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Fantasy Funny Fiction

"My boots are full of thinkings," Carrie said, as she stood on the front porch, her little pink rain coat slick and shiny. "Mommy, my boots are full..."


"Oh, Carrie," Terra said, shifting Baby LouLou on her hip, as she took her five year old daughter's backpack from the girl's little hands. "I told you to keep your boots tucked into your pants!"


"Inna pants!" LouLou crowed.


Carrie shook her hood off and said, "Mommy, you aren't listening. Is it because you're overworked and tired since your life didn't turn out the way you expected? Maybe you can start some online courses while LouLou takes his nap. You always wanted to be a phlebotomist, didn't you?"


Terra, hanging the backpack up on its little peg, stopped dead at the words from her daughter's lips. She turned to look at the kindergartener, who by now was plopped on the floor pulling her sopping wet stocking feet out of her boots, "What did you say?"


Carrie shrugged, "I forget. Can I have a snack?"


"Me too!" LouLou yelled, loud enough to rattle Terra's teeth. "SNACK! SNACK!"


Giggling, Carrie shed her raincoat, and began jumping around like that cartoon weasel on that stupid show insisted on watching every spare minute of the day. "SNACK SNACK SNACK!"


Then, whatever Terra had thought she heard Carrie say was forgotten in the chaos of two small children that was her day to day life. Outside the rain beat a steady tata tata tata on the roof, barely audible beneath cacophony of after school. Sometimes Terra wondered why she had married so young, but life was life, she guessed.


Three doors down, Jandy Mae Renick looked out at the rain, and her soft shoulders slumped. She tugged at her too tight sweater and struggled with her umbrella. "Oh, come on," she muttered, "you stupid thing." The rain swirled just beyond the porch, and she looked at her car parked just right over there in the driveway. Did she really need to go to the store? A demanding meow from the enormous yellow tabby on the window sill drove any thoughts of waiting until this storm let up from her mind. Jenkybutt was out of Kitty Kibble and he would give her no peace until his dish was full. Maybe if she was quick she wouldn't get too wet?


Oh, let's be honest, she wasn't going to be quick, not with all the extra weight she'd gained over the past year. Sigh. It wasn't like she ate a lot, just a salad for dinner, some dry toast for breakfast. She had no idea why she couldn't keep the weight off. Big bones, she supposed. Her swollen fingers shoved one last time at the umbrella and it opened... and kept opening until it was inside out.


"Sonova..." Jandy Mae stopped herself from swearing just at the last moment, crossing herself and sending a quick apology to God for her near vulgarity. It didn't make her feel better though, and she got a minor bit of satisfaction dashing the umbrella to the porch with a Hmph!


Then, with a sigh, she limped down the stairs, and into the rain, which now pattered into her like little cold needles, flattening her carefully curled hair and running down her ample form like the caresses of a lover. She waddled to her car, and as she reached for the handle, a thought suddenly struck her out of the blue. "I should get my thyroid checked."


Slipping into the driver's seat, Jandy Mae pulled her phone out of her purse, the rain beaded on her glasses, and four minutes later, she had an appointment with her doctor, a month down the road of course, but an appointment nonetheless. Why hadn't she thought of her thyroid before? Where had she even heard the word thyroid? She shook her head, mussing her sodden curls and shrugged. Probably some late night tv commercial half noticed while she and Jenkybutts snuggled and dozed.


Oh! Jenkybutts needed kibble! Jandy Mae put her key in the ignition and headed on her way. The rain followed, beating tinka tinka tinka on the roof of the car as it sailed down the street, splashing a wake up over the abandoned trash cans of the corner house, where a yellow lab sat impatiently at the door.


"It's raining," Mav Vance looked over at Pardner, who whined at him, his leash in his mouth. "You do not want to go out."


"Mrrf!" insisted Pardner, his tail tump tumping on the wood floor.


"You stupid dog," Mav muttered, "Cole! Cole, get down here!"


"What?" came the distant shout from his fifteen year old step son, the kid probably not even getting off his tush, "I'm doing my homework!"


"You're playing ShooterBoy Bang Bang!" Mav shouted back, "Now get down here!"


The loud stomping of feet down the stairs announced the arrival of the tall lanky kid, not yet grown into his arms and legs, "It's called SniperGod RallyForce," Cole muttered, "and, it's not just a game. It's like for teaching strategy and stuff."


"Well, only strategy you need to figure out how to get yourself a girlfriend and stop being such a nerd," Mav said, "Now, take your dog out before he makes on the floor."


"It's raining!" Cole protested,


"Rain's just water," Mav snorted, "It ain't gonna hurt you but if that dog stains the hard wood, I just might."


"What a buncha..."


"Watch it!"


"FINE!" Cole snapped, and he pulled his windbreaker off its hook by the door. Pardner, seeing this, leapt to his feet, nails clickity clackitying on the floor. "Calm down, Dummy," Cole scolded him, prying the leash from the dog's mouth and trying to clip the hook to his collar. "Let's make this quick."


The boy and the dog headed into the rain, and Mav snickered as he turned up the tv. "Dumbass kid."


Instantly the rain soaked the skinny kid to the bone, not a long distance to travel to be certain, and as Cole tugged the excited dog back, his mind began to wander. Across the street was Mary Lisbeth's house, pretty popular Mary Lisbeth. Cole would give his eye teeth to get a smile from Mary Lisbeth. He looked longingly at the house, thinking to himself that she would never even notice him. She was too smart, too pretty, and she deserved sonnets to be written to her, love poems to put Shakespeare to shame.


Pardner squatted on the wet grass of Old Man Hopper's lawn, and Cole barely noticed. He stared over at Mary Lisbeth's house and words began to fill his head.


"Mary Lisbeth, you inspire me to write.

How I love the way you shine, a distant star

Invading my mind day and through the night,

Always dreaming about the future far.


Let me compare you to a gentle sigh?

You are more youthful, golden and fair.

Blonde rains flood the fond fields of July,

And the springtime has the blossoming care."


Ten minutes later, Cole had not returned and Mav poked his head out of the door, spotting him standing a little ways down the street, motionless, staring out into space, as the rain half drowned him. "What the hell? That boy's got a screw loose," he muttered, and he shut the door behind him.


The rain storm stayed strong all throughout the day and the night, and the next morning, all over the little town, people found their thoughts swirling in new and exciting ways.


Violet Jensen finally found the right recipe that would beat Hester Nurnberg's apple crumble in the next church bake off. Edgar Millner realized why his marriage was failing and was inspired sit his wife Tolly down and truly listen to what she needed from him. Deputy Mayor Burnwalt came up with the perfect slogan to win the big chair in the next election. The April Twins put together a routine that was sure to win them a spot on the cheerleading squad.


Thoughts, and thinkings, and inspirations and revelations formed little puddles on the streets, and streaked the windows until the clouds parted and the sun came out, shining on a brand new day.




February 26, 2024 06:11

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2 comments

Alexis Araneta
11:57 Feb 26, 2024

Very interesting, Heather ! Raining thought ! It makes me wonder what it would be like if that actually happened. Would this be an advantage for creatives? Or, would it be a case of the Law of Supply and Demand screwing us over, rendering the creative field "useless" because "You could just soak in the rain". Hmmm... Great job !

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Heather Kenealy
18:05 Feb 26, 2024

Thank you! It might be useful when I have writers block though lol! Bottle it and keep it in the fridge for when my muse isn't co-operating!

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