Romance Incorporated

Q, sat in the corner office by the window overlooking the gloomy city drenching itself in rain. It looked like it was eating itself from the inside.

He took a deep breath and rang over Parvati.

Parvati's long thick black hair swayed when she walked. It entered the room before she did. 

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes. Thanks for coming in P. How're the numbers looking?"

"Oh...The numbers?" Parvati sighed. "Well...are the quarterlies report due already?"

"Mhm."

"Ok so here's the deal."

"Whoa. Whoa. Let me cut you off there for a moment, P. I might need some Cabarenet Sauvignon before you finish that sentence. I don't think I have the emotional capacity for anything that isn't overtly positive right now."

"Wine, this early sir?"

"Don't judge me, P!" Q took a seat down on his recliner and poured himself a glass from a red flask. "Don't give me that look."

Parvati rolled her eyes. "It's NYC, sir. It's not what it use to be in the 60's. What do you expect from a city where the rats outnumber its citizens 20 to 1. It's not Paris."

"Ugh. At least the Rats are still multiplying."

Parvati shrugged.

"P... Who are we fooling here? You haven't been to Paris since the Battle of Gabon. They have their own Disney movies featuring Parisian Rats."

"I'm just saying, It's a lot of work for one person."

"Uh-huh! Knew you couldn't cut it, Ms. Goddess of Nourishment! There's no way romantic love has diminished at this rate, at this magnitude. Do you need the OG to step in? They don't call me the Greek Messiah for nothing!" Q teased while his chubby cheeks formed a big dimpled grin. He chugged the rest of his glass of red wine.

"Ah, you mean the The Winged-Messenger?"

"Ha. Low-blow." Q smiled again and made light of Parvati's joke even though it struck a nerve. He knew more than anyone he was only living in the shadows to his superior, the CEO, Goddess of Fertility, Love, Sex, and every other high esteemed title under her belt, Venus. She was the best there ever was. No contest. No matter how hard Q tried, he could never inspire people to fall in love the way she did and live up to her high expectations.

"Just zip it.", he whispered. "I was only kidding. I haven't worked in the field in..."

Parvati grabbed a notepad with scribbles from his desk. "What's this?"

Q lunged to try and grab it back from her hands. "Hey give that back here-"

"Another of your great heavenly verses, huh sir?"

Q's face seemed to turn cherry-red as he watched her reading it.

"Ummmm..." Parvati lingered. 'Wellllll..."

Q half-expected her to call the poem manipulative, controlling or worse yet just plain out creepy. He'd expect her to remind him of his age, and advise him to get with the 21st century. Like the washed out-loser he felt he was. She'd proclaim him as a pathetic "Has-been". 

"Did you hear what I said?" asked Parvati. "Or are you in your head again, sir?"

Q looked flustered, he snatched the notepad back from her grip.

"This is beautiful. What you wrote about the fallacies of love, and how the fundamentals of good communication. Why aren't you working directly with us in New York? You're instead working what? Californian's have all those pop-songs and bullshit dance clubs and dating apps from Silicon Valley. You should have been in NYC with me and Frigga."

"Look at these charts." Q pointed to a map of New York. Behind Parvati, it displayed red moving virtual pins that turned a bright red to decaying grayish and white before disappearing. "It's a lot!"

"Like I said- These people need someone like you to develop a strategy."

"You really think I could still offer something?"

"Without a doubt, sir."

"We can start by utilizing our entire resources. Frigga can join us?"

"Oh, the girl from accounting?" 

"Yep. She inspired, some nice festivities in Scandinavia in her early days...Midsummer Eve, Waffle Day, Oktoberfest et cetera..."

Parvati had a reputation in the South Asian Art culture origins, working along side prominent deities she had also help shape the majority of other European traditions. She had been a key in transforming Paris to the romantic city it was today, from recently inspiring Frédéric Baron to create the Le mur des je t'aime, wall. It was her latest venture into transforming the citiscape for Parisians to spend time in, while overall helping shape the Romantisim movement throughout the world..

Ring. Ring.

"Hold that thought." Q picked up the phone. "Speak of the Devil."

Q placed Frigga on speaker.

"Hey fake-ass Romeo Montague, we have a big fuckery of an emergency."

"Frigga. You're on speaker."

"Oh - uh...Sorry, Mr. Q. Listen, your favorite senior manager at this firm has left a message for you on an important task. There are two strangers within a few kilometers from each other...get this... with a 95 percentile compatibility."

"You're kidding me."

"I have it all on this data chart , Q."

"Soul mates? Its really been a few hundred years. Most people don't have this compatability and they make it work so perfectly, but this almost feels like an obligation to pursue. Cancel the rest of my appointments for the day. If Hera calls, take a message." 

"Venus will be in at 3 p.m. to check in on this personally."

Q almost choked on his saliva. "Damn. This is big."

Parvati smiled and sat down, "Calm down sir, you're hyperventilating."

"I'll get you a cup of that gross peppermint coffee you like so much, Mr. Q. We'll get through this together."

"I can't... How far is Venus now?"

"She's flying in from Italy on the Pegasus-Express."

"Ok we need to get through this alteration quick. Bring my coffee and join us, will you, Frigga?"

"Really? You want my help?"

"Yes."

"You got it!"

Frigga stormed in their office balancing hot coffees, one for the three of them. Parvati had already positioned her laptop by Q's elongated desk."

Frigga balanced her computer on her lap while she sipped her own brew.

"Read me his Bio, Frigga."

"Ryan Gordon Score, 22-years-old, Born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio. Lives with two roommates outside of Manhattan. Has two dating profiles currently active. No promising conversations. Ha, he's been ghosted recently. Who the hell brings up their obsession with collecting baseball cards during a chat before meeting?"

"Stop reading his rejection messages."

"Hey. I'm doing my due diligence here. He's had sex with this older woman recently he met at this bar, twenty years older while he was hammer-"

"Enough. I've heard enough."

"What?"

"This is serious. It's the one time at making history and living up to our names, besides age is just a number."

"Tell that to the high court, sir."

"Oh, you know what I mean."

Q set up his computer with Parvati and Frigga at his side, large monitors virtually displayed an image of Ryan. He sat at a bar well-dressed with his friend Johnny each drinking a pint of beer and watching the Baseball game on the TV by the bar.

Q cracked his knuckles.

"Frigga. Figure out how to ditch the kid."

"Give him IBS?"

"No."

"A peanut allergy?"

"NO!"

"Choke on a bar peanut then?"

"Nothing that involves him nearly dying, please."

"You got it sir. I'll standby on something good, when she arrives."

"Ok. Do you have eyes on the girl, P?"

"She's still 5 miles away, heading to a Dragonforce concert."

"Really? This kid thinks Nickleback is too rough. They're a match? Parvati can you delay the show three hours from now. Alert the concert attendees with text messages from the venue. Put it on the website and all that Jazz. We need her in that bar."

"Really, sir? It's like an hour from now. People are going to freak."

"I don't care if it breaks up a dozen people, we're making this one happen."

"You're starting to sound like the God of Treachery now Q..." said Frigga.

"Don't bring my brother into this." Q barked. "It's fine. It's fine. Where's Buddha when you need him? I need some Zen in my life right now. I was half-joking though, metalheads are pretty nice actually."

"Sir? The girl's friend's won't take a hint. I've dropped many, her friend keeps nudging her away from the bar, suggesting a Sushi restaurant closer to the venue."

"Don't call her, "girl." Did we not get a Bio read on her, Frigga?"

"It's Emma. I'm sorry I've been just focused on this guys DM's they're hilarious!"

"Do you think why you're ever being a jerk? Like does it ever cross your mind?"

"Ha. Nope."

"P. Can we maybe trigger some happy memories of the place. Didn't Emma come here when she turned 21? Like a year ago?"

"Ugh. If I were any more obvious she'd think she was being possessed."

"Then possess her!" Q shook his head.

Q got up to refill his coffee. "Need something stronger." he said. "Fuck this peppermint shit."

Parvati manipulated her thoughts a bit, memories rushed into Emma's head that reminded her of a nice date she had once at the bar. She remembered enjoying the food she had ordered there, cheeseburger with savory shoestring fries that were to die for and their generous beer pours from tap. There was also a nice retro quality to the bar that was comforting.

Emma looked down at her phone message and broke the bad news to her trio of girlfriends regarding the delayed concert show.

A collective sigh of disappointments was expelled.

"Guys, I'm not feeling like sushi tonight. How about some drinks at Zebra-Room Sport's Bar instead? They have really good cocktails there and don't get me started on the fries."

"Mmm." her friend licked her lips. "Fine, but only if the cocktails aren't watered down."

The group of girls all agreed and they headed over.

Ryan's friend suggested they ordered some food. Ryan chose the shoestring fries, one of his favorites.

"Rendezvous in 3 minutes. Then hit the button, Frigga."

Frigga initiated a bothersome feeling in Johnny's stomach.

"Sorry dude, I...ugh...think the beer got me bloated, Bee-R-Bee!"

As Johnny rushed to the bathroom stall which had a small line, Emma walked in with her friends in search of a booth by the window.

Emma noticed the fries on Ryan's plate as she passed.

"Nice! I love those!" she pointed. "I'm so glad they still have them on the menu."

Ryan looked up to Emma and smiled when their eyes locked. "Oh, Ha. Yeah, they're my favorite too. Totally worth the price tag, I think."

"Yeah, good thing my friends are treating me today."

"Special occasion?"

"Yeah, it's my birthday." said Emma with an unimpressed smile. "Quarter life crisis, y'know."

"Yeah, been there. Done that. Well, happy birthday." Ryan said smiling and raising his cup to her.

"Thank you." Ryan got a little bit of goosebumps from the quick interaction, she smiled then headed back to join her friends at their table.

"We need something here" said Q.

"I'm drawing blanks."

"IBS to the three of her friends?"

"Frigga, shut up."

"Parvati, how do we get them to keep talking?"

"Let's try this."

The bartender brought Ryan a menu. "Hey dude." he tilted his chin up. "Would you like anything else to drink? We have some cocktail specials for Friday night."

"No I think I'm -" 

Ryan noticed a ketchup splatter on one called the "Cupid's Arrow" that looked pretty good, it was a Cranberry Bourbon concoction.

His thoughts displayed on a live message-board, where Q, Parvati, and Frigga read in real time. It was like verbal diarrhea. There was confident flirting ideas singled out by insecurities and grumbling second-guesses and over thinking.

"C'mon dude. Be brave. You can do it!" said Q.

"Grow some cojones!" Frigga whispered. "Shes into you, channel that Big PeePee energy will ya?" 

"Frigg. Give him time. This is out of his comfort zone, he hasn't had a lot of experience yet with women of her caliber. She's confident in herself and doesn't settle. Ryan, she doesn't want you to be extra nice to her for her looks. Just be yourself, dude. She's just a another person with her own insecurities, don't put her on a pedestal and realize you're just as worthy when you're being yourself."

"Uhhhh... actually." said Ryan to the bartender.

"Yeah?"

"Can you send this uh, red one - to the brunette with the black hoodie sitting over there." Ryan said with a hoarseness in his voice, clearing the phlegm in his throat that seemed to appear from nowhere. 

"Of course." the bartender smiled. "I'll send that over in a second."

Ryan sipped on his beer with his eyes glued to the screen, he took small peeks over to the table where Emma sat.

Then the bartender came by to the table, he smiled and pointed to Ryan at the bar and handed a drink over to Emma's friend instead.

"Oh-My. Fucking God. Shoot me."

Ryan's friend sent him a message too. He had rushed to his car because he wasn't feeling well thinking he caught himself a bad case of food poisoning.

Q shook his head at Frigga.

Someone tapped Ryan on the shoulder. "Excuse me."

"Oh, hey."

"My friend really loved that drink." she said blushing. "She said you're very cute, but she's married Ha Ha."

"Oh It was uh, heh. Actually..."

"I know. I had an idea. Gotta admit, it was pretty funny in the worse way possible."

Ryan smiled from ear to ear. "Oh man, well I'm glad to be an amusement for you."

"Thank you though." she smiled. "I would have loved it. Cranberry is my favorite. Ha Ha". Emma looked down at Ryan's plate. "So you didn't like the shoestring fries?"

"Oh, I ordered an extra large for my friend, but he bailed."

"That's too bad. Maybe I could steal one from you? My friend's ate most of mine."

"Be my guest."

Emma grabbed a fry.

"Oh." Emma paused. "They're cold."

"How about... we order some more instead?" Ryan asked bravely.

Emma hesitated for a moment. "Yeah, That sounds great actually. My friends are preoccupied trying to get the bartenders number."

"But, it's on me. I'll order something else for my friends while I'm at it."

Ryan smiled. "How about I treat you to a cranberry juice bourbon cocktail then?"

"Sounds good, Ha Ha. Can't screw it up this time right?" she stuck her tongue out at him.

Ryan's face flushed and his heart sped A little."

Q returned sipping on his coffee. "What'd I miss?"

"Science, sir. You missed some good ole fashion chemistry."

"Nice one, Frigga. Thank you. Thank you both for holding down the fort. I think we're done here."

Ring. Ring.

"Q, it's for you."

"It's remarkable you've been that busy to pick up the phone, Eros."

"Venus. You can call me Q. And I'm happy to say, the job was a success."

"I know. I called to congratulate you."

"It was a team effort. P and Frigga had a huge part in it." 

"Was it now? I guess it was a good idea we relocated Parvati to the states then?"

"She has been an essential asset to this branch."

"Listen, Q. We'll grab lunch and can discuss what this means to your promising career. Like I said. I'm very impressed. Talk to you soon."

Click. 

"Well?" Parvati sat attentively.

"We're getting our bonus?" Frigga asked.

"How about we'll be immortalized in history?" asked Parvati.

Q shook his head. He didn't really know, but the outcome seemed positive. He felt content with his work. "How about that feel-good feeling in your belly that says you're making the world a little better?" Q paused to allow an emotional reaction from the two but they just looked wide eyed waiting for a response from their boss. "Fine." he sighed disappointedly "Yes, we're getting our bonus."