Chuck Chomsky the Chupacabra Chaser

       It baffles me when people follow the ordinary mold for life and willingly miss out on so much. Chuck Chomsky thought while steam danced up from his tea mug and painted a hazy fog across his wayfarer glasses. His eyes closed softly as the citrus aromas tingled his nose.

           “Hey, Chuck! Got a good one here.” Sawyer slammed a printed-out email on Chuck’s desk.

           A mission? Chuck grinned and scanned the paper for key details. Eloise Turner-Ward blamed a Chupacabra for sucking the blood from her three baby goats. As Chuck’s eyes widened and his grin broadened, he glanced up at Sawyer who nodded his head excitedly.

           “Read how she describes the sighting later. This ain’t no coyote with mange. This sounds like the real deal.”

           Chuck searched the papers until he found details of the spotting.

When Eloise saw what happened to her goats, she took to the woods with a shotgun and some friends to help her enact her vengeance. In the dark blue of twilight, they saw a creature in the distance. This creature was tall, with long, pointed ears, and sharp spikes coming out of its spine. No one could tell the color of the creature in the dim lighting, but they all claimed to have seen two sharp vampirish fangs protruding from its mouth.

           Rubbing his hands together with glee, Chuck said, “Well, pack the van. Looks like we’re going on a road trip!”

           Sawyer raised a fist in cheer and ran off to pack the camera equipment. With each passing year, Sawyer’s enthusiasm for their projects only grew stronger, and Chuck felt confident he selected the best cameraman for the job.

           After a sip of tea, Chuck leaned back in his chair and remembered the moment that started it all. When he was just a small boy, romping around in the woods and building tree forts, he saw a Chupacabra with his own bright blue eyes. The creature stood tall, with menacing red eyes. Long spikes like that of a porcupine lined its spine. The grayish-brown monster snarled, revealing long vampire fangs dripping in white foamy drool. Little boy Chuck froze in place like a statue knowing that he was dead meat. His eyes welded shut with fear.

Nothing happened. When he opened them, the creature was long gone. Chuck didn’t know how he survived that perilous day. He thought maybe he just didn’t look appetizing. Being that he was a scrawny little runt, the creature might have felt he wasn’t worth the effort. Whatever the case, a seed of obsessive curiosity planted itself in his mind, and the rest of his life became a quest for answers. This quest led him to make videos online of his explorations. If he ever saw a fascinating beast of any kind, he wanted that evidence on tape. No more wondering if he made it up or dealing with people accusing him of being highly imaginative. He’d have proof.

So far there hadn’t been much luck though. People called in with sightings that turned out to be sick coyotes. Some even tried to fool them with costumes and make up to get on tv. Chuck hoped this time would be different.

With Sawyer driving the van, they headed over to meet Eloise Turner-Ward, and if they were lucky, the Chupacabra that lurked in her woods.

Reading the email had given Chuck an idea of what Eloise would be like, but he knew he could be wrong. He wasn’t though. Eloise was just the kind of woman he imagined her to be. When they parked in her driveway, she kicked open her screen door and greeted them with a shotgun. She was an older woman with wavy gray hair pulled back into a ponytail. She wore a long white dress with tan work boots and a red flannel shirt.

“What business you got here?” She yelled.

Chuck stuck his head out the van window and flashed her a smile. The gun dropped to the ground, as her hands threw to her mouth.

“Oh my god! Chuck Chomsky! I…I can’t believe it’s you! Bill, get out here! Chuck Chomsky’s here!”

The door flew open and out came a young man that Chuck imagined to be an adult son. Bill had an admirable horseshoe mustache and brawny physique. When he saw Chuck, he let out a squeal of excitement that could just as easily have come from one of their piglets. Chuck jumped out of the van eager to greet his fans.

“We’ve watched all your shows. Every single one…” Bill rambled on while Chuck wrapped him in a tight bear hug.

“We’re so glad you’re here. A lot of people won’t even believe us, but I knew you would. Course you would,” Eloise crooned while Chuck hugged her.

“I’m Sawyer. Camera man.” Sawyer shrugged and looked unsure what to do.

“You boys come on in for some fresh lemonade. Luckily for you, I’ve even made one of my famous pies.”

Over tall glasses of lemonade with mint leaves, and homemade strawberry rhubarb pie, they discussed the mysterious woodland lurcher. With each detail, Chuck felt the excitement bubbling up inside him and pounding in his chest.

“Folks around here don’t go too far into these woods. They step close and get the heebie-jeebies. Something’s in there. Of that I’m sure,” Bill said. “Y’all might find more than our little Chupacabra if you get too close.”

“You get out there and it’s like hitting an invisible wall. Can’t explain it. Breathing gets tough. Like being underwater,” Eloise added.

Chuck couldn’t wait any longer. The woods called to him, and he hoped that was a sign they’d let him in.

Eloise and Bill offered to have dinner for them when they returned, which Chuck and Sawyer appreciatively agreed to. Then they packed their bags and walked into the woods behind Eloise’s farm. Sawyer had the camera running in case anything crossed their path earlier than expected.

The woods were quiet, other than chirping bird songs. The humidity weighed on them like a blanket, dampening their t-shirts. Golden rays of sunlight trickled through the tree branches. They pushed through branches and worked their way deeper into the woods.

Chuck hit the invisible wall first. He stopped walking and couldn’t understand why. Chills creeped down his spine and something in his mind screamed to turn around. Then Sawyer stopped beside him. They walked to the side to see if that would work. It did. They followed the invisible border until they reached a tunnel of shrubs. After exchanging a concerned glance, they walked through.

The other side seemed brighter. Almost like a picture with high color saturation compared to the original. The green of the leaves popped.

“Shit, the camera died!” Sawyer yelled. “I had full battery. I don’t…I don’t understand.”

Chuck pulled out his phone. It may not have the best camera, but it worked in a pinch. It also died. So did Sawyer’s.

“What’s going on?” Chuck asked.

A loud squawk drew their attention to the sky. A golden bird with a magnificent wingspan flew over them.

“I don’t know much about birds, but I ain’t ever seen one like that,” Sawyer said.

Chuck whacked Sawyer’s shoulder and pointed ahead to where they saw another unusual creature. Its face looked like that of a bear, but it had an elongated body like a dachshund or corgi. The long bear dug into the ground, then its body twisted like a spiral noodle as it tunneled through the earth.

“Look at that!” Sawyer pointed to a large, white deer with silver antlers and glacier blue eyes.

“This is incredible!” Chuck gasped.

The deer sprinted away, and the woods fell quiet. The vibrant colors darkened. A scurry of squirrels approached them. Something about the look in their eyes frightened Chuck and Sawyer. The squirrels bared their teeth. Chuck and Sawyer stumbled back towards the tunnel. Looking up for a moment, Chuck saw what they came for. The Chupacabra stood not far behind the squirrels. His ruby eyes burned through them. His upper lip curled to reveal a sharp fang.

Chuck and Sawyer ran through the tunnel screaming. They leapt over fallen trees, burst through pricker bushes, and stumbled across the uneven forest floor. After running at full speed for what felt like hours, but was likely only a moment, they stopped to catch their breath. When they turned the Chupacabra wasn’t far behind. They noticed other creatures poured out from the tunnel as well.

“Oh, no!” Sawyer cried. “What do we do?”

“It’s like we opened some sort of portal or something.”

The Chupacabra growled. Froth dripped from his lips. The squirrels surrounded his feet braced for attack. Sawyer and Chuck looked at each other with horror. Then they continued running until they broke through the woods.

They turned back to see the creatures waiting at the edge of the woods. None had broken through. Chuck wondered if they had reached their own invisible wall.

“Will the camera work now?” Chuck asked.

“I don’t think they want to be filmed,” Sawyer said, but he checked anyway. The camera did work, but when he lifted it to film, the creatures were gone.

“Dang it!” Chuck said.

“That was wild.” Sawyer’s breathing was heavy and desperate like someone whose head popped out of the water right before drowning.

“Yeah, but you know how it goes. Pictures or it didn’t happen. We still didn’t get any proof.” Chuck lowered his head in disappointment. Other people need to know they’re out there. They need to see how incredible our world is.

Sawyer shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe sometimes living something is enough.”

Chuck nodded, even though he didn’t agree. All this time he thought seeing one definitively in the daylight was all he needed. Now that he had, a new seed of obsession had been planted. He’d find out the truth about these woods. He glanced at the tree line once more, and swore he saw a pair of red eyes glaring back.

Noticing the frown on Chuck’s face, Sawyer added, “Hey, it’s not for nothing. At least we know we’re right. We know things are out there. We have certainty in our selves. No more doubts. That matters.”

Chuck knew he was right. This hadn’t been him alone. They both went through this. This whole thing wasn’t pretend. It wasn’t all fun. It was real. “And we’re finally at the right place. There’s plenty in there for us to explore. We’re on to something!”

Sawyer nodded. A small smirk spread across his lips. “Let the adventure begin.”