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‘Did you always know that you were going to be famous?’
‘Well, I would say that it was my calling. When I was young, I realised that this was my purpose in life and I could truly make a difference.’
‘Wow, that’s beautiful. What was the moment that you realised that this was your calling, that this is what you would dedicate your life to?’
‘That’s a good question…hmm, I guess there wasn’t a moment that stands out for me. There isn’t a moment that my life flipped on its head. I think there was little moments that gradually led to here. You know the first time I published a photo, it was scary because the whole world could judge me. The world could give me their opinion about something a part of me. They would judge me.’
‘ Wow, that’s inspiring. In today’s day and age, it is really important, especially for young people, to have role models…and I think you and other social media influencers are really are the heroes. You save lives. Your photos really are life changing. Your photos really tell a story… a beautiful story of life of someone living fully and free. A thing that all of us should do— live our lives like today is the last day. I especially loved the photo with the moon.’
‘The moon? I’m not sure what you’re talking about… Hold on, what’s happening? Why are things morphing around me? Who are you? Where am I?’
‘Well, this is a dream. Open your eyes…’
‘Are you joking?!? That was a dream! I need to find a way to make this happen. It’s my destiny.’
Some time later…
‘I have any idea!’
‘Good thing you just scared my half to death as you burst into the living room. And why is that the most terrifying thing I have ever heard come from your mouth—‘
‘I’m going to become an astronaut, so I can take the coolest photo from space— imagine me in space with Earth in the background. How does that sound?’
‘That sounds like the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I’m not sure if I want to hear the answer to this, but why do you need a photo of you in space? You’ve never had any interest in space… or science for that matter. Becoming an astronaut is not any easy thing.’
‘ You are actually wrong because I googled it and—‘
‘You googled how to become an astronaut and you still thought that was a good idea? A good thing for you to pursue?’
‘No, that is stupidest thing that I have ever heard. I googled “how to become internet famous”, duh! And, it said that you need to do something impressive to get people’s attention. So, then I googled “impressive things to do” and it kind of took me on this journey—it led me to impressive skills, but who would want to speed read or learn how to start a fire in the wild—‘
‘Because that is not a useful skill to know—‘
‘Skills led me to impressive jobs, but anyone can be a doctor or a software engineer—‘
‘Well, that is not even close to true. Those are jobs that require a lot of education—‘
‘I started to look for jobs that most people don’t have. You know, jobs that make people go “ ‘Wow, that’s cool! I’ll follow you on Instagram.’
‘Right, that makes totally sense since that’s the obvious reason why people get jobs. Making money would be silly. Who needs money when you can get instagram follows.’
‘Exactly! Now you get it!’
‘Are you joking? That was a joke. Because get jobs for money, not for Instagram.’
‘Ok, “right”? Like that would make sense. Where was I? Googling Instagram…skills…Ok, I remember what I was going to say. I googled “who has the most Instagram followers”. Since I can’t sing or am like an athlete because sports make zero sense to me,I went down the list and lucky #41 was NASA. Since I can’t create my own space company, I decided that becoming an astronaut is the next best thing… Why are you looking at me like that while holding your head? That was not the reaction I expected. I thought you would be excited.’
‘You’re right, I’m sorry. That’s great! Congrats! How are you going to—how are you going to do this? Become an astronaut?’
‘So, I googled it. According to NASA’s website, I have to be a US citizen. Check. Have a master’s degree in STEM or have my doctorate. Don’t have that but we will go back to this. Have two years of professional experience or 1000 hours of flying. Check. Frequent flier.’
‘ I don’t think they meant that—I think they mean flying as you are the pilot... the one flying the plane.’
‘Potato, potato. What else…I have to pass NASA’s “long-duration flight astronaut physical” whatever that means—‘
‘Probably something super important—‘
‘I pretty much have half of these things, so I just need to my master’s—‘
‘After you get your bachelors—‘
‘ Sam, it didn’t say anywhere about having a bachelors, so I think you are wrong, you silly goose. And I can totally get a master’s in STEM. Did you know that the T in STEM is for technology? I didn’t until today, who knew. I know technology. I’m great at taking pictures… and googling stuff, so I’m sure this master’s degree will be super easy to get. I probably can a certificate or something online.’
‘You know what? I have a better idea, how about we take a trip somewhere— anywhere you want— and you can take some cool photos. There are already tons of photos of space with NASA and other astronauts, but getting super cool photo on Earth is even more special. And being an astronaut is a lot of work. You will have to do years of work for one photo. You’ll have to go back school, take exams—remember, how stressful school was for you? But, if you take a cool trip somewhere, you don’t have to do any work and still get the likes.’
‘You are a genius!! I’m going to book a trip now and...’
‘And I have no clue what you are saying since you are running away…and ran out the house. Well, that was disaster avoided. I need to get new friends… and my house keys taken away from insane people.’
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