn like this; our firstborn baby for that matter?” she said taking her last spoon whereas I had not touched my food. Even before I could talk, she was up in arms again.

“Can you imagine what a shame it would be for that delicate body there sleeping naked, receiving chills in the night while a useless camera that has not been used for the last ten months lies there?” she said as her finger pointed at both positions.

“It is not the camera that is annoying but rather, your act of selling anything in this house without telling me is annoying.”

“Eat first and then we can talk the rest tomorrow. I am sleepy and tired. It was not easy for me.” She said as she stood and took some tea that I had made before we left one cup after another in silence until there was nothing left. I munched my food in deep thought, trying to imagine what I would have done if she had not sold the only precious thing that I possessed. When my anger left, I realized that Margaret’s judgment was the best and even admired her bravely and wits. After that, we slept until the baby woke us up choking and coughing sending more panic attacks to me and another crying moment to Margaret.

The day that followed was calm and nice with the baby sleeping during the better part of the day. Then he would wake us up at night and continued with this schedule, driving me insane by falling asleep at dawn when I was supposed to wake and go to work. I was still wary of holding him and most of the time I preferred house chores.

This baby is only four months now but it feels like he has been alive since I was born. He is a bundle of joy. My mother has been with us for a whole month, educating Margaret on how to feed him.

Today, Margaret whispered something to me in the morning, leaving my brain foggy and my legs numb as they refused to walk. I had to sit for a minute before I left for work.

“Maiko, I felt sick yesterday in the morning and this morning I puked. I think another baby is on the way.”