23 comments

General

I once knew a man, he reminded me of the sea. 

Calm, like the soothing sound of the waves hitting the sand. 

Tranquil and reassuring, like the foamy surface, bubbling across the rocks and seeping into the cracks.

He propagated an aura of peacefulness and independence that I looked up to. And all you had to do was walk up to his shore. 


I remember sitting in the sinking yellow one day, watching the sunset. 

I remember looking out towards the contrasting blues: sky and sea. 

I remember sitting with him as he told me a story. A story of enraged spirits that continuously fought over nature’s most powerful gift. 

They called it the orb of life. 

Superficially, they fought for its power. But deep down they longed for its warmth, its touch. 

The two gods had fallen in love with the sun. 

But hate had been born out of love, so they clashed.

The universe erupted into chaos, and only the invincible remained alive. Space became an empty chasm of hate and turmoil. 

However, after millennia—each unable to defeat the other—they finally came to an agreement: they would share their most treasured desire. 

And out of that pact of peace, something new was born: equilibrium.

And out of equilibrium emerged life.


——


You walk towards the juxtaposition of land and sea, a battle of its own kind, and sit as you relish the relaxing sensation of crashing waves and crinkling sand.

You watch the sunset: a true love changing grasps. You follow the ball of life as it leaves the sky and hides into the dark waters of the sea.

Yet, as the world before you slowly gets consumed by darkness, a new source of light emerges.

You glance up and smile at the lonely orb that sits in the abyss of the night.


——


Jealously was not something she knew how to feel.

But she understood loneliness, and that was what filled her soul as she sat, alone.

She hadn’t always been alone. Once, a very long time ago, she had had a friend. 

She was a beautiful friend, one who shone brightly amongst the emptiness and warmed those around her. 

Her friend made her smile, made her glow, and she loved her dearly. 

However, she soon came to realize that she wasn’t the only one.

A war had begun because of her friend.

Now all they saw was her. All they looked at was her. All they stared at was her beautiful friend.

Her own glow remained, but no one was there to look at it, cherish it, love her.

Her heart began to ache as she looked down—down at a small world that sat close to her. 

She let her last light shine onto the small world. She was growing weak, and would soon disappear forever.

Suddenly she saw something—someone—looking back at her.

She saw two eyes of wonder as they stared, and joy rushed into her.

That someone smiled at her from down below, and the moon smiled back.


——


We were still sitting side by side on the shore when he said he was going to steal the sun. 

I knew he wore a mask, a mask in the shape of calm waves and harmonious rhythms. 

And I could see something was stirring, building itself up. 

A hidden jealousy was reaching the surface. It consumed him, blinded him. 

The sea was being surrounded by a storm, and his mask was slowly vanishing.

But I couldn’t let him do it.

Because I, too, loved what he loved.


——


You watch the orb you adore the most, as it watches you. 

It is dark and you hear the sea grow stronger. 

You feel an unusual anger brewing in the water but ignore it—you are transfixed by the white circle looking down on you.

Clouds begin to appear, but the light is too strong: it pierces through with brilliance and leaves you hypnotized in awe.


——


What was left was a monster. An uncontrollable thunder of ignorance and fear.

He lured others into his lair and infected them with his own suffering.

He grabbed those closest to him with a cold fist and dragged them to the depths. 

He couldn’t have the sun for himself, he didn’t truly love her.

Rage began to consume me, as it had already consumed him.

The time has come.


——


Something was not right. She could feel a trembling fury shake the world, an ancient madness hidden for too long.

A fury that would, once again, destroy everything.

She began to grow worried.

She tried to warn the someone looking at her. Clouds were beginning to emerge, trying to separate them, but she forced her last drops of strength to shine onto the world. 

Leave! 

But the someone only stared back. 

Please! It’s not safe!

GO!

They locked beams, the whites of your eyes and the white of the moon, a channel of true love and wonder, for the last time.

The moon began to cry as the only being in her life vanished behind the murky white.


——


You continue to stare as the moon slowly hides behind clouds.

The tide rises and starts to soak your feet with cold water full of anger.

The wind picks up, rustling the sand and blows violently through your hair.

Yet you remain seated, looking at where the moon had once been.

The water continues to rise past your toes and begins to flood your legs.

The clouds lower themselves with rage, touching the sea, and obscuring your vision.

You take a deep breath as the water reaches your chin and the clouds surround you.


——


It’s not easy to look straight into the light if you have always lived in darkness.

He had found love in the light. But with it came loss.

He shut everything behind him and walked ahead in anger and clouded blindness.

He couldn’t see his past. He couldn’t remember we had been born together, moulded by the same forces. 

Our destinies and desires forced us apart, but our origins remain the same. Together, forever.

But I couldn’t let him take what was mine.


One last time, brother. 

One last time, in the name of love.


——


Sky and sea erupted into battle, shadowing the world and killing everything in it.

She watched in horror as she sat in the lonely sky, unable to do anything, her glow weakening.

Opposites attract but refuse to face in the same direction.

She began to harness a strange sensation that grew stronger and stronger the more she watched the war. On the outside, her shine was diminishing, but inside an unknown power began to boil.

Once she had only known friendship, and out of it, she found loneliness.

Then she witnessed and felt true love. But, that love had been stolen from her, and out of that love, she began to create hate.

Hate started to consume her glow and fill her desires, darkening her senses, and turning her into something she was not.

It was already too late when she realized that she was becoming the one thing that had taken everything from her.

Then, ever so slowly, her glow began to abandon her, suppressing her feelings. She weakened into nothing, vanishing in the abyss of the night.


——


I once knew a man, he reminded me of myself.

He lived in a world where the sun shone best.

But did not rise once it had set.

May 04, 2020 05:10

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

23 comments

Ariel I
00:31 May 06, 2020

Poetic structure, encapsulating phrasing, and powerful descriptions. Nice work.

Reply

Michael Loss
16:40 May 06, 2020

Thank you! I was experimenting with this unusual style and really enjoyed it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Matt Render
05:52 Jun 05, 2020

I enjoyed the ending, very poetic.

Reply

Michael Loss
14:29 Jun 05, 2020

Thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Aqsa Malik
13:09 May 13, 2020

Your bio omg haha. But this was honestly so good-the descriptions were so poetic, as was the story itself. Good job!

Reply

Michael Loss
14:26 May 13, 2020

Thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Avani G
02:44 May 11, 2020

Interesting bio, LOL! But I loved the poetic features of this story... keep on writing!

Reply

Michael Loss
03:45 May 11, 2020

Haha thank you!

Reply

Avani G
12:24 May 11, 2020

Your welcome! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
L. M.
20:44 May 09, 2020

Well written, and yes, poetic. It captured the senses nicely.

Reply

Michael Loss
21:44 May 09, 2020

Thanks!!

Reply

L. M.
01:38 May 10, 2020

You're welcome. :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
16:51 May 09, 2020

I particularly loved this story. I like the way you played on words and how you managed the descriptions skillfully. Quite different from your other work, actually but perfect nonetheless. One more glance at the end and it just takes my breath away. Hoping for more from you. Well done!

Reply

Michael Loss
17:12 May 09, 2020

Thank you!! It was quite a challenge writing this way, but I'm so happy you liked it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Prashansa Dhiman
15:05 May 09, 2020

I liked your writing style. Perfect!!

Reply

Michael Loss
16:40 May 09, 2020

Thank you! It means a lot to me that you liked it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
X Y
14:00 May 09, 2020

Your writing is beautifully poetic.

Reply

Michael Loss
16:40 May 09, 2020

Thank you so much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ruth Porritt
13:51 May 05, 2020

Lol, no this story did not disappoint!🙂 I admire your use of description in this story. (Description is something I am always working on improving.) Perfect ending. Are you thinking about/or have you published a collection of short stories? Thanks, and catch you later.

Reply

Michael Loss
15:46 May 05, 2020

Thank you! This story is a weird one... Not my usual style but I was trying out something different! I have a collection of short stories but, unfortunately, they are either too long or too short for this site (and I didn't follow any prompts!). They are all on my google docs, so I could easily send the links to you. Thanks for the support!

Reply

Ruth Porritt
01:31 May 06, 2020

Hello Michael, It was really my pleasure to read your story. Awesome sauce! :) Sure, you can send me the links--but I feel a bit weird about that because you would be sending your baby (basically) to me. If you feel cool with sending me the links, than that is also okay. Isn't support awesome? :) All writers need it a great deal, and it's a pleasure to support writers who write about stuff that I'm interested in. Catch you later, Ruth

Reply

Michael Loss
05:07 May 06, 2020

Of course! Your support is wonderful! And don't worry about it, I'd love to share what I have! Is there a chance I could have your email?

Reply

Ruth Porritt
05:52 May 06, 2020

Hello Michael, Sure, my email is ruth.porritt@aian.org.cn Are you looking for feedback on specific things in your work, or would you like more of a reader's perspective? Ruth I

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.