Seek

It's always raining! I hate the rain, I hate this stupid tiny window, I hate everything here. I Just wish that I was born somewhere more interesting and more festive, but instead I live in Iowa. There's never anything fun to do, or fun people to hang out with. This place is far too relaxed, and everyone’s comfortable where they are. Not me, I want more out of life than looking out of a small window in a one bedroom apartment wishing. I want to see the rest of the world. I need adventure!

I'm only here for school though, working a part time just to pay rent for a shitty apartment with no air conditioning. I try to block out my shitty living situation as much as I can, because one of these days I'm gonna have enough money to do whatever it is I want to do when I want to do it. I just-don't know what I want to do, or what exactly my niche is, you know like: who am I? What do I want to do? What can I give to people? Everyone else  answers these questions with ease and I just can't… I'm young and still have time to figure that out though. These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night. But it really is getting late. Feeling tired I cut out my bedroom light and slowly fell asleep.

~

I work at a used book store for $10 an hour. The pay isn’t that great but the job’s cool, they have tons of books I can read for free. I read a little, but none of the books I've read so far have changed things for me. People say the best way to hide information is in a book, so I know I should read more often. All I really need is the right book to set me on my tracks. I've read a few popular books; The Odyssey, Harry potter, Hunger games, and Fahrenheit 451. These were all pretty dope books, but none of them changed the way I thought, or helped me in the direction I wanted to go. And still I haven't found one.

Today is one of those days where I don't particularly want to do anything though. I have work from Noon till 9, but I'm seriously debating on calling in. I hate working, and It's probably because of the notion that an hour of my life can only be worth $10. Nevertheless, rent cant be paid with my thoughts so I probably should get up and get going. Today I dressed really shitty, like sweatpants and dirty shoes shitty. I didn’t care though and despite not wanting to go to work I left. 

I arrived and clocked in at around 12:20. Late, as usual. “Why are you always late?” said Lorena. She’s my coworker, I’ve had a crush on her since I clocked in for the first time. Me being who I am and being more introverted I’m pretty sure I’d never tell her. She could definitely be my right hand, it's cool the way we connect. “Maybe you should try leaving home earlier,” she said. I gave a chuckle, she gave a smirk. I thought to myself, “just ask her out already”. The thought was pushed aside by the sound of the doorbell ringing. I glanced over and saw a tall slightly older man wearing a nice suit, Probably in his 60’s. He wheeled in a stack of maybe 50 books, examining the store-looking for the drop off point I assume. “Hey, how can we help you?” said Lorena. The elderly man responded, “Just here to give away a few books; well more than a few” as he looked at the stack of books. “How many do you have sir?”,  “59 I believe, I'm not exactly sure-I counted earlier.” “Well we give about $3 per book, so I owe you exactly $177.” “No no it's fine, I'm not going to read these anyways. Consider it a donation” he said, smiling as he headed towards the door. 

We began to inspect the books. In reality I was only helping so I could get first dibs on anything nice, or expensive. We are allowed only 4 free books to keep a month, I guess you could call it an employee benefit. Occasionally we get some good stuff, most of them not in the genres I like to read. 

He had lots of great books actually, the diary of Anne frank, Life of pi, to kill a mockingbird, Romeo and Juliet, and more. After about 15 minutes of sifting and reading book blurbs I found a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. The only thing that the back cover said was “To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation.” Just like that I was intrigued. I packed it away and put it in my car so that I wouldn't forget it.

Even after the good find, I still knew that there was a daunting 9 hours of work left in the day. I walked back into the store and sat back in my spot. “I’ve never seen you that excited before” Lorena said. I didn't say anything back though. Mainly because I was still trying to guess what the book could be about, I mean even the cover of the book was attractive. It was orange, yellow, and red with pyramids at the bottom. Also what looked like sand dunes directly in the middle. I simply couldn't wait to read it. 

~

Eventually the store fell quiet, as the customers fled. The time was now 8:50pm, the book was the only thing on my mind the entire day. Until now. Lorena randomly asked “Do you wanna hang out this weekend?” I didn't want to assume that it was a date type of thing, so I played it cool. “Sure, do you want to go to the movies or something?” “Yeah, It's a date then”. I thought to myself, “This is it, the moment I’ve been waiting for and yes maybe I was embellishing the situation way more than I should have been. But I was happy anyway.

I drove back home empty, and utterly tired from the long day at work, I walked into my apartment and laid on my worn couch. I opened up the book and was about to begin reading, then I saw what was a thin envelope taped behind the first page of the book. It read “Whoever chose this book wants more out of life, this book will give direction I will give the tool ”~The giver. I proceeded to open the envelope, slightly confused and baffled. I began to pull out a check for $15k written out to “the dream seeker”. I dropped the book almost as if I had forgotten I was even holding it. To be honest at that moment I forgot where I was. I had forgotten everything. Because at that moment all that had mattered was what I was holding in my hand, the key to my dreams...